Once I spilled the whole story, Melissa sank into dejection, while Lu's Mom clamped her hands over her ears, repeating over and over, "I didn't want to hear this!"
Hahaha!
A total victory for me!
"C-Captain... are you really okay with that? You don't even know your own mother's name..."
"Weeeell, probably, you see. I'm guessing at first, my biological mother said something like, 'Don't you dare tell that filthy child my name!'~"
Even as I explained it, something snagged in the back of my mind.
What was it—like a tiny fish bone caught in my throat?
"Then, without knowing it, I went and crushed the noble house she fled to. When she realized what a bad spot she was in, she probably tried to come forward and make herself known. But I bet Wifey told her, 'Keep your end of the contract and I'll let you live. Step forward, and I'll purge your whole family.' Well, to be precise, there's no way Wifey would meet with her directly, so it was probably some terrifying higher-up from the military."
Was it someone connected to Pigetto who handed down that ultimatum to my birth mother?
It had to be someone pretty high-ranking.
Maybe His Excellency the former General Takakura?
No... both of them were far too important to bother meeting with a criminal.
Maybe it was someone from Isono's house, or Melissa's Family Home.
Amada was with the police, so probably not him.
Hmm, I really just wanted to know whom I owed a favor to.
I'd ask Wifey later and send them a thank-you note along with some good booze.
Keeping track of these debts and favors was essential.
It wasn't just about repaying an obligation; navigating the delicate web of personal relationships was what truly mattered.
At the very least, it was necessary to convey directly to the person that Leo Kamishiro Chronos, the King of Chronos, was grateful.
There was no need to spell out the exact reason, of course.
It was all about reading between the lines.
Give and take. That was the golden rule.
"I don't want to hear this! I don't want to hear any more of thiiis!"
Lu's Mom screamed.
"See? Look at that! It's the gritty, ugly reality the media loves so much~"
I flashed a villainous grin.
It was the truth, after all.
The fact that my birth mother had abandoned me wasn't something I could have controlled anyway.
Even if it became public knowledge, it wouldn't hurt me in the slightest.
In the first place, it was hardly news that nobody knew what kind of nobody I'd originally been.
Backbiting? Who gave a damn about the chatter of small fry.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaagh! I feel so embarrassed for thinking I was the most pitiful person in the world! Your backstory is way too heavy, Captain!"
Melissa buried her face in her hands and kicked her legs in frustration.
"Melissa... it's not heavy at all. It's completely outside my control, so I bear zero responsibility for it..."
Look, look! Aren't these the eyes of pure innocence?
"Besides, my lingering question of 'Did my mother treat me a bit rougher compared to her real kids?' has finally been cleared up. She was just horribly clumsy about it, but she really was trying to protect me. Though it did reaffirm that my father is completely hopeless, obviously."
This also explained why my mother, a former court lady-in-waiting, had ended up marrying someone like my father in the first place.
Under normal circumstances, she would have been drawn into the Duke Association or the Chamberlain Staff.
She was probably exceptionally capable, but her blunt, unrefined way of life must have made her a thorn in their side.
Feigning idiocy just to dodge an indirect assassination order... that was the ultimate sly-fox maneuver.
She had definitely earned the Duke Association's lasting grudge, though.
"H-How are we supposed to report this...? N-No, maybe sweeping it under the rug entirely is the best move..."
Lu's Mom clutched her head, muttering under her breath.
"'Tragedy of War: The King Unknowingly Crushes His Birth Mother's Household,' or 'The Tyrant's Royal Scandal'—feel free to run whatever headline you like. Honestly, the usual comedy angle works great too."
"D-Department Head... No, may I check with the company president first...?"
"Go right ahead, go right ahead. I'll make sure my people don't pressure you."
Going in completely unguarded—the no-guard tactic—was truly the ultimate defense.
Especially when dealing with the press.
No matter what they said about me, it wouldn't faze me in the least~.
Of course, if anyone dared speak ill of my wives or children, I would kill them.
I would hunt them to the farthest reaches of the universe and slaughter them.
"Melissa, what do you want to do about your own mother?"
"I want to punch her."
"I hear that!"
I couldn't help but wholeheartedly agree.
It made total sense.
In my case, once the facts clicked into place, the anger evaporated, and I felt no desire to see her again.
I still felt like punching her even now, but honestly, it was purely out of the sheer frustration of what an enormous pain in the ass the whole thing was.
I held no deep-seated grudge.
Even my curiosity about my own roots had withered away.
After all, she had already ruined herself so thoroughly that there was no point in kicking her while she was down.
Besides, I had already indulged in that baby roleplay not too long ago.
On top of that, I was thoroughly fulfilled right now, both as a pilot and as a martial artist.
My self-worth wasn't going to waver over something like this.
"If you're going to abandon your kid, the least you can do is stick to your guns!"
Melissa puffed her cheeks in indignation.
Fair enough.
Melissa was a sensitive soul, after all.
Whereas I was pretty nonchalant about the whole thing.
And so, I smiled.
Ah, my poor older brother, who never even had the chance to be born.
Wait.
Something caught in my mind.
Why did I just assume it was an older brother?
Something had been feeling off for a while now.
"Hnnnnnnnnnngh...?"
Without warning, my vision and thoughts began to drown in pitch blackness.
My legs gave out, and I crashed to my knees.
"W-What's wrong, Captain?! Hey! Dear!"
Calling me "Dear"? How scandalous!
...Except I didn't even have the luxury to make that joke.
Suddenly, a violent static tore through my mind.
What was this? It felt as though I had inadvertently brushed against something that must never be touched...
A terrifying sensation, like stumbling straight into a forbidden taboo...
A trickle of warmth ran from my nose.
What is this?!
Dark, thick blood began spilling from my mouth as well.
An ulcer?
No, wait—my recent medical checkup came back completely clean.
Then why?
"Call a doctor! This is Melissa! His Majesty has collap— Leo has collapsed!"
What was happening?
What had just gone wrong?
Right at that moment.
Zashiki-warashi manifested before me.
"Ah, Goddess! My husband is—!"
"Big brother touched the Star God's taboo. I'll save him right now!"
A taboo?
Where in the world was there a taboo?
In a simple, mundane story about a sloppy woman ruining her own life?
That poor child...
I see... I'm not the original Leo, am I...?
The original Leo was the child who died before drawing breath.
And I'm just a madman who convinced himself he was reincarnated...
No, not quite that. Proving reincarnation was impossible anyway, so I had to shelve that idea for now.
I was a bugged character, inserted by Zashiki-warashi and the higher powers.
Right. It had been unnatural from the very start.
The original Leo was supposed to be an arrogant, entitled brat whose passing grades were bought through his parents' noble influence.
Yet my family never possessed that kind of leverage, and more to the point, my academic standing was legitimately at the top of the class.
However... what if a healthy child had been born back then, allowing the family to smoothly establish ties with the Duke Association?
Then that scenario would have been entirely possible.
The true nature of what I had always taken to be a game remained completely unknown.
It wasn't something I could ever unravel.
Yet there was one undeniable fact: because the threads of causality had been altered to make me Leo... Wifey had been saved.
Which meant the reason I existed as Jester...
Was it all part of a god's grand design?
No... there was no way they were manipulating destiny with that degree of meticulous calculation.
They had simply scattered random, uncertain variables across the board—and out of all of them, the one that happened to succeed just happened to be me!
"Guh...!"
The instant I reached that revelation, I violently vomited a torrent of blood.