Sure, in an RPG, getting a mountain of low-rank materials isn't exactly a thrill. You just end up selling them off for pocket change.
But in an SLG, it’s a different story. Even if the individual units are weak, you can win through sheer numbers. At that point, you’re looking at an ability on the level of a national army.
In that case, was a Jester... from a different genre entirely?
A Jester wouldn't fit into a Hero’s party meant to slay a Demon King, but in a full-scale war against a Demon King’s army, they’d be a primary force. Galaxy of the Rakshasa was basically an RPG where fleet battles were just an extra feature, so...
...Actually, I should stop overthinking it.
"Lord Groom. These are sleeping pills. Sleep while you can."
"I’m still okay. I might have to sub in if things get dicey."
"I am the one in command! Now listen! Rest properly! If the Lord Groom falls, our entire line will collapse!"
It seemed my "wife" was worried about me in her own way. Claire followed the Princess's orders and settled in for a nap. Being looked after by Her Imperial Highness was something I wouldn't have even dreamed of a few days ago.
Since I couldn't sleep, I opted for doping.
First, I orally ingested the medical drones I’d scavenged from the infirmary. Then, I used a syringe to inject nano-sized drones directly into a vein in my neck.
Rapid cell regeneration began. Oral medication was milder and safer, but this had an immediate effect. Besides, there was no way I was drinking that sludge in the infirmary; it looked toxic.
I manipulated my brain chemistry to dull the sensation of fatigue. At the same time, the nanites synthesized proteins to repair my muscles... or so the manual said. Usually, this wasn't recommended because it could cause fatal heart failure. In fact, it was strictly forbidden. Just possessing the stuff was enough to get you court-martialed, and if a death occurred, the person responsible could face a firing squad.
But we were in the middle of a battle. Exceptions were made.
I pulled up the live feed from the schoolyard cameras on my augmented reality display. My classmates were hunkered down in the trenches. There were machine gun and mortar squads, along with others piloting the Trainers. Their standard equipment consisted of ballistic rifles—"pea shooters," essentially.
Just watching them made me uneasy. Several students were hyperventilating. Strangely enough, that usually stops once the shooting starts. Some kind of combat-induced focus, I suppose.
I switched the feed to Melissa’s location. She was with the Trainer Customs, the unit assigned to charge in with melee weapons. Their job was to push the front line back whenever the others needed to reload or resupply. Their machines’ limbs and heads had been reinforced with metal plating, and they were armed with close-combat blades and spears.
I toggled the external speakers. "Melissa! Don't do anything reckless!"
Melissa’s voice barked back through the comms. "Shut up! Leo, are you my mother or something?"
"I’m not your mother, but I am your friend."
"You... Seriously, you always do that! You’re really something, you know that?!"
She was clearly blushing.
"...Good grief. I owe you one, anyway!"
"What do you mean 'owe me'? Don't worry about what happened during the training session. I was just doing my job as acting captain."
"No! Not that! Whoops, enemies incoming!"
The alarm blared. Melissa and her squad moved into their positions. Then, a private transmission from Melissa blinked on my HUD.
"Hey, Leo! I’m gonna ask you one more time! You could actually be attracted to me, right?"
"What, now?! Of course I could! I spent half my time staring at your ass!"
Hey, you! Yeah, you boys over there! Don't give me that "what a sexual harasser" look! Melissa asked, so I just gave her an honest answer!
"Oh, is that so? Fine, fine. I’ll leave the channel open. Let's just have a brain-dead chat while we work."
With that, Melissa drew her weapon.
"Blades out! Charge! Don't let Leo show you up!"
The close-combat unit led by Melissa surged forward. Taking advantage of the distraction, the engineering squad began planting explosives.
Behind me, the door was thrown open with a bang.
"Lord Groom! We are heading out! You stay here and rest!"
It was the old-timers.
"Father-in-law figures! The students have already charged! Get out there and support them!"
"Of course! Men, move out!"
The veterans thundered toward the battlefield.
I had a bad feeling about this.
I watched the monitor as Melissa slashed at a Zork. Her blade was designed to cleave through armor, and it seemed effective enough. She systematically dismantled the Zork, severing its joints and stripping away its combat capability with every strike.
The other boys were doing the same. As expected of close-combat majors, even if they were still students. They were better than me—coordinated, precise. They weren't like me, relying on nothing but momentum and sheer desperation.
Another transmission came in from Melissa. "Hey, Leo. You listening?"
"What’s up?"
"Just listen. My mother... right after I was born, she eloped with one of my father’s apprentices."
That was a heavy lead-in. "O-Oh..."
"I’m probably the product of that affair. I don't look a thing like my father. But the old man never did a DNA test. He’s an idiot, right?"
"That’s not true! I’m sure there were reasons..."
"No, he’s an idiot. Because he can’t even stand to look me in the eye. My face reminds him too much of my mother. My father, my older brothers—none of them can stand me."
"Then your brothers are the ones missing out! You’ve got a beautiful face! Just looking at you gives me energy!"
"Ahaha! You’re actually praising me? You really are a piece of work... Ahahahaha! You know, I’ve never been praised by my parents. Not for my face, not for anything. They just look at me with disgust. Especially if I try to act like a girl."
"Y-You idiot! Melissa! I’m lusting after you right now!"
"Is that so?"
"Melissa, us too!" some of the other boys chimed in on the channel.
"Ahahahaha! I know the truth, you runts. I know most of you put me on the shortlist for the 'Officer Academy Ugly Summit Battle'... I’m never forgiving you for that. Ahahahaha!"
Twitch.
My "little me" shriveled in sympathy. That was terrifying! She was definitely holding a grudge! She was never going to let that go! She was absolutely livid!
To be honest, I, Leo, simply didn't have any friends to have those kinds of stupid, vulgar conversations with. Because I was a pariah, I was just excluded from the group’s malicious pranks. If things had been different, I might have been one of the idiots joining in.
"U-Um, Melissa. Maybe leave it at that... I only stayed out of it because I wasn't invited... so maybe I would have... you know, joined in the joke..."
I’m no saint! If anything, I’ve got a pretty nasty streak! Those kinds of jokes are just a symptom of the disease known as puberty! Cut them some slack!
"But Leo, you never said a word against me, did you? That’s enough. That’s all I ever wanted. I’m so sick of it! Sick of the people who look at me and call me a hag! Sick of that shitty old man who looks at me and sighs because I’m the spitting image of that cheating bitch!"
Melissa screamed. It was a cry straight from her soul.
"I am a woman!"
Melissa delivered a brutal kick to a Zork. As it staggered, she followed up with a strike that carried every ounce of her strength.
"Hey! Imperial Princess! Are you listening?! When we get back, let me have your husband! Make me his mistress! I’m not asking to be his wife, but Leo is the only man who treats me like a real woman!"
O-Oh boy.
"It’s true that Leo is a weirdo, a closet pervert, and a Jester who hid his true self from everyone! But he’s the best man I’ve ever met!"
"Well said, Melissa! You shall become my sister-in-law!"
"My wiiife!" I shouted.
"Lord Groom, be quiet! You are my groom! You will live for my sake! I don't care if you become a harem king or whatever else, just stay alive!"
What a tyrant!
"Ahahahaha! I figured Her Highness would say that!"
"Melissa! Engrave this upon your heart! Leo’s first woman and his last shall be me!"
"Ahahahahahahaha! I love you, Your Highness!"
We all laughed. But the moment was cut short.
An alarm shrieked.
"Oops. I guess it couldn't take the strain after all," Melissa muttered.
The knee joint of Melissa’s machine snapped with a sickening mechanical crunch. A standard Trainer simply couldn't withstand the stresses of Melissa’s high-intensity maneuvers.
"Lord Groom! She is your woman! You must save her!"
I didn't need to be told twice. I bolted for the exit.
"I’m coming too!" Claire added, catching up.
Melissa, hold on! I’m coming for you! Don't you dare die!