Naturally, the pathways of the theme park weren't nearly wide enough for Humanoid Fighters to pass through.
I disembarked to explore on foot.
I checked the area with a drone, but there were no Zork signatures. Nothing showed up on the thermal camera either. Zorks belonging to the space-faring classes had shells so thick they were barely affected by temperature changes. In fact, if we calibrated the sensors specifically for the constant internal temperature of a Zork, they usually stood out more.
I guess every specialized trait comes with a trade-off.
A statue of the Great Buddha sat enshrined at the entrance. Sketchy as hell.
Stepping inside, a cityscape from the Edo period unfolded before us. I began exploring the town with Melissa and Claire.
"Our territory doesn't have a single local specialty," Melissa explained. "Even if we wanted to get into agriculture, there's no land for it. So we manage to keep the people fed by running this experiential theme park and acting as the head of a martial arts school."
"So that’s why you host Public Security training exercises..."
"Exactly. Our only selling point is our technique. Any agricultural products we do manage to grow get consumed right here on the planet. The only thing we actually export is wasabi for souvenirs."
"What about building a mall?" Claire asked.
It was classic Claire—she tried to build a mall everywhere she went—but it was strange that she hadn't suggested one for a spot right next to a theme park.
"They turned us down, claiming there wasn't enough land," Melissa sighed. "I mean, look at this place. We’ve got nothing but mountains, valleys, and ravines."
I guess everyone has their own set of problems.
"Over there is the hot spring inn-style hotel."
"Does it actually have hot spring water?"
"Technically, yeah, but it's just groundwater. They just pump in carbonation to turn it into a spa."
Way to kill the fantasy.
"There's no one in the hotel either. Where could they have gone?"
"What about the castle?" I asked.
Come to think of it, they’d said they were holed up in a castle.
"There are actually two of them," Melissa said. "The Park Castle and the Administrative Center. The park one is right over there."
Dressing up the government office as a castle showed a real commitment to the bit.
Well, for now, I decided to check out the park version. We headed toward the castle together. As we walked along the road, the "period drama" aesthetic started getting increasingly unhinged. I spotted a billboard for a shooting range featuring a Blonde High-leg Ninja in fishnets firing a handgun in a Wild West style.
It seemed to be a firing range. Samurai and ninjas were nowhere to be found in the concept.
I pointed at the sign and gave Melissa a look.
"That kind of thing is weirdly popular..." she muttered. "I don't know why."
"Melissa... do you actually practice in outfits like that? It looks like... things would spill out..." Claire, being a bit of a natural airhead, asked with a look of genuine repulsion.
Melissa scratched her chin, looking embarrassed.
"The stage shows are sort of like that. They’re designed so nothing... slips. Anyway, the people on stage aren't the martial arts staff; they're professional dancers."
"Did you ever stand on that stage, Melissa?"
"When I was little. I used to get pocket money for helping with the Shuriken Throwing Show. Back then, everyone told me I was so cute and pretty..."
Ah, crap.
I’d accidentally tripped a wire I shouldn't have touched. The atmosphere turned dark instantly.
"Aha ha ha ha! 'You look like a boy,' they say! SHUT UP! I'll slaughter anyone who calls me ugly!!!"
It was a sudden explosion of remembered rage.
With Melissa still in a weird headspace, we arrived at the castle. The gate was wide open, and the interior was deserted.
"The gate of this castle is just a decoration. It’s always left open. Hmm, no one’s here either."
Melissa walked over to a shop in the lobby and pulled open a refrigerator.
"Oh, the power is still on. Here, drink up."
She handed me a glass bottle. It was Nobunaga-kun Juice Cherry Coke Flavor. I couldn't help but wonder what inspired this half-baked American fusion.
Melissa then took some food out of the fridge and popped it into a microwave. She moved with practiced ease. She must have helped herself to snacks here all the time.
"Here, have a burrito."
Kenshin-kun Burrito Mexican Jalapeno Flavor... O-oh.
"Here’s one for you too, Claire."
"Y-yeah... Um, Melissa, shouldn't a place like this serve sushi or sashimi?"
"There's a sushi bar upstairs, but it's all raw food, so it's a bit risky to eat right now."
"A sushi bar?"
"Yeah, Sushi Bar Ieyasu. It's an inbound shop for tourists. They go out of their way to order fish from the Imperial Capital. The place the locals actually go is Sushi Hisa. That one's near the other castle, and they use local ingredients. You can eat fully farmed landlocked salmon, char, or sweetfish raw there."
"The name of that tourist shop is sketchy as hell," I remarked.
"But that's what sells. Even though it tastes bad and costs a fortune. I don't get the point of shipping it all the way from the Imperial Capital. We even farm standard saltwater fish here."
It made absolutely no sense to me. But I suppose that’s just how business works.
"Well, now that we've had a bite... Hey, Fairy-san. Is anyone at the other castle?"
When Melissa asked, the Fairy answered. She was referring to the Administrative Center.
"No one's there. The boys and the Imperial Guard headed that way, but it seems to be a ghost town."
"In that case, it must be there. Captains, go back to the entrance and get in your Humanoid Fighters. I'll open the gate."
Was there some kind of hidden facility? As instructed, I returned to the entrance, boarded my Humanoid Fighter, and waited. After a short while, Melissa arrived.
"The gate's opening."
She reached into a stone lantern that had been placed conspicuously nearby.
Then, with a heavy, grinding rumble, the Great Buddha began to move. An underground tunnel appeared beneath its pedestal.
"So sketchy!"
"It’s a tourist spot, so they have to hide the genuine military facilities. They didn't want to destroy the guests' dreams, apparently. Hang on a sec while I call the cargo train."
"Roger that, Melissa. I'll call the others too."
When I contacted them, they agreed to head over immediately by transport craft. The boys and the Imperial Guard arrived almost at the same time as the cargo train.
"...What in the world is this?" Even Piggett looked bewildered.
"Yeah, they built the base inside the mountain so the tourists wouldn't see it," Melissa explained. "They said they didn't want to ruin the fantasy."
"The Blonde High-leg Kunoichi as well?"
"That’s just commercialism."
Apparently, maintaining a "dream" was hard work. Piggett made an indescribably grim face.
"I see. A Viscount Territory has many hardships..."
"If you don't get creative, the customers get bored. That's why we produce dramas and host pro-wrestling matches. If we aren't appearing on programs, the foot traffic drops in the blink of an eye."
That was a very grounded, realistic fear. Even if it was the middle of nowhere, perhaps being able to eat was its own kind of wealth.
Once the loading of the Humanoid Fighters was complete, I checked in with the flagship.
"Wifey. We're heading to the Third Castle—the military base—now."
"Understood," Veronica replied. "The Zorks are learning about humans. Their strategy might be shifting away from simple brute force. Be careful."
In the game, they’d stuck to brute force until the very end. But maybe my presence was causing a change in the Zorks... as well?