ESP Soldier Jason Azumi stood face-to-face with His Majesty Leo.
His very first impression was: Is this guy a monster?
Colonel Isono had already cast aside his humanity, but His Majesty was several times worse.
At first glance, he looked like a carefree young student.
That was pure camouflage.
In reality, he could kill me at any moment... which was precisely why he wasn't even on guard.
Yet his body looked primed for combat at a fraction of a second's notice.
Haha... just like a wild beast.
He was definitely the type who could flip that switch in an instant.
"Your Majesty. Requesting permission to read surface-level thoughts."
This wasn't an unusual request.
Reading a master's thoughts beforehand allowed a guard to commit the resonance of their inner voice to memory.
That way, in the unlikely event something happened—even if separated by distance, like during a trip to the restroom—one could confirm their safety.
"Sure thing—"
Alright, let's take a read.
I'm so hungry...
O-Oh, boy...
Potatoes... yakisoba... fried rice...
"Your Majesty. I believe consuming only carbohydrates is detrimental to your health."
Saying that, I quietly offered him a nutrition bar.
Chocolate-flavored.
Swish! It was snatched away in a blur.
"Yummy... yummy... yummy..."
Is this person really a king?
Why is he starving this badly?
...I had been instructed to report any abnormalities.
I immediately reported in over the radio.
"This is Warrant Officer Jason Azumi. His Majesty is exceptionally starved."
A man's voice replied from headquarters.
"His Majesty is currently undergoing treatment for a stomach ulcer. If he can't endure it, provide him with a nutrition bar."
"I offered one and it was snatched away. It appears he has already cast aside his humanity."
"Is conversation with His Majesty possible? If not, he has lost himself to hunger."
Is he a great ape?
"Your Majesty. The Captain of the Guard asks if conversation is possible."
"Ook? Ook-kikiki?"
"It's impossible."
Though his act was blatantly deliberate, I reported him as unable to converse for the time being.
"Inquire about his preference for today's lunch."
"He asks what you would like for lunch."
"A mountain of meat... I wanna barbecue..."
"Conversation is possible."
"Ah, you bastard! You set me up!"
A trick of this caliber doesn't even qualify as deception.
Just then, the lunch menu arrived.
Udon in a dark soy sauce broth.
"They say lunch is udon."
"Extra-large noodles, add an egg."
"Understood."
I transmitted the order.
It was approved.
At this point, I noticed something off.
So far, my guard duties amounted to zero.
Isn't placing lunch orders a job for the chamberlain staff?
Lady Polina, acting as secretary, giggled softly.
"Your Majesty. It seems you've made a fine friend."
A friend?
Me?
With the King of Chronos?
"Well, I'll be causing you some trouble, but glad to have ya—"
And then, his thoughts drifted into my mind.
Man, thank goodness. More and more people from the Imperial Guard have been getting hospitalized from overwork, so we've been running real short on hands~
As those thoughts sank in, realization hit me.
I've been set up!
Right then and there, it all made sense.
Why had a remnant of the Duke Association like me been chosen as the King of Chronos's bodyguard?
The true cause was a severe, desperate shortage of personnel.
There was no one—not a single soul—left.
No one who could take care of this space monster.
And then there was my exquisitely convenient position.
Even if my main house had been destroyed, I harbored no personal grudge.
My honor had been restored, and as a military Special Forces operative, I had actively taken part in the Duke Association Remnant Hunt.
They called it assassination, but it wasn't as if I had been disposing of innocent people.
I only eliminated targets after months of meticulous investigation proved they were making suspicious moves.
Even the man I forced to jump from a building had been establishing contact with an anti-government organization in Chronos through a trading company run by the Pirate Guild.
Sadly, however, the Pirate Guild, that anti-government organization, and the trading company itself were all under the King of Chronos.
It was something one could figure out with a little research... no... maybe that was expecting too much.
Unless one was intimately familiar with the inner workings of outer space, they would never know.
Even I wouldn't have known if I hadn't combed through classified Special Forces files.
For an entire intelligence network to assemble itself around the King of Chronos without him even lifting a finger—the man was far too much of a monster.
Even so, I believe humans survive on sheer luck alone.
Surely the King of Chronos had his luck pointed in some bizarre, overwhelming direction.
And while making that mental retort, my own honor had been restored and my noble title reinstated.
I was on the luckier side... No, wait. Was this whole thing orchestrated?!
I hailed from the Duke Association, but I had no ties to its upper echelons.
When the Military Police arrested me at the Officer Academy, I offered no resistance, conducting myself in a manner that brought no shame upon an Imperial Noble.
In the military, I distinguished myself upon joining the Special Forces, and as a noble, I believe I served the realm faithfully through the remnant hunt of the Duke Association.
I was the exact right candidate to publicly showcase a clean reconciliation with the Duke Association.
Furthermore, coming from the Special Forces, I had confidence in my physical stamina.
I was simply the most suitable caretaker for the space monster.
N-No, I had an inkling that might be the case.
As a possibility, it was well within expectations.
The only problem was having no idea what my new master was actually thinking.
Even when reading the surface of his thoughts, he was entirely consumed by food!
"After we eat udon and take a quick breather, we're working out."
"Huh?"
"If I don't exercise, my body gets sluggish. You like working out, right?"
"I don't dislike it, but..."
I was naive.
I had completely underestimated the stamina of a space monster.
Without warning, we were running a full obstacle course in thirty kilograms of combat gear.
It brought back vivid memories of the Special Forces selection exam.
At least it was somewhat better in that we didn't have to practice stealth to avoid enemy detection.
Emptying my mind, I ran alongside him.
Scaling vertical walls, navigating ropes.
I was no green recruit.
Getting through the course itself wasn't an issue.
The problem started the second we finished the low crawl.
"All right, warm-up exercises over! To the dojo we go—!"
"You've got to be kidding me..."
There's a limit to how long one can suppress their own sanity.
This guy is insane.
By the way, those people collapsed on both sides of the obstacle course... could they be...?
While striking a pile of thinned wood, I questioned His Majesty.
"There were people collapsed on both sides of the obstacle course, though! Deyaaaaaaah!"
Putting all my spirit into it, I swung a thick branch against the thinned wood.
"Probably an entrance test for the instructor course? A little rest and they'll perk right up."
In other words, the Kamishiro-style instructor course.
To become a live-in disciple, you needed baseline physical stamina on par with the Special Forces at the very least.
Is this guy a demon?
"Isn't that completely impossible regardless?! Deyaaaaaaah!"
"You say that, Jason-kun, but you're keeping up just fine."
"I am! An active! Special! Forces! Operative! Deyaaaaaaah!"
"Oh, nice. You're starting to drop the unnecessary tension."
I can't take this anymore.
My muscles are definitely going to be screaming tomorrow.
No, muscle soreness would be a blessing.
I'm pretty sure I'm going to tear a tendon.
I'll have to inject rapid-recovery nanomachines meant for Special Forces just to piece myself back together.
From right beside me came a sharp CRACK, and the pile of thinned timber gave way, crumbling apart with a loud groan.
"Ah, it broke."
Is he human?
Is this really a human being?
And thus began my life as a bodyguard, caretaker, minion, and straight man.
Otherwise known as a comedian's assistant.