We plunged into the sea.
I streamlined my body to minimize surface area and hit the water feet-first, braced for my legs to snap. It was deep—deeper than I could have imagined. Once my momentum finally slowed, I fought my way back toward the surface while I still had air in my lungs.
My face finally broke the water. Air. I needed air.
I took a massive, desperate lungful. No injuries. My legs weren't broken, either. But for a second there, I’d honestly thought I was a goner. No joke—I thought I was dead.
"Leo, are you alive?"
"I'm dead," I wheezed.
I’m so done with this. I am never, ever doing an atmospheric entry in a combat suit again.
It took forever, but Claire and I eventually dragged ourselves onto dry land, struggling every step of the way. This combat suit was way too heavy. Once we reached solid ground, we collapsed for a breather.
"I-I’m dying. I seriously thought that was it..."
"I'm sorry, Leo."
"It's not your fault, Claire. I’m just glad you’re okay."
We were on Planet 19. Once a brutal battlefield, it now served as a massive "schoolyard"—a training ground for the Imperial Officer Academy. It was like one of those city schools that had its sports fields in a completely separate part of town. You only came here a few times a year for things like sports festivals.
The Academy managed an old base here. No personnel lived on-site, but it was supposed to be patrolled by autonomous drones. There had to be communication equipment somewhere. The only problem was getting to it.
I pulled off my helmet and set it on the ground. A refreshing breeze cooled my flushed face. Man, I wanted a bath. Fortunately, there weren't supposed to be any dangerous lifeforms on this planet.
"Here, Leo. Drink."
Claire handed me a container of seawater she’d processed through her Water Purification Unit.
"Thanks." I hadn't realized how parched my throat was until the first gulp.
Claire was busy swiping through her Augmented Reality windows. "It looks like there's an old base nearby."
Apparently, it was separate from the main training facility.
"Think they have food?" I asked.
"There might even be vehicles."
I checked my own AR notifications. Our emergency status should have been transmitted to the transport craft, yet rescue was taking its sweet time. Maybe they’d run into trouble of their own.
"I’ll send our current coordinates and our destination to the instructors for now," Claire said.
"Nice work."
"Dangerous creatures aren't supposed to live here, but... we should probably hurry to the base while we can still move."
"Agreed."
I had no objections. The lack of a bike was a major pain, though. I started to wonder if every vehicle I touched was destined to be destroyed. We began trekking through the overgrown, unpatrolled forest.
"Look! The bike!" Claire pointed.
My bike was wedged high up in a tree, mangled and bent into a useless V-shape. Definitely not rideable anymore. Talk about rotten luck.
"What about yours?"
"I saw it explode during the descent."
Seriously, what was with our luck? I really wanted to believe the Jester’s reality-altering nonsense had nothing to do with this. I certainly hadn't wished for it.
"This was probably just the school’s lack of preparation," I muttered.
"Still... I'm sorry."
"Don't worry about it. Let's just treat this like a picnic."
After about two hours of walking, the base finally came into view. It was ancient.
"There's a drone," Claire whispered.
A rusted Humanoid Drone was mindlessly cleaning the perimeter. Since this was school property, it shouldn't have been hostile, but if it flagged us as intruders, we might be in for a fight.
"I'll handle it."
I approached the machine. I didn't think it had combat capabilities, but the drone’s optical sensor suddenly flared red. A blue light swept over me, scanning my body.
"Jester..." a garbled, distorted voice crackled from its speakers.
The drone dropped to its knees. Well, at least it wasn't going to attack.
"Drone, can you contact the Imperial Officer Academy?"
No response. It seemed our communication protocols were too far apart in age to be compatible. Seeing that it was safe, Claire joined me.
"Is it okay?"
"Yeah, it’s harmless. But I can't get a signal through. Protocol mismatch."
I sat down on the floor. Despite the age of the facility, the drone’s constant cleaning meant there wasn't a speck of dust. The machine stood beside me, staring intently.
"I think it wants you to follow it," Claire suggested.
"You want me to go somewhere?"
The drone emitted a sharp pipo sound. Its voice synthesizer was clearly shot, but I got the message.
"Alright, I'm coming."
As soon as I stood up, the drone began to lead the way. It stopped in front of a blank wall and emitted another pipo. After another blue light scan, a hidden staircase leading to the basement ground open.
"A secret room?" I felt a small spark of excitement.
We descended the stairs and found ourselves in a massive garage.
"No way..."
Sitting in the center of the room was a robot. This wasn't some Humanoid Heavy Machinery used for welding; this was a massive, dedicated war machine.
"I recognize this! It’s from the Independence War five hundred years ago!" Claire exclaimed.
"The one people say the Jester started?"
"Jester?"
"Uh, never mind." Right, that part was still a secret.
The drone chimed rapidly, beckoning me toward the machine.
"What now?"
As I stepped closer, the combat robot groaned to life, and its cockpit hissed open. It was inviting me inside. I climbed the ladder and settled into the pilot's seat. The OS booted up, and the console flickered to life. I used the physical keys to type in a help command.
[Jester-exclusive Machine. Authentication required for deployment.]
Figures. I entered the authentication command, and a blue light swept over me.
[Authentication successful. Welcome, Jester.]
So it literally wouldn't move for anyone but a Jester. Great. My "garbage" class was finally good for something. I switched on the external speakers.
"Claire, it looks like it’s functional."
I skimmed the manual. The machine had space for a second person. "I'm opening the lower hatch."
A panel in the abdomen slid open, and Claire climbed inside.
"There’s a live-ammo turret in here! Let’s see... this must be the targeting system..."
It was a Two-seater Type. Forget a simple transport vehicle—I’d managed to stumble upon a literal weapon of war. My life was officially a mess.
Despite its age, the machine moved with surprising fluidity. The hangar gates groaned open. Operating it was actually easier than the heavy machinery I’d used before. As expected of a Jester-exclusive machine, it felt as though my very nerves were wired into the frame.
The moment we stepped outside, an alarm blared through the cockpit.
"W-What? What's happening?" Claire cried.
I leaned into the role. "They're coming."
Honestly, I had no clue what was coming, but it felt like the right thing to say. Where are the weapons? I wondered. As if in response, the right leg compartment deployed. I reached out and grabbed the object inside. It unfolded into a massive, jagged chainsaw.
This wasn't a tool for clearing brush. It was a terrifying, malicious-looking weapon designed for one thing: killing Zork.
No way...
Just as the thought crossed my mind, the ground erupted. A massive, crustacean-like Zork burst from the earth.
"What is that!?"
"I see... they were here the whole time."
The speed of the Zork advance across the galaxy had always seemed impossible. The way they seemed to spawn infinitely was a mystery. But now I understood. They didn't come from space; they were already here, buried deep underground. They had simply been waiting to wake up.
The Zork lunged, but this time, I was the one looking down on it. The fear that usually gripped me was gone. I revved the chainsaw. With a deafening roar, I brought the blade down, cleaving the Zork in two in a single stroke.
"So I’m the trigger..."
Before I could finish the thought, another Zork charged from the flank. I was still figuring out the controls, and the chainsaw wouldn't be ready in time.
"I’ve got it! Eat this!" Claire screamed.
The abdominal turret roared. Heavy slugs slammed into the Zork, shattering its carapace. In that opening, I lunged at a third Zork further back. The chainsaw shrieked as it threw up sparks, slicing the monster clean in half.
Was that it?
"Claire! We’re heading for the camp! Everyone’s in trouble!"
"Right!"
I pushed the robot into a sprint. It didn't have a roller dash function—I was starting to think the universe just didn't want me to have one—but it was fast.
The camp came into view. I could see the Imperial Guard pilots struggling to hold the line in their worker-grade heavy machinery.
"Imperial Guard! Protect the students! Stand your ground!"
I heard Veronica’s voice over the comms. In that instant, all my lingering hesitation vanished.
"Claire, don't bite your tongue! We're going in!"
I triggered a jump. The machine didn't have flight units, so it was a leap of pure mechanical leg strength. I raised the chainsaw high and brought it down as we landed, bisecting a Zork on impact.
"Firing!" Claire shouted.
The abdominal cannon spat fire, the recoil rattling the entire cockpit. I didn't care. I threw the machine into the fray, catching a Zork with an upward elbow to the chin before shattering its balance with a heavy kick.
"My husband!?" Veronica’s voice rang out, full of excitement. "Look at that! Such magnificent, savage strength! Truly, a man fit to be my husband!"
Yeah, yeah, thanks a bunch!
I was surrounded by the roar of the chainsaw, the smell of oil, and the stench of gunpowder. The machine’s white armor was quickly stained black with soot and gore. I seized a Zork's pincer, holding it steady while I drove a mechanical knee into its core. The moment I dropped the carcass, Claire followed up with another cannon blast.
My heart was pounding against my ribs.
"Out of ammo!" Claire’s voice brought me back to reality.
The area was a graveyard of Zork fragments. Only one remained, and it was charging straight for us. I pulled the trigger for the chainsaw, but it wouldn't catch. The mechanism was jammed.
I discarded the weapon and lunged at the Zork with bare metal hands.
"Just die already!"
I hoisted the massive creature over my head. The gears in the robot's joints shrieked in protest, but I didn't stop. I held the Zork high and brought it crashing down across my knee.
With a sickening crunch of breaking shell and internal organs, the Zork snapped. At that same moment, a system-wide error flashed across my HUD as the gears finally gave out. The robot powered down.
"My win," I breathed.
Seriously, Fate... you could stand to take it a little easier on me.
"Husband! Are you alive? Are you hurt?"
I could hear Veronica’s voice, but I was too exhausted to respond.
A specialized machine... what the hell is a Jester anyway?