[Naoki Aiba POV]
After Koharu and Sawamura disappeared into the first-year building, I headed toward the second-year classrooms on my own.
The chatter of arriving students echoed ceaselessly along the hallway extending from the entrance. Even though it was a path I had walked almost every day before summer vacation, today the sheer width of the hallway and the bustle of passing students felt subtly different.
I carried my bag in my left hand to avoid putting any strain on my right shoulder.
The bag itself wasn't very heavy. Even so, every time my arm swayed as I walked, a dull ache shot through the depths of my shoulder. The fatigue I hadn't felt right after leaving the house had gradually begun to accumulate from riding the train and walking from the station to school.
I supposed that was only natural, considering I had just been discharged from the hospital.
Mom and Koharu had told me over and over not to push myself. If I ended up feeling sick before school even started and wound up back in the hospital, I truly wouldn't be able to look either of them in the eye.
Going with the flow of the crowd, I climbed the stairs more slowly than usual.
Upon reaching the second floor, a male student walking toward me stopped in his tracks.
"Aiba?"
Hearing my name, I looked up.
"You really came to school?"
"Are you out of the hospital already?"
"I heard you were in an accident. Are you okay?"
Once one person noticed, other students reacted and began gathering around as well.
Word of my hospitalization seemed to have spread through our grade much more than I'd anticipated. Some had probably heard about the situation from their homeroom teachers, while others had likely found out through messages between friends.
"I was discharged yesterday. I still need treatment, but sitting through classes won't be a problem."
"Yesterday?"
"Normally, wouldn't you take at least another day off?"
"The doctor gave me permission."
I answered the same kinds of questions several times over.
There was no malice in their voices. Knowing they were genuinely worried, I couldn't bring myself to brush them off coldly.
"What kind of accident was it, anyway?"
Faced with the expected question, I chose my words carefully.
"There are other people involved, so I can't really go into detail. Sorry."
All that had been relayed to the school was that I had been caught in an accident over the break and hospitalized for my injuries.
Neither the fact that I had run back into the fire nor that I had rescued Mikage was known. Mom hadn't shared more details with the homeroom teacher than necessary, and I had no intention of spreading it myself either.
Because it wasn't just my story.
Right now, I had no way of knowing how badly Mikage wanted to keep the fire quiet. I wanted to avoid talking about it to the people around me, only for word to reach her through someone else.
"Well, guess it can't be helped, then."
"Still, glad you made it back."
"Yeah. Sorry for worrying you guys."
No one showed any dissatisfaction over my inability to explain.
The crowd gradually dispersed, and everyone began heading toward their classrooms again. Just as I was about to follow the flow, a familiar voice called out from behind me.
"Hey, Naoki."
Turning around, I saw Togo Makimura walking toward me.
With his neatly trimmed black hair, he wore his usual easygoing expression. Standing just over 170 centimeters tall, he was by no means short compared to the other guys around us. Even so, when he stood in front of me, Togo's gaze tilted slightly upward.
"You really came."
"I told you I was coming, didn't I?"
"I heard you, but normally, nobody expects a guy to show up at school the very day after being discharged."
"I've been told the exact same thing all morning."
"Your mom and your sister?"
"Bingo."
"Well, of course they'd say that. You always put on your best poker face right when you're pushing yourself the hardest."
"Don't start nagging like Koharu, Togo."
"Unlike your sister, I don't plan on fussing over every little thing. But if you look like you're about to pass out, I'll at least call a teacher."
"Don't talk like it's a foregone conclusion that I'm going to collapse."
Togo looked me over with a chuckle, his gaze lingering on my long-sleeved shirt.
"Aren't you hot?"
"I am."
"Then why the long sleeves?"
"To protect the wound. Apparently, it's best to avoid sunlight and friction for a while."
I wasn't lying.
However, if I revealed the location and cause of the injury, there was a chance it could be connected to the shopping mall fire. Since Mikage had been absent from school during the exact same period, it wouldn't take long for gossip-loving classmates to link our injuries together.
After staring at my long sleeves for a beat, Togo lowered his voice slightly.
"Is it that bad?"
"I still need treatment, but it's healed enough for me to come to school."
"What happened?"
There was no shallow curiosity in his voice.
Even while I was in the hospital, Togo had messaged me several times. He kept me updated on class progress and how things were going at school, but he had never pressed for details.
There was no way he hadn't wondered. Even so, he had chosen to wait until I was ready to talk about it myself.
All around us, arriving students were still filing past.
"Other people were involved. I can't talk about it just on my own judgment. Sorry."
"If that's how it is, I won't pry."
Togo backed off without hesitation.
"Tell me when you're ready."
"Yeah."
"Still, give me a pass for worrying precisely because I was in the dark. When I heard out of nowhere that you were in the hospital, you didn't answer my messages for the first three days."
"I replied as soon as I could, didn't I?"
"I'm saying those first three days felt like forever."
Beneath his teasing tone, an unmistakable relief seeped through.
"Sorry for making you worry."
"Look at you, actually being honest for once."
"Don't act so shocked just because I apologized."
"Guess getting hospitalized really can change a guy's personality."
"It hasn't changed."
Togo grinned and reached for the bag in my left hand.
"I'll carry it to the classroom."
"No need. I can carry it fine with my left hand."
"It's not about whether you can carry it; it's about cutting down on unnecessary strain. Your sister told you that too, right?"
"She did, but this has nothing to do with my right shoulder."
"Carrying a heavy load on just one side ruins your posture, doesn't it?"
He snatched the handle away.
Trying to take it back would force me to move my right arm, so I had no choice but to concede.
"Don't you go turning overprotective on me too."
"The homeroom teacher asked me to keep an eye on Aiba so he doesn't do anything reckless."
"First I've heard of that."
"I just told you, so it's not the first time anymore."
"That's just sophistry."
"If you've got enough energy to talk back like that, you must be in better shape than I thought."
I walked alongside Togo toward our classroom.
Hearing my friend's banter after so long felt like the exact school life I had pictured countless times in my hospital room. Even if things weren't completely identical to before, it reassured me that my place here was still waiting for me.
The moment we stepped inside, every eye in the room landed on me.
The silence lasted only a fraction of a second.
"Aiba!"
"You're out of the hospital?!"
"Can you move around normally already?"
Voices erupted from all over the classroom, and before I knew it, a crowd had gathered around my desk.
I had just answered the exact same questions in the hallway. Even so, I couldn't bring myself to look annoyed in front of people who were only concerned for me.
"Are you really okay now?"
"As long as I don't overdo it."
"What kind of accident was it, anyway?"
"Other people were involved, so I can't go into detail. Sorry."
I repeated the same explanation.
Simply saying I didn't want to talk about it would make it sound like I was pushing them away. But when I explained that other people's privacy was at stake, nobody pressed any further.
"Well, guess that makes sense."
"If you need a hand with anything, just say the word."
"Yeah. Thanks."
The circle gradually broke apart as everyone returned to their seats.
Togo set my bag down beside my desk and pulled out my chair.
"I'll keep an eye on you until lunch, so speak up if it starts hurting."
"Did the teacher really ask you to do that?"
"Half of it's true."
"And the other half?"
"Just me worrying on my own."
Togo answered without a hint of embarrassment and walked back to his seat.
I sat down.
The blackboard, the rows of desks, the students chatting with friends before morning homeroom.
A faint sense of detachment hung over the scenery, which shouldn't have changed at all.
What had changed wasn't the school, but me.
Neither the lingering ache in my right shoulder nor the way the smell of burning still flared up in the back of my nose were things I had known before the fire.
And I had never been so acutely aware that Mikage was somewhere in this very building.
The homeroom teacher walked in.
After offering a brief welcome back, morning announcements began as usual.
Even during class, my mind drifted toward the rest of the school several times.
Mikage should already be here.
We were in the same grade, but in different classes. If I didn't seek her out myself, the entire day might pass without us crossing paths.
Once I was discharged, I would tell her my name.
Last night, I had run through what to say over and over.
First, apologize for not being able to give her my name in the fire.
Then, introduce myself as Naoki Aiba.
If Mikage remembered the promise, I would tell her I hadn't forgotten either. Whether we actually went for crepes would be entirely up to her.
Reaching that conclusion was the only reason I had finally managed to fall asleep last night.
Every time I moved my right hand to take notes from the board, the skin around the wound pulled tight. Staying in the same posture worsened the pain, so whenever the bell rang for a break, I rested my arm on the desk and let the tension out of my shoulder.
Togo glanced over at me each time, but he never said a word.
Perhaps he knew I would only insist I was fine. Instead, whenever a teacher entered the room, he checked on me from where he sat, ready to speak up immediately if anything went wrong.
When third period ended, the homeroom teacher called me to the staff room.
He needed to hand over the materials distributed during my absence and go over the plan for physical education.
"Want me to come with?"
Togo started to stand.
"I can manage walking to the staff room by myself."
"If you're not back in five minutes, I'm coming after you."
"I'm not a lost child."
"You might have passed out."
"Don't jinx it."
Leaving Togo behind, I exited the classroom.
As I walked down the hallway, I found myself unconsciously scanning the faces of passing students.
Her bright ash-beige hair was easy to spot, even in a crowded school.
On the day of the fire, even surrounded by her friends, I had recognized Mikage instantly. That was how I had realized only three of them were among the evacuees.
If I hadn't seen Mikage that day...
If Koharu hadn't asked for that blue notebook...
I might never have realized that the person trapped inside was a student from my own school.
At the end of a chain of coincidences, Mikage was alive right now.
I stepped into the staff room and collected the handouts from my teacher.
PE was strictly observation for the foreseeable future, and I was permitted to leave early on days I had clinic appointments. If the pain or fatigue grew too severe, I was to head straight to the nurse's office, even in the middle of class.
They were almost the exact same instructions I had heard from Mom.
"There's no need to push yourself just because it's your first day back."
"I understand."
"Your mother warned me that your 'I understand' isn't entirely reliable."
"Mom told you that much?"
"It's only natural for your family to worry. Just making it to class today is plenty. If you feel sick, speak up immediately."
"Yes, sir."
With the explanation finished, I left the staff room.
Just as I reached the corner leading to the connecting corridor...
I spotted bright hair up ahead.
My feet stopped.
It was Mikage.
Beside her were the three friends who had been with her at the mall.
I had heard that Mikage had already returned to school after the fire, but this was the first time I was seeing her safe and sound with my own eyes.
There seemed to be a slight stiffness left in her right foot, making her pace just a fraction slower than the others.
Even so, her complexion looked healthy. Mikage offered a wry smile as the girl with chestnut hair falling to her chest said something to her.
It was completely different from the expression I had seen in that place trapped by flames and smoke.
When I found her, Mikage had been slumped against the wall, convinced no one was coming.
She had wept when I told her her friends were safe, and even when I promised she was going home, she hadn't been able to believe it right away.
Now, that same Mikage was walking beside the three of them, wearing our school uniform, chatting between classes.
She was safe.
She was back with her friends, laughing in the middle of ordinary life.
Just seeing that loosened the tight knot deep in my chest.
The four of them hadn't noticed me yet.
I could call out to her right now.
Mikage.
Call her to a stop, and tell her my name.
I was supposed to have rehearsed it in my head countless times since last night, yet facing her in the flesh made the back of my throat seize up.
Just as I prepared to take a step forward, the chestnut-haired girl asked her,
"What did the teacher say?"
"She said there's no word from the police yet. It looks like they're still checking whether they can deliver the letter."
"I see. I hope it reaches him."
"...Yeah."
Mikage's voice softened slightly.
A letter.
There was no need to ask who it was for.
Without my knowing, Mikage was still searching for the person who had gone back into the fire.
I had lost consciousness after promising to tell her my name without ever getting the chance, so it was only natural.
Even so, hearing it directly from Mikage's own lips sent a heavy jolt through my chest.
"There's also the chance he might refuse to accept it," the girl with short, dark brown hair pointed out evenly.
"Don't say things like that."
"It's just a possibility. If he hasn't given his name, he might have his reasons."
"I... I know that."
Mikage looked down slightly.
"If he doesn't want to tell me his name, I don't plan on forcing it out of him. I don't want to cause him any more trouble because of me."
Disappointment colored her voice.
Even so, there was no resentment toward the person who had withheld his name.
"Still, you want to see him, don't you?" the girl with jaw-length black hair gently pressed.
Mikage didn't answer right away.
Turning her gaze toward the window, she fidgeted with the hem of her skirt.
Eventually, as if conceding, she let out a small breath and nodded.
"...I do."
Along with those words, a soft blush spread across her fair cheeks.
"I want to hear his name, and I want to see for myself that he's okay. Besides... we made a promise."
"The crepes?" the chestnut-haired girl asked playfully.
"Yeah, but don't look so smug about it."
"I'm not looking smug!"
"Yes you are."
Even the tips of Mikage's ears were turning red.
The three of them seemed to have caught on to something, though Mikage herself didn't seem to realize what her friends' knowing looks meant.
A warm sensation welled up deep inside me.
She remembered.
Mikage hadn't forgotten the words we exchanged in the fire either.
Asking for my name, getting crepes together—none of it had been an empty distraction meant only to stave off terror.
Mikage was still waiting to see that promise through.
Just as I braced myself to call out, the black-haired girl spoke up quietly.
"What will you do if you actually meet him and he isn't who you thought he was?"
My foot froze mid-step.
"What do you mean, 'isn't who I thought'?"
"Inside the fire, you didn't know what he looked like or how he normally acts, right? Even if he made you feel safe when he saved you, there's always a chance your personalities won't click at all in everyday life."
"That's..."
The color in Mikage's cheeks drained slightly.
Rather than dismissing her friend's words, she seemed to be turning them over seriously.
"You don't need to force yourself just because he saved your life, Serina."
"I know that."
"Do you really?"
"...I know, but..."
After answering as if trying to convince herself, Mikage lowered her eyes.
"He got hurt like that just to save me."
Deep within my right shoulder, something tightened for reasons that had nothing to do with physical pain.
"Even if I meet him and he turns out a little different from what I imagined... I don't think I could ever bring myself to hate him."
I don't think I could ever bring myself to hate him.
Those words sank like lead into my chest.
Mikage remembered our promise.
She wanted to see me.
That was supposed to be everything I had hoped for.
And yet, I couldn't close the distance between us.
The person Mikage wanted to meet wasn't Naoki Aiba.
It was the person who had run back into the flames, carried her on his back, and dragged her out into the light at the cost of his own body.
She didn't know my face, my everyday voice, or how I carried myself at school. All she knew was the presence that had tried again and again to keep her calm while she was terrified.
If I gave my name right here, Mikage would surely be relieved.
Hearing my name and knowing I remembered the promise, she would probably come get crepes with me too.
But as things stood, I would never know whether that was what she truly wanted, or if she simply couldn't bring herself to refuse the boy who had saved her life.
When she looked at me as just an ordinary classmate, she might find me uncomfortable.
I had known long before the fire that Mikage avoided boys.
To Mikage, the version of me at school was just another guy to keep her guard up against.
What if, the moment she learned I was the one from the fire, she lost the ability to say no?
What if, despite wanting to keep her distance, she swallowed her discomfort and forced a smile every time she saw the burn on my shoulder?
What if even the promise of crepes was reduced to a burdensome debt of gratitude?
That wasn't the kind of connection I wanted.
I had gone back into the building to save Mikage.
I had wanted her to live and return to her friends.
I had no intention of using the scars I earned doing that to hold her feelings hostage.
I still remembered the promise to tell her my name.
I had no intention of breaking it.
But that name could never be allowed to become an obligation she couldn't refuse.
The mouth I had begun to open quietly closed.
I needed to maintain this distance—where she didn't know who I was—for just a little longer.
For now, this was for the best.
Someday, Mikage would get to know the Naoki Aiba who existed here at school, not the phantom from the fire.
And once she saw me as just another guy, if she didn't like me, she could say so.
If she didn't want me near her, she could push me away without hesitation.
Only when she had that choice, and still decided she wanted to fulfill our promise—only then would I know what Mikage truly felt.
That was my answer.
I had no doubts, and I didn't need anyone else to validate it.
Knowing that Mikage might compromise her own feelings out of gratitude or guilt, taking advantage of that to get close to her was the one line I refused to cross.
Before long, the warning chime sounded.
The students lingering in the hallway began heading back to their classrooms all at once.
"Come on, let's go."
"I'm coming."
Urged on by her friend, Mikage began walking again.
I stood frozen until all four of them had disappeared around the corner.
I had fully intended to call out to her.
Today was supposed to be the day I gave her my name and honored the promise we made in the fire.
Mikage had remembered too.
And yet, I had pushed the day of that promise further away with my own hands.
A dull ache of loneliness settled deep in my chest.
It wasn't that I regretted my choice to stay silent.
But knowing Mikage was actively searching for me, turning my back without a word couldn't possibly leave me unhurt.
I wasn't walking away because I had forgotten.
It was precisely because I hadn't forgotten that I couldn't go to her now.
Tearing my gaze away from the empty hallway, I headed back to my classroom.
When I slid the door open, Togo glanced between the wall clock and my face.
"Forget five minutes, that took fifteen."
"The teacher had a lot to go over."
"Just that?"
"Yeah."
Togo narrowed his eyes, sensing something.
Even so, he didn't press me on what I had seen in the hallway or who I had run into.
"You look pale. Want to go to the nurse's office?"
"I'm just a little tired."
"How's the shoulder?"
"Hurts worse than this morning. But not enough to keep me from sitting through class."
"Then stay in your seat until the next break. Don't go wandering off on your own this time."
"Got it."
"Now that's an answer I can actually believe."
With that, Togo headed back to his desk.
I sat down in my chair.
The pain in my right shoulder was sharper than before I had stepped into the hallway. My body must have tensed up unconsciously while listening to Mikage and her friends.
Resting my left arm on the desk, I slowly steadied my breathing.
Mikage was safely back at school.
Surrounded by her three friends, she was smiling again.
And she hadn't forgotten my name or our promise.
Under normal circumstances, that alone would have been more than enough to make me happy.
Yet the name I was supposed to have shared today remained trapped in my chest, with nowhere left to go.
The chime signaling the start of fourth period rang.
The teacher walked in and told everyone to take their seats. I opened my textbook and fixed my eyes on the blackboard.
My decision wouldn't change.
Not until Mikage came to know me as someone other than the boy who rescued her.
Not until she could accept the name Naoki Aiba completely free of debt and obligation.
Until then, I would keep it to myself.
Carrying only the quiet ache of having pushed back our promise with my own hands, I turned my focus to the lesson ahead.