After hitting all the rides, we headed for an all-you-can-eat churrasco place.
Meat.
It was meat, meat, and more meat.
Ren, being a total carnivore, had a look of pure bliss on her face. One-oh-one and Tatiana were just as satisfied. For some reason, they were both clutching shiitake and eringi mushroom plushies... which I’d ended up buying for them.
Despite carrying mushroom toys, they didn't even spare a glance at the real mushrooms on the buffet. To them, meat was justice.
Truth be told, on the day I was appointed Grand Duke and Major, I’d had a formal dinner with Wifey and the military high command. I had no idea where the funding came from, but I certainly didn't pay a cent. They served incredibly expensive beef and high-end sushi, but for the life of me, I couldn’t remember what it tasted like.
Why is it that official business meals never taste like anything? I’d tried to sneak a drink with a look that said, "Don't mind me, it's just juice," but Wifey blocked me instantly. She had my behavior patterns completely mapped out.
It really makes you think. The cheap "kids' food" you eat with friends—ramen, fast food, even dorm meals—is always the most delicious. You just can’t appreciate the flavor when you're dining with the military brass.
So, I was stuffing my face with meat like a man possessed. I ate until I was ready to burst.
It was glorious. Compared to that brand-name beef, it lacked fat, but this felt so much better.
"My lord husband, this is wonderful."
"It is delicious, sir!"
"Hey, you've got a smudge on your face."
"Thank you, Tatiana, sir!"
Wifey, Claire, and Melissa were eating at a more dignified pace.
"This is nice once in a while,"
It was the taste of the common people. This was exactly what I needed. Just a simple, happy meal. I went to the drink bar, grabbed juices for everyone, and brought them back.
"Oh, thanks, Captain."
Why did I get the drinks? Because if you leave a group of students alone with a drink bar, they inevitably start mixing flavors. I wasn't about to let them create Object X.
I also snagged some salad. Vegetables—vegetables solve everything!
Nina-san was also enjoying her meat. The sight of her eating... was incredibly sexy.
It was just a casual, teenage trip. Normally, we would have bought some souvenirs, played a few more games, watched the night parade, and called it a day. That was how it was supposed to go.
"By the way, did you guys hear?" Kevin laughed. I felt a sudden pang of dread.
"The anti-inauguration faction is holding a demonstration against Veronica-chan."
Kevin projected a news feed. There are always people who want to be contrarians.
"They're demanding a transition to republicanism."
"Oh, that?" Wifey said, looking annoyed. "I told them directly: if they can defeat the Zork, I'll abdicate and do whatever they want."
She was fuming, which made her look adorable. I picked up a strawberry and gave her a "say ahh."
"But they're part of the peace faction, aren't they?"
"It is mere sleep-talking to speak of peace when you cannot even converse with the Zork."
"Luna-chan hacked one of the female-types, but she couldn't break through to the core from the terminal," Kevin added. "She tried to take over the Mother to force a peace, but it didn't work."
That's some heavy stuff for a vacation, guys.
"Well, peace is impossible. I have already attempted what those fools suggest,"
"True."
We were having that kind of heavy conversation when Amada's voice suddenly blared over the park’s PA system.
"The protesters have breached the gate! Your Highness! Please evacuate!"
Ho. I see. So they want to pick a fight.
"Hey, Wifey. I'm gonna go suppress them, okay? ♪"
I won't forgive them. I just wanted to enjoy a fun, normal student trip!
"Wh-what are you planning to do?"
I’ll use that. I spotted a horse-type drone used for the park's live shows. I moved to straddle it, feeling like a cowboy.
"Leo, wear this."
I was handed a topknot wig and a gorgeous kamishimo set. There was even a katana.
"Then you guys take the bikes and the Ogyarion suits."
"...Heh, you've got the right idea."
"Let's do it!"
A joint operation with the boys. Clip-clop, clip-clop, clip-clop...
The Royal Rumble General!
Chon!
"Hiyah!"
Playing the part of the high lord, I galloped through the park on my white 'horse.' Beside me, the Ogyarions rode on their motorcycles.
Kaboom!
Who was the idiot who set off the stage fireworks?! We found the protesters.
"Fuhahaha! We'll take the Empress hostage and establish republicanism!"
"Everyone in our way is an enemy!"
"I cannot allow such villainy!" I shouted.
Chon!
"Wh-wh-what?!"
"A horse is charging at us!"
"Hiyah!"
I jumped the horse-drone right over the protesters. All the while, the mysterious percussion sounds typical of a period drama echoed from somewhere.
"Y-you're Leo Kamishiro!"
"Do you still not recognize who this gentleman is?!" the Ogyarions shouted as they pulled up on their bikes.
"No, like I said, it’s Leo Kamishiro—"
"Silence! This is our Idiot Lord!"
Kaboom!
More fireworks shot into the sky.
"Ogyarion! Take them down!"
Kaboom!
The Ogyarion Squad of boys charged. In their hands were swords from the show... no, they were wooden swords from the gift shop, branded with the park’s mascot.
"Ogyarion Saber!"
"That's just a regular wooden sw—gyaaaaaaargh!"
A literal home run.
"Justice!"
I joined in, dual-wielding and pummeling them.
"Knock 'em out of the park, Lord!"
"Uoooooooooooh!"
Whack!
"W-wait! Is it legal for the military to use weapons on citizens?! Stop, let go—gyaaaaaaah!"
Whack!
"To do this to students enjoying their only day off! I won't let it slide!"
Why... why do people fight? The Ogyarions were beating them mercilessly. I was also dealing out 'non-lethal' beatings. What did I or Wifey ever do to deserve this interruption? I wasn't going to show mercy.
"W-we are the side of just—gyaaaaaaaah!"
I dealt out punishment to every fool I made eye contact with. Eventually, they fled toward the roller coaster.
"Toh!"
I beat them there with the speed of a cockroach. The Ogyarions were right behind me.
"Gyaaaaaaaah! They chased us all the way here!"
We jumped onto the moving roller coaster car.
"Babumi Sentai Ogyarion!"
The boys struck their poses, and I readied my wooden sword.
"Ugyaaaaaaaah!"
Oh, I wasn't the one plunging down. They just kind of... fell off on their own.
"Justice served."
Chon!
And so, evil was vanquished. Unfortunately, our 'battle' was filmed by dozens of people and promptly scattered across the internet. Wifey and Melissa were laughing their heads off. Ren, Claire, and Nina-san were clearly struggling to keep straight faces. Tatiana gave a cold, blunt "How stupid," while One-oh-one's eyes sparkled.
"Was the Captain actually a great Shogun, sir?!"
One-oh-one... you're such a good kid. Here, have a caramel.
"No more today! You'll get cavities!" Claire scolded.
After spending these kinds of idiotic days together, the day of Wifey’s Enthronement Ceremony finally arrived.