Walking up close to Gilbert and his lackeys, I dumped the pitcher of water right over his head.
"Wha—?!"
The entire diner fell into stunned disbelief. Amidst the unnatural silence, only the sound of Faf munching away on her food echoed with striking clarity.
"You bastard! Do you have any idea what you've just done?!"
The attendant in pure white armor standing behind Gilbert drew his sword, leveling its point straight at me.
"What's wrong? Come on."
I beckoned him over with an upturned left palm.
"Insolent brat! How dare you disrespect His Highness! I'll sever your limbs and drag you to the magistrate!"
Spouting words utterly unfitting for a knight, he swung his blade straight down at my right shoulder. Judging by his strike, he was dead serious. For any ordinary youth, that blow would have proved fatal long before they ever reached a magistrate.
"Scum to the very end, aren't you?"
I caught his blade barehanded with my right hand.
"Wha—?!"
As his eyes went wide with shock, I swept his legs out from under him. He spun cleanly through the air several times before slamming face-first into the floor. A wet crunch signaled the shattering of his nasal bone.
Flipping the groaning young knight onto his side with my foot, I stomped down on his face.
And then,
"Asta, pass me a skewer and an empty plate."
I barked out the order.
"Understood!"
Grinning ear to ear in sheer amusement, Asta tossed over an empty plate from the table along with a discarded wooden skewer resting on it.
Catching the plate with my left hand and the skewer with my right, I plunged the skewer through the knight's cheek, pinning him to the floor, and stepped on him again.
Amidst his piercing screams, I used the empty plate in my left hand to scoop up the food Gilbert had splattered across the floor. Then, walking back over to Gilbert's group,
"Move."
I looked down at the red-haired boy still sitting next to Gilbert and gave the command.
"..."
The red-haired boy merely stared up at me without twitching a muscle.
"I said—move!"
I roared at him.
"Y-Yessir!"
Tumbling out of his chair, the red-haired boy scrambled away from me in a panic.
Gilbert still hadn't grasped the situation. Sitting down in the seat right beside him as he stared at me blankly, I set the plate of mashed-together floor scraps right in front of his face.
"Eat it."
I gave the command in a firm tone.
"D-Don't mess with me! As if I could ever eat that!"
Grabbing the collar of Gilbert's shirt as his face flushed bright red in protest,
"Listen closely. Saying food tastes awful is completely fine. People have their own preferences, and honest feedback serves as fuel for a chef's growth. But at the very least, you judge a dish after taking a bite. Don't throw a temper tantrum! Don't spit on people! And above all, don't waste food! That's basic common sense in human society. You broke that rule. So now, you have to clean up your own mess. Understand?"
I spoke to him as if admonishing a child.
"I-Insolence! I am the First Prince of the Holy Amelia Kingdom—"
Annoyed, I released his collar, grabbed the crown of his head, and shoved his face straight into the messy pile of food. When dealing with a beast that won't listen to reason, you use brute force. That was a truth I had learned through my years in the dungeon.
"Enough out of you. Eat it before running your mouth. I'll let go once you've finished."
"Mmph-gah-geh?!"
Ignoring Gilbert's pathetic muffled squawking, I kept his face buried firmly in the food.
Perhaps fearing he might suffocate, Gilbert finally gave in after a few minutes and began to eat.
And then—
"Kai, I'd appreciate it if you left it at that."
Hearing a deeply exasperated, weary voice from behind, I turned to see a blue-haired man with stubble on his chin resting a greatsword over his shoulder.
"Yo, Al. You were here too?"
Glancing back over my shoulder, I raised my left hand in greeting at our reunion.
"Yeah. Some important, bothersome meeting is being held here, you see."
Arnold offered a shrug of his own.
With Arnold's appearance, the boys serving Gilbert—who had been trembling in tears until now—all ducked behind him at once. Abandoning your master just to save your own skin, huh? What grand loyalty you have.
Well, there was an exception, I suppose. The freckled boy had just stepped forward a moment ago, trembling as he apologized and pleaded with me to stop.
"So, will that do?"
"Yeah, that's enough to tame a beast."
I had to give the freckled kid some face, and I figured it was about time to wrap things up anyway. Besides, Gilbert had already eaten about two-thirds of the food on the plate. That should serve as plenty of discipline for a spoiled prince.
Stepping away from Gilbert, I pulled the skewer out of the knight who was still wailing in pain, retrieved a high-grade potion, and sprinkled it over him to restore him completely. A high-grade potion could heal an injury without leaving a single scar. People like him were bound to whine incessantly about lingering scars later on, after all.
Sure enough, as soon as the knight recovered, he scrambled to his feet and pointed a trembling right index finger at me.
"Knight Captain Arnold! This guy... this guy threw water on us, injured me, and on top of that, he dared to—to Prince Gilbert—"
He desperately pleaded his case to Arnold.
"An injury? Where?"
"He stabbed me right here with a skewer just a second ago! You saw it too, didn't you?!"
"Can't say I did. What about you, Minister of Military Affairs?"
Arnold asked the dapper man grooming his fine Kaiser mustache behind him.
"I saw nothing either."
The answer came without a second of hesitation.
"Wha—?! B-But you two—"
"More importantly, Senior Knight Tamuri, I have already received reports regarding your conduct here. In the first place, this is not the Holy Amelia Kingdom! Your actions drag our homeland's name through the mud! Have you no shame?!"
Brushing him off harshly, Arnold hoisted the dazed Prince Gilbert—whose face was stained with tears, snot, and food—onto his back.
"The rest of you, move out!"
He urged them along.
"Well then, Kai, see you around."
With a wave of his right hand, he strode out of the diner.
To the very end, only the freckled boy offered me a deep, polite bow before hurrying off after Arnold.