I spent about an hour reading through the texts and jotting down a summary in my notebook.
I really need to hire a judge for the territory later, I thought. My basic legal knowledge was simply failing me.
"Have you reached a decision yet, Lord Groom?" my wife asked, tapping her finger impatiently on the desk.
I really wished she’d stop pressuring me like that.
"More or less."
"Hoh. Baron Ohno, what do you think?"
"I believe Lord Leo is still quite green as a lord. We should support him regardless of how dreadful his proposal is. It will serve as a fine learning experience for him."
Wow, how sarcastic.
Still, the point of this exercise was clearly to let me gain some experience. His subtext was painfully obvious: Hurry up and get on with it, brat! We know you won't come up with anything decent anyway!
To think they had such low expectations.
"Well... for the acts of piracy, it’s the death penalty for everyone."
"Oh? That’s harsher than I expected, Lord Groom. I was certain you’d show them some mercy."
I was well aware that I tended to be abnormally soft on people. I’d let Kevin off the hook, and I couldn't even bring myself to kill the Emperor directly, despite how much I told him to die.
That was exactly why I’d thought this through properly this time!
"However, the death sentences will carry a five-year stay of execution. Their actual crime was minor—they only damaged a door. As for the space navigation violations, I’m giving them the maximum penalty of ten years’ imprisonment. They seem experienced, so this likely wasn't their first offense; therefore, no stay of execution for that part. Imprisonment—which is to say, forced labor—will prioritize military service. At worst, they can be used as Zork shields. Any murders or escape attempts will result in immediate execution. I’ll leave the rest to you, Baron Ohno."
Thank goodness Imperial Law allowed for stays of execution even on death sentences.
"There’s my judgment," I said.
My wife’s eyes went wide. Even Ohno looked surprised.
"What?"
"...I fully expected you to present some overly soft, idealistic garbage. But you’ve actually hit a fairly reasonable mark."
"Just what is your evaluation of me, Wifey-chan?"
"You didn’t kill Kevin, but you didn't make her your woman, either. You are a disappointing man who mistakes kindness for indecisiveness, despite possessing extraordinary abilities."
"The verbal blades of my beloved wife have left me at death’s door..."
"Now, now, young man. Her Highness is just saying that she loves how kind you are. It’s because she loves you that she wants to raise you—gebuagh!"
My wife’s elbow buried itself deep into Ohno’s side.
See? Wifey-chan was at her most dangerous when she was embarrassed.
"Shut up! What’s wrong with liking my own groom?! Stop teasing me!" she barked, pouting with a huff.
"Now, now, did you hear that, Ma’am? 'What’s wrong with liking my groom,' she says!"
"Baron Ohno, please, just stop. Wifey-chan has started grinding her teeth. She’s on the verge of snapping."
She had the face of a literal wild beast. Stop it already! I’m the one she’s going to take it out on later!
"Alright, alright. But seriously, I’ve gained a new respect for you today. As expected of the hero, Leo Kamishiro."
Immediately, my wife’s mood brightened, and she let out a proud "Hmph." She really was a good wife.
"So, what should we do with the pirate ship?" she asked.
"We don't need it, do we? A piece of junk like that."
"True. What about you, Ohno?"
"I would be most grateful for the ship."
And so, the pirate ship became Ohno’s. I didn't want the thing anyway.
Now, before writing the report, I double-checked their statements. It seemed they’d seen the space storm as their chance to strike while we were on Planet Shiramber. They never imagined we’d make it back before the storm actually hit. The fact that they were monitoring military movements suggested they were seasoned pros, even if I lacked the evidence to prove it.
I didn't know if they’d end up as Zork bait or not, but I hoped they’d turn into decent people while serving in the military. Though they’d probably be beaten several times more than we were back during our Junior Academy days...
Then again, the habit of stealing is hard to cure.
With the report submitted, the trial concluded. We returned to the hotel. The space storm was still raging, and the gravity remained unstable.
In the hotel, the other students were killing time in the arcade. With the cleanup finished, it seemed they were bored out of their minds.
"Whoops, His Excellency the Marquis has returned," one of the boys called out.
"Cut the sarcasm."
"Hehe, sorry. But seriously, Leo, the accuracy of your intuition is getting terrifying, isn't it? Are you holding up okay?"
"Huh? What do you mean?"
As I tilted my head in confusion, Kevin walked over to explain.
"Your ESP. Even if it's always active, a power that strong has to be a drain on your mental energy, right? Aren't you exhausted?"
"Eh? No, not at all. As long as I eat a mountain of food, I don't feel any fatigue the next day."
"Just how much stamina do you have?!"
"Look, it's not an ability I use on purpose! Maybe the energy consumption is zero?"
"No, no, no, that’s impossible! There’s no way a powerful ability like that has zero cost!"
"Really...?"
Was it even that powerful? It just felt like a "shiver" or a "haze" in my mind. The rest was just me making my own calls.
"They say ESP is so inefficient that it's practically useless, which is why it's not prioritized. If it were actually helpful, the Officer Academy would have established an Esper preferential quota ages ago!"
"I see."
I felt completely detached from the conversation. After all, I hadn't even known I was an Esper until recently. Same went for being a Jester.
And I absolutely didn't buy the theory that I was some kind of trump card. I’m telling you, I’m not that strong. Every single fight is a close call!
"Well, whatever. It’s probably for the best that you stay the way you are, Leo-kun."
"More importantly... aren't you guys getting a bit too friendly with Kevin?" I asked. Their eyes were glued to her chest.
The boys muttered back with bloodshot eyes. "As long as there are boobs..."
"Get a grip. He’s a man on the inside."
"But Kevin is the only girl who’s actually nice to us!"
"That’s your own fault for holding that Ugly Contest! Go apologize to the girls!"
"Shut up! You popular bastard!"
So that’s why Kevin was doing this princess play...
Kevin seemed to be having a good time playing games with the guys. The boys, meanwhile, were looking at her with total heart-eyes. Is that really okay, you guys?
The girls, for their part, were surprisingly supportive of the arrangement; they figured it was better to push the trashy boys onto Kevin than to have to deal with them themselves. Kevin didn't seem isolated among the girls, either.
Though the girls themselves were completely cut off from the boys.
As for the girls making a move on me... I’d hoped for it a little, but no. That was thanks to Wifey-chan’s immense popularity. She now commanded the room with the dignity of a representative for all the girls.
And so, we waited for the space storm to pass.
...Wait. Why are my wife and I the only ones swamped with work? We haven't rested at all!