The Ugly Contest.
That whole business was a descent into hell.
If I recall correctly, it happened while Leo was away at one of his certification seminars.
Even now, he seems to think we were excluding him from the group, but that wasn't the case at all.
Leo simply wasn't there because he was off getting licensed.
I mean, seriously, the guy spent every waking moment of his leave at those damn seminars! Even when the rest of us were just hanging out and chatting, he’d be buried in his study materials!
It wasn't that we didn't invite you! You just weren't around!
At the time, I was actually arguing against a particularly trashy opinion that Melissa was ugly.
My argument was that her features were actually quite well-proportioned. It was just a shame that she looked so intense because her gaze was too sharp and she never wore makeup.
Then the other guys started pestering me, asking, "Oh, so you like Melissa?"
I couldn't deal with them. Melissa is a good person, but I've never felt anything romantic for her. That was one thing, and this was another.
When I called them idiots, they retorted with, "Fine then, let's decide who's actually uglier than Melissa!"
"Do whatever you want, you morons!!!"
I stormed back to my room in a fit of rage.
Usually, they were decent guys, but they had a habit of taking things too far. I thought they were just being a bit rowdy that day, too.
But...
A few days later, I discovered that I had somehow been labeled the organizer of the whole thing.
Sure, I was technically the catalyst! But I wasn't the damn organizer!
And just like that, I ended up being loathed by all the girls... talk about a complete lack of logic!
Thinking about it brought tears to my eyes.
But right now, I had to focus on surviving.
"Watanabe-san. The pursuers will probably be here any minute, so just tell them the truth—that we've already left."
"But... My Lord!"
"And... you are?" I asked the man in the military uniform.
His head was massive.
"I am Suematsu, Commander of the Count Anheim Knight Order, at your service!"
So he was a knight belonging to the previous lord—or rather, the governor. He was calling himself the commander of my knight order without my permission, so I wasn't entirely sure if he was an ally yet...
"Well, if you'd rather join the pursuers' side, feel free."
"My clan has always prospered by riding the winning horse! I am certain that My Lord shall emerge victorious in this coup as well!"
When someone is that blatant about being a fair-weather follower, it actually makes them easier to trust. He probably wasn't a spy.
"Fine. Follow me. Minerva-san, let's go."
"Understood!"
I changed into my combat suit and activated the optical camouflage. I was glad I’d remembered to bring my helmet. Minerva-san had brought along a combat suit of her own, just in case. Suematsu was wearing a Duke Army combat suit; it was a generation old, but the functionality wasn't much different from the newer models.
I grabbed the assault rifle from the governor's residence. My only other weapons were this and the pistol I’d brought as a backup.
"Shall we take the car?" Minerva asked, but I held up a hand.
"Wait a second. I need to disable the automatic driving first."
"This is an auto-assist vehicle, so it's the type that can't be fully disabled."
It was a model that switched between semi-auto and full-auto. Even in semi-auto, the driving assist remained active. If the system were hacked, we'd be looking at a 'fortunate accident' that ended in a successful assassination.
"Not a problem. Lady Luna, can you hear me? I'm worried about hacking, so please override and disable the automatic driving."
"Understood! There, all done!"
"Thank you!"
"In that case, I shall take the wheel. I happen to hold a manual vehicle license."
Suematsu volunteered to drive. It felt a bit sketchy entrusting my life to someone I barely knew, but Suematsu seemed like the type to prioritize his own life above all else, so he wouldn't do anything reckless. He probably wasn't even cut out to be a spy.
"Head for the spaceport."
"By your command!"
As we climbed into the car, I finally got through to Ren.
"Eddie? You're alive!?"
"Yeah. How's it going on your end?"
Suddenly, a chorus of shouting erupted in the background.
"Hyah-ha! Incinerate the Duke Association remnants! Kill 'em all!"
"Awoooo! The barrage is too thin! More fire!"
"Grrr! We'll protect our planet! Long live Lady Ren!"
The air was filled with the distinct howls of the Beast Race and the thunder of explosions.
"...It's basically like that!"
I got the picture.
"Got it. I don't have many allies here, so I'm heading your way."
"Okay, understood! We're going to take back the spaceport... so, uh, give us about half a day."
It sounded like they had their hands full over there, too.
Half a day, huh? That was a long time to kill.
"It seems Ren's spaceport has been seized. She says it'll take half a day to reclaim it... which means we have to keep fighting until then. Suematsu-san, is there anywhere we can get our hands on a Humanoid Fighter?"
"There are some at the Knight Order garrison... but they are ancient machines."
"Are they manual models?"
"They are indeed."
"Then they're perfect."
The machines our squad currently used were manual. Even if the UI was modernized, the core was based on five-hundred-year-old tech. Age didn't matter. If anything, an old manual machine would have a faster response time than the latest standard models.
The Knight Order garrison was right nearby. Suematsu used a physical key to open the lock, and we stepped inside to find a young knight waiting.
"Commander Suematsu! Where have you been? There's an armed uprising! We need to flee immediately!"
He was annoying, but his judgment was sound. At least he was competent.
"We shall not flee! For the man standing before you is none other than the hero's right hand—the man they call the limb of Leo Kamishiro! Behold, Count Anheim!"
That was news to me. I was pretty sure I was ranked somewhere below Leo's wives—not so much a right hand as a toenail. Regardless, the young knight looked at me with pure adoration. I decided to ignore him.
"I-In that case!"
"My Lord intends to sortie in the Humanoid Fighter stored here! Come, we shall accompany him!"
I looked over at Minerva.
"Minerva-san, you should stay somewhere safe."
"Second Lieutenant, I am coming with you."
You've got to be kidding me. This was a stall-for-time mission with no guarantee of survival. This was the 'Guaranteed Bad End' route!
"Banzai for the Count!"
For some reason, Suematsu was already cheering. Whatever. I didn't care anymore.
I powered up the Humanoid Fighter in the warehouse Suematsu showed me. It was a red machine. I had a few complaints—like wondering if white wouldn't have better stealth properties—but I decided to let it go. It was armed with a pulse rifle and a sword. Standard equipment.
"The rebels are here!"
As soon as Minerva spoke, I launched. Five machines, right off the bat.
Pushing through the sideways-driving snow, I closed the distance with the lead unit.
"A Knight Order machine?! Identify your—"
I cut him down before he could finish.
"Insolent brat. I am Count Anheim!"
The moment the words left my mouth, I grabbed the machine I’d just slashed and used it as a shield. It was the 'Brawling Style' taught to me directly by Leo Kamishiro.
A merciless hail of bullets peppered the machine I was using for cover. This group clearly had zero sense of camaraderie.
The instant the gunfire let up, I kicked the perforated machine into another enemy that was charging at me. As the enemy stumbled from the impact, I slashed through it and roared into the external speakers.
"If you're so eager to die, then come and get it!"
Despite the howling blizzard, my voice echoed with unnatural clarity.