Terrifyingly enough, the lot of them we’d beaten to a pulp miraculously survived.\n\nAccording to the researchers, it was a Jester ability.\n\nIn short: Gag Space-time Correction.\n\nThis meant our battle hadn't been a massacre, nor had it even been bullying the weak. Our reputations and our mental states were preserved.\n\n“I wonder if the enemy just got stupider?” I mused aloud to the steward.\n\nIt turned out the Sato branch families had always been like that. They were a pack of idiots whose values hadn't evolved in centuries. They genuinely believed that if they showed off their martial valor, they'd receive favorable treatment. It was a worldview I couldn't even begin to fathom.\n\nPerhaps it was a miracle that such people had even won during the revolution's chaos. History shows it's possible. And as for them being crushed by us students? Their status as the Emperor and his inner circle must have been the only thing making them feel strong. Status truly does help a person grow.\n\nBut I still had no intention of becoming a “Sato,” thank you very much.\n\nNow, Sato Judo did die—not that it was a loss. Since it wasn't from our attacks, his death was apparently unavoidable.\n\nAs for the other idiots currently in the hospital, their lives were saved, but their futures were bleak. I suspected they’d be facing the death penalty at trial. It was blatant high treason, after all. And Sato Yuruga, the one who’d killed Sato Judo, was simply a murderer. He was spouting some nonsense about it being wartime, but there was no way that would be forgiven.\n\nHowever, there was little room for me to intervene. I left the whole mess to my wifey.\n\nNaturally, my clever wifey handed it off to Raymond, the Imperial Family's exclusive lawyer team, and a squad of university professors specializing in criminal law. After that, “discussions” with the prosecutors and the courthouse—which were really just ironclad orders—would be handed down.\n\nThen came the real problem.\n\nThe Officer Academy students were gathered in the dining hall for an emergency assembly. Everyone looked more dazed and exhausted than they had been after the battle.\n\n“Marriage interviews... Make it stop...”\n\nApparently, the battle had been broadcast across the entire galaxy. Because of our overwhelming strength, the Officer Academy students—who the public had previously seen as mere accessories to me—were suddenly in the spotlight. Regardless of gender, their photos and profiles were everywhere. Even the commoners among them were being flooded with marriage proposals from houses of the Marquis House class.\n\n“Wifey filtered through them and culled so many! She spent so much time on the selection!”\n\nDespite her efforts, files for potential brides and grooms were still piled up like mountains.\n\n“As expected, there are a lot of military factions in here,” she noted.\n\n“Well, yeah. They want people with proven excellence as soldiers. Here, these are your interviews for tomorrow.”\n\nI handed the files to the boys. Man, I was glad the Duke House estate had an event venue.\n\n“Oh, right. The Diet gave its approval. Students of the Officer Academy! As of today, you are all Counts!”\n\n“Wha?”\n\nEveryone cried out at once. Well, that was to be expected. Since they were the type of people who could get into the Officer Academy, they were mostly those who weren't in line to become heads of their own houses. I used to be the same way. Even among nobles, there were many younger siblings, youngest children, or extramarital kids.\n\nRen was a daughter of a Duke House, but from a mistress. Melissa was the youngest. Kevin and Tatiana were total commoners. Everyone else was in a similar boat. Usually, they’d have to become retainers for the eldest sibling or live as commoners. To be told they were now heads of Count houses was understandably confusing.\n\n“Your territories are around this area.”\n\n“Veronica-chan! That’s right near the capital! It’s Duke Territory!”\n\n“Indeed. I carved it up. The Diet concluded that, given recent events, it’s better to divide the lands near the capital among those who swear loyalty to the Empire.”\n\nIn short, they decided it was better to have many loyal lords than a few with massive territories. They chose a path where a massive army couldn't be moved all at once for a defense, but a rebellion couldn't be staged either. As for Zork countermeasures, they figured it was fine since everyone was so strong. It made sense.\n\nI spoke with a smirk. “Welcome to the world of high-ranking noble heads!”\n\n“No! I don’t want to do paperwork!”\n\n“I don’t want to end up doing Leo’s jobbbbbbbbbbbbbbb!!!”\n\n“S-Somebody! Someone find me a spouse with high domestic administration skills!!!”\n\nEveryone fell into a panic. They’d seen my daily routine, after all. Unlike Barons or Viscounts, becoming a Count meant you were a real ‘Lord.’ High-level administrative work was required—work my home planet’s house had never managed.\n\n“Oh, you’ve found your motivation! Everyone, do your best!” Wifey gave a wicked smile.\n\nFrom that moment on, their marriage hunting became dead serious. It was for real. The vibe was zero percent ‘dating app’ and one hundred percent desperate political necessity. Their expectations had bottomed out to: ‘as long as their personality is okay, anything goes. Just don't let my life become a living hell.’ A Count whose only backing was the Imperial Family was playing on hard mode, after all.\n\nThe top intellects, especially the University Division Faction, were different. They treated marriage hunting as a chance to build networks. They were expanding their influence while finding partners! If they found a promising match, they were engaged immediately. Why were they so fast on their feet? The gap between them and the terrified Senior High Division students was massive. So this was the power... of brains...\n\nThe graduate students were also serious from the start, as many were in their prime marriageable years. They were probably the most persistent of the bunch.\n\nI was worried this all might look bad, but the reputation was actually excellent. Apparently, having a solid vision for the future and sharing that outlook with the prospective spouse’s house was viewed very favorably. In reality, they were just panicking because they’d suddenly become Counts.\n\nThe only ones with any composure were me, my wives, Kevin, and Nina. Kevin had his citizenship back, but as a former Zork, he was still under wifey’s care. People were being cautious since it was a high-risk case. The others kept teasing, “Isn't it because he's Leo's woman?” but they needed to knock that off.\n\nNina’s family had received a rare appointment as lords despite their pirate history, so people were also waiting to see how that developed.\n\nOnce our brains felt like mush, we took a break.\n\n“Hyahhoooooooooooo!!!”\n\nEveryone cut loose, playing in the sea. Piggett and the others were also relaxing on the shore. Today, let's just play and forget about all the headaches!\n\nHyahhoooy!!!