Tatiana, who was two years younger than me, was being doted on by everyone, regardless of gender.
Since Edge and Alyssa were so reliable, everyone probably felt relieved to finally have a dummy in the group.
Edge and Alyssa had learned to iron perfectly in a single try, after all...
They were already better at using polite speech and saluting than I was.
As for me, I was currently drilling the absolute minimum of manners and military discipline into Tatiana.
Since Wifey and Prince Thomas—both members of the Imperial Family—were frequent visitors, I had to hammer discipline into her immediately or things would get ugly.
Wifey was family, so she was fine, but it would be disastrous if Tatiana messed up in a formal setting where Thomas’s Personal Guard and Chamberlains were present.
She would be dead before she even reached the battlefield.
I wouldn't be able to protect her, and it was impossible to be rooting out every idiot who would target her if they perceived her as a weak point.
That was why she was learning things that Imperial Junior Academy students were forced to do until they cried—like not bending her rank insignia, making her ironing perfect, and making her bed at high speed.
In parallel, she was learning how to hold chopsticks and a pen.
Correcting her habit of eating like a dog was a pressing issue.
Also, she had to take off the piercings when wearing the military uniform.
Her punishments consisted of running and push-ups.
"I didn't hear anything about thiiiiiiis!!!"
Tatiana’s scream echoed from the running course.
We were hardening our hearts to make her do it.
If the highest-ranking person we encountered was just a Baron, we could have kept going as we were.
But this was the Last Dungeon, a place where we frequently encountered royalty.
For a Level 1 to survive, there was no choice but to grind levels like hell.
Next, I had to drill marching into her.
"Why do I have to memorize this stuff!?"
She was snapping, all right.
"Because we guard the Imperial Family. If you can't do it, it's an execution offense. Hahaha!"
"...You're kidding, right?"
There was no such thing as a waste of time at the Officer Academy.
Despite her attitude, while Tatiana was rebellious toward us boys, she was absolutely submissive to Kevin.
"Big Sister Kevin! Yo!"
It was a classic Yankee greeting.
Apparently, she had been "beaten down by the perfect feminine skills of a fellow Colony citizen."
Everyone decided to keep the truth from her.
Furthermore, Tatiana was learning how to cook from Kevin and Nina.
It seemed she wanted to break away from the culture of rehydrating dried snack potatoes and insisting it was potato salad.
"I want to make snacks for my younger sisters," she said with bloodshot eyes.
Apparently, her mother was the type who wouldn't cook even if her life depended on it.
For now, I patted her head, saying, "Good girl, good girl." She got extremely angry.
She gave me a Yankee Kick.
Hmm, lacking power.
I’d have to teach her CQC soon. And Imperial Style Swordsmanship.
But I wasn't the only one messing with her hair.
The guys who actually had younger siblings in real life were doting on her, claiming, "Now that's a real sister."
"You bastard, don't pat my head!"
She hated it, but she was being pampered like a cat regardless.
Since she was like a real sister, she was made to do toilet cleaning and laundry when it was her turn.
Things could be harsh at times.
One day, Tatiana asked me a question.
"Why are you guys doing chores even though you're elites!?"
"Our policy is to do everything ourselves."
In the first place, those assigned to warships... well, except for a portion of the ultra-elite track, even the Imperial Army did everything.
Sure, drones could do it.
But if they broke, we'd end up having to do it all ourselves.
We had to be able to handle at least the minimum requirements.
"Tatiana, ah, there you are!"
Kevin arrived.
"Big Sister!"
This girl really viewed the world through a Yankee hierarchy.
"Veronica-chan is here, so let's go greet her!"
Oh, so Wifey had come to visit.
I believed she had been confined to the Inner Palace for a three-day ritual. Was it finally over?
Next was a ritual for us as a couple to show gratitude to the Imperial soldiers who died in the line of duty.
It would be the first time in a while wearing the ceremonial military uniform.
When we went to the cafeteria, Wifey was there.
"Lord Groom!"
The moment she saw me, she hugged me.
I was glad I’d gotten married...
"Let me introduce you. This is the newcomer, Private First Class Tatiana."
"'sup."
She gave a quick bow.
Kevin pulled Tatiana’s cheek.
"I taught you, didn't I?"
"Yeth... This is Private First Class Tatiana! I will serve with all my heart and soul!"
The angle of the salute was good.
Her back was straight.
Yeah, she passed.
"I am Veronica. So you are the new mistress candidate the military mentioned. I look forward to working with you."
"Yes!"
"Wait, that's news to me."
"I have been ordered to bear the Captain's children!"
"Aren't clones enough? I mean, you're probably making clones of me without my knowledge anyway, right?"
"Lord Groom, even if we make clones of you, the Jester factor is not passed on. Besides, regarding your clones, it seems they created about 300 of them on a frontier planet."
They really went and did it.
Those inhuman experiments.
"Ugh, that makes me feel sick."
"According to the reports, every one of them grew into an excellent soldier, but as Espers, they were mediocre. It seems they did not copy their memories. Even so, they tried deploying them in actual combat, but they all died. It seems the existence of the soul, which was so thoroughly denied by science, has surfaced."
"The theory that ESP depends on the soul? But that originated as a conspiracy theory."
Or rather, could you please get my permission?
Otherwise, I'm going to run away.
I'm serious.
Then Tatiana raised her hand.
"Ah, my apologies. This was a harsh topic for Tatiana. Please forgive me."
Wifey was being admirable for apologizing so straightforwardly.
"No, that's fine, but... does that mean I'm not even a millimeter the same being as the previous me?"
"By definition, you are the twin sister of your predecessor. Socially, you are the same person. Religiously, there is debate."
"What the hell even is a soul? My family doesn't have any dealings with monks, so..."
"I do not know."
Even if I said, "It's a mass of the creator's malice," she wouldn't believe me.
I decided to keep my mouth shut.
Anyway, I understood that making clones of me was pointless.
"What about in vitro fertilization?"
"Ah, that has already been done. To recreate an environment close to our own children, they are being carefully raised in the Inner Palace using the eggs of my mothers."
"...Why wasn't a single word of this mentioned to me?"
"Because the survival of humanity is at stake. Furthermore, it has been discovered that not a single one of your children conceived through in vitro fertilization is a Jester. It seems the factor is not passed on unless it is a natural pregnancy, after all. Besides, you would have opposed it, wouldn't you? The Empire kept it a secret because they feared you would run away into the night, Lord Groom."
"Well, of course I'd oppose it, and if things get too awful, I will run, but—"
I figured Ren and Melissa would probably go with me.
I should start thinking of a concrete escape plan now.
"And besides, won't that cause problems later? Like succession issues?"
"Oh, please. There are mountains of collapsed noble houses. We shall simply make them the heirs of those."
Will the next generation of the Empire be full of my children...?
"Tatiana. Since that's the case, you don't have to think about bearing my children or anything. Live freely."
"The military promised me 500 million credits if I give birth to one. My sisters' futures are on the line here. Please just jump me whenever you're feeling horny."
"I've never been more turned off in my life!!!"
"Hahaha! Lord Groom, you are quite popular!"
What was this?
My worries were just going to keep on increasing!