Now, what’s the word on our dear Leo Kamishiro this time?
The volume titled: The aftermath of the televised battle. Riots break out everywhere, and it's the end of me.
Actually, it was exactly that.
My reckless battle had been broadcast across the entire universe. Right down to the very end, where I was so dehydrated I couldn't even move, leaning on that bastard Amada’s shoulder just to climb into a military vehicle... all of it, completely uncut.
The people who saw that and absolutely lost it were the conscription veterans.
"What the hell are you making a kid do, you idiots?!" they roared.
Well, I suppose it made sense. Roughly half the urban centers on the Imperial Capital Planet had been leveled into vacant lots. It was a simple fact that the citizens' frustrations had reached a boiling point.
On other worlds, too—specifically the ones I’d liberated—the residents finally snapped. What followed were massive riots.
Arson attacks targeted government offices one after another. Meanwhile, lines of volunteers formed at military recruitment centers.
The scale was on a completely different level than before. Old and young, men and women—they all applied to enlist. Thanks to that, the administrative branch, which had been suffering from a lethal shortage, suddenly had a massive influx of personnel.
And just like that, paperwork—my greatest enemy—dwindled.
Thank you, babies!!!
Most of them were probably shocked. They signed up thinking they’d become soldiers and fight, only to be shoved into desk jobs. But hey, we were desperate for administrative staff.
Watching officers with "Colonel" or "Major" in their titles muttering "Please don't quit..." as they practically begged the new clerks assigned to the base, the recruits likely realized just how critical the military’s situation had been.
Hahaha! There was no way we were going to waste precious administrative staff by grinding them up on the front lines!
I salute you all!
The riots lasted for a few days, but the police prioritized guarding shops over government offices. Consequently, the rioters went back to their normal lives after they finished burning the bureaucracy to the ground.
Curiously, the people working inside those offices were often the ones leading the charge to set the place on fire. What a mess.
I’d been worried about a flood of criticism coming my way, but instead, I was showered with praise. I don't even understand what's happening anymore.
Clerks were even assigned to the student dormitory that served as my base. My friends, who had been withered by paperwork, were overjoyed. Even better, a professional chef was stationed with us. We were in heaven!
And so, our Infinite Paperwork Arc and Infinite Frozen Food Arc came to an end.
Ah, I’m not actually "finished" myself, though. Guess it was a bit of title clickbait.
We held a meeting while snacking on Kevin’s handmade cookies. They were made with okara powder, so they were a good source of protein. Kevin had completely blended in with the girls now.
We’d actually run a survey asking, "Is it weird having a former dude around?" The results were:
Not weird: 30%. Don't give any cookies to the boys' dormitory: 50%. We need more snacks: 10%. Can I touch your chest and butt?: 10%.
Whatever, let's just call it a girls' dormitory and be done with it.
The soft and airy Nina-san was officially appointed as the head of the snack department, and she dedicated herself to production. Why was I having them make so many snacks? Because a black-market economy where cookies were used as currency had almost started to emerge. The girls had been starving for sweets.
We were, yet again, ordered to take a vacation. I thought we might all go to the beach, but nope—we were told to stay on standby in the dorms. Apparently, every single one of us needs a personal security detail now!
So, my days were filled with studying, training, and the occasional bit of work. During the day, I studied for the university entrance exams while occasionally inspecting the dormitory’s supplies. My current task involved a mountain of heavy cream. If we ran out of cream, the girls would riot. This was a vital mission.
I scanned the codes, verified the quantities, and confirmed nothing had been stolen in transit. I also had to make sure no one trying to assassinate me had slipped anything into the containers. Scanning the codes let me avoid that, though I’m sure everything had been triple-checked before it even got here.
"Phew... this is a lot of work."
"Tell me about it."
The other boys were wrestling with sugar bags. Sugar was essential; if that ran out, the girls would definitely riot.
Once inspection was done, it was back to studying. I hit the books in the study room with the guys—math, Imperial Standard Language, history... We’d become like regular high schoolers.
I read through digital manuals on my tablet. This part wasn't much different from my previous life, though the curriculum was heavily biased toward math.
As I was studying, someone hugged me from behind.
"Hmm?"
"I have arrived!"
It was Wifey.
"Want to play?"
"Sure."
As I tried to leave, the other boys hunkered down at the door, trying to look intimidating. "Ooh-hoo! Get a load of him!"
"God, you guys are annoying!"
"Why are you the only one who's popular?!"
"Don't you guys have a mountain of engagement proposals coming in too?!"
They were mostly idiots, but it was true that the students were being flooded with marriage offers. Even the commoners were getting scouts from houses equivalent to Marquis or Count houses. As a result, they were spending their days in a dizzying blur of arranged marriage interviews. It was honestly a bit off-putting to watch.
"That's not it! We want to experience a once-in-a-lifetime school romance!"
"You bastards threw that away yourselves!"
They shouldn't have held that Ugly Contest. That was the singular reason the girls were still ignoring them.
"Shut up! That's why we've decided to be a nuisance to you! Is a man's jealousy unsightly? Who cares! We'll never forgive you!"
"Everyone, sit on the floor. I'm going to punch you all, starting from the left."
I couldn't be bothered. I kicked the idiot by the door who was wearing a pompadour wig to look tough.
"Ow! You bastard! You kicked me! Not even my mom kicks me—wait, she actually does!"
"Then don't act like it's a new experience!"
I escorted Wifey back to my room, where Melissa and Ren were already lounging around, eating snacks.
"Yo! Hope you don't mind us crashing."
"Welcome home, Master."
I noticed a pair of massive breasts in the corner of the room—Kevin was there too, sulking in his Officer Academy Tracksuit.
"What’s up, Kevin?"
"The girls keep groping my chest, so I’m just gonna stay on this side!"
"Stop being weird."
Ignoring Kevin’s plight, Wifey flopped onto my bed. These people really had no boundaries.
"Why aren't there any dirty books in here?!" Melissa complained, flailing her arms and legs.
"Too bad! Everything I have is digital!"
Heh heh heh... I was planning to watch Married Woman Ninja The Final later.
Just then, the little fairy appeared from the edge of my augmented reality.
"Yahoo! Play with me!"
"Ah, you're here, Luna. Make yourself at home," Wifey muttered from under the covers.
"Hey, Luna," Melissa said, not looking up from her manga.
"Luna-chan, what should we do today?" Ren asked, already booting up a game.
"Luna-chan, listen to this...!" Kevin started whining to her.
Man, this was a mess. Absolute chaos.
The fairy puffed out her chest proudly.
"I have a major announcement! Leo-kun's promotion within the military has been put on hold!"
"Yes!"
"However, the promotions for everyone else have been finalized."
"Wait, what?"
"Melissa-san is being promoted to Second Lieutenant, and to keep things consistent, every single student at the Officer Academy is being promoted to Second Lieutenant as well."
What kind of madness is that...?