I'd been thinking this for a while!
In an RPG, instead of using magic to strengthen your spells, wouldn't it be more effective to just scatter flammable substances everywhere?
If you scatter something high-calorie and highly flammable—something light and fine that vaporizes instantly—isn't that basically the same as a high-tier spell?!
You wouldn't even need long incantations if you just threw some powdered sugar around!
Heck, gasoline or whatever would work too!
In other words, it goes like this!!!
I was choking!
"Hyah-haaa!!!"
I charged straight through the explosion.
A hero is supposed to have an explosion at his back, right?!
I'd said that out of pure desperation, but the area was a literal inferno. Naturally, I was caught right in the blast too!
Being a Space Marine is hell!
"You... monster..."
The Grand Chamberlain was swallowed by the blast before he could even finish his sentence.
I really hated this, but I'd grown accustomed to it. Accustomed to hell.
"Uooooooooo!"
This combat suit was built for space, after all!
Grand Chamberlain! There isn't one for you!!!
I sprinted forward, my sword held in a high guard.
I saw the Grand Chamberlain standing there, his surface charred. Reflected in his scorched compound eyes was a total idiot—me—sprinting in a space-use combat suit with my blade in Hasso-no-Kamae.
"To go... that far..."
Muscles, explosions, violence, victory. This was the truth of the world, unchanged since the days of Commando.
I swung my sword down with everything I had.
The Grand Chamberlain tried to defend himself with his spikes.
Naive. His arm, spikes and all, was driven straight into the hardened shell of his own face.
Ultra-close-combat-spec support class. I didn't even know what I was saying anymore, but this was the reality of the Jester.
Sages are just for show!!!
The Grand Chamberlain's exoskeleton emitted a series of wet cracks.
But I didn't stop; I swung through until the very end.
One-hit kill?! Zanshin?! I didn't give a damn!
I swung my blade up as if to pierce the heavens for a second strike! The second blow completely shattered his exoskeleton and tore into his internals.
"Uooooooooooo!"
I went for a third... or so I thought, until I was caught in a bear hug.
"Captain! Stop!!!"
It was Melissa's voice. Dressed in her full-equipment combat suit, she had apparently run through the dying inferno to reach me.
"That's enough! You're going to break your hands, Captain!"
Huh?
I felt something was off, and then I realized my sword was broken. I'd just been bludgeoning him with the wreckage.
Sonic Blade, my ass! How flimsy!
I threw away the remnants of the weapon. "I can beat you even with my bare hands!!!"
"Captain... it’s already over."
Huh?
The exoskeleton on the Grand Chamberlain's face had cracked wide open, revealing the old man inside. His tongue was lolling out, and he was completely unconscious. A total knockout.
I'd hoped the bastard would be charred on the inside, but he hadn't taken quite that much damage. After all that, only this much? I guess trying to beat a Zork with nothing but my own body really was a mistake. A blunt weapon might be more reliable.
"A-Arrest him!!!"
The police swarmed the Grand Chamberlain.
I pulled off my helmet and set it on the ground. Ugh... I couldn't move. I just flopped onto my back right there.
Since it was a space-use combat suit, my face hadn't turned pitch black from the soot. But I was so drenched in sweat that I could have wrung my shirt out.
Man, if this were a Rider or Sentai show, it wouldn't be depicted this messily. Seriously, a world of fire, smoke, and oil is hell...
"Suit deactivation."
I released the locks and climbed out of the suit. I was splayed out like a butterflied fish. Because the interior gets incredibly hot when used on the ground, I was just wearing a shirt and shorts underneath.
Melissa took off her suit right there, too. Underneath, she wore something akin to a female track athlete's uniform.
"...That was rough."
"Ahaha! Captain, you didn't get hurt this time!"
"Hey, Captain (Idiot), you still alive?"
That bastard Amada had arrived. He'd finally started writing "Captain" and reading it as "Idiot," hadn't he?
"I'm alive..."
"Do you have some kind of suicide wish, charging into the flames like that?"
"I told you, Zorks don't stop moving unless you overkill them."
"The process you used to reach that conclusion is what's terrifying."
Damn! He was starting to get way too casual with me!
"A high schooler did this? The government is finished."
"I'm a student at the Officer Academy..."
"You get a high school graduation qualification when you graduate, so it's basically the same thing!"
He'd finally started treating me as roughly as a classmate. Well, it was better than being called "Captain" formally.
"Hey, Leo. Listen up. I'll help you."
"Huh?"
"I'll help you reach the top!"
"No, I'm not aiming for the top..."
"Hey now, don't give me excuses. You're the man who's going to be the groom of the Imperial Princess and make her the Emperor. Don't tell me you don't have a single drop of ambition. That reckless way of living is what made this possible. I'll serve under you and see where your ambition leads us."
I didn't have any, though. If I had to say, maybe just something erotic. Far from reaching the end of some grand ambition, I'd just been desperately completing the tasks dumped in front of me. I didn't think he'd understand if I told him that, though.
Better to play along with his values...
"I have a great cause... Yes, universal pea—"
"Don't give me that 'universal peace' crap! Since you were born a man, you’ve got to aim for the top of the Empire!"
I really hated this. I just wanted a life where I had enough status to never worry about money, living lazily as my wifey's sponge while flirting with my wives.
"Ahahahaha! Captain, you're even popular with men now! I'm going to tell the Princess~♪"
Was she a demon?!
But Melissa was the only one who seemed likely to help me.
"H-Help me, Melissa!"
"I mean, even I wonder sometimes if you're aiming to be the ruler of the entire universe. You're far too good at war."
"T-That's not it! I just lived on momentum and it ended up like this..."
"Sure, sure. Her Highness must be thinking the Captain's going to achieve supremacy, too. That's why she did those reckless things to become the Emperor."
"O-Oh..."
No, no, no, no. Me standing at the top... that was a nightmare.
"It's fine. Even if it's just local warfare, if you're this good at it... let's give the Imperial citizens something to dream about."
"That's right! Husband, let's achieve supremacy!"
Ren had shown up, too, and was saying whatever she felt like.
"But look, you're the groom of the next Emperor. Isn't that enough already?"
That bastard Amada broke into a grin.
"Say whatever you want. Leo, you've already boarded a train that isn't going to stop."
Ahahahaha. I'd had enough. I was going to tattle to Wifey. Stupid! Stupid!
I watched as the Grand Chamberlain, bound from head to toe, was carried away. For now, mission complete. I didn't give a damn about the rest!!!