"Ha!?"
Suddenly, having received poison radio waves from a parallel universe, I screamed at the top of my lungs.
"It’s April 15, 2026! It’s April 15, 2026, Hinata-san!!"
"W-What’s gotten into you all of a sudden, Takeo-kun!? It’s not 2026, and it’s definitely not April 15th!"
"Hinata-san! Do you have any idea what day it is today!?"
"You're ignoring me even more than usual today...! U-Umm, today... I mean, is that date supposed to be special? Nothing's coming to mind."
"That's right! It is a special day! The truth is..."
"The truth is...?"
"The truth is... it’s the release day for Volume 1 of Leveling Fanatic, Hinata-san!!"
"Leveling... Fanatic...? Sorry, what is that? If it’s 'Volume 1,' is it a manga or something?"
"What are you saying, Hinata-san!? Leveling Fanatic is the title of the light novel we're in!"
"Huh!? It is!? Wait, you said 'we'... does that mean me, too!? Why!? What does that even mean!? I don't understand at all, Takeo-kun! Frankly, the idea that I’m being featured in some book I've never heard of is terrifying!"
"Don't worry. This is a story about a parallel universe that has nothing to do with us."
"That’s not comforting at all! What do you mean!?"
"It seems Leveling Fanatic is one of the titles written by Tennen-sui Coffee."
"Tennen-sui Coffee!? A drink? An actual beverage wrote it!?"
"So it seems."
"What's that other universe even like!?"
"I couldn't say, but seeing as a beverage is working as a novelist, it doesn't exactly sound like a sane world."
"No kidding...!"
"Anyway, I have only one thing to say. Everyone! Please buy Leveling Fanatic Volume 1! Buy a copy to keep, a copy to share, and a copy for practical use! Just buy lots of them! Please!!!"
"Takeo-kun!? The stream is cut off, so who are you even talking to!? Besides, it's wrong to tell people to buy three copies of the same book!! What about the people who buy digital versions!?"
"—Ha!? Y-You're right...!! As expected of Hinata-san, you always catch the important details..."
"I didn't want to catch it, but my daily experience of playing the straight man to your antics wouldn't let me stay silent...!!"
"True, there will be those who purchase the digital version. However, the will of Tennen-sui Coffee—the poison radio waves I received—says he wants people to buy as many physical copies as possible!!"
"I see... (How greedy for a beverage...)"
"Therefore, I would like to tell everyone the benefits of buying the physical book!!"
"Takeo-kun, what are you to Tennen-sui Coffee anyway??? Are your parents being held hostage or something???"
"First, let's talk about the store-exclusive bonuses! If you buy Leveling Fanatic at Melonbooks, get this!! You’ll receive a limited SS as a bonus!!"
"That’s a pretty standard bonus."
"The title is 'Hinata, Heart-Pounding'!!"
"Why!? What on earth is written in that story!?"
"That is a secret only those who purchase the book at Melonbooks can know, Hinata-san."
"Even though it's about me!?"
"Next, let's talk about the bonus from Animate!! This one also comes with a limited SS!!"
"You've already moved on!?"
"The title of the Animate bonus story is—'Leveling Fanatic, Heart-Pounding'!!"
"............Takeo-kun."
"Huh? Hinata-san? Are you mad about some—"
"I wonder who exactly you're feeling 'heart-pounding' for? Care to enlighten me?"
"T-That’s a secret for the people who buy it at Animate, so I can't ans—"
"I’m going to get angry."
"You're already angry, Hinata-san!!? W-Wait, s-stop—!? L-Let’s talk—Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!!?"
"Now then, shall we return to the topic, Hinata-san...?"
"You're still going."
"Even if this body is shattered to bits, I will see this through to the end...!!"
"What is driving you to this point, Takeo-kun!?"
"Anyway! As I was saying, if you purchase Leveling Fanatic at Melonbooks or Animate, you’ll get those limited stories!! So everyone, please head to your nearest Melonbooks or Animate branch!!"
"You're way too desperate, Takeo-kun!!"
"Of course, I won't let you regret buying it at any other store either!! Leveling Fanatic Volume 1 is genuinely useful!!"
"Umm... it's a light novel, right? How is it useful???"
"Heh, actually, Leveling Fanatic is a massive volume exceeding 400 pages, Hinata-san."
"It really is thick! And I don't think that's something to be proud of!?"
"Which means you can use it as a blunt weapon!!"
"I really don't think you should!!"
"Additionally, it’s perfect as a pot stand, a weight to keep cup ramen lids closed, and so much more!!!"
"Is that really how you want to advertise it, Takeo-kun!?"
"Furthermore! Leveling Fanatic Volume 1 will save your lives!!"
"I am absolutely certain it won't!?"
"For example—imagine you're walking through town and you're suddenly attacked by a man with a dagger... that kind of thing happens, right?"
"It does not! Even if it did, it would only be to a very specific group of people!?"
"But even then, if you keep Leveling Fanatic Volume 1 tucked under your shirt, that thick, 400-page book will act as a shield and block the blade!! It's armor!!"
"It might block it, but you can't just keep a book under your clothes all the time!?"
"And so!! Please consider Leveling Fanatic Volume 1—the ultimate multi-functional tool for blunt force, kitchen utility, and personal defense—and buy it today!!"
"Takeo-kun! Why are you trying so hard!?"
"Because—the first week of release is everything!!"
"!? What do you mean!?"
"The first week of sales basically determines whether the next volume of Leveling Fanatic ever sees the light of day!! So everyone, please, I beg of you, buy it within the first week!!"
"I don't know why you're so frantic... but if you're going to promote it, shouldn't you give people information that actually makes them want to read it?"
"!? You're right!! Then allow me to introduce the single greatest selling point!!"
"Y-Yeah... you should have started with that..."
"The biggest selling point is the array of transcendently beautiful illustrations by Tatsuya Nakanishi-sensei!! Compared to those, the text is basically just a bonus!! The artwork is incredible—my own peak scenes, and illustrations of Hinata-san's 'this and that' are absolute must-sees!! Honestly, you can just buy it as a Tatsuya Nakanishi art book and it’s perfectly fine!!"
"It is not 'perfectly fine', Takeo-kun!? Putting aside whatever you're doing, what do you mean by 'this and that' about me!? What did they draw!?"
"Please buy the book and find out for yourself!!"
"Jeez!! I don't even know what's going on, and we can't even buy it in this world anyway!?"
"That’s why I'm asking the readers!! Please buy it!! Preferably the physical copy!! Buy as many as you want for your collection, for your friends, for blunt weapons, for pot stands, weights, or armor!!"
"Someone is going to get mad at you for those taglines! Is this really okay!?"
"If everyone buys enough physical copies, it’ll get a reprint!! A hit reprint! I really want to hit a reprint, so please help me out!!"
"Takeo-kun!! The term for a hit reprint is pronounced shuttai, not deki!"
"!!!???"
"............"
"............Reprint! Hit reprint!!"
"............"
"Anyway, please buy it! Everyone, please buy it!! I’m asking for your support for Leveling Fanatic! Thank you!! That's all!"
"It’s finally over..."
"Phew..."
"Takeo-kun? Are you okay? You look completely drained."
"Yes, I’m fine. I’m just a little relieved the promotion is finished."
"Even though we don't know if anyone will actually buy it?"
"Yes. But... now that I’ve done the promotion... Father and Mother’s lives are guaranteed...!!"
"Wait, were they actually being held hostage!!?"