Hephaestus System, Mercenary Management Organization branch.
Deep within the basement of a building with soot-stained exterior walls, that particular department lay hidden.
The Spoils Management and Captured Ship Processing Department.
It was a long-winded title, but in short, it was the window where mercenaries turned the junk they’d scavenged into hard cash.
"...Nobody’s here."
Beyond the automatic doors sat a dim office and a mountain of haphazardly stacked paperwork. Behind the counter, I could see an elderly staff member engrossed in a game of Solitaire on his terminal.
It was exactly what I’d expected. In most space battles, capturing a ship intact was a rarity. They usually ended up as space dust or were hauled straight to a junk shop as scrap. Most people didn't have the patience to go through the tedious bureaucracy required to bring them here.
"Excuse me, I have a request."
When I rapped on the counter, the clerk looked up with an expression that screamed bothered.
"Yeah, yeah... if you're looking to sell scrap, go to the weighing station out front. They buy by the kilogram."
"It’s not scrap. I’m here to sell ships—through the official channels."
"Huh? Ships?"
The clerk adjusted his glasses, eyeing me and the maid-clad android standing behind me with blatant suspicion.
"Kid, I’ll give it to you straight. You probably think you can fix up some wrecks you found and flip them, but it isn’t worth the headache. Hull number inquiries, title clearing, illegal modification checks... the fees alone will leave you in the red. Be smart: break 'em down and sell the parts."
The advice was likely born of kindness, but unfortunately for him, I’d already run the numbers.
"Never mind that. Just look at the data. Lucia."
"Understood. Transferring physical data and combat logs."
As Lucia connected to the terminal, the specs for the three ships and the footage of the engagement appeared on the clerk’s monitor. The man peered at the screen listlessly at first—and then recoiled a second later.
"What the—!?"
He stood up so fast he nearly toppled his chair, leaning in until his nose almost touched the screen.
"Hey, what is this? ...Generators are fully operational. Output levels are consistent... no, they’re practically too stable."
The clerk stared at the numbers on the monitor as if possessed.
"And the energy distribution to each system is incredibly well-organized. This is cleaner than some refurbished manufacturer models. Even the hull frame distortion rate... it's well within tolerance. For ships captured in combat, these numbers are..."
"I have a very talented mechanic named Mina. She worked through the night to get them ready. Two are flight-capable right now, and while the third is just a frame, it’s in pristine condition."
"No, maintenance aside... how did you even capture them in this state?"
The clerk’s hands shook as he played the combat logs.
The video showed the Sperm Whale’s beams burning away the pirates' thrusters with surgical precision, followed by a final zzt as the cockpits were vaporized.
"...Pinpoint shots to the cockpits? Three times in a row?"
The clerk’s neck turned with a slow, mechanical creak as he looked at me. His gaze had shifted; he no longer saw a young punk, but an unrecognizable monster.
"Who... who are you? Only a handful of regular army aces or Gold Ranker mercenaries could pull off a stunt like that."
"Just a passerby. So, are you buying?"
"A-ah! Yes! Of course! High-quality stock like this rarely comes through those doors!"
The clerk’s demeanor did a complete 180.
He closed Solitaire and pulled up his professional software. From that point on, it was a whirlwind of activity.
"Let’s see, first, a hull number inquiry! Cross-referencing with theft reports... found it! This transport ship went missing near Asteria three years ago. The title was transferred to an insurance company, so I’ll need to negotiate with them..."
"Don't forget the exemption filing for the illegal modifications. The generator output limiters were removed."
"I know! But in this case, the paperwork... let’s see, which form was it..."
It was clearly a quiet department most of the time. The clerk clutched his head, overwhelmed by the sudden complexity of the case. Lucia offered a helping hand in her usual cool voice.
"In this instance, the submission of 'Form No. 4: Spoils Detailed Report' and an 'Illegal Weapon Neutralization Certificate' is required."
"A-ah, right. You’re well-informed."
"I have already prepared the documents and uploaded them to the Organization’s server."
"What!? Already!?"
A cable extending from Lucia’s fingertip was plugged directly into the counter terminal. The clerk’s eyes darted back and forth as data was processed at lightning speed.
"Okay, then next is the tax declaration and—"
"Processed. I have submitted it in an optimized format, including the refund procedures."
"So fast!?"
I truly was lucky to have such an excellent secretary.
"...The process is complete. Please provide the final appraisal," Lucia stated with a composed expression.
The clerk, still dazed, read the calculated total aloud.
"Uh... hull appraisal, maintenance bonuses, pirate subjugation bounties, minus the various fees... the total comes to 1,815,000 credits."
"1.81 million!?"
I leaned in despite myself.
It far exceeded the 1.2 million I’d anticipated. It seemed Mina’s perfect maintenance and Lucia’s bureaucratic wizardry had successfully avoided any major deductions.
"Yeah, it’s the maximum possible value. No complaints here. Honestly, when a job is this clean, there’s nothing to find fault with."
The clerk looked utterly drained, yet he pressed an electronic seal onto the document with an air of satisfaction. An electronic seal? Are those still a thing?
"The procedure is finished. The funds will be deposited into your account immediately."
"Much appreciated. ...Oh, that’s right."
I pulled an unused credit chip from my pocket, held it to the terminal to process a transfer, and then slid it across the counter.
"What’s this?"
"I like round numbers. 1.8 million is my share. The remaining 15,000 is for your trouble."
"15... 15,000!?"
The clerk’s eyes went as wide as coins.
At a dead-end basement desk like this, his salary must have been a pittance. 15,000 credits was likely equivalent to three months of his normal pay—a fortune.
I thought I heard him gulp.
"...Heh. You’re a class act, boss. Refusing a little 'under-the-table' gratitude would be bad for the soul."
The clerk glanced around with trembling hands before quickly, yet carefully, tucking the chip into his pocket. His face was a mask of pure delight. That was easy.
"I suspect this department is going to be getting a lot busier soon. Wherever I go, pirate ships tend to be found 'accidentally intact' more often than not."
"...I see. So that’s how it is."
"Coordinate with the other branches in the neighboring systems. Let them know there’s a mercenary who brings in complicated paperwork, but top-tier products."
"Got it. ...I’ll remember your name."
The clerk smirked and gave a sharp nod.
Hopefully, this would cut down on the bureaucratic headaches in the future.
"Well then. Now we have plenty for Mina’s bonus and our next round of supplies."
"I suggest that after purchasing Miss Mina’s reward, we use the remaining funds to upgrade the living quarters and secure more ingredients," Lucia added.
"Yeah, I'm on it. First stop, a furniture store. I’m going to give her a room that’ll knock her socks off when she finally wakes up."
We disappeared into the crowds of Hephaestus.
Our next goals: furniture for Mina and a habitat of "heat-resistant ivy."
A sinecure department needs to be... just a little bit loose like that, after all.
Next time: A reward for Mina and, finally, the ingredient hunt!
If you enjoyed this chapter, please click the "★" button! It might just help Akito’s dinner tomorrow night get a bit of an upgrade. Thanks for reading!