It was too much!
It was just plain cruel!!!
I’d tried to pounce on the master in the martial arts hall to "chest" his head, but he’d countered with a thrust that sent me smashing through the glass and flying clean out of the cottage!!!
I got chewed out by all sorts of people for that one!
So, next time, I figured I’d go in expecting to be sent flying. I twisted my body in mid-air to dodge his thrust.
But the master—he just kept charging and mowed me right down.
It was basically a minor traffic accident.
See what I mean? It didn’t even make sense anymore.
So, I used the momentum of being blown back to plant my feet on the hall's wall, launched a triangle kick, and threw a thrust of my own.
I was playing for keeps. I put everything I had into it.
But the master just nimbly dodged, and my wooden sword ended up buried in the floorboards.
It wouldn't budge!
"Ah, timeout! Wait, wa—!!!"
I’d shouted, but that jerk of a master! He took a full-power swing right at my ass!
And it wasn’t a light thwack!
It was a heavy, dull thud!!!
The kind of impact that rattles your very core.
It hurt so much!!!
This is why I keep telling people I’m not strong!
In terms of raw, unaugmented physical ability, I’m barely any different from Eddie, and he’s the guy who lost in the second round of the national tournament for no-rules sparring!
Hell, if this were a real match, I’d lose by disqualification!
My swordsmanship had already mutated into something else entirely, what with the ancient swordsmanship style from Melissa’s family getting mixed in!
Even Piggett told me, "The Lord Groom’s sword is no longer Imperial Army Swordsmanship!"
Then that old master looked at the wooden sword stuck in the floor and actually said this:
"Hmm... Leo Kamishiro. I no longer consider you a student. You are a wild beast. I shall show no mercy!"
Kawagon. Herbivore.
Main diet: potatoes.
"You possess the flexibility and speed of a tiger combined with the power of a bear. Even the Chlorella-treated group or the Beast Race couldn’t push themselves this far. To think you’re still incomplete is terrifying. Well, how about it? Don’t you want to see if you can surpass the limits of humanity?"
"I’d really rather not!"
"Hahaha! It seems you still have energy to spare! Fine, then. Next is hand-to-hand sparring. Come at me."
He turned his back, so I pounced.
Fuhahaha!
This was for everything he’d put me through!!!
"Hmm? Cowardice? Never heard of her!!!"
"Guhyahyahyahya!!! Die!!!"
...I got tossed.
Right out of the martial arts hall.
Through the window.
With a loud shatter.
If I were anyone else, I’d be in the hospital right now!
Fuming, I pulled off a graceful landing, grabbed a rock, and threw it. Round two, begin.
The master hopped out through the shattered window.
A flying kick came screaming at my face.
The battle spilled outside.
I threw a stone; the master dodged.
I wasn't actually trying to hit him. It was just a distraction to kill his momentum.
I dove for his feet to pull off a leg scissors!!!
Or so I thought, but a knee came crashing down from above.
I rolled to dodge... and got kicked right in the rear.
A heavy oomph sound echoed. God, it hurt!!!
I scrambled away on all fours and stood back up.
I-I'm not scared of you!
Raging Bear Pose!!!
He caught me in a standard lock-up.
This guy! He could do wrestling, too?!
And Greco-Roman style at that!
For the record, I’d never studied— ...I was thrown before I even knew what was happening. I managed to land on my feet!
After killing the impact, I held my ground with a neck bridge, then shifted into a rotational move from a headstand! I retreated using a headspring.
Boing, boing, boing!
Once I had my balance back, I switched to a handspring.
Fuhaha! I’d catch him off guard with this bizarre movement and— hurk!
I got sent flying by a simple side kick.
But I twisted in the air and stuck the landing.
Ow, ow, ow!
Next, the master took a stand-up fighting stance.
I’ll show you stand-up, you old geezer!!!
I dodged and dodged and dodged... I used my eyes to bait his attack... and—eat this!!!
My full-power uppercut whistled through empty air.
Then he caught my face with one hand... Oh, this was bad.
Right into an iron claw.
Migyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
"Your movements are the height of inefficiency, and yet you can actually trade blows with me... The world truly is a vast place!"
He tossed me aside.
Boing! Sproing!!!
"We’re done. Work on optimizing your movements. The feint with your eyes was good. Also, stop throwing stones! Do it again and I’ll kill you!"
"Understood, sir-gojarimasu! Thank you very much!"
I made sure to give a loud, disciplined response.
(I’m definitely going to ambush him later.)
All of this was being caught on camera by the war correspondent big sister.
The Officer Academy bunch watching from the martial arts hall were completely shell-shocked.
But the ones who were even more disturbed were the general soldiers.
And Thomas’s personal guard.
"T-that's not training... it's an ordeal..."
I had to play the victim here. Time to pull a "pien" and act like I was suffering!
"Geez, I hate this! I’m all bruised! I’ll never be a ballerina now, pien!"
There. Perfect.
"He went through all that and all he got was a bruise? (whisper)"
"He got thrown through a window and he's just complaining about a bruise? (whisper)"
"He threw a rock to provoke the master after being defenestrated... He's a total lunatic (whisper)."
...Why?!
Why am I the lunatic here?!
It’s the master!
The master is 100% the villain in this story!!!
And then, to make matters worse, look at the news the next day.
[Major Leo Kamishiro engages in combat-style ascetic training against Master Katori—the man hailed as the strongest in the Empire, with ten consecutive titles in the All-Galaxy Imperial Swordsmanship Tournament and eight in the All-Galaxy Imperial Hand-to-Hand Combat Tournament. Master Katori commented: "I have stopped thinking of him as human. If I let my guard down, I would be the one defeated."]
What is this garbage headline?
That’s not what happened at all.
I was just getting one-sidedly pummeled.
And yet, for some reason, I’m forced to do Imperial Style Swordsmanship forms every single day now!
"Oh, still at it?"
Master Katori showed up.
"Ei! Ei! Ei!!!"
"Mhm, your forms are starting to look corrected. Ah, right. That independent training where you strike the log. I like that. Do it every time you go to the bathroom."
"Ehhh?!"
"Do you have an objection?"
"None, sir!!!"
Just hearing him talk about the bathroom made me need to go.
I went, did my business, washed my hands, then grabbed a thick branch and started walloping the log.
"Daryaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!"
Snap.
Oops, the wood I was holding snapped.
A thicker one.
I need a thicker one.
Ah, there.
"Daryaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!"
I struck it thirty times and went back.
Then back to the forms.
Can you believe this?
I’m supposed to be management.