Ch. 67

Chapter 31: The Most Incompetent in the World

Riding on Phoenix's back, we arrived in the sky above our destination—the city of Balse—in under ten seconds.

Looking down, I saw a horde of beast-headed monsters swarming toward the hunters.

It looked like Arnold and the rest of the hunters were still alive, so we had made it just in the nick of time.

"I will handle things here. Elders, please wait inside the city. Phoenix, lower Master Aaron and the others down into the city below."

"As you command!"

"Wait, Kai—"

Rose started to say something, but paying her no mind, I dropped toward the earth.

I made landfall squarely on a sheep-headed monster that was about to attack a dark-skinned woman in revealing clothes, crushing it beneath my feet.

This woman... wasn't she the one peeking at that farce in the back alley? Well, in a situation like this, it hardly mattered.

I swept my gaze across the battlefield, searching for worthy opponents, but there were only small fry after all. Or rather, I couldn't tell any difference between them. If pressed, I'd say that pervert wearing a cloak over just a pair of briefs seemed awfully arrogant, so he was probably their boss. In my experience, packs of monsters like this operate under the law of the jungle, meaning he should be the strongest.

Aside from him, there were those monsters with the heads of a wolf, a tiger, and an eagle. The outfits they were wearing were military uniforms from an otherworldly realm, weren't they? You see, the books I found in that dungeon meant exclusively for the weakest had detailed descriptions of other-worldly festivals. Apparently, crowds of imaginative people would gather to dress up and show off clothes and styles that imitated characters from stories.

Yes, if I recall correctly, it was called "cosplay," and the practitioners were called "cosplayers." Most likely, those perverts shared the same hobby. In that case, did that make them monsters from another world?

Even Arnold seemed to have been defeated, so that cloaked pervert and the military-uniformed monsters were surely equipped with ability-limiting items like mine. I couldn't afford to let my guard down.

Now then, time to get to work.

First—.

"Do not move. Take even a single step, and I will kill you on the spot."

Just by casting my gaze around the perimeter and giving that order infused with killing intent, nearly a thousand beast-faced monsters froze, unable to take even a single step. Hah! They weren't even worth discussing.

Using the Subjugation Compendium, I designated thirty Healing Slimes and executed "Release."

"Heal the humans here."

As if saying they would do their best, the Healing Slimes jiggled, approached the wounded hunters, engulfed their bodies, and mended their wounds in an instant.

"I-Is that a Healing Slime?!"

The eagle-faced woman in the military uniform let out an absurdly shrill squawk.

Ho, so these grotesque things knew about Healing Slimes, did they?

"Why is a supreme kin of Apollo in this land?!"

"Don't be stupid, that must mean the Heavenly Army is here!"

"In that case, is that guy a subordinate of Apollo?!"

The wolf-faced and tiger-faced ones chimed in as well, getting worked up over some nonsensical topic and shouting.

"Silence!"

When the red-haired pervert in the cloak roared a rebuke, the three hastily snapped to attention.

All the composure that had constantly lingered on the cloaked pervert's face vanished, and he narrowed his eyes, scrutinizing me carefully.

"The intimidating glare to terrify my sweet boys, and the power to command even the fastidious and haughty Healing Slimes. Just who... are you?"

"Hmm, I am Kai Heinemann. The most incompetent man in the world."

I didn't mean to demean myself. That was simply my origin, my beginning.

I didn't view my title as pessimistically as those who slandered it. Rather, I even thought it was a blessing to be incompetent. Thanks to that, I was never jerked around by intangible, flavorless, odorless things like Gifts.

"Are you mocking me? There is no way such a 'Lord Incompetent' could terrify my sweet boys like this!"

The cloaked pervert looked spitefully at the beast-faced monsters, who were still paralyzed and sweating profusely, as he spat those words.

"It is no lie. It's the truth. More importantly, undo those ability restrictions right now. Otherwise, this will be over in an instant, you know?"

I drew Murasame from my Item Box. It had been a long time since I faced a strong foe. For the future's sake, this was a golden opportunity to learn the power ceiling of this world.

"Ability restrictions? Whatever do you mean by that?"

"Hm? That's why I'm telling you, whether it's an item or a skill, deactivate that splendid small-fry camouflage. Give it your all against me, just like you did against the knight captain. That is all I'm asking."

"T-To think you would call me a small fry?!"

The cloaked pervert hurled a furious roar at me, his voice trembling with rage.

"No, no, that's not what I said. Deactivate your current small-fry camouflage. That's all. You wouldn't want to die while slacking off either, would you?"

For my part, I would also be able to gauge the pinnacle of strength in this world. It was what one might call a win-win relationship.

"Pochi, Mike, Piko, kill this obnoxious piece of trash!"

"Sir!" the three barked in unison.

In an instant, the beast-headed military cosplayers surrounded me and leveled their respective weapons. It seemed this military-clad idiot trio was capable of withstanding my intimidation. Well, they might have just been exceptionally dull.

At any rate, measuring an enemy's strength by testing them against subordinates was a standard tactic.

If that was the case, I would skillfully carve up these small fry first to make him take me seriously.

"You're dead meat!"

The wolf-faced monster pointed the tip of an iron axe at me, flashing a sneer.

"Indeed. Calling Lord Pazuzu of all people a small fry is the height of ignorance."

The bird-faced woman agreed, twirling her spear as she boasted.

"To think you have the honor of dying by our hands—Pazuzu's Three Beast Warriors—huh?"

So you finally noticed? That's what happens when you carelessly step into my striking range. It seemed they were merely dullards after all.

"Sorry. I've already cut you."

I had already sliced through the three of them at blinding speed. So they couldn't even perceive the movement? Even so, I made sure to cut each of them exactly a thousand times.

"N-No wa—"

"That's impossi—"

As they sputtered their final words, fine lines fractured across their entire bodies.

The next instant, they collapsed into pulverized heaps of minced meat.

"..."

For a moment, the cloaked pervert stared blankly at the gory remains of his former subordinates sinking into pools of blood. When he turned his gaze back toward me, I gave him a bright smile.

"—?!"

With just that, the cloaked pervert sprang backward as if launched by a coiled spring and dropped into a defensive stance.

"I'll repeat myself. Hurry up and deactivate that small-fry camouflage."

I issued the demand in a quiet tone that brooked no argument.

"J-J-Just who on earth are you?!"

"Huh? I introduced myself a moment ago. I'm Kai Heinemann."

"That's not what I mean! Which faction's agent are you?!"

To the cloaked pervert rapidly spitting out incomprehensible questions, I sighed.

"To still be spouting such pointless drivel at a time like this. So you're looking down on the incompetent me, are you? In that case, if I kill all of your subordinates, will you get a little more serious, I wonder?"

"What do you mean by—"

Ignoring the fellow desperately blabbering, I rested my hand on the hilt of Murasame and drew a breath.

"True Kai-Style Swordsmanship: One-Sword Style, Fourth Form—"

Threads of magic power surged from me, racing across the wasteland and ensnaring every single one of the nearly one thousand beast-headed monsters. And then—.

"Arachne."

Along with those whispered words, the blade cleared its scabbard.

With a heavy thud, the beasts' heads dropped to the ground, followed by their headless torsos collapsing like puppets with their strings cut, spraying fountains of blood. Without exception, more than a thousand beast-faced monsters were reduced to silent corpses.

The technique just now was True Kai-Style Swordsmanship—Fourth Form, Arachne.

This Fourth Form spread sensory threads of magic power in all directions, delivering a single spatial slash to anything caught in the web, completely ignoring distance. It was something I had stumbled upon by accident when trying to see if I could bridge slashes across space using the Kai-Style Throwing Technique.

Naturally, the detection range of the magic threads was nothing impressive, and above all, the destructive power amounted to only a single strike, so it wouldn't be very effective against a truly powerful opponent. In short, it was merely a technique for mopping up small fry.

"..."

Glancing around to take in the sight of his slaughtered army, the red-haired cloaked pervert's face twitched violently.

"Well now, do you understand? I am not weak enough for you to hold back."

"I see... So you're an assassin god sent by the Heavenly Army?!"

An assassin god? Was this guy right in the head? There was no way gods existed in this world. Playing make-believe deity at his age? No, perhaps this guy was a pitiful monster suffering from "chuunibyou," an affliction frequently described in those books from the dungeon for the weak, where adults still clung to the delusions of thirteen-to-fifteen-year-olds.

"I see. It seems you're suffering from a troublesome illness. That must be really rough."

Well, I didn't feel a shred of sympathy, so I was going to kill him on the spot anyway.

"How utterly insufferable you are! But either way, if I leave you alive, you might become an obstacle to those noble lords. Therefore—"

"Therefore?"

"I shall slaughter you right here!"

Letting out a bestial roar, his entire body began to creak and crack as he transformed.

His muscles swelled further, bat-like wings tore from his back, and his visage morphed into that of a scaly reptile. What should I do? Normally, I would chop him to pieces in the middle of such a defenseless transformation, but... perhaps gauging my own standing in this world took precedence right now. If I didn't take a risk here, it would surely come back to bite me later. I had a feeling it would. Although it went against my principles, I should probably wait and see.

"..."

The transformation finished, and after staring at him in silence for a moment with my mouth slightly agape, I spoke.

"Don't tell me... is that your true form?"

I barely managed to squeeze the question past my lips.

"Yes, this is me! It's too late to cower now! You slaughtered my subordinates, and you shall pay for it in full with your body and soul!"

It was hard to believe, but it seemed to be the truth.

"To think this is how the curtain falls..."

My chin sank as if reflecting my profound disappointment, and I exhaled a long, deep breath from the depths of my lungs.

"Splendid! Isn't it wonderful?! A mighty warrior like you, terrified by my overwhelming power, sinking to your knees! I adore this sight!"

"In the end, I was too late again, wasn't I...?"

Otherwise, there was no way such a small fry could have defeated the kingdom's strongest knight captain, a Royal Guard. Surely the true powerhouse defeated Arnold, left this place in the hands of this underling, and departed. This cloaked pervert had mentioned "those noble lords," so there was little doubt about it. In the end, I missed my chance to clash with someone truly strong, leaving me completely in the dark about my standing in this world. Damn it! Not this pattern again!

"What nonsense are you babbling about—"

The cloaked pervert thrust his right arm toward me.

"Shut up! I'm in the middle of being thoroughly disappointed!"

I drew Murasame and sheared off his right arm in a single stroke.

"Gugyaaaahhh?!"

Watching the cloaked pervert shriek in agony, I lost every shred of interest.

Scowling, I passed judgment.

"Enough. I have no business with small fry like you. Die."

"W-Wait—"

He desperately tried to leap backward to escape, only to tumble onto his backside. And then—

"Huh?"

His gaze landed on a pair of legs standing upright right in front of him.

"Wait, are those... my legs?"

Realizing the truth, he shrieked again.

"I-I won't do it again! I'll never lay a finger on this world ever again!"

"I'm sick and tired of entertaining your delusional rants."

Glancing down at the screaming cloaked pervert, I flicked the blood from the blade and returned Murasame to its scabbard.

"Y-You're sparing me?!"

"Sparing you? You really do say the funniest things."

There was no way I would let a pest and an enemy of humanity walk away. The only reason I sheathed Murasame was that my work was already finished.

"Eek! W-What is this?!"

Countless geometric lines fractured across his entire body. Slowly, the segments began to slide apart.

"My face, my body is falling apart!"

The red-cloaked pervert desperately tried to hold his collapsing form together, but—

"Igyaaaahhh!"

With a final death rattle, he collapsed into scattered, diced blocks of flesh.

Good grief. Just when I thought I could finally measure my strength against this world, the true powerhouse had already left, leaving me stuck with the lowest of the low. Lately, that seemed to be the only role I ever got.

Letting out a heavy sigh, I petted the Healing Slimes—who had finished their work and were eagerly begging for praise—to my heart's content, returned them to the book, and began trudging toward the city of Raise with slumped shoulders.

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