The Space Raiders.
One of the Special Forces units of the Galactic Empire Space Marines.
The man serving as their instructor is me.
Huma.
From the bottom of my heart, how did things turn out like this?
We were supposed to be the strongest unit of soldiers hand-picked from the Space Marines.
Of course, His Majesty Leo Kamishiro Chronos was an exception.
That guy isn't human.
In the first place, back in the Officer Academy, he was already slated to be assigned to a pilot team ranked even higher than the Space Raiders... I mean, seriously.
A once-in-a-decade super rookie.
...And the real deal turned out to be even more of a monster than advertised.
Compared to a Space Kaiju like that, we're still normal.
We're on the human side.
And yet, here we were, wallowing in misery.
It all started with that god's raid the other day.
We had been assigned to the fifth wave.
In short, backup personnel in case there were no other options left.
Rescue the wounded, then blow up the entire room.
That was the plan.
In other words, nothing was expected of us from the very beginning.
I mean, the opponent was a god.
Or rather, on paper, a "Higher Existence claiming to be a god."
We understood full well that our countermeasures were practically nonexistent.
Even so, a former sumo wrestler took the spotlight, and a baseball cheer squad went on an absolute rampage.
While we just stood there in the hallway.
Under such circumstances, our pride took a devastating beating.
I could practically hear the sound of something snapping inside us.
I'll say it again: we understood the reality of the situation perfectly well.
His Majesty Leo's advance forces—the Imperial Guard Knight Order, His Majesty Leo's Ninja Squad, and the Armored Rikishi Unit—were completely wiped out.
We would have met the exact same fate.
While there were no deaths among them, a good number were still hospitalized.
Even knowing that, the fact remained that we just stood on standby in the hallway.
That humiliation wounded us deeply.
We understood the logic behind the orders.
In the end, detonation was the only choice.
At that stage, all we could do was buy time.
It was a total defeat.
Even so, our pride simply couldn't stomach it.
So, having had our spirits crushed, were we going to leave the military?
Not a chance in hell.
We are the Space Raiders.
We just beat the living daylights out of our bodies until all our worries vanish.
Even if people point fingers and call us brainless muscleheads, that's our way of life.
...Up to this point, fine.
The real problem came after that.
Our missions constantly put us on a razor's edge with death.
Naturally, many of us are superstitious.
Ultimately, luck is what decides whether you live or die.
And when it came to a deity who was popular among us, it was Zashiki-warashi-sama, named by His Majesty Leo.
The guardian deity of ships. In other words, our guardian deity.
So, we frequently visited the shrine built in Chronos to offer our prayers.
Some prayed for a safe return.
Some prayed for their families' safety.
Some prayed to win their sports bets... That made up the vast majority, honestly.
A very select few prayed for the victory of the Galactic Empire.
...Because securing victory in war is our job anyway.
Regardless, we showered her with sweets, juice, and monetary offerings.
She was an entity you could see with your own two eyes, and she showed genuine joy, after all.
And that very entity...
Wait, what?
She's not some mysterious creature, but a literal god?
Huh?
A Sun God who's been forgotten by modern history?
What?
And Himorogi-sama is the actual World Tree?
Come again?
Now that I think about it, I did learn about the myths in Imperial History class back in school.
That Imperial History curriculum where the facts changed on a whim.
What was it called, the exodus from the Solar System?
If I recall, back in my day, we were taught that environmental pollution made the planet uninhabitable.
Back in the young lady's day, it was war.
Back in young lady Nina's day, it was resource depletion.
And currently, the official reason is listed as unknown.
That's why everyone hates that subject—the descriptions change at the drop of a hat depending on the political climate!
It was only after Lady Veronica took the throne that it finally became an academically accurate text.
Even that was heavily influenced by His Majesty Leo's no-guard tactic.
That's why the Imperial Couple is so popular with the public.
...When I really think about it, that Space Kaiju... has had a hand in every single major decision in the Galactic Empire in recent years.
Wait, don't tell me... Rumor has it he was even involved in the former emperor's assassination.
I'm too terrified to ever ask him, though.
He really might have done it... that guy.
He usually prefers to talk things out, but when it's time to cut someone off, he slices clean through without a second thought.
His instincts are straight out of the wild!
If he judged someone needed to be eliminated, and the opportunity presented itself, there's no way in hell he wouldn't pull the trigger.
Even the actual perpetrator, Prince Cyrus, changed his name to Shiramber and nonchalantly integrated into the nobility.
Terrifying!
Royalty is terrifying!
If all of this was dancing in the palm of his hand... then he's a monster at both domestic governance and political scheming!
He's undoubtedly a historical figure in the making...
Crossing paths with Leo Kamishiro was the end of my good fortune—no, he's a man to whom I owe an immense debt of gratitude.
He saved the young lady and gave me my life back, too.
Dammit, I ended up indebted to a monster. There's no escaping his orbit now.
But at this rate, we're utterly useless.
If another god shows up, we won't have a single way to fight back.
All we'll be able to come up with is blowing up the room to buy a few extra seconds.
And that is why we've been so down in the dumps.
"Guess there's no way around it..."
I reached out to a certain organization.
The Chronos Grand Sumo Association.
Look, I know how absurd it sounds.
I get it.
I get it, but...
The only confirmed countermeasures we have right now are His Majesty Leo's katana, Saint Tatiana's hymn, and sumo.
...As for why the cheer squad worked, nobody has the faintest clue, so we're just going to pretend that didn't happen.
Join the cheer squad?
I don't have that kind of fiery passion.
Sumo is far more manageable.
I contacted Tank Oyakata and headed straight for the dojo.
I was going to participate, too.
Inside the dojo were the Armored Rikishi.
It seemed their pride had taken a massive beating as well.
Though they usually fool around like typical Lepsitolians, the look in their eyes was dead serious today.
Tank Oyakata walked in.
For some reason, he was hauling His Majesty Leo, who was bound tightly from head to toe in thick rope.
"Gwaaaaahhhhhhh! Let me go! Let me goooooooo!"
"Shut your trap! This is an imperial order from the Empress!"
The scene was already completely unhinged.
"Alright, everyone will be sparring against Kaiju Kawagon."
"Huh?"
"Kaiju Kawagon went and loudly blabbed state-secret-level information in the dining hall. This is his punishment."
"B-Buttt~! It just slipped out!"
"No excuses! Come on, Your Majesty, get to training!"
"Waaaaahhhhhh!"
I raised my hand.
"Tank Oyakata... you're telling us to fight a wild beast?"
That's no different from telling us to take on a grizzly bear with our bare hands.
That Great Ape over there happens to be the strongest human alive, you know.
"It's sumo, after all. You guys should be fine... probably..."
"You don't sound... confident at all..."
"The imperial decree states: 'His cystitis and stomach ulcer are fully cured. Correct his lack of exercise.'"
Was it some sort of Lepsitol Ninja Art?
Before I even noticed, he had slipped out of the ropes and was already wearing a mawashi.
I felt a slight vein pop in my forehead.
"Aight, bring it ooooon!"
Space Kaiju Kawagon let out a desperate, unhinged battle cry.
He might be on the smaller side, but we'd better treat him like a heavily armored tank.
"Beat the living crap out of him, boys! Got it?!"
I roared, firing up my squad.