Until just a few hours ago, I wasn't even being treated as a human being.
Between the drugs the AI had forcibly injected into me and that mental probing, I’d come dangerously close to becoming a vegetable. I spent hours staring at a rainbow-colored unicorn that wouldn't go away.
I really thought I was going to die.
Fortunately, between the neutralizing agents and the nanomachines, I managed to survive. In fact, I was fully recovered in half a day. This world’s medical technology is just plain terrifying.
After being discharged from the hospital, I was escorted to the administration building, where Ren and Marma were waiting to greet me.
"Lord Kamishiro! Congratulations on your recovery!" Marma greeted me energetically. She had clearly practiced that; what a good girl.
Ren, meanwhile, was dressed in a formal gown.
"Lady Marma, Lady Ren. Congratulations on the victory."
This part was just for show. There were cameras rolling, after all. Once we entered the office, however, things became private.
"I don't waaaaant to be the Lord!" Ren groaned, stretching out as she sank into an expensive-looking sofa.
Lady Marma helped herself to some sweets on the table. We’d reached a point where we didn't feel the need to stand on ceremony with each other anymore. My wife was absent from this meeting, unfortunately, due to her broken bone.
Ren nibbled on a snack as she pulled up a file in augmented reality. The contents were mirrored on my display as well.
The title was: [Regarding the Ownership of the Linear Blazer].
I didn't want it.
"Personally, I’d prefer if you just scrapped it—AI and all."
"Leo, that's impossible," Ren replied. "The Linear Blazer is already being hailed as the guardian deity that saved Planet Mistral."
The machine itself wasn't the problem. It was that absolute piece-of-shit AI that I refused to forgive.
"Can't I at least murder the AI...?" I’d delete that rotten bastard of a program even if it was the last thing I ever did.
"Veronica-chan said 'No,'" Ren said flatly.
"Ngh! Are you telling me I’m not even allowed my revenge?!"
Well, if my wife said so, I had no choice but to obey.
"So, about the Linear Blazer..." Marma said, steering us back to the topic that hadn't progressed a single millimeter.
"Just keep it," I said. "It’s not like I can take it with me."
The Linear Blazer was simply too massive. It wouldn't fit in a destroyer, and towing it was out of the question. Which left us with only one option: leaving it behind.
We had to head for the Capital Planet. We were going to liberate the heart of the Empire and save everyone’s families. I’m a man who keeps his promises, and I didn't need a "Romance Weapon" for that journey. More accurately, I couldn't bring it even if I wanted to. Even if we had a space carrier, nobody would go through the trouble of transporting something that impractical.
"Thank you. Sister, let’s put the Linear Blazer on display in the Great Hall."
With that, the Linear Blazer issue was finally settled. The rest of the agenda was strictly business—logistics regarding the delivery and selection of food, water, and other supplies. These were already finalized, so I just did a quick confirmation of the details.
"Huh, you’re giving us natural soil bacteria?"
"Well... you did strip quite a lot of the land bare with the Linear Blazer," Ren noted.
"...Sorry."
The collateral damage was so astronomical that there was no way I could ever hope to pay for it.
"It’s fine," Ren shrugged. "Land restoration makes for a perfect public works project for the reconstruction."
"Right. So, Ren, what are you going to do now?"
"What do you mean? I’m staying on the ship, obviously." Her beast ears twitched. She looked genuinely perplexed by the question.
"But what about this planet?"
"I’ll leave that to Marma and my mother. I was never educated to be a successor anyway. I think I’ll be much more useful in the maintenance squad."
"I see. Glad to have you."
Engineers capable of maintaining military-grade machines were rare. The maintenance squad was currently suffering from a severe labor shortage, so having Ren around was a godsend. Besides, she could double as an operator.
"Oh, but please spare me the 'mistress' role."
"Ahaha! That was all my wife’s doing!"
I hadn't been the one to scream, "Give me a harem!" This was entirely a conspiracy.
"If you actually want me, you'll have to court me properly."
"Wait, what?"
"Hehehehe."
That laugh felt uncomfortably meaningful.
Once the meeting concluded, I went to help with the loading. As a student non-engineer, the only thing I was expected to contribute to the effort was manual labor. I spent my time moving cargo with a forklift.
Leo—the original Leo—had obtained a ridiculous number of certifications. He must have really hated the idea of going back to his hometown. He’d clearly been preparing to survive in the Imperial Capital even if the military kicked him out.
After finishing with the cargo, I switched over to a humanoid heavy machine to transport ammunition and other heavy ordnance.
"Yo, ammo delivery!" I called out to the guys as I dropped off a load.
"Guh... is this the smug composure of the Harem King?!"
"You devil! Mocking us 'have-nots' while you bask in glory!"
"What did I even do to you guys?" I asked.
It was all their own fault, wasn't it? Seriously, they needed to give it a rest.
"You dared to steal everyone's Melissa!"
"You're only hated because you idiots held that 'Ugly Contest' in the first place! Morons!"
"Waaaaah! Is this our fate? To be exploited by the elite forever?!"
"Stop playing the victim!"
Besides, it wasn't like she belonged to them anyway.
"You know as well as I do that when three guys get together, they turn into idiots! It was just a momentary lapse in judgment!"
"That was way too high-effort for a 'momentary lapse'! Think about how Melissa feels, you blockheads!"
"If I have any advice for you... stay virgins for life! Losers!"
"Waaaaaaaaah!"
Evil had been vanquished. Putting them in their place felt incredibly cathartic.
Next, I moved on to deliver ammunition to the girls' side.
"Oh, it's Leo-kun."
"Ammunition delivery!"
"Geez, I'm going to tell Veronica-chan on you~"
"This isn't cheating, I swear~"
"Kyaa~!"
I dropped off the crates while engaging in some mindless banter. I’d expected the girls to hate me for making Melissa my mistress, but it seemed to have had the opposite effect. I guess being good-looking really does solve everything.
"So, tell us, who's the favorite?"
"My wife, obviously. We’re legally married."
"No way! He didn't even hesitate!"
The girls seemed to love that. They were practically squealing.
"Hey, hey, what about Ren?"
"She told me I have to court her if I want her to be my mistress."
"Shut up!! No way!!"
They were having a field day with this. Girls really do love their gossip. However, as I watched them with a lukewarm expression, the mood suddenly shifted.
"But man... I really want a boyfriend..."
"We don't even know when we might die..."
"I wish I’d at least had one boyfriend before the end..."
"Cut it out," I interrupted. "Stop with the gloomy talk."
"Oh, come on..."
"You aren't going to die. I’ve stared death in the face plenty of times and I’m still standing, aren't I? You guys will be fine too."
"Ahaha. When Leo-kun says it, it actually sounds believable."
"Besides, once we liberate the Imperial Capital, you’ll all be heroes. You’ll have your pick of any man you want."
"Hahaha! You’re right. Okay, let’s do this!"
The final battle was approaching. I had to make sure I brought every single one of them back alive.