The Imperial Guard arrived quite late, well after the fact.
“We came to rescue the Lord Groom because an anomaly appeared in his adrenaline levels, but… it seems you have bagged a big one…”
Even the seasoned veterans of the Imperial Guard looked a bit put off.
Look, the reason I had resorted to Satsuma Martial Arts in the first place was entirely the Guard’s fault. They were the ones who had beaten me to a pulp during sparring.
There was no way a last-minute effort was ever going to work against someone like Melissa, who had been swinging a wooden sword since she was three. I had only been practicing with a straight sword for two and a half years myself. It was only natural that I’d get thrashed by her, and just as natural that the old guys would wipe the floor with me too.
Because of that, relying on a strategy based on pure, raw strength was the only logical path forward. I lost horribly when I lost, but my win rate remained high. It seemed I had a bit of a knack for being a “throw character.”
My move list consisted of nothing but Charge and Command Throw. (My ESP was basically just a taunt slot). That was the honest reality of my current specs.
“Was it a good thing that we made him run so much, I wonder…?”
Please stop questioning your life choices through me, I thought. I don’t know the answer either.
“I’ll record in the logs that ‘Claire was the one who finished it off,’” I said.
“Hey, what are you trying to pull under the cover of the confusion?”
Claire arrived, piloting her Humanoid Heavy Machinery. One of the machine's arms had been completely torn off. As expected, the recoil of an anti-materiel rifle was simply too much for a piece of heavy equipment to handle.
“Because! If I’m the one who gets credit for the kill, my wife is definitely going to say, ‘Raise your VR fighting game rank and let’s do some online matches!’ I’m sick of being continuously trampled by Melissa and my wife! Someone, please, just give me a pity match!”
When you can’t bridge the gap in technique with raw power, you just end up getting one-sidedly beat down! It’s miserable!
“I’m more surprised the online service is even still running in this state!” Claire shouted back.
“The only people left playing are the hardcore addicts! They’re way too strong! All of them!”
The only ones remaining in those games were pro-gamers and their merry band of associates. And both Melissa and my wife were ranked at the very top of that food chain. Especially Melissa! She started playing after I did, yet her rank was already miles above mine!
After some work, the Imperial Guard began hauling the parasite away.
“Do we even have a zoologist on the team?” I asked.
“They said they’re going to freeze it and hand it over to researchers later,” Claire answered, sounding convinced. Apparently, they were preserving the titans as well.
“Her Highness says that, as of right now, we’re the ones who have encountered the most new species.”
To be more precise, we were probably “the ones who encountered new types and actually survived.”
While I was feeling a chill crawl down my spine, one of the Imperial Guard veterans—the guy with the mohawk—approached me. The old guys in the Guard were always harsh with me, but they seemed to have a genuine interest in raising me right. Was this system of throwing me into live combat and only helping when I was on the verge of death supposed to be a sign of trust?
Cheers to their warped affection.
“Lord Groom. Repairs on the students’ machines have begun. We have been ordered to rendezvous at the museum.”
“Understood. By the way, where’s my wife? I haven’t heard anything from her.”
“She was injured by the air defense system. She is currently undergoing treatment.”
“Wait, what?”
That was worrying. She was so small, after all. Despite everything, she was still my wife.
“It is no problem. Such things happen often. …Lord Groom, I want you to understand how much sacrifice Her Highness makes so that she can remain the Youngest Princess, rather than being merely a plaything for His Majesty.”
Pirate hunting was likely just one part of that struggle. That Emperor really ought to just die already. If things followed the original game plot, he had about a year left.
“Is there anything I can do?”
“Just be kind to her when she returns. Her Highness grew up without ever knowing the warmth of a parent’s affection. The men of the Imperial Guard might do nothing but complain, but they are all pinning their hopes on your brightness, Lord Groom.”
“Well, I’m good at that sort of thing.”
“I’m counting on you.”
So, the Imperial Guard was excessively strict because they expected so much from me…
“…Also, please leave her be until her wounds have healed. She likely does not want you to see her in such a state.”
They really were just a group of overprotective dads who understood their daughter.
We continued our push toward the Capital City. About a quarter of the Imperial Guard was assigned to me as an escort. As we neared the city limits, however, there wasn't a soul in sight.
“Sensors aren't picking up any civilian reactions.”
If everyone had been massacred… I really didn't want to think about that. But unlike my home planet, this wasn’t some gag world. I had to be prepared for a harsh reality.
Trenches had been dug in front of the Capital City, and beam-type defense traps were installed everywhere. Honestly, barbed wire would have been a lot more welcoming. This was the posture of a people who would rather perish than accept House Kamishiro!
Do they really hate us that much?!
“The museum is in sight.”
At the veteran’s signal, I climbed out of my exclusive machine in front of the building. The sign above the entrance read: Mistral War Museum.
Inside, there was a stone tablet detailing the "glorious" history of House Mistral. I spotted a very retro-looking red button and, naturally, I pressed it.
“House Mistral has successfully accomplished its 1,035th subjugation of the House Kamishiro.”
“Just how much do you people hate us?!” I barked in irritation.
The Imperial Guard veterans all looked away from me at once. Even Claire turned her head.
“What?” I asked.
Claire looked back at me, her expression pitying. “Listen, Leo. It’s common to create a hypothetical enemy to maintain internal control… though it’s rare for it to be quite this thorough. I think they might have really hated your family…”
“That is not helping!”
Frustrated, I mashed another button.
“We have brought the light of civilization to the lawless, primitive barbarians of House Kamishiro.”
Thwack!
I reflexively kicked the pedestal. We weren't even being treated like enemies anymore—we were being treated like cavemen!
“Don’t take your anger out on the exhibits, Lord Groom! Get over here and help us look for weapons!”
“Fine, fine…”
Weapons… oh, hello. Is that an RPG?
I pulled it off the wall and tossed it into one of the containers we’d brought. I pushed the container along to the next section. Fixed machine guns, assault rifles, submachine guns—they had everything. There were even pistols. It was hard to tell if the hand grenades were still functional, though.
“Lord Groom, it doesn’t matter if they don’t work. We will scan them with the shaping printer to create recipes. Once we do, they’ll be shared throughout the Empire via the network.”
“Oh, so that’s the play…”
Then I saw it—a truly massive gun. I guess you’d call it a Hand Cannon?
Wait, what?
This thing was a handgun, but it was chambered for anti-materiel rifle rounds. This gun was idiocy in physical form! Could I even fire a monster like this?
Whatever. Into the container it went.
There were blades, too. I tossed them in one after another. After looting the exhibits for a while, we came across a set of massive doors. As soon as I stepped in front of them, they hissed open.
Inside was a massive hall filled with humanoid weapons—basically, a ton of robots. They weren't just Standard Machines, either. There were even latest-generation models, the kind only deployed in small numbers back at the Imperial Capital.
“I found the humanoid weapon hangar!” I called out over the comms.
The Imperial Guard veterans came running.
“Well done, Lord Groom! We’ll scan these immediately and send the data back to the ship.”
There was an abundance of equipment here. Most of it was beam-based, but there were several pieces that looked like they’d be effective against the Zork. They weren't exactly mid-game tier, but they were definitely high-end early-game gear.
There were even mortars, much larger than the ones we used at the academy. They seemed to be designed specifically for humanoid weapons. I also found things like anti-tank mines.
“Lord Groom, once we’ve finished production on these mines, we’re going to start setting them up.”
“You got it.”
I figured I might as well bring out my heavy machinery.
And so, we officially made the museum our base of operations.