After about ten days, the pain finally subsided.
A toast to the technology that can mend even fatal wounds! Though, it did require an absurd amount of nutrients.
Considering the total restoration of both my legs, I’d had to ingest eighteen kilograms of food. Accounting for metabolic loss, that was closer to thirty kilograms...
Even eating with pure willpower, there was no way I could have hit that target.
...I’d lost a significant amount of weight.
Veronica’s meetings were hitting a wall.
They couldn’t decide on our next destination. It seemed Prince Walter and his merry band of civil officials back at the Imperial Capital were getting in the way.
Apparently, they were determined to keep her from claiming any credit for the war effort. That’s a textbook flag for losing a perfectly winnable war.
When you think about it, holding administrative power makes you nearly invincible. If the administration becomes corrupt and the officials start pursuing only their own gain, the country is doomed. I could finally understand why so many armies throughout history had staged coups.
Maybe a political system that purged its civil officials on a regular basis was actually onto something.
"Grrr!!! It’s so infuriating!"
We were in the usual briefing room. My bride was going ape, throwing a fit.
Our next deployment still hadn't been authorized.
"But you know," I said, "if they really wanted to get rid of us, they should just send us to support Big Brother Thomas."
"Only Thomas and we understand that we cannot win. Walter believes victory is certain. Right now, he is likely dreaming up ways to pull the rug out from under us once the war ends."
"The guy sounds like a total small-fry."
"If there were no war against monsters we cannot communicate with, being a small-fry would have been fine... no, even then, he would have to be killed..."
She was being quite homicidal.
But thinking about it calmly, Walter was a copy of a father who sought incest at every opportunity. If I were in her shoes, I’d want to kill him too. If he ever laid a finger on her, I’d probably punch him on reflex. I didn't have much confidence in my self-restraint.
"So, what’s the plan?"
"I am thinking! Actually, I was considering liberating planets along the path Thomas’s army took... but I am looking for a loophole so it doesn't count as a violation of orders."
Hmm. A certain face came to mind.
"Wait a second."
"What is it?"
I attempted a call. The recipient was Raymond, a lawyer who’d enjoyed a meteoric—if accidental—rise through the ranks.
Raymond picked up immediately.
"Hey, long time no see. I heard you were promoted to Captain. Congratulations."
"Has everything been alright with you, Raymond?"
"Well, you see... this is actually confidential, but the Brigadier General supporting Prince Thomas was just killed in action. And now they say I’m a Brigadier General! Everyone ranked above me is dead!"
"You’re climbing the ladder fast! Congratulations!"
"It’s not worth celebrating! A man of the law being a Brigadier General is a nightmare. I’ve basically become the king of the back office!"
"What about your superior?" I asked. I think he’d been a Senior Colonel—the head of the military's legal department. There were so many high-ranking officials that the hierarchy was incredibly subdivided.
"He's dead. He went missing during the Imperial Capital raid, but they found his body in the rubble. Since he died while trying to flee, his entire faction was essentially erased from existence..."
Was he executed? The military was turning into a hellscape too.
"Naturally, since my house rank isn't high enough, I probably won't be promoted any further. I'll likely be relieved of my duties once the war is over. I'll just endure until then."
"I feel bad for asking while you're in such a tough spot, but..."
"Eh? What is it? You're scaring me."
"We're being forced to wait because civil officials are interfering. I was wondering if there were any legal loopholes."
"Is that all? In that case, should I issue the orders? I am a lawyer and a Brigadier General, after all. I'm quite good at fighting civil officials."
"Whoa! Thanks! Veronica, Raymond says he can issue the orders! Where should we go?"
Her eyes sparkled.
"Let me see... I do not want the civil officials to notice. Raymond, order us to clean up after Thomas. Command us to recover debris along the route his army advanced through."
"Ah, so we’ll make it look like you 'accidentally' liberated planets during the recovery. Yeah, I get it. I'll make sure as little information as possible leaks out from this end. Your Highness, Leo, our comrades want to repay the debt for recapturing the Imperial Capital. We'll cooperate as much as we can—though we aren't much of a fighting force."
"Thanks a bunch!"
"Right. I'll draft the paperwork. Give me about three days."
It was a saving grace. It might even be possible to catch up with Thomas now.
Raymond said his goodbyes and ended the call.
"It pays to have a skilled lawyer on your side."
"I am constantly amazed by your immense good luck, Lord Groom."
"Maybe it's Jester's ability... No, that’s probably pushing it."
"Kah-kah-kah! Well then, I shall contact Elder Brother Thomas."
"Are you sure you aren't being wiretapped? Is it safe?"
"I have my ways. Leave it to me."
And so, I parted ways with my bride and headed back to my room.
Melissa, Ren, Claire, and even Kevin were already there. They seemed to have nothing better to do, so they were baking sweets.
"Oh, you're back. We borrowed your oven-microwave."
My room was slightly larger than average, so it came with a microwave-oven combo. Being an officer’s room, it was probably meant for people who missed meals due to long meetings. Naturally, the girls with free time had come to commandeer it.
I was already the man whose fetishes had been broadcast to the entire world. At this point, there was nothing they could see that would bother me. Bring it on.
"Here, a bribe," Claire said, offering me a cookie.
"Thanks."
I popped the square cookie into my mouth. It was actually quite good.
"This is great!"
"I was so bored without any work, so I’ve been learning to cook from Claire. Here, try a prototype."
Melissa handed me a cookie, her face flushing slightly.
"Much obliged. Nom. This is delicious!"
"Ahaha! Maybe I have a knack for cooking!"
"Master. Mine as well."
"Thank you. It’s yummy!"
"Ehehe."
Finally, Kevin stepped up.
"Here."
I expected the cliché charred-black failure, but what he handed me was incredibly polished. I’d thought this for a while, but maybe it really was a mistake that Kevin had started out as a man...
"Thanks! These are professional quality."
"I used to work part-time at a sweets shop."
Wait. The timeline didn't add up. You weren't allowed to have part-time jobs at the Officer Academy.
"A part-time job?"
"Oh, before I entered the academy. On the colony, earning your own keep was just a fact of life."
"O-Oh..."
I was honestly a bit taken aback. I’d have to talk to Veronica about that later. I really had been blessed... I truly felt that way.
After that, I told them that our departure date would likely be set soon. Once we had a clear goal, the air in the room felt a bit more focused.
As for the cookies, we ended up distributing them to the other girls, the Imperial Guard, the university and graduate students, and the general soldiers.
The idiot boys? They could spend their time regretting their choices.