The third day of the wedding arrived.
It was Japanese-style, featuring ceremonies at the temples and shrines.
It started with a Shinto wedding ceremony.
Wifey wore something like a junihitoe or itsutsuginu-karaginu-mo. Even though her features weren’t Japanese, she looked stunning in it. I wore a montsuki hakama. Perhaps because I was used to such attire from my swordsmanship training, it suited me well enough.
However, being without a weapon made me uneasy. Wearing a hakama while carrying nothing felt inherently nerve-wracking. At the very least, it was better than a tuxedo.
As for the ritual itself... I had no idea what was going on. After all, the person in charge of religion at my family home was a part-time monk who had taken a correspondence course. There was no way I could understand the complexities of this.
Perhaps the shrine staff realized that, because they had changed the ceremony into something easier to follow. It couldn't be helped. I hadn't been in contact with any of this since I was a child, so the meaning just passed right through my brain. I believed in Zashiki-warashi, and my funerals were handled via Gaming Buddhism, but that didn't mean I actually understood the inner workings.
One might think, "Is this guy an idiot?"
But wait. Isn't it inevitable for one’s understanding to be low regarding things that aren't strictly necessary for daily life? And yet, these subjects were so deep that you needed a mountain of books for even a shallow understanding. On top of that, there were countless sects, each with their own local rules. It was thoroughly unfriendly to beginners. That went for all theology and philosophy!
Anyway, the ritual prayers were currently passing through my head. After I had worn the expression of someone who had just lost their entire fortune in a bad investment for a while, it was time for the outfit change.
I stayed in the montsuki hakama. It turned out our family crest was the Rokumonsen. Oh, wow. They probably just picked it at random with a family crest generator. There was absolutely no way I was a descendant of the Sanada clan. That much I could guarantee.
The sutras of the Buddhist wedding ceremony also passed through my head. I didn't understand a single thing. The only parts I caught were when my name and Wifey’s name popped up occasionally. Was that Sanskrit? I didn't really know.
I endured this part too, wearing the expression of a man who had gone bankrupt. It was fine for a guy to be like this. Wifey was smiling; I gathered she was in a good mood. For the time being, I just kept my mind a blank until the ceremony ended.
Then came the standing buffet party for the nobles. It was a buffet style simply because there were too many people to seat. I was supposed to wear a tuxedo... but because it looked so bad on me, I changed into my military dress uniform.
Ta-da! It was the dress uniform I was used to wearing. I was, after all, a Grand General of the Galactic Empire Space Marines! I joined the party with Galactic Empire rank insignia and medals jingling all over me. Wearing this many actually made me feel embarrassed. I thought about taking a few off.
But whoa... I had achieved so much in the Zork War that there weren't any medals I could actually remove. Even though I had discarded things like the "I Learned How to Take Off and Land a Humanoid Fighter Medal," and even my Advanced Combat Engineer certification medal, others had taken their place. Medals like the "Supreme Officer’s Medal," the "Most Outstanding Warrior Medal," and the "Galactic Empire’s Most Outstanding Pilot Medal" had increased.
I looked like some cigar-chomping macho dandy. They should have given these to the Space Raiders, Huma-san, or Pigetto instead of me. My true identity was "Level 3 Potato-Digging Certification," "Level 3 Fig-Cultivation Certification," and "Roasted-Potato Certification Black Belt 3rd Dan." It was so embarrassing that I tried to make myself small as I entered the venue.
Kawagon, entering stealth mode...
"Lord Groom, do not make such a face!" Wifey laughed.
"But... there aren't any I can take off, so I’m all jangly like some dictator. It’s embarrassing..."
I looked like nothing but a dictator padding his record. I looked like an idiot. I wished I could have cut it down to at least three. I usually wore about half this many.
"The Chamberlain Staff said they could not be removed, so it cannot be helped. Tonight is different from usual. It is not just military personnel here. There are many who do not know of my Lord Groom’s fearsomeness."
"Don't they know because I crushed the Duke Association?"
"Most believe that We were the one who did it."
"Then that's fine! Let it be the Great Wife and her incompetent Groom!"
"That would trouble both Us and Towa. Towa is the next Emperor of the Galactic Empire; the son of the great warrior King Leo of Chronos, who struck down the Zork and saved the Empire, who brought peace by forming alliances with the nations of Outer Space that were in a state of civil war because of the Corpse Eaters, and who rose to be a king in a single generation!"
"Even though my true self is a potato-grilling kaiju..."
"Do not raise Towa to be a kaiju..."
"I ended up a kaiju even though I was raised by a childcare robot... poor me..."
"...Is that so. That is the problem. Look over there."
Wifey turned her gaze toward the various Generals. They were looking our way with filthy smiles on their faces.
"They probably intend to put Towa at the top of the military."
"He'll be at the top eventually, right?"
"Eventually is fine. Those people intend to make him the top right now."
I tell you, they were looking this way with greedy grins. Their eyes were flashing, and I could practically see an ominous aura radiating from them. It was probably just my imagination, though.
"Wifey... let's work hard to protect our child!"
"Umu."
We had to protect him from our allies too. Ah... so this was the phenomenon where being at the top made you lonely. I finally understood the wisdom of the Sankin-kotai system—stripping away power while circulating money throughout the country. I would be sure to shove plenty of administrative drudgery onto them in Chronos to wear them out.
"Wifey... I think we should make the military do a bit more production work."
I gave a dirty smile. I would shove so much busywork down their throats! Don't underestimate a Friendly Devil!
"Indeed."
She gave a wicked smile too. Now then, it was time to enjoy the buffet party.
The festivities were set to continue for three days and three nights. If I ate and drank at full power now, my body wouldn't hold up. I only had a tiny bit of alcohol, just enough for a taste.
I decided to ignore the sight of Rikochi drinking massive amounts. It was my fault for putting the highest-grade Japanese sake in front of her; even I couldn't stop her. Melissa, who was pinning her hopes on conceiving, didn't touch the alcohol. Ren was busy recharging her power with her beloved meat dishes.
Claire was talking business with the Agricultural Nobles. Tatiana was in idol mode, surrounded by monks and Shinto priests. One-O-One was talking about recent events with nobles who had family members that had undergone Zork-ization.
It wasn't just nobles who had been cut off. Many had protected their family members by letting them escape to One-O-One's protection. While reports on their status were sent sequentially, they likely wanted to hear the news in person. I had even prepared terminals for calls. Some nobles were glaring at those... but they behaved themselves because I and Wifey were there.
After all, we had made peace. Besides, there were many nobles who had family or relatives who had undergone Zork-ization—especially the houses that had married into the Duke Association's lineage. Many houses from every faction had married into the Duke Association as insurance for a rainy day. Even the military factions hadn't been in total opposition to them.
Because of that, houses that ended up with Zork-ized members were being pressured from below and told not to hide it from above. If they tried to cut them off... if it were me, I’d see it as a chance for an uprising and snitch to the Emperor immediately. The house might not be dismantled, but the head of the house would definitely be replaced. In war, the winning side is expected to maintain higher ethics.
And so, the first day’s banquet drew to a close... or so I thought.
A warehouse at the spaceport had been set on fire.