I headed outside in my Jester-exclusive machine.
Roller dashing was useless in the desert because the sand would just clog the mechanisms, so I had equipped the unit with ski-like attachments. Even though they looked like skis, they were actually continuous tracks, essentially turning me into a tank. I glided over the dunes and rough terrain with ease.
The plan was simple.
I, the best pilot at evasion, would go out alone. I would run like my life depended on it to the quarry’s surface control room and activate the barrier. Once the area was secure, we could explore at our leisure.
There was no real strategy to speak of—it was just the usual reckless routine!
“I truly hate plans that rely so heavily on my Lord Groom... but it is the safest option. I’m counting on you!”
If my wife was going to put it like that, I didn't have much of a choice. I’d be back in a jiffy.
I dashed out into the wastes.
Now, about these continuous track skis. You might wonder, Why don't you use them all the time? The reason was actually quite simple: you’d wipe out. It was much easier to lose your balance on these than on a motorcycle. On rough roads or shifting sand, the probability of a crash skyrocketed.
For some reason, I never seemed to wipe out, though... I wondered why.
While pondering that mystery, I raced across the desert. As I sped along, my sixth sense pinged, and I threw the machine into an immediate evasive maneuver.
“Why are we turning?! Wahhhh!”
A giant bobbit worm erupted from the sand exactly where I had been a second ago. A scream rose from Claire in the back of the two-seater. A creature that size could probably swallow this machine in a single gulp.
Still, dodging danger thanks to a literal ping in my head made me feel like I’d already stepped into the realm of the non-human.
Looking back, I saw the bobbit worm had a crab-chan Zork clamped in its fangs. Oh boy. Even the Zork were nothing more than prey here. If I released one of those worms in the Imperial Capital... No, it wouldn't matter even if the population were halved; they couldn't handle it.
Next, a swarm of rays came flying at us. I raced through the middle of the school on my continuous track skis. The rays didn't seem interested in me, though. They didn't even try to take a nibble. They probably just hated the taste of cold, hard metal.
“It’s beautiful...” Claire whispered.
She was right. It really was beautiful. You felt that beauty especially after growing accustomed to a place like the Imperial Capital, which was nothing but a suffocating sprawl of man-made structures. Half-baked development like what we had on Planet Kamishiro was out of the question. This was truly untouched nature.
Of course, because it was nature in its rawest form, any invasive species—like humans—would die out here in heartbeats.
The quarry was massive. This was how a real facility was supposed to look! My home planet's version was just pathetic by comparison.
The quarry control room finally came into view. At the same time, a literal wave of sand surged toward us.
“There are waves even though it's sand...?”
“It looks like sand, but it's a fluid containing moisture—Wait, that’s not the point! What are you going to do?!”
“I’m going to slide.”
I hit the wave of sand and started carving. Whoo-hoo! It felt just like surfing, even if I was on skis. I reached the crest of the wave and jumped. I gracefully sailed over a bobbit worm that lunged out of the surf.
Hey-hey!
I slid down the other side with momentum to spare.
“H-He’s actually enjoying this...”
No, I was just being desperate. When the environment is this extreme, you either laugh or you cry.
As I slid, scorpions started falling out of the sand above us. They hit the ground and immediately scuttled toward the machine. I could tell we were being targeted. I waited until the last possible second to dodge their venomous stingers, slipping past them with room to spare.
“Hey-hey! Scorpion-chan, are you watching?!”
Who said an introverted loner couldn't move?! I’m an introverted loner who can hustle!
“Hey, stop taunting them!”
“Yes, ma'am.”
We reached the control room. It wasn't just a shack; it was a reinforced building that looked more like a sturdy warehouse. Claire and I climbed out of the humanoid fighter and headed inside to attempt a barrier restart.
“Searching for fuses... must be a horror game~♪”
“Leo... seriously, stop.”
She scolded me.
I flipped the switch for the generator. It hummed to life without a hitch. Next was the barrier system...
Wait, what?
It was locked by software and wouldn't open. I searched the room, but there were no physical keys or software bypasses to be found. How was I supposed to unlock this? No matter how I looked at it, the previous occupants had made sure it couldn't be easily reset.
In times like this, it had to be Fairy-chan.
“Fairy-chan, can you do something about this?”
When I called her name, Fairy-chan appeared, but she was sitting on the floor in a ball, poking the ground with her finger. How annoying.
“Leo-kun, you haven't played with me lately. Fairy-chan is very, very sad.”
This AI... she was sulking!
Oh, look at that—she’d started drawing a mouse on the floor with her digital tears. Was she doing a bit on Sesshu drawing mice with his tears? So annoying! Fairy-chan’s niche references were always so hard to get.
While retorting in my head, I reflected on my recent behavior. Come to think of it, I’d been so busy with preparations that I hadn't even played VR games with her lately.
“I’m bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored~!!!”
Well, Fairy-chan wasn't exactly a general-purpose AI; she was meant for missions. I only used her when I was deployed. Apparently, she spent her free time hanging out with the girls... but now that I thought about it, I didn't actually know much about her daily life.
“Let’s play more games! Taunting Leo-kun while he played was my only joy in life!”
“That’s way too malicious!”
“Sniping you so you’d come in dead last was the best part~”
“It was you?! You bastard! How dare you headshot me over and over again!”
It had been her all along! I’d been wondering why I was dying so frequently in matches!
“But I wanted to see Leo-kun's crying face!”
“Why you...! Hey!”
“Both of you! Stop playing around!”
“Yes, ma'am.”
Rebuked by Claire, Fairy-chan finally got to work.
“It was being blocked by a remote lockout, so I cleared it~”
The barrier deployed instantly. Outside, the creatures in the sand scrambled to escape the shimmering field. It seemed the barrier was specifically designed to repel biological life. That made sense for this planet.
“Phew... Now we can breathe a sigh of relief.”
I let out a heavy sigh and prepared to take a rest. Or so I thought, until a voice crackled through the speakers in the control room.
“You idiot! Don't turn on the barrier's power!”
It was an old man's voice. Who was it? Someone still inside the facility? It seemed the communications here were hardwired. That made sense, since wireless was a no-go on this planet. I turned on the station’s microphone.
“This is Imperial Princess Veronica's Fleet. We've come to rescue you.”
“Gah! The military?! The crabs are going to come! Turn off the barrier power right now!”
“Huh?”
What was he talking about? If I didn't turn on the barrier, the rest of the rescue force wouldn't be able to land.
However, the situation took a sudden, violent turn.
“Leo! Look!” Claire shouted.
I checked the drone feed outside. A massive swarm of crabs was scuttling straight toward us.