My wife had actually come for me!
Though, there was no guarantee she even realized I was on this train.
Like hell I’m letting you shoot us down!
I continued to blast the monsters out of the sky with the battery’s beam cannons.
"I’m not dying here!"
"I’m not afraid of you bastards!" (I was, in fact, terrified.)
But the numbers were overwhelmingly against me.
A few I failed to pick off managed to fly through the barrage. One dove from the sky in a straight line, slamming directly into the turret where I was stationed.
There was a sickening crack as the battery's armor buckled inward. The flying-type Zork splattered its fluids everywhere before tumbling away.
"Phew... still alive."
I exhaled and tried to rotate the turret again—Gagagagaga! No way!
The gears must have slipped or sheared off. Regardless of the cause, the turret refused to budge.
You’ve got to be kidding me!
You’ve got to be kidding me!
You’ve got to be kidding me!
I couldn't aim!
In the meantime, more flying-types were slamming into the carriage with heavy thuds.
...Hm? Wait. Slamming?
The impacts felt weak. They could probably eventually breach the train’s armor, but something felt off.
At that moment, my mind went ice-cold and calm. I spotted a yellow individual among the flying-type Zorks ramming the train.
"So that’s the trick!"
I scrambled out of the turret as fast as I could.
A massive boom shook the carriage.
A high-pitched ringing filled my ears.
Ah, dammit! Those bastards are self-destructing!
They’d lulled me into a false sense of security by making me think they were just ramming us, only to sneak a suicide-type into the mix!
Ah, hell! I’m going to kill every last one of you!
The ceiling was torn open, exposing the sky above. A soldier lay nearby, a jagged fragment of the roof impaled in his back. An assault rifle—a ballistic weapon—lay right beside him.
I snatched it up.
A flying-type descended through the gap. I squeezed the trigger.
The flying-types were soft; the bullet tore right through it in a single shot.
My hearing was still messed up. I staggered my way into the next carriage.
This lifestyle was seriously bad for my health.
"Dammit, I’ll kill you all."
My vocabulary had reached a state of total poverty. "I'll kill you" was the only thing left on my mental conversation table.
Between the ringing in my ears and my sense of balance being shot, I could barely stay upright. I finally reached the next carriage, and it was a scene from hell.
The train's walls had already been breached. The soldiers inside were being overrun, slaughtered by the flying-types. They simply didn't have enough combat experience!
"I’ll kill you!"
I squeezed the words out through my throbbing brain and began picking off the flying-types inside the carriage.
One, two, three... four!
I dropped them one after another.
A soldier who had been seconds away from being devoured noticed me and cried out.
"L-Leo! Leo Kamishiro is here! Hey! The Zork-slaying Hero is here!"
Something warm and viscous trickled from my right ear. Wait, was that my eardrum? Every time they cheered, the ringing in my head spiked into a sharp pain.
"The next wave is coming!" I barked.
I shot down a Zork as it flew in from the gap. Seeing me, the soldiers scrambled to resume the fight.
I dropped a few more. The rifle felt light; I was running low on ammo. I grabbed a fresh magazine from a nearby ammunition box and reloaded.
I continued toward the rear carriages, slaughtering every flying-type in my path. Cheers of praise followed in my wake.
"Leo! Leo! Leo! Leo! Leo!"
Sorry, guys. My ears seriously hurt, so... if you could dial it back a bit...
The carriage further back was meant for cargo containers. However, the "cargo" wasn't supplies—it was people.
The walls were thicker here, and it hadn't been attacked yet. It seemed the Zorks hadn't targeted it, perhaps because they didn't perceive it as a threat.
I found the civilians inside.
"Leo-kun!"
Kevin came running over, his generous chest swaying with every step.
"Wait! You’re bleeding! Your ears are bleeding!"
I figured the eardrums were gone.
"I’ll treat you with nanomachines, so sit down right there!"
He forced me onto the floor. Looking around, I saw soldiers receiving treatment all over the place. My vision was starting to get blurry, too.
"Gyaa! There’s blood in your eyes!"
I thought my eyes were just stinging; turns out it was blood. Kevin washed them out with water.
"I’m giving you the injection now!"
A syringe was jabbed into my neck, pumping nanomachines into my system.
"Rest until the nanomachines stabilize!"
I dazed out for a moment. My ears were throbbing in time with my heartbeat.
What happened to my wife?
"Kevin, what’s my wife doing?"
"They're broadcasting the feed now! Be a good boy and watch."
I was being treated like a toddler. Hey, Kevin-kun, don't you think you're a little too suited for the role of a nurse?
While that thought crossed my mind, I turned my attention to the broadcast on the terminal.
The Imperial Guard battleship had launched from the Palace and was currently confronting a massive Zork.
A battleship-type Zork.
It was several times larger than Veronica's ship. It was unleashing a relentless, indiscriminate barrage of attacks.
Veronica's battleship returned fire with its beam cannons. It seemed the enemy was vulnerable to beam weaponry, but the size difference was simply too vast. Her attacks were doing little more than scarring the creature's surface.
The battleship-type Zork completely ignored my wife, seemingly focused only on the joy of destruction.
She's definitely fuming right about now, I thought.
I decided I’d avoid getting close to her for a while. If I did, she’d probably make me strap on a vernier and charge the thing.
"Lord Groom! Where are you!?"
Welp, break time was over.
"Hiiiii. Wifey-chan, I’m on the train right now~."
"Get to the Palace at once! We shall equip you with verniers, have you charge in, and destroy that thing from the inside!"
"I knew you'd say thaaaaat!"
"Fu, fuhahahahahahaha! Do not underestimate humanity!"
She had definitely snapped. Even Kevin looked exasperated.
"Her Highness... she’s making unreasonable demands as usual..."
"Kevin... want to run away with me?"
To be clear, I wasn't asking for Kevin-the-woman. No thank you. I was just lonely.
"No way. If I stay with Leo, I never know when I might die."
"You're right about that!"
"Setting that aside, what are you going to do?"
"Well, I’m going, obviously! If it’s for my wifey-chan, I’ll get it done!"
As I spoke, I realized the bleeding had stopped and my sense of balance had returned. I slung the assault rifle over my shoulder and headed back to the hunt.
When I returned to the previous carriage, the soldiers had... changed. They were brave now.
"We have Massacre Leo on our side! We aren’t afraid of you bastards!"
"Hyah-ha! Kill all the aliens!"
"Gyahahaha!"
Their energy was bizarre. But with their fear seemingly dead, the tide of battle had turned overwhelmingly in our favor.
Was this the Jester's Ability? Was it really okay for it to work like this?
"Ora ora ora! Come and get some!"
They were picking off the flying-types one after another. Do they even need me anymore?
I’d vaguely figured out the Zorks' weakness by now. There was a vital core in the center; hit that, and they died in one shot. In a situation like this, ballistic weaponry was truly a godsend.
As we fought, the Palace finally came into view.
It looked like we had managed to survive.