"Your Majesty... A massive thought is approaching."
Jason-kun came out with something bizarre.
"Huh? Can you tell what it's about?"
"Well... not entirely. Sweet potato... sweet potato... is as far as I can make out, but..."
"Sweet potato...?"
"Also, a thought saying 'A-in' is approaching from a different direction."
Isn't that our kid?
The thought crossed my mind, but I kept my mouth shut.
"Towa, it is your father~"
Right on cue, Wifey arrived holding Towa-chan in her arms.
"Auuuu?"
"The Imperial Child says, 'Give sweet potato.'"
Jason-kun... could you please stop giving me that dead-eyed stare?
"Auaa abububu!"
"The Imperial Child says, 'Give corn too.'"
"Wait, has Towa-chan even started baby food yet?"
"Not yet."
Wifey stated definitively.
"Then why does she even recognize food?"
Isn't our kid a bit too sharp?
"The Imperial Child says, 'Father, pass the sweet potato over here while Mother isn't looking.' You cannot have any."
Towa-chan pouted with an unsatisfied "Abuu."
"Lord Groom... is Towa... not a little too clever?"
Wifey's expression clouded over as well.
I mean... this wasn't just parental bias talking... wasn't she remarkably smart?
Though in a pretty concerning direction.
"The Imperial Child is... likely directed at me, saying, 'Big bro, play some BGM to hype me up.'"
"Ah, yeah, sure. Put on something kids would like, please."
"Playing a kids' anime theme song."
He queued up a standard tune.
"Abu! Abububu!"
Flailing limbs.
She looked distinctly annoyed.
"The Imperial Child says, 'Play Dvořák.'"
"Who on earth taught Towa that?!"
"The Imperial Child says, 'I learned it from the BGM.' She also adds, 'I prefer mecha shows over kids' anime'..."
Wifey turned her gaze toward me.
Stop looking at me like that.
"She is the spitting image of her father..."
"Wifey... just give it up already..."
Towa-chan, please don't inherit only Dad's worst traits.
Next came Claire.
"Here we are, Ark-chan. It's Papa~"
"Abuu."
He pulled a funny face.
"Your Majesty. The Imperial Child is saying, 'This is bad, this is real bad.'"
Claire went completely pale.
"It was Jason-san, right? Could it be... you understand baby talk?"
"I am a mental-type ESP user, after all..."
"Well... our child is... acting a bit strange."
Jason-kun's expression softened into a gentle smile.
He offered no further comment.
"...Could it be, what he's thinking is...?"
"He is currently playing a vulgar joke song as background music in his head."
Claire nearly collapsed right then and there, prompting the wet nurse to catch Ark-chan just in time.
Leaning against the wall, Claire glared at me.
"Is this my fault?"
"It's not your fault, but it IS your fault!"
That's totally unfair!
Boys being obsessed with crude songs is an unavoidable destiny!
Then the sextuplets came charging in as well.
"Papa!"
Whoosh—they came flying over.
Their eyes locked onto Ark-chan.
Even if they had different mothers, he was still their flesh-and-blood younger brother.
I hoped they would get along.
"A-in."
The eldest daughter, Amane-chan, made a goofy face right on top of my head.
Seeing that... well, whether he could actually see her or not...
Either way, he fired back with an "A-in" funny face of his own.
"Kyah kyah kyah!"
"The Imperial Child says, 'Little brother is cute.'"
"Isn't Amane-chan way too smart?!"
She already recognized him as her little brother.
The other kids joined in, pulling goofy faces together.
"The Imperial Children are all saying, 'A-in.'"
Yeah, I got that one without the interpreter, thanks.
Next, their eyes met Towa-chan's.
For some reason, the sextuplets started trembling.
"Lady Towa declared, 'Sweet potato!' and the Imperial Children are deeply moved, crying, 'Sweet potato!'"
The sextuplets' eyes sparkled.
It was as if Towa were a natural-born dictator in the making.
...All right, time to bolt.
"Welp, time for my training."
I tried to make a swift exit, but Pigetto, waiting out in the hallway, caught me immediately.
"Your Majesty, where do you think you are running off to?"
"B-Because~! It's not my fault!"
As I was dragged back into the room, Wifey muttered, "Is this the sheer charisma inherited from the Lord Groom...?"
No, I'm pretty sure she took after you, Wifey.
I don't have a charismatic bone in my body.
Claire was busy muttering, "I have to educate Ark properly."
Hah... I am the direct result of strict discipline at the Officer Academy.
I think you're better off giving up now.
Ren remained entirely unruffled, remarking, "It's wonderfully lively, isn't it?"
To be this composed for her first time raising kids...
I was starting to think Ren might be the most formidable one here.
"Your Majesty. I believe Lady Ren is not composed, but rather escaping from reality."
"Jason-kun, stop splashing me with cold reality."
Jason-kun truly was the most ruthless of all.
Pigetto furrowed his brow as well.
"Your Majesty. Kindly do something about this."
Pigetto said it with a gentle smile.
Which meant he was privately seething.
Even if you tell me to do something about it!
"All right, eyes on me, little ones!"
It seemed my voice got through to them after all.
Every single child looked up at me simultaneously.
"Pomeranian Calisthenics No. 1! Sweet potato! Sweet potato!"
"Kyah! Sweet potato!"
Towa-chan and Ark-chan, who couldn't move around yet, kicked their arms and legs in excitement.
The sextuplets dropped to the floor and started copying my moves.
"Sweet potato! Sweet potato! Corn!"
Strike the corn pose!
"Kyah!"
Ren's children struck the corn pose right along with me!
Alright, nailed it.
"The Imperial Children are thoroughly delighted."
The sextuplets struck the sweet potato pose and the corn pose over and over again.
Nice!
They're still just babies; there's no need to overcomplicate things.
No matter how clever they might seem, simple antics like this are more than enough to make them happy.
Once the dancing wrapped up, the kids began dozing off, as if their batteries had suddenly run out.
"Looks like they wore themselves out having fun."
Time to scoop them up.
Watching the whole display, Pigetto looked utterly stunned.
"L-Lord Groom... c-could it be that you have prior experience in child rearing?"
"As if! My family home was practically a backwater village, so I was constantly saddled with looking after all the neighborhood brats!"
Though that was ages ago now.
Nowadays it was a sprawling metropolis.
I had been shocked when I saw the recent photos.
"Wifey, Claire, Ren, there's no need to worry yourselves sick; everything's fine. It's only while they're this little that stuff like this keeps them entertained."
Before long, their favorite music won't be Dvořák anymore, but pop chart-toppers. Probably.
If they inherited my blood, they won't have an ounce of musical talent, so it's not like they'll suddenly declare, "I'm gonna be a rock star!" either.
Yep, time will sort it all out. Probably.
Even so...
I clapped Jason-kun on the shoulder.
"I'm glad to have such a capable ally. How about taking charge of the kids' class?"
I gave him my best sparkling, hopeful look.
"Don't give me that fake enthusiasm! Absolutely not!"
Shot down instantly.
Too naive, though.
I've already marked you as my target.
You're not getting away!
When I glanced back at my wives, every single one of them had the exact same look in their eyes.
Looking forward to working with you from now on, Jason-kun!