[Serina Mikage POV]
Aiba-kun breathed out a long sigh against my chest.
A different kind of weight bore down on the arm I had wrapped around his back. The strength he had used to support himself unraveled, and his entire feverish frame slumped into my embrace.
His forehead, pressed against me through my dark navy jersey, was burning hot.
The breaths that followed were deeper and calmer than before.
"...Aiba-kun?"
I called out to him, but received no answer.
It wasn't that he had passed out from pain. The tension in his furrowed brow had faded, and his closed eyelids remained peaceful.
I could tell he had fallen asleep.
The stiffness that had locked up his body until just moments ago was completely gone.
Without unwrapping my arm from around his back, I listened to his breathing.
Every time Aiba-kun exhaled, a faint warmth seeped through the fabric. My other hand remained resting near the back of his head, making sure not to brush against his right shoulder.
—He's so close.
If I tilted my head just a little, I could see his sleeping profile.
His bangs, still damp from the rain. His cheeks, flushed red with fever. His lowered, long eyelashes. And beneath them on his cheek, faint traces remained where tears had spilled just moments ago.
He had heard my words and cried.
Even so, in the end, he had smiled with relief.
—I'm so glad you're safe, Mikage-san.
—I'm so glad I made it in time.
Even while suffering so much himself, the last words on his lips had been about me.
A tight pang gripped deep inside my chest.
Even though I knew I needed to lay Aiba-kun down in bed soon, I couldn't bring myself to let go.
I wanted to feel his warmth like this for just a little longer. The rhythmic breathing within my arms, the weight resting against my chest, and the sleeping face that only I could see right now—I didn't want to lose any of it yet.
My heart kept thumping right by Aiba-kun's ear.
I didn't know if the sound he had heard right before drifting off still reached him. Even so, the thought that he had heard such a loud, frantic beat made me blush.
It was beating so hard that I almost worried it would wake him, yet Aiba-kun's breathing never hitched. Entrusting everything to me, he remained fast asleep.
That simple fact made me helplessly happy.
I had always been terrified of men getting close to me. I was terrified of people stepping across boundaries to an unwanted distance and presuming to know my feelings.
That was why, whenever a guy was nearby, I was always looking for an escape route.
Right now, I wasn't looking for a way out.
I wrapped my arm around Aiba-kun's back and drew him toward my chest. Staying here, and being this close, were choices I made for myself.
Aiba-kun, who had been trying to get back to the bed, had still held some tension in his frame even after I caught him. But that tension had gradually melted away as he listened to my heartbeat. Now, he was entrusting all of his feverish weight to me.
Whether during the fire or at school, Aiba-kun had always left me room to choose for myself.
Even when that guy cornered me over some selfish delusion, Aiba-kun had stepped in front of me without hesitation. Yet, he never used saving me as an excuse to close the distance between us.
He waited until I felt ready to approach, and when I stopped, he stopped with me. If I said no, he was the kind of person who would never push forward another inch.
I felt an urge to touch his sleeping cheek with my fingertips.
I wanted to wipe away the tear stains, stroke his fever-damp hair, and tell him once more that he was safe.
The hand resting near the back of his head moved slightly.
However, I stopped before my fingertips could reach his cheek.
Right now, Aiba-kun couldn't choose for himself.
When he was awake, I could ask if it was okay to touch him. If he didn't like it, he could tell me to back off.
While he was asleep, he couldn't do that.
I didn't want to be the one to cross the boundaries that Aiba-kun had protected so carefully for me.
I pulled back my hand, returning it to support the back of his head. Still, the reluctance to let go lingered, and I put just a fraction more strength into the arm wrapped around his back.
When I admitted that I loved him, I thought I had finally put a name to my feelings.
Yet, holding him in my arms, that single word felt inadequate.
I wanted him to be safe. I never wanted him to suffer wounds like that again. If I could take his pain from him, I would, and when things got hard, I wanted him to rely on me.
I wanted to touch him.
I wanted to be by his side.
Just looking at his sleeping face, the emotions welling up from deep within my chest couldn't be contained by a simple "I love you."
It wasn't because he was the one who rescued me from the fire. Nor was it because he was my savior who had come back despite getting hurt.
The one I held so dearly was simply the Aiba-kun right here in my arms.
My gaze drifted to his right shoulder beneath the dry shirt.
Under the cloth was the dressing we had just replaced. And hidden beneath that, the memory of the burn scar spreading from his right shoulder down to his upper arm vividly resurfaced.
The wound he had suffered in that fire.
The wound he got from shielding me.
Aiba-kun would surely insist, over and over, that it wasn't something I had to carry. That going back had been his own decision, not my responsibility.
Even so, that didn't mean I had to stop wishing that it wouldn't hurt.
Taking on his wounds as my own burden and worrying about his pain were two entirely different things.
Looking at his scar hadn't been about apologizing.
Being here wasn't about repaying a debt, either.
It was because I couldn't leave him to suffer, and I couldn't bear the thought of leaving him alone and going home.
I wouldn't turn the choice Aiba-kun made into my guilt.
Nor would I make the feelings I chose for myself into his burden.
His forehead pressed against my chest was so hot that it overcame my desire to keep holding him.
Getting him to rest properly came first.
"...Sleep well, Aiba-kun," I whispered softly to the sleeping boy.
Exhaling as if tearing myself away from lingering attachment, I slowly shifted my arms to lay him down on the bed.
I gradually loosened the arm supporting the left side of his back, using my other hand to cradle the back of his head. Making sure his right shoulder wouldn't tilt, I gently guided him down toward the pillow.
Aiba-kun's head swayed slightly in my arms, his bangs falling across his eyes.
Using the back of my finger, I softly brushed aside the strands obscuring his face. After pulling my finger away, I placed my palm against his forehead to check his temperature.
A distinct, radiating heat transferred to my skin.
His breathing remained steady, his chest rising and falling softly at regular intervals. Confirming the rhythm, I lowered his head onto the pillow.
As I slipped my arm out from behind his back, I took extra care not to jostle his right shoulder. I straightened him onto his back and placed a folded towel under his right arm, which rested limp at his side.
Searching for a height where his arm wouldn't pull uncomfortably on his shoulder, I refolded the edges of the towel a few times.
Aiba-kun's face twisted slightly in discomfort, and I froze instantly.
"I'm sorry. Did that hurt?"
No answer came.
The furrow in his brow slowly smoothed out after a moment. His breathing didn't change, either.
I folded another towel and slid it under his pillow, slightly elevating his upper body so it would be easier on him if he started coughing again.
I pulled the blanket up to his chest. I didn't want to pile on too many layers since he had a fever, but I couldn't leave him chilled after being drenched in the rain.
I didn't know the exact right way to handle everything.
All I could do was take it one step at a time, doing whatever I could right now.
I moved the glass of water to where Aiba-kun could easily reach it when he woke up. I set it back from the edge of the desk so it wouldn't get knocked over if he tossed and turned, placing the thermometer right beside it.
Medicine crossed my mind, but I couldn't tell if it was meant to be taken right now, or if he needed food in his stomach first. I couldn't bring myself to wake him just to make a reckless guess.
I also needed to let his family know.
I glanced at the smartphone lying on the corner of the desk. The screen remained dark.
I started to reach for it, but stopped halfway.
It wasn't my place to unlock it on his behalf. Regardless of not knowing the passcode, I felt that touching it while he was asleep was crossing a line.
I had heard Koharu was at Sawamura-san's house, but I had no idea when she would be home. His mother was currently away at work, too.
If his fever spiked higher or his breathing turned labored, there would be no time for hesitation. If that happened, I would call for help immediately.
For now, Aiba-kun was sleeping peacefully.
Though his cheeks were flushed with fever, his lips hadn't lost their color. His breaths continued at a steady, rhythmic pace.
Having confirmed that, I sat back down by the bedside.
My suddenly empty arms felt terribly lonely.
Just moments ago, Aiba-kun's weight had filled them. I had felt his warmth, his breathing, and his tears at a distance where we completely melted together.
Even though I was the one who had laid him down, a sensation lingered in my arms as if still searching for the temperature I had just lost.
Still, I didn't want to rob him of his rest just to soothe my own loneliness.
I looked at his left hand resting atop the blanket.
His relaxed fingertips were parted slightly. I felt that if I took his hand, it might reassure him that he wasn't alone when he woke up.
However, that wouldn't be for his sake—it would be because I wanted to hold it.
Halting my reaching hand, I clasped my own fingers over my lap.
If I still wanted to touch him after Aiba-kun woke up, I could just ask him then.
◇◇◇
Outside the window, the rain continued to pour.
The drum of water on the roof and the sheets flowing down the glass blended together, shutting out the rest of the world.
Even in the fire, the noise had never stopped.
The emergency sirens. The sound of something collapsing. The crackle and roar of objects bursting in the flames. The uncontrollable coughing from inhaling smoke.
To keep me from succumbing to all of it, Aiba-kun had told me "it's okay" again and again.
That day, I had been much closer to him than I was now, yet I had barely been able to see his face. In all that smoke, the only thing I knew for certain was that Aiba-kun never left my side.
Now, I could see his face clearly.
His closed eyelids, the dried tear tracks, his cheeks flushed with fever.
I could see everything, right down to the fact that the right arm he had used to carry me out had been injured and still couldn't move freely.
Seeing it now hurt far more than back during the fire when I had been blind to it all.
Even while I was completely in the dark, this injury had never stopped tormenting him.
When he ran to the infirmary, when he walked through the rain holding the umbrella, and even when he smiled at me.
Yet, Aiba-kun had never tried to use his pain to hold me captive.
If he showed me the scar, I might not be able to refuse him. If I knew he was the one who saved me, I might try to get close purely out of debt or obligation.
Because he thought that way, he kept silent.
He waited until I came to know him at school as an individual person, completely separated from the fire.
And on top of that, until I myself wished to be by his side.
How could I not fall completely in love with someone like that?
Overcome by the emotions surging from deep within my chest, my breath hitched.
"...You're really not fair."
Even when I spoke aloud, Aiba-kun remained fast asleep.
Demanding nothing, waiting so that I could choose for myself, he had carried all that pain entirely alone.
And yet, at the very end, he had smiled and said he was glad I was safe.
If you look at me like that, of course I'm going to fall even harder for you.
You become so precious that the word "love" doesn't even begin to cover it.
I wanted the scar on his right shoulder to disappear. I wanted his fever to break, and when he finally opened his eyes, I wanted him to smile and tell me it didn't hurt anymore.
When that moment came, I hoped the person beside him would be me.
Not because he was my savior.
Not because of some debt from being rescued.
Simply because he was Aiba-kun.
Because he was the boy who had run through the rain, listened to my words, and believed in the choice I made.
Aiba-kun's breathing shifted slightly.
His body stirred, and a raspy sound leaked from the back of his throat. I immediately rose from my seat, but he didn't cough; he only let out a single deep exhale.
After making sure his breathing wasn't strained, I placed my hand on his forehead.
Still burning.
I couldn't tell with just my palm whether it had gone up any higher.
I hesitated over whether I should wake him to check his temperature, but Aiba-kun had only just managed to let go of his tension and sleep.
Checking his complexion and breathing once more, I gently pulled my hand away from his forehead.
"You can just keep sleeping."
As if returning what Aiba-kun had given me over and over during the fire, I spoke softly into the quiet room.
"Rest easy. I'm right by your side now."
There was no reply. Even so, the words hung gently in the air before melting away into the sound of the falling rain.
Sitting back down in the chair, I watched over his sleep, soothed by the steady rhythm of Aiba-kun's breathing.