I ate at the vending machine food court.
I started with a yakiniku bowl, but it didn't look like it would be enough, so I decided I’d order another one later. Kevin—who was still very much a man on the inside—was also digging into a yakiniku bowl. I wasn’t about to let any nonsense like “I have a small appetite” slide.
While we, the truly famished, were wolfing down our food with zero manners, an old man approached us.
“Hey, you want some barley tea?”
“Thanks!”
He was a dark, sun-tanned man with short-cropped hair that had gone mostly white. He was dressed in a full work uniform, steel-toed boots, and heavy-duty gloves. I figured he was one of Takahashi’s associates.
“I’m Leo,” I said.
“Ho, I’m Suzuki. I run Suzuki Construction.”
He used the word gumi, but he wasn't Yakuza—just the president of a construction company. He was definitely Takahashi’s boss.
“This is Kate,” I said, introducing Kevin. “Our comrades left us behind, so we’ve been trying to make it to the Palace.”
It was way too much trouble to explain that "Kate" was actually a former Zork spy.
“Why would they leave a famous captain like you behind?” Suzuki asked.
“I got into a fight and ended up in the brig, so I was late getting out when the evacuation started. This one came to mock me while I was locked up and ended up getting caught in the crossfire...”
“Bwah-ha-ha-ha! You’re a riot, kid!”
“There seems to be a type of Zork that amplifies human irritation,” I explained. “Before I knew it, those things were scared out of their wits and came charging at the airport.”
As I said it, it hit me. They had attacked because I had noticed them. In other words, there must have been a traitor among them—a humanoid Zork like Kevin. However, there were so many people at the scene that identifying the culprit would be impossible. Those things were definitely monitoring me. Though, they probably weren't watching right at this moment. Besides, I didn't think Kevin would betray me; he had absolutely nothing to gain from it now.
“Ga-ha-ha-ha! The Zorks were scared, you say? That’s a good one! By the way, kid, is it true you actually make people that irritated?”
“Yeah. I once got lynched by four of my classmates because of it.”
“Oh, that’s... certainly... intense...”
“I beat them all back, though.”
“Pffft! Kid, you’re hilarious!”
“I’ve at least got physical strength going for me.”
I struck a “side chest” pose with a glint in my teeth. Since I was in the military, my physique was built for endurance rather than being pure muscle, but it did the trick.
“Gahahaha! Takahashi! You picked up a real winner this time!”
He loved it. Then, the old man’s face suddenly turned serious.
“An evacuation train should be arriving soon. I’ll let them know I found you guys. Just take it easy for now.”
“Thanks, boss!”
“Don’t mention it. Honestly, I always thought nobles were a nasty bunch, but I guess that’s not always the case.”
“At our scale, we’re basically just the village mayors of some backwater planet.”
There was nothing about me that justified acting important. My bride was the only one who actually had real status, and that didn't rub off on me. Acting arrogant would have just been embarrassing.
“Well then, see you later.”
Old man Suzuki headed off. We finished our meal and even helped ourselves to dessert. The frozen food vending machines belonged to the railway company, and since there was no way for them to collect the money now, no one was going to complain if we ate the place bare.
After waiting a while, an announcement echoed through the station. It was Suzuki’s gravelly voice.
“The military train is here! Everyone gather at Platform 1!”
“Shall we?”
I tossed our trash and headed to the platform with Kevin. The area was swarming with soldiers.
“Leo Kamishiro, Imperial Princess Veronica’s Personal Guard!”
I snapped a salute. Technically, we were just a student circle using the name of a subordinate organization of the Imperial Guard. It was essentially meaningless. In other words, the regular soldiers were higher-ranking than us. I made sure to act as humble as possible. I was getting on that train no matter what. I was ready to lick their boots if that’s what it took.
Pride? I didn't have any of that left. My bride’s life was far more important.
“L-Leo?! The Leo Kamishiro?!”
“The one and only,” I replied. “Though in reality, I’m just a brat with a lot of good luck.”
“I-I’ll contact headquarters! Please board and wait!”
For some reason, they were incredibly courteous. A soldier roughly my age guided us to a seat. It was a military transport, so instead of commuter benches, it had individual seats. Since it wasn't for civilians, there was no first-class car, though there seemed to be a private room for commanders. Our seats were in the section for soldiers.
Half of the civilians had been relegated to the cargo hold. I felt bad for them, but the train was configured this way so the soldiers could deploy immediately if we hit combat.
Ten minutes later, another announcement played.
“The Special Evacuation Train is now departing.”
With a series of beeps, the doors hissed shut. The train was packed. We began moving, albeit at a cautious, reduced speed.
“Looks like a bigwig is coming,” Kevin noted.
A middle-aged officer approached us. He held the rank of Major, but he lacked any sort of intimidating aura.
“Hello there. I’m Raymond, the commander of this transport. My rank is Major, but I’m actually a lawyer by trade. I’m not anyone special, so please, just treat me normally.”
Raymond took an empty seat near us.
“Haaaaaa... I’m at a total loss. They made me the commander here just because of my rank, but honestly, I don’t know the first thing about any of this. I’ve never seen actual combat. I only joined the military to pay off my student loans, and I was finally about to finish my term and retire...”
“Thank you for your service,” I said.
Raymond was essentially living my ideal future, so I felt nothing but genuine sympathy for him.
“Leo-kun, I heard you’re aspiring to be a lawyer yourself.”
I had submitted my career preferences a few times. That said, half the idiots in my class wrote things like “Actor” or “Professional Fisherman” despite being enrolled in an Officer Academy.
“I’ve always admired those in special positions. The fact that it doesn't involve getting hurt is a major plus.”
“Really? I’d think you should be aiming for the top of the military. Whenever I look at you, I feel oddly... brave, for some reason.”
That’s almost entirely an illusion caused by Jester’s Ability, I thought.
“You see, these past few days have made me realize that command just isn't for me,” Raymond said, holding his head in his hands. “I’m sick of it. As soon as this is over, I’m quitting the military to become a civilian lawyer...”
I felt that in my soul. I’d also been reminded recently that I was no strategist.
“I totally get it!”
“Oh! You understand me! My friend!”
It was the start of an intensely smothering friendship.
“Well then, this train is headed for Palace-mae Station. Once I report in, word will likely reach Her Highness’s ears. When the war is over, you’ll have to introduce me to her. You can leave all the legal matters to me!”
He was one of those guys—someone who seemed like they would be incredibly useful in the future, yet was completely useless right now. He was clearly brilliant, he just had zero talent for the military.
The train rattled along. There was no sign of the Zorks.
I don’t know why, but the fact that we were actually going to arrive safely made me feel more uneasy than ever.