“There’s an openinnnnnnng!”
Melissa slashed at the Dark Blazer from behind. I loved that about her—her total inability to read the room!
Of course, I joined the fray as well.
Was it unfair? Sorry, but this was an extermination war!
“You gnats!!!” the Dark Blazer shrieked, unleashing a backfist.
Ahahaha! It was painfully obvious that she’d never had any real combat training. As if Melissa would ever get hit by a clumsy swing like that!
I circled around and slashed the Dark Blazer across the back. My blade tore through flesh and gouged the machine’s main body. As expected, a single stroke wasn't going to be enough to bisect it.
“Leo-kun! The evacuation is complete! You can go all out now!”
“Die! You inferior organisms! Death Blaster!!!”
I’d been waiting for that. I slammed a One-inch Punch into its torso.
My fist connected solidly. The Dark Blazer’s frame buckled into a V-shape. With its flesh shredded and its body forced downward, the firing trajectory of the Death Blaster shifted. The beam discharged directly into the garden’s sub-levels.
Silence.
Then, with a slight delay, an explosion erupted from underground like a volcanic surge of magma. My machine was supposed to be the same size as the Dark Blazer, just without the ability to transform into a train. Even so, the shockwave lifted my unit and tossed it into the air.
“Melissaaaaaaaaaaaa!”
Melissa’s machine vanished, swallowed by the blast. The Dark Blazer was similarly flung skyward. I watched as buildings collapsed in the distance; the structures in this district were likely all scrap metal by now.
I couldn't see a thing through the roiling dust. I only knew that I was falling.
“Leo-kun! The Dark Blazer is right below you!”
At the sound of Fairy’s voice, I instinctively raised my sword. Massacre Night responded faithfully to my intent.
“Let’s do this, Massacre Night!”
“Do you intend to stand in my way to the very end?! Leo Kamishiro!!!”
“Uoooooooooo!”
I slammed the blade into its shoulder—my Fake Satsuma Killing Arts! It was a move I’d practiced until I wanted to die, making it the technique I trusted above all else.
I planted my feet on the ground and dropped my center of gravity. Every ounce of the machine's weight flowed into the sword. The vibration blade tore through flesh and metal alike, ripping the Dark Blazer’s body apart. By the time my sword struck the earth, the Dark Blazer had been cleaved in two.
“Ho... w... I am... the Queen... of the New World...”
“Don’t be stupid. You only think that because the Zork brainwashing told you so!”
Kevin had been exactly the same. He had no real reason to want me dead, yet he’d been convinced he had to kill me. Besides, did this guy really think that after being a middle-aged man for decades, he could suddenly turn into a woman and become a queen? He was just a puppet dancing on a Zork string.
It was pathetic. However, Alexia didn't possess as much rationality as Kevin once had.
“Leo Kamishiro... at the very least, I will crush your other half...”
Those words made my blood run cold.
“Wifey!!!”
“Evasive maneuvers at full power!!!”
Responding to my transmission, Wifey took emergency action. What was the enemy planning?
“Diffusion Death Blaster.”
It had a function like that?!
“Slow!” I yelled, projecting a Slow field over the Dark Blazer.
“Fool! These are guided weapons!!!”
I lunged at the Dark Blazer, pinning it to the ground as I steeled my resolve.
“Death Blaster!!!”
I’d blast this thing into oblivion with my own Death Blaster and soak up the Guided Diffusion Beams myself. It was the only way!
I fired the weapon at point-blank range.
“Lo-Lord Groom!!!”
“Wifey! I’m not letting you die, no matter what!!!”
My Death Blaster gouged deep into the earth. Apparently, there were still underground facilities left to hit. Another massive explosion occurred, tossing us both into the air.
“Hahaha! It seems luck smiles upon me!!!”
The Diffusion Death Blaster fired. Dozens of beams slammed into Massacre Night, ruthlessly stripping away its armor.
“Leo-kun! Sensor Red!”
“Not yet—!!!”
I maintained the Slow field. I used the machine’s limbs to punch the beams passing through the air toward the ship. One arm exploded. Then the other.
A single shot escaped past me, soaring into the sky where I couldn't reach it. No, stop!
“Fire all missiles!!!” Wifey screamed.
She unleashed a barrage, hoping to diminish the beam’s power even slightly. But the diffused energy punched through and continued forward.
“Barrier output at maximum!!!”
Wifey pushed the shields to their limit, but the beam pierced through and struck the Aerial Battleship. The vessel began to plummet.
I ran. I ran and ran and ran. I couldn't catch the ship with my hands—I didn't have any left—so I threw my machine underneath to act as a cushion. The sound of metal grinding against metal shrieked through the air. With a wet, structural crunch, Massacre Night was flattened.
The Aerial Battleship came to a halt, pinning my crushed machine beneath it.
“Wi... Wifey...”
“Lord Groom! I’m alive!!! So you have to be, too...!”
“...This is Melissa... I can barely move my unit, but I’m heading to the rescue immediately! I’ll be furious if either of you dies!!!”
That was so like Melissa. I really did love that about her.
Now then, let’s talk about the aftermath.
The so-called Hound Squad? All hospitalized. The Imperial Guard? All hospitalized. Kevin, who’d been operating the Aerial Fortress; Nina; Ren; and even Kyoko, who’d been at the dock—every single one of them was hospitalized.
Numerous police officers and soldiers were left on the brink of death. While the Lords’ Allied Army had few fatalities, they still suffered significant casualties. For some reason, about thirty percent of the gathered media personnel perished. Analysts concluded this was because they weren't part of my party, placing them outside the range of the Jester's ability.
Wifey suffered major injuries this time and was bedridden. Edge and Alyssa escaped with mere fractures. Melissa and I, however, were sent straight to the ICU.
Alexia apparently survived for half a day afterward, but she passed away after an agonizing struggle. Many of the boys who had served as infantry were also sent to the ICU. And yet, this was considered a 'mild' reality. The fact that the situation didn't resolve itself with a punchline at the very end offered a glimpse into the limits of the Jester's power.
The civilian casualties were no laughing matter. Riots spread across various regions as the masses rampaged, calling for the heads of the Dukes. I thought the public's fury would be directed at us, but since we’d all nearly died, we received sympathy instead. Furthermore, the local lords were treated as heroes for fighting and bleeding alongside the people. Even the lords who fell were honored for their service.
“Leo-kun, the military has sent an inquiry regarding a promotion to Major.”
“Not a chance. A Major is basically a base commander! There’s a theory that it’s more like being an area manager than a store manager! I can't do it!!! My skill set isn't built for that!!!”
For days now, various departments have been hounding me with promotion offers. But I keep turning them down.
Please, just wait until I graduate from the Officer Academy Regular Course!