After dinner, I was in the living room watching TV with Mika.
The program was titled "The Grand Athletic Meet of Explorer Comedians." True to its name, it was a sports variety show featuring a large number of explorers. Apparently, thirty explorers had been split into Red and White teams to compete against one another.
"They're even making special programs like this now, huh?"
"I guess so. Still, there are actually quite a few people in the entertainment industry who work as explorers."
"That's true. Well, they say most of them supported themselves with part-time jobs before they made it big. It’s not that surprising that some of them take up explorer work as a 'side gig.' It’s practical, and it gives them a unique selling point for shows like this."
"Hmm, makes sense."
As I chatted with Mika, the program began.
"All right, here we go! It's time for the Grand Athletic Meet of Explorer Comedians!"
"It's finally starting~!"
"Recently, we've seen a string of massive new records set by explorers at various sporting events. There's even a movement to create separate categories for participants in every discipline."
"It's been quite a hot topic. After all, the gap between the records of explorers and non-explorers is just too wide~."
"Exactly! Therefore, to answer the question of just how well explorers can actually move, we've gathered comedians who work as explorers on the side for this Grand Athletic Meet! By the way, today's event is being held at a rented-out track and field stadium."
"Ooh! Clap, clap, clap!"
With the vast stadium track as a backdrop, the show opened with an energetic announcer in a tracksuit and a commentator with a laid-back vibe.
"Now, let's explain the events immediately. There are five competitions in this meet: the 100-meter sprint, the 10,000-meter run, the high jump, the long jump, and the shot put!"
"It's all track and field~. I thought it would be an obstacle course like S〇S〇K〇."
"The purpose of this meet is to confirm the basic physical abilities of explorers. We chose events that are as easy to understand as possible."
"I see~."
"Points are assigned to each event, and the team with the highest total points at the end will be the winner."
"So it's a battle for points!"
"Precisely. Now, let the Grand Athletic Meet of Explorer Comedians begin!"
The show cut to a commercial.
"A pure contest of basic physical ability... I wonder if there are restrictions on using skills or magic?"
"Hmm, they didn't say anything about that. Does it really change things that much if they use them?"
"Well, it depends on what kind they use."
While I was talking with Mika, the short commercial ended and the program resumed.
After finishing their warm-ups, the explorer comedians split into their Red and White teams and moved toward their respective tents.
"Now, let's start the first event immediately. The first event is the 100-meter sprint! Participants, please move to the starting line!"
"Come on, double time~."
Urged on by the relaxed commentator, the participants wearing Red and White bibs jogged from the tents at the edge of the field toward the starting point.
However...
"Th-They're fast."
The announcer groaned involuntarily.
And for good reason. Even though they were supposedly just "jogging" to the start, the contestants were moving as fast as professional sprinters.
"T-This makes me really look forward to the actual race..."
"No, if they're like this just moving around, I'm scared to see the real thing..."
"Y-You might be right."
The athletes gathered at the starting line.
"I will now explain the rules. In the first and second qualifying heats, three people from each team will participate."
"The top three from each heat will advance to the final race. Points will then be awarded to first, second, and third place in that final match."
"Now, let's begin. Those participating in the first heat, please enter your lanes."
Three people from each team stepped forward, entering their respective lanes while being introduced.
Some prepared for a standing start while others took a crouching position, but they all exuded an aura that showed they were dead serious about taking first place.
"It looks like everyone is ready. On your marks... Get set... Bang!"
The moment the blank shot fired, the runners exploded off the line.
At that exact instant, the runners vanished from the camera's field of view, as it had been zoomed in to catch the start. By the time the broadcast hurriedly switched to a wide-angle shot, the athletes were already halfway down the track. It was a neck-and-neck battle, but after passing the 80-meter mark, the group began to spread out. The lead runner, pulling away from the pack, raised his hand in a victory pose with only three meters left to the finish line—when the runner at the very back suddenly underwent an unnatural burst of acceleration.
With only 50 centimeters left to the goal, he lunged into the lead and crossed the finish line in first place.
"G-Goal! A massive upset! Crossing the line in first is Lane 3, Mita from the Red team!"
"...Did he just do a weird double-acceleration?"
"Yes, he definitely did. Ah, it looks like the times are coming up."
The rankings and their respective times were displayed on the stadium's electric scoreboard.
The winning time was 5.94 seconds. Converted to speed, that was roughly 60 km/h. It was a crushing new world record.
Incidentally, every other athlete had also clocked in under seven seconds.
"5... 5.94..."
"Haha, that's an incredible time~."
"Wait a minute. Uh, if you convert that to kilometers per hour..."
While the announcer tilted his head in confusion, a conversion formula appeared as a caption at the bottom of the screen.
"Does that mean they were running as fast as a car?"
"Looks like it. It seems the cameramen couldn't keep up because the athletes were faster than expected."
"Haha... Whew."
After letting out a weary sigh, the announcer moved to interview the winner.
"Hmm. Just now, at the very end, he used either an evasion-type or a speed enhancement-type skill."
"The part where the person in last place overtook the guy in the lead?"
"Yeah. The acceleration was weird, right? If it were a physical enhancement-type passive skill or support magic that temporarily boosts stats, they would have been fast from the very beginning. Since he used it at the very, very end, it was definitely an active skill."
"I see. But if that's the case, shouldn't he be disqualified? They said the purpose of the meet was to see basic abilities..."
Just as Mika suspected, Mita was disqualified for being caught using an active skill.
However, although he put on a huge display of over-exaggerated regret, he didn't actually look disappointed in the slightest.
"...He's a comedian through and through."
"Yeah. It looks like he decided it was better to stand out by using a skill and getting disqualified than to finish in last place without being noticed at all."
Mika and I were both impressed by Mita's comedian spirit.
He was currently receiving some rough "punishment" from his teammates, but even those hitting him looked like they were just playing around, as if to say, "You really pulled it off, you dog."
Despite the disqualification drama, the heats proceeded smoothly until the final.
"All right, it's time for the final. The athletes look ready."
"Since it's a race between the top performers, I expect a close contest. I'm looking forward to this~."
"Indeed. Now, on your marks... Get set... Go!"
The blank shot rang out, and the runners took off in unison. Sprinting at speeds even greater than the qualifiers, they stayed in a single horizontal line as they tore across the track and through the finish line in the blink of an eye.
"Goal! First place goes to the White team! Second and third place go to the Red team!"
"They're fast. They were all holding back in the qualifiers, weren't they...?"
"It seems so. And now, here are the times."
The results of the final were shown on the scoreboard.
1st place: 5.46 seconds. 2nd place: 5.49 seconds. 3rd place: 5.55 seconds.
"Another incredible record has been set!"
"...Are these really human records? I did a quick search on the internet, and they actually rival the fastest dog, the greyhound."
The screen switched to a commercial while showing the contrasting reactions of the announcers—the excited play-by-play man and the stunned commentator. I suppose the commentator's reaction was the more normal one.
Tilting my head, I looked up "greyhound" since the word had come up. I found a video of a dog race. When I played it with Mika peeking over my shoulder, it looked almost exactly like a canine version of the race we had just seen. Just as the commentator said, they really did rival the world's fastest dogs.
Not that I'm one to talk.
After the 100-meter sprint, the meet continued with the high jump, the long jump, and the shot put, each producing a series of astonishing records.
In the high jump, the average was 10.3 meters and the maximum was 12.5 meters. The standard high jump equipment wasn't nearly tall enough, so they had to hastily bring out pole vaulting mats and bars.
During the long jump, records with an average of 20 meters and a maximum of 23 meters were set. The sand pit wasn't long enough, so they had to let the athletes take off from the triple jump line instead.
By that point, everyone was worried the shot put field wouldn't be big enough either, so they had the contestants throw from the very back of the track... and even then, the average was 83 meters and the maximum was 88 meters, landing right at the edge of the field.
"Now, after all those shocking results, we've finally reached the last event. The 10,000-meter long-distance run!"
"We've seen nothing but amazing records so far, so I'm sure this 10,000-meter run will be no different~."
"Most likely. For this race, all twelve participants will start at once and complete twenty-five laps of the 400-meter track."
"By the way, the current world record is 26 minutes and 17 seconds. I can't wait to see what kind of time they set here."
"Indeed. Ah, it looks like they're ready."
At the starting line, the athletes in their Red and White bibs waited impatiently for the signal.
"Now for the final event, the 10,000-meter run. On your marks... Get set... Bang!"
The moment the blank shot fired, the athletes performed a start-dash like Formula cars. As they headed into the first corner, a fierce battle for the inside lane broke out. The ones who claimed the corner were the three from the White team. They spread out across the track to block the inside lane, suppressing the front of the pack. The Red team tried to break through the trio's block and jump into the lead, but the defensive line was solid. Having no choice, the Red team decided to wait for an opening, sticking close to the leaders to maintain constant pressure.
The athletes continued to lap the track at high speed. When they reached the final third of the race, the Red team made their move. Three Red team members swerved wide into the outside lane, aiming for the lead from the far exterior. Distracted by this movement, the White team's block wavered, and a gap opened up. Seizing the moment, three other Red team members who had been masking their presence on the inside lane lunged forward. They squeezed through the opening and shot ahead of the White team trio.
To decide the race in one go, the Red team athletes who had jumped into the lead began their final spurt. The White team followed suit, and the race transformed into an all-out dash. After a neck-and-neck battle of repeated overtaking, the matter was finally settled.
The White and Red teams fought until a single meter before the finish line, but the one who won the battle by a nose was the White team.
"Goal! First place is Miyazono from the White team! Unfortunately, coming in a close second is Otani from the Red team! And third place is Nonaka from the Red team!"
"That fight lasted until the very last second."
"Yes. Oh, it looks like the race times are coming up."
The rankings and times were displayed on the scoreboard.
1st place: 9 minutes, 37.54 seconds. 2nd place: 9 minutes, 37.56 seconds. 3rd place: 9 minutes, 38.32 seconds.
The difference in time between the first and last athletes to finish was less than five seconds.
"That was a tremendous battle."
"It really was. It was like watching a race of thoroughbreds."
"I agree. Well, that concludes all the events for the Grand Athletic Meet of Explorer Comedians. Next will be the closing ceremony and the results announcement."
The screen switched to another commercial.
"...That was incredible. Onii-chan, can all explorers do things like that?"
"Hmm? Well, it depends on their level, but it’s definitely possible."
"What about you?"
"If you're asking if I can do it, then yeah, I can."
From what I could see, the levels of the comedians on TV were probably around 20 to 30. Movements of that caliber were easily possible for me, of course, and even Yuji or Hiiragi-san could pull them off with ease.
In the center of the field, the Red and White team athletes had gathered.
"All right, everyone, thank you for your hard work. We will now begin the closing ceremony. All events have concluded and the points have been tallied, so it's time for the results. Please look at the scoreboard."
The athletes' gazes focused on the electric board.
"Now, the results. If you please!"
The points for each team appeared.
Red Team: 14 points. White Team: 16 points.
Sighs leaked from the Red team, while the White team erupted in joy.
"Red Team, 14 points! White Team, 16 points! Therefore, the winner of this meet is the White Team!"
Upon hearing the declaration, the White team athletes began cheering and tossing their teammates into the air. The Red team athletes also sent applause their way, albeit somewhat reluctantly.
"With that, we conclude the Grand Athletic Meet of Explorer Comedians!"
"Thank you for your hard work today, everyone!"
As the announcers gave their closing remarks, the end credits began to roll and the program ended.
"Ah, it's over."
"Yeah. It was a bit of a gimmick show, but it was pretty entertaining."
"Yeah. But based on those results, I wonder if sports meets really will start being separated into those with explorer experience and those without, like the announcer said?"
"Most likely. Even if there's a difference in skill, the gap in basic physical ability is just too massive for it to be a fair fight..."
Well, except for super-class humans like Juzo-san.
With only a decent level of skill, it would be difficult—or rather, impossible—for a normal person to overcome the difference in raw physical ability compared to an explorer.
"Well, whether they actually separate participants is up to the organizers. There's no point in worrying about it too much."
"I guess, but..."
Still, they'll probably be separated in the end.
Thinking about the changing world, I continued to lounge on the sofa and watched the next program with Mika.