The next morning.
"Ms. Shizune. Good morning."
"Yes, good morning."
When I woke up, Ms. Shizune was already on her feet. Not a single strand of her long black hair was out of place, and since she had already changed into her maid uniform, she had clearly been up for a while.
"Breakfast is ready. Would you like to eat now?"
"Yes... Thank you."
I moved the partition to clear some space for the table. In the process, I must have made a bit too much noise, because Hinako woke up. I expected her to drift back into a second sleep, but the moment our eyes met—
"Mmm... huh!?"
Hinako’s eyes flew wide open, and she bolted upright.
"Morning, Hinako. You’re up early today."
"...I—I’m going to wash my face."
Her face flushed a faint pink, and she scrambled into the bathroom.
Something was definitely off. I had hoped she would be back to normal after a night’s sleep, but...
While I tucked the futons into the closet and set up the table, Hinako returned.
"Let’s eat."
Since we were all awake, breakfast for three had been laid out. The menu consisted of bacon, omelets, vegetable salad, and bread—a classic Western-style spread. To start, I reached for the glass nearby to refresh my throat. It was filled with something resembling vegetable juice.
"Did you make this yourself, by any chance?"
"Yes. I tried my hand at making smoothies with the blender we bought last night."
As expected of the Head Maid. Everything she did was professional. The bacon was perfectly crisp, and the omelets were wonderfully fluffy with a gooey center.
I was busy being impressed by Ms. Shizune’s culinary skills when I noticed Hinako staring blankly at her plate, not having taken a single bite.
"I guess I have no choice."
During lunch breaks at Kikou Academy, Hinako occasionally fell into this kind of daze while we ate our bentos. I scooped up a bit of omelet with a spoon and held it toward her mouth.
"Here."
I figured she wanted me to feed her, as usual. But Hinako looked at me in shock.
"Wh-wh-wh-No...!"
"Eh? Then why aren't you eating?" I asked, putting the spoon down.
Hinako looked away, her head bowed. "Y-You’re too close..."
Through the gaps in her amber hair, I could see her ears had turned as red as apples. Was she talking about the distance between us? We were sitting side by side, but the gap wasn't any different from when we ate back at the manor.
"But Hinako, you always drop your food if I don't help."
"Ugh."
Even the "true" Hinako, without her perfect lady facade, could eat normally—but she often got distracted or sleepy and ended up spilling things. Preventing those accidents was part of my duty as her caretaker.
"I—I'll try my best today...!"
With that, she began stuffing food into her mouth. But because she was in such a rush, a piece of egg got stuck on her cheek.
"Hinako. Stay still for a second."
I grabbed a paper napkin from the center of the table and wiped her cheek. "There, got it."
I vaguely recalled doing something similar at the beef bowl shop. But unlike back then, Hinako began opening and closing her mouth like a fish out of water.
"Auuuuuuu!"
"Hinako?"
She turned beet-red, looking utterly mortified. We did this all the time... what on earth was wrong with her?
◆
By noon, I was working on my daily studies. Today was math. During yesterday's study session, Tennoji-san had suddenly come up with a problem I couldn't solve, making me realize I needed to spend more time reviewing.
There was a lot to be gained from studying with others. Back when my life was consumed by part-time jobs and I had no time for a social life, I never would have realized that.
I suddenly felt a gaze on me and looked up. "Hinako, what is it?"
"N-Nothing." She abruptly looked away.
But as soon as I focused back on my work, I felt it again.
"Hinako?"
"It’s nothing."
"You say that, but you’ve been staring for a while now..."
"............It's just your imagination."
It definitely wasn't. I touched my nose and cheeks, wondering if I had something on my face, but there was nothing.
The clock on the TV stand showed 2:00 PM. Outside, the afternoon air was calm and peaceful.
...It's almost time for Hinako’s nap.
On holidays, Hinako almost always slept at this time.
"Hinako, should I bring out the futon?"
She shook her head awkwardly. "................I—I’m not sleeping today."
"Eh?"
That was impossible. Not sleeping? There was no way the Hinako I knew would ever say those words. For a fleeting second, I wondered if this was an impostor, but I dismissed the ridiculous thought and decided to check my next suspicion.
"Hinako."
"N-Eh!?"
I put my books aside and moved closer to her. I brushed her silky hair away and placed my palm against her pale forehead.
"...Good. You don't have a fever."
I had worried her strange behavior was a sign of illness, but that didn't seem to be it. I was glad she was healthy, but Hinako backed away from me with teary eyes.
"Uuuuuuuuuuu!"
"Hinako?"
She covered her face with both hands as if trying to hide her red cheeks and let out a long groan.
◆
Night fell. The temperature was low for summer, and once the sun went down, a pleasant breeze drifted in.
After finishing dinner, I sat watching TV and thinking.
...Is she avoiding me?
During dinner, Hinako had sat diagonally from me instead of right next to me. Sitting directly across would be one thing, but sitting diagonally felt like a deliberate choice. I might have been overthinking it, but compared to our usual closeness, it felt like she had retreated miles away.
"I—I'm taking a bath by myself today, too...!"
"O-Oh, okay."
She was definitely avoiding me. I watched Hinako disappear into the bathroom and slumped onto the floor, my head in my hands.
"Itsuki-san, pull yourself together."
"...I’m fine. But getting rejected two days in a row... I must have done something..."
"If you think about it rationally, taking a bath with a member of the opposite sex your own age is what’s actually abnormal."
"...True."
His logic made sense for a moment.
"N-No, but! We’ve been doing it together until now!"
"Until now is what was strange."
"Well, that’s...! I mean, I guess, but...!!"
I couldn't argue with that. Even if our past behavior had been "strange," the question was why the change was happening now.
Come to think of it, Hinako had avoided me occasionally before. For instance, there was a time she asked Ms. Shizune to wake her up instead of me. I never did find out the reason back then; time had simply resolved the issue.
Should I wait this time, too? But I didn't think I could stay calm like this.
"...Could you try asking her for me, Ms. Shizune?"
"Very well."
Ms. Shizune looked toward the bathroom door. "Young Lady. Itsuki-san says he would like to wash your hair."
"I—I can't...!!"
Hinako’s voice was firm. It was a very forceful rejection for her.
"No way...!"
This time, I truly collapsed. I can't—the words echoed in my mind. To be rejected so thoroughly... I didn't think I’d recover for a while.
"...This was an oversight. I intended to watch over the Young Lady patiently for her sake... I didn't realize I would be the one to suffer a heavy blow as well," Ms. Shizune muttered, hand to her forehead.
Just then, the bathroom door clicked open a crack.
"Sh—Shizune..."
"What is it, Young Lady?"
"...I forgot to bring my underwear."
Hinako sounded mortified. Hearing her voice, I saw a chance to redeem myself.
"I-I'll get it!"
"...I think you should stop right there."
"It's fine! I used to help her change all the time!"
I hurried to Hinako’s bag by the closet. Finding what I needed, I rushed back to the door.
"Here, Hinako! I brought your panties!"
I held the white undergarment out in front of the door. Naturally, I kept my eyes tightly shut so as not to see Hinako’s body. I desperately hoped this would fix her mood, but—
"~~~~~~~~!!"
Hinako let out another groan and snatched the underwear from my hand.
"P-P-Pe..."
"Eh?"
"Pervert...!!"
The door slammed shut with a violent bang.
"Per...!?"
What did she just call me? I was so shocked I forgot to breathe.
"I-Itsuki, stay out of the house for a while...!!"
Those words were like a knife to the chest. Stunned, I walked out the front door.
◆
Five minutes later.
The chilly wind helped cool my head, and I finally came to my senses.
"...I am a pervert."
Why did I do that? I must have been panicking because I felt the distance growing between us.
Ever since last night... no, ever since the Summer Seminar ended, Hinako has been acting strangely. And yet, I was the one making things worse. I didn't know whether to wait or to act. I thought I should act, and in my meddling, I failed miserably. It was too late now, but this was clearly a time when I should have waited.
But waiting was painful. It was easier on the mind to keep moving. That was why I had acted. I told myself it was for Hinako, but in reality, I just wanted to stop being anxious.
I’m so immature...
As I crouched outside, the front door opened.
"It seems your head has cooled down a little," Ms. Shizune said, looking down at me. "I was kicked out as well."
"Eh?"
"The Young Lady says she wants to be alone for a while. This house was never designed to provide much privacy."
That was true. When I lived here, my parents were usually gone, and I was always out at school or work. It hadn't mattered then, but with three of us here all day, it was different.
But still...
"I can't imagine Hinako caring about being alone..."
She usually took every opportunity she could find to sleep in my room. She had never seemed to value solitude before.
"Perhaps she will start caring from now on."
Was that another one of the changes that Ms. Shizune considered a good thing? At least for me, Hinako’s change brought nothing but confusion.
◇
(Uuuuu~~!!)
Having sent the other two away, Hinako buried her face in a cushion and writhed.
She felt guilty for putting them outside, but right now, she desperately needed to be alone. She had never felt this way before.
(Why doesn't Itsuki feel anything...!?)
This morning, this afternoon, and just now! She was so nervous her heart felt like it would burst, and yet Itsuki remained perfectly calm.
(I need to... research more.)
To settle this strange mood, she needed proper knowledge. With that thought, Hinako picked up the shoujo manga she had borrowed from Yuri.
The protagonist, a high school girl, was having a meal with a handsome boy from her class. They were eating pasta when the boy suddenly brought a napkin to the girl’s mouth.
—You’ve got a little something here.
He wiped the sauce away with a refreshing smile.
Thump! The girl’s cheeks flushed as her heart skipped a beat. Hinako’s eyes widened at the scene.
"H-He's doing... he’s doing exactly what the manga does...!"
She remembered Itsuki wiping the smudge off her cheek that morning. She had realized the manga she borrowed from Yuri was about romance. If Itsuki was doing the exact same things as the boy in the book, why was he so unfazed?
(...Maybe Itsuki is just like me?)
Maybe he didn't understand romance either. Maybe that was why he could do those things so casually.
(I have to ask him.)
Clutching the manga, Hinako cracked the front door open. Peeking outside, she saw Itsuki and Ms. Shizune chatting amicably.
"But Ms. Shizune, if you replace cooking utensils that often, isn't disposal a hassle?"
"They can be sold secondhand. According to the supplier, there’s high demand from privately owned restaurants. We occasionally buy secondhand ourselves. For instance—"
They were talking about work. They both had fulfilling expressions as they discussed the nature of service.
(...They really do get along.)
Hinako felt a sharp pang of annoyance. It was just like the manga. Lately, she had been feeling this a lot. Did Shizune even realize it? Whenever she spoke to Itsuki, she became far more talkative than usual.
(Those two... they’re similar in a lot of ways.)
Because Hinako had been watching them both so closely, she had noticed the parallels. Itsuki and Ms. Shizune were both incredibly serious. They were also both surprisingly obsessive. Once they decided to learn a subject, they both mastered it thoroughly, and when the chance to practice came, they both insisted on some specific personal touch "since they were doing it anyway." Ms. Shizune went out of her way to make smoothies for breakfast; Itsuki added secret ingredients to his curry. They both loved those little individual flourishes.
"...Itsuki."
Hinako spoke up, interrupting their conversation.
"Ah, Hinako!?"
Itsuki’s eyes widened in surprise. Ms. Shizune looked surprised as well, but Hinako found it hard to meet her gaze right now, so she kept her eyes on Itsuki.
"Hinako... um, sorry about earlier. I wasn't thinking."
"...That’s fine now."
It wasn't really fine, but she had something else she needed to ask.
"...Do you know about this?"
Hinako showed him the manga in her hand. Itsuki’s eyes turned into dots.
"Shoujo manga? Why do you have that?"
"I borrowed it from Hirano-san."
"So that's what was in the paper bag," Itsuki muttered. "I don't know much about shoujo manga... but that one, Manjuu Over Flowers, I borrowed from Yuri once too. I think I read up to volume five."
"............Y-You read it?"
"Yeah. I thought it was pretty good."
Itsuki spoke with complete confidence. Hearing his answer, Hinako decided to retreat back into the house.
"Eh... um, Hinako?"
"...Stay out there a bit longer."
She had even more to think about now. She still needed time alone.
(H-He read it...)
Hinako looked up at the ceiling.
(So Itsuki knows about this stuff, and he’s still been doing all those things to me...!?)
What was that even supposed to mean? Unable to make sense of it, Hinako’s head began to spin. Perhaps her research was still lacking. She dove back into the manga.
There was a scene where the male lead gave the protagonist a lap pillow. Itsuki had done that, too! Hinako’s face burned, but then she read the protagonist’s thoughts:
—A lap pillow! I’m so nervous I can't sleep!
(...Huh?)
Hinako felt a surge of confusion.
(When I get a lap pillow... it's not like that at all.)
Itsuki’s lap pillow was always warm. It made her feel safe and peaceful, and she fell asleep instantly. She was never too nervous to sleep.
Why the difference? Hinako searched the pages, but no matter how far she read, she couldn't find the answer.
(...I have to ask someone.)
She picked up her smartphone. She knew exactly who to call.
"Hello, Hirano-san?"
"Konohana-san? Is something wrong?" Yuri answered immediately.
Hinako took a deep breath. "I’ve been reading the manga you lent me. Since it’s my first time, it’s taken me a while..."
"Eh, you've never read manga before?"
"No."
"...Well, I guess you really are a young lady straight out of a storybook, Konohana-san." Yuri let out a sigh of realization. "So, what did you think?"
"Um, they were all very interesting."
"Interesting, huh..." Yuri sounded a bit underwhelmed. "So, do you understand what 'love' means now?"
Hinako flinched.
"Ahaha! Sounds like you understand perfectly." Yuri laughed at Hinako’s obvious agitation.
Hinako tried to regain her composure and spoke as calmly as she could. "...To be honest, I'm still not sure if I properly understand the emotion itself. But after reading the books, I have a few questions I wanted to ask."
"Got it. I'll do my best to answer seriously."
"First, regarding Manjuu Over Flowers..." Hinako flipped through the pages. "In this scene, why did they decide to hold hands?"
"Well, holding hands with someone you like makes you happy, so I guess they finally worked up the courage."
"Then why are they hugging here?"
"Um... m-maybe they both wanted to confirm how the other felt?" Yuri sounded a bit embarrassed herself.
"And why did they kiss here?"
"Th-That's probably... well, their parents weren't home, and they thought they might not get another chance, so they just kind of... Wait, am I being interrogated? Is this torture?" Yuri said something weird to cover her mounting embarrassment.
Hinako didn't quite understand, but Yuri let out a fake cough to signal for her to move on.
"Then, about the lap pillow..."
"Hmm... maybe they wanted to feel like they were in a special, intimate space...?"
It seemed to have a similar meaning to holding hands, hugging, or kissing. But Hinako still felt a disconnect.
"............Doesn't a lap pillow mean something different?"
"Eh?"
Hinako explained her confusion to the puzzled Yuri. "Hypothetically... and this is just as an example... if I were to be given a lap pillow by a man."
"Wait, you’ve already gone that far!?"
"Yes?"
"Ah, sorry. Go on." Yuri was flustered for a moment but managed to calm down.
"Even if I were given a lap pillow... I don't think I would be nervous at all. On the contrary, I think I would find it comfortable and sleep very well."
"Really? I mean, maybe if you’re used to it..."
It had been that way even before she was used to it, so the frequency probably wasn't the issue.
"There are other examples. Like being given a piggyback ride... I thought that would be similar to a hug, but again, I feel safe rather than nervous."
Back at the manor, Itsuki would sometimes carry her to her room on his back. In those moments, she felt so secure she usually fell asleep. Her feelings were often different from those of the manga characters. Was she just unique?
"Hmm... then what does make your heart race, Konohana-san?"
Hinako thought back to her recent "thumps."
"...For example, when we’re cooking together and our shoulders happen to touch..."
"~~~~!! That’s so cute...!!"
Compared to the dramatic hugs and kisses in the manga, her example felt very modest. But Yuri seemed to adore it.
"I think I get it....Basically, it’s about whether it feels 'couply' or not, right?"
"'Couply'...?"
"A lap pillow or a piggyback ride has an image of a child being pampered, right? But standing shoulder-to-shoulder while cooking feels like a couple—or even a married couple—and becoming conscious of that is what makes your heart skip a beat."
Hinako felt as if the depths of her heart, parts even she hadn't touched, had been laid bare. It all made sense. Everything clicked into place. She was finally realizing how she felt about Itsuki.
She felt a sudden urge to deny it. If she admitted these feelings, something fundamental would change...
"B-But that feeling when our shoulders touch might just be surprise. If you think about it that way, lap pillows and piggyback rides aren't usually surprises, which would explain the difference..."
"No, no. You can tell the difference between being startled and being flustered, can't you, Konohana-san?"
"Ugh..."
Yuri’s direct hit left Hinako speechless. There were very few people who could speak so bluntly to the "perfect lady."
"In your case, Konohana-san, maybe your desire to be pampered and your romantic feelings are just jumbled together?"
"Jumbled...?"
"Mixed up. That’s probably why it was so hard for you to realize." Yuri sounded satisfied. "You know, during the Summer Seminar, I saw you and Itsuki watching fireworks together. I remember your face very clearly....That wasn't the look of someone who just wants to be pampered."
"My face...?"
Hinako had never cared much about her own expression. She saw herself in the mirror every morning when her hair was being done, but other than when she was playing the part of the perfect lady, her face was usually just blank and tired. She didn't think it was an particularly attractive look.
What could Yuri have seen in it?
Curious, Hinako stood up and went into the bathroom to look at the mirror. She expected to see her usual, listless self. But the reflection staring back at her was————.
"................Ah."
It wasn't the Hinako she knew.
Her cheeks were flushed. Her eyes were moist. Her expression was a messy mix of hope and anxiety. It wasn't the perfect lady, nor was it the lazy girl.
She had never seen this face before. It was so different from her usual self that for a moment, she thought she was looking at a stranger.
————Ah, I see.
Maybe she should have looked in the mirror from the start. If she had, she might have understood much sooner. The girl in front of her was not the self she had been until now. That was why her old values couldn't explain the feeling in her chest.
The mirror showed a girl she didn't recognize. But this wasn't a brand-new thing... she just hadn't noticed. This girl had probably been there for a long time.
A new self. A version of her that had changed because of Itsuki.
"Are you still there?"
"...Yes. I’m fine now."
Yuri had waited through the long silence, giving Hinako time to process. Thanks to that, she was able to organize her thoughts.
"I think I understand. My feelings... and the meaning behind your words, Hirano-san."
Hinako savored the words as she spoke them. She could practically hear Yuri’s gentle smile on the other end.
"I feel like I finally got to hear your real feelings, Konohana-san."
"I’m sorry. I wasn't trying to hide them, but..."
"Don't worry about it. You're a daughter of the Konohana Group, after all. You’ve got a lot on your plate; it’s hard to just be yourself all of a sudden."
Yuri truly didn't seem to mind, and Hinako found herself unable to reply. To maintain her public image, she still didn't intend to show Yuri her "true" self. Her claim that she "wasn't trying to hide them" was a lie. Yet Yuri had accepted it all anyway, showing a depth of character that Hinako found remarkable.
"You’re very kind, Hirano-san."
"R-Really?"
"Yes. Just like Itsuki-kun. You support people so effortlessly... when someone is that kind to me, I find myself wanting to open up."
"I’m so happy I could fly, hearing that from you." Yuri laughed, sounding a bit tickled. "But listen, Konohana-san. I should tell you one more thing..."
Yuri’s voice turned serious.
"In that manga, I Offer Thee, there’s a girl called Natsu-chan, right? Well, if you’re the protagonist of this story, Konohana-san... then I’m the Natsu-chan."
"...Eh."
The call ended.
Hinako set her phone down and flipped through the pages of I Offer Thee. The role of the character called Natsu-chan was very clear.
She was the protagonist’s rival in love.
"………………………………Eu."
A swirl of complex emotions filled her chest. Would she have to deal with these feelings from now on, too? For now, that felt like it might be asking a bit too much.
◆
The next day.
After lunch, a peaceful atmosphere settled over the apartment. While Ms. Shizune hung up the laundry, I ran the vacuum. I turned it off to change the outlet, and the sound of laughter from the TV filled the room. Hinako was watching something. I looked over, wondering if the vacuum had been too loud.
Hinako was staring blankly. Her gaze was fixed on nothing, and I had no idea what was going on in her head.
"Hinako, are you feeling okay?"
"Hmm... it’s not that." She shook her head. "I just have... a lot to think about."
She seemed to realize she was acting strangely and didn't bother trying to hide it.
"I’m here to listen whenever you're ready."
"Thanks. But this is probably something I need to figure out on my own..."
Whatever was bothering her, it wasn't something she could share with me yet. Hinako went back to her staring.
I finished vacuuming and headed out to the balcony.
"Ms. Shizune, I'll help."
"Thank you. Could you hang that futon for me?"
Since there wasn't enough space for all three of our futons at once, we were just washing Hinako’s today. I smoothed out the sheets and pinned them down.
"Is something wrong, Itsuki-san?" Ms. Shizune asked, noticing my preoccupation.
"No, it’s just... Hinako seems to be worrying about something again."
"She is human, after all. It happens."
"I know, but..." I struggled to find the right words as I looked at the clear sky. "It’s just frustrating, not being able to help her."
It was probably an arrogant thought. But every time I saw her struggling alone, it was the first thing that came to mind.
"It’s all right." Ms. Shizune smiled at me. "Itsuki-san, you’re fine just the way you are."
Ms. Shizune had known Hinako longer than I had. If she said it was fine, I could let myself relax a little. But at the same time, I couldn't help but remember Takuma-san’s words.
—As you are now, you can’t be a place for Hinako to belong.
The warning played over and over in my head. Was the reason I couldn't help her now—the reason she was suffering alone—because I hadn't truly become a part of her world? That anxiety refused to leave me.
I finished with the laundry and went back inside.
Buzz.
The smartphone in my pocket vibrated with a message from a classmate.
"A reunion...?"
Apparently, one of the former classmates I’d run into near the school had organized it for tomorrow. It was short notice, but since summer vacation was almost over, it made sense.
I clicked the link to the RSVP page and saw a rather irresponsible line: "We might even see Itsuki!" It seemed my return to town had been the catalyst for the whole thing. Looking at the chat history, however, it seemed mostly like a "wouldn't it be fun to get together?" whim. Regardless, classmates I’d barely spoken to were already signing up.
I wasn't comfortable being treated like the guest of honor, but if that wasn't the case, I didn't mind going. Talking to them the other day had been nostalgic and pleasant. It was nice to be included.
...But Hinako is still acting weird.
The deadline for RSVPs was today. I decided to wait until the last minute before answering.
◆
By the time dinner was over, Hinako was slowly regaining her composure.
Accepting her own internal changes meant her perspective on her daily life had also shifted. Looking back on the lap pillows and the piggyback rides... she realized they had been incredibly intimate. Would she have to stop doing those things now? The thought made her heart feel heavy.
"Hinako. Are you taking a bath by yourself tonight, too?"
"!"
Itsuki, who was cleaning the bathroom, called out to her. It was exactly what she had been thinking about, so the question startled her.
I have to say no. I have to tell him I'll go by myself from now on... I have to...
"W-Wash... my hair."
"!! Right, leave it to me!"
Itsuki’s face lit up instantly. Was he that happy because she’d been turning him down lately? But while Itsuki was in high spirits, Hinako’s heart was in turmoil.
(I said it... I actually said it...)
She should have refused.
She changed into her swimsuit and soaked in the tub, unable to settle down. When it was time for the hair-washing, she called for him, and he arrived looking genuinely cheerful.
"Any itchy spots?"
"I-It’s fine..."
Her mental state was a disaster.
(...I might be a terrible person.)
She was pretending to be innocent. Even though she knew how she felt. Even though she understood that a man and a woman bathing together—swimsuit or not—was a deeply intimate act. She was feigning ignorance just to keep him near her.
(But... I want to be with him...)
Her desire was stronger than her guilt. Her heart was a mess of nervousness and shame. She covered her face with her hands.
"Sorry, did soap get in your eyes?"
She shook her head silently. When he was done, Itsuki left the bathroom.
When she finally got out and looked in the mirror, her face was bright red. Itsuki would probably just assume she’d stayed in the hot water too long. But the heat wasn't physical.
As she stepped out, Itsuki looked up from his studies. "All right, my turn."
Hinako watched his back as he went to grab his change of clothes. She finally understood the weight of living under the same roof. The more she realized what she was feeling, the more confused she became. But she didn't regret knowing. Along with the confusion came a sense of happiness she could finally savor.
She wanted to know more. She wanted to study romance.
She picked up Yuri’s manga again.
(I have to read while he’s in the bath.)
The shoujo manga was so stimulating that she couldn't focus if Itsuki was right there. Ms. Shizune was busy with paperwork. Now was the only time she could have a reaction without being caught.
She flipped the page.
It was a scene where two girls were fighting over a boy.
—Humph. He’s mine now. Don't ever speak to him again.
The girl with the heavy makeup said it. She wasn't the protagonist, but the rival. She was obsessive. Once she decided she wanted something—whether it was a designer bag or a human being—she took it. Because her family was wealthy, she had a habit of throwing money at her problems and using forceful means to get her way.
(I hate this character...!)
The rival was an obvious villain, and Hinako found herself loathing her. She was selfish, ignored other people's feelings, and was constantly manipulating everyone around her without even realizing it.
Finally, the protagonist stood up to her.
—Don't you get it!? she shouted. —You’re just binding him to you! You just want him to be your property!
The rival flinched as if she’d been struck. The words had hit home.
But those words also struck Hinako.
"————Ah."
Ah.
Oh.
The words didn't just hurt the character in the book; they pierced Hinako’s heart.
—Don't take anything else away from him!
The protagonist’s desperate cry was like ice water on Hinako’s heart. How could she have forgotten? Had she been so caught up in her own feelings that she’d lost sight of the truth?
She was an idiot. There was another fact she had to face.
I... might have stolen Itsuki’s life.
She had been thinking about it ever since she heard his story during the Summer Seminar. Before he became her caretaker, Itsuki had an entirely different life. She was the one who had suddenly snatched it away. He was supposed to be a regular person; he never would have gone to Kikou Academy if it wasn't for her. She had forced him to work harder than anyone else and dragged him into the world of the elite.
If she hadn't reached out, would he have died in the gutter? Maybe... he had been abandoned by his parents, after all. But after hearing Yuri’s side, she didn't think he would have stayed down for long. He already had people he could rely on. Even without her, he probably could have started over with Yuri and his other friends.
In that case... hadn't she just made things worse? Had her own selfishness twisted his life?
That fear was why she had wanted to stay at his apartment. She wanted to know more about his past. She wanted to realize exactly how much she had taken from him.
"I..."
In the manga, the rival girl couldn't find a single word to say back.
Until now, Hinako had projected herself onto the protagonist. she had imagined having a sweet, innocent romance with the boy she liked. But she had been wrong.
"I’m... not the protagonist..."
She wasn't the heroine. She was the villain with the heavy makeup. She wasn't the one making him happy; she was the one causing him pain.
Her head throbbed. Her chest felt tight. Hinako slowly slumped to the floor.
"Young Lady?"
Ms. Shizune looked up from her work. At first, she thought Hinako had just fallen asleep—but seeing the look of genuine suffering on her face, she turned pale.
"—Young Lady!?"
◆
I heard Ms. Shizune’s cry just as I was finishing up in the bath. I scrambled into my clothes and rushed out.
"Ms. Shizune! What’s wrong with Hinako!?"
Hinako was lying on the floor. The look of agony on her face made it clear she was in bad shape. Her forehead was slick with sweat.
"...A fever. It’s been a while."
Water dripped from my hair onto the floor.
A stress-induced fever. Because Hinako was constantly forced to maintain her perfect lady facade, the strain occasionally manifested as a physical illness. Lately, she had seemed so much better that I must have let my guard down.
Seeing her suffering like that sent a jolt of panic through me.
"Wh-Why...?"
"Given the circumstances, I suspect it’s stress," Ms. Shizune said grimly. "A new environment, unfamiliar people, and..."
She looked at me for a long moment before turning back to Hinako.
"D-Did you call a doctor?"
"Yes. The family physician from the manor should be here soon."
Ms. Shizune placed a cool towel on Hinako’s forehead. An open packet of fever reducers and a glass of water sat on the table. Only minutes had passed since she cried out, yet she had already taken charge.
"I’ll wait outside for them!"
I wanted to be there the moment they arrived, so I rushed out the front door. The streets around here were narrow and winding; they might get lost.
But if I was being honest, that was just an excuse. I just needed to be doing something—anything—for her.
A few minutes later, a black sedan pulled up. A doctor in a white coat stepped out, followed by...
"Hey there."
For some reason, Takuma-san was with him.
"Glad you were out here. It’s so dark I was worried we’d miss the place."
"...Takuma-san, what are you doing here?"
"I was at the manor when the medical staff started making a fuss. I heard Ms. Shizune had called for a doctor, so I decided to see what was going on."
The doctor hurried inside. Takuma-san peeked through the open door at Hinako.
"I figured this would happen sooner or later."
What did that mean? I wanted to ask, but I was too worried about Hinako to focus on anything else. I tried to follow the doctor inside.
"Wait a second. Let's talk, Itsuki-kun."
"Talk? But..."
"The staff knows what they're doing. You’ll just be in the way."
He had a point. The front door closed, leaving the two of us in the chilly night air.
"What do you think caused this?" Takuma-san asked, his eyes on me.
Ms. Shizune’s theory was stress. The new environment, the new people... it was possible everything had just been too much for her.
But I didn't think so. Hinako had been excited about this. She wanted to live here; she wanted to see the town. She had been genuinely happy at the beef bowl shop. It was hard to believe that kind of thing would lead to a fever.
So why was she suffering?
"It’s you," Takuma-san said.
His gaze was piercing, as if he were looking straight through me.
"I told you, didn't I? As you are now, you can’t be a place for Hinako to belong. You’re her caretaker. It’s your job to provide that stability, and you’ve failed."
"What am I supposed to do...?"
What was I missing?
"Hinako is anxious. She doesn't know which world you're going to choose."
Takuma-san continued his critique.
"You’re wavering between the commoner world you came from and the upper-class world Hinako and I live in. You’ve shown you can adapt to both, but you haven't committed to either. That makes Hinako think you belong back in your old life."
The accusation took me by surprise. Wavering between worlds?
"That's not..."
"Weren't you acting all friendly with your old classmates right in front of her? Anyone would see that and feel like an interloper. It makes her feel like she’s the one holding you back."
I had no answer for that.
"You’ve been at Kikou Academy long enough to understand, haven't you? We in the upper class live for the future, for better or worse. We have duties, businesses to run, roles to play. Everyone has a vision. But you don't. Your future is vague, which means no one knows if they can really count on you. For all we know, you might disappear on a whim. No one knows where your life and Hinako’s are supposed to intersect."
I finally began to see his point. He wasn't talking about the present; he was talking about the long term. And in that regard, I couldn't deny it. I hadn't thought about my future in any detail. I had a job offer from an IT company thanks to Ms. Shizune, but I hadn't even decided if I wanted it.
"To us, your way of life looks ambiguous," Takuma-san said. "I’m not saying you have to cut ties with your old life entirely. But I don't feel any 'resolve to stay' from you. In my experience, people who are serious about their future carry that resolve with them. You don't."
I was speechless.
"You need to think about what you really want, and how you want to live."
With that, Takuma-san walked off into the darkness instead of getting back in the car. I couldn't bring myself to follow him. I went back inside.
The doctor was finishing up, speaking quietly with Ms. Shizune in the corner. I went over to Hinako.
"Hinako..."
"Itsuki...?"
I hadn't expected her to be awake. Seeing her pale, sweaty face made me feel a surge of frustration with myself.
"Hinako, I’m sorry. Did I make you worry...?"
"...No. It's my fault." She spoke in a tiny, fragile voice. "Because I’ve bound you to my life, Itsuki..."
Takuma-san was right. Hinako was worried about how I was living. She had been asking about my past ever since the Summer Seminar, and now I knew why. She had been agonizing over what I’d lost.
My "normal" life.
"If you want to go back to your old life... I’ll support you," she rasped.
She was telling me I could quit being her caretaker. I shook my head immediately.
"Hinako, no. I don't feel bound. I want to be with you—"
"Not for me... that’s not enough." She shook her head weakly, but her eyes were filled with a fierce determination. "Think for yourself."
She was pleading with me to make a choice.
Buzz. My phone vibrated again. I tried to ignore it, but Hinako noticed.
"The phone... answer it."
I didn't want to make things worse, so I took the call.
"Itsuki! You're the last one, man! Are you coming to the reunion or what?"
The voice was loud enough for Hinako to hear. I felt a sudden pang of guilt, even though I hadn't been trying to hide it.
"...Sorry. I'm a bit tied up right now."
I started to decline, but Hinako shook her head.
"Go."
"But..."
"Face your old life properly," she whispered through the fever. "Spend time with them again... and then, give me your answer."
◆
The next afternoon.
I decided to follow Hinako’s wish and attend the reunion. I took the train into the city center—a rare trip for someone like me who had always stayed close to home to save on fare.
When I arrived at the ticket gate, nearly ten of my former classmates were already there, laughing and talking.
"Itsuki! Long time no see!"
"Yeah, it’s been a while." I waved back and joined them.
I saw Yuri in the crowd; even she had managed to take a break from the restaurant to come. She gave me a little wave.
"All right! Everyone's here! Let’s go!" the organizer shouted.
"What time is dinner?"
"Seven o'clock."
"Where’s Take-chan?"
"He’s stuck at work until tonight. He was pretty upset about it."
The main event was dinner at seven, but there was a plan to hang out before that. I had agreed to join that, too, because Hinako told me I should.
"First stop: karaoke!"
"You're tone-deaf, stay away from the mic!"
"Hey, I practiced! Let me have a turn!"
Listening to them bicker made me smile. This was what it was like. This atmosphere was so different from Kikou Academy. It felt like a lifetime ago that I had been a part of it.
...Adachi-san isn't here.
I was relieved. Our last encounter because of Takuma-san had been awkward, to say the least. I didn't know if Takuma-san’s assessment of her had been entirely fair, but given Ms. Shizune’s respect for his insight and Yuri’s comments about her changing, I couldn't dismiss it.
We settled into the karaoke rooms.
"The rooms are small, so let’s split up."
I sat down on a hard plastic bench and let my mind wander.
Why does Hinako think she’s binding me?
The idea was just wrong. I was happy where I was. I didn't feel trapped; I was there by choice. I didn't feel like I’d sacrificed anything.
How could I make her understand?
I thought about what Takuma-san had said. Did I really need a "vision" for her to feel secure?
Isn't wanting to be her caretaker enough of a vision?
I wanted to support her. That was a plan for the future, wasn't it? Acting for the sake of someone else wasn't a bad thing. But somewhere deep down, I felt like it wasn't enough. Not for her.
"Itsuki! Your turn!"
"Ah, right. Coming."
I pushed the worries aside for a moment. This was only my second time at karaoke, and I barely remembered how to use the machine. I picked a song I thought I could handle—one that had been popular when we were in middle school.
"Whoa, old school!"
"We listened to this in seventh grade, didn't we?"
Since starting high school, my life had been nothing but work. My musical knowledge had stopped years ago.
As the girls got excited about a duet, the microphone was passed to me. I sang for the first time in years; my performance was perfectly average, drawing no particular reaction. I handed the mic off and stood up.
"Going to the restroom."
"Got it!"
I walked out into the quiet hallway and took a breath.
I'm not feeling this.
I felt like a wet blanket. I had too much on my mind, I didn't know the songs, and I couldn't seem to match their energy.
"Itsuki?"
Yuri was coming down the hall.
"Yuri. What are you doing out here?"
"Getting drinks. I lost the Rock-Paper-Scissors round." She probably would have gone anyway just to be helpful. "Is something wrong?"
She could tell. I decided to be honest with her.
"Actually, Konohana-san isn't feeling well."
"Eh? Then why are you here? Aren't you supposed to be looking after her?"
"...She’s the one who told me to come. She said I should use some time for myself for once."
Yuri tilted her head. "Hmm. So she thinks you’re being too clingy and wants some space?"
"Ugh..." I leaned my forehead against the wall.
"Hey, don't take it that hard!" Yuri said, sounding flustered.
Her bluntness always hit home.
"I wasn't being clingy... but she seems to think I’m neglecting my own life for hers."
The real problem was her thinking she was binding me.
"I thought I was living for myself. I enjoy being her attendant. I find it fulfilling. She shouldn't be so worried..."
Yuri knew about my job, so I expected her to agree. But she didn't.
"...Maybe things would be different if you stopped thinking of her as a 'Young Lady' and started thinking of her as a girl your own age."
"Eh..."
"She has feelings, too. She gets confused; she doesn't know what to do sometimes." Yuri spoke with an odd sense of certainty. "If that’s the case, your way of thinking might be a bit... heavy."
"Heavy...?"
"Saying 'I’m doing this all for you!' is a lot of pressure, isn't it? It sounds like you're doing her a favor, and that makes her feel like she owes you."
The words hit me like a physical blow.
"...I see. I was putting pressure on her."
She was right. I wanted to help her, but my "selflessness" was just making her feel guilty.
Takuma-san, Hinako, and now Yuri... everything they had said was starting to come together.
Hinako was more than just the girl I looked after. She was changing. Ms. Shizune had said so, too. In the last few days, she had seen my old world and met the people in it. And that had changed her again.
The old Hinako wouldn't have cared. But the new Hinako found my devotion "heavy." She felt like she was the reason I wasn't living a "normal" life.
"Does that make sense?" Yuri asked.
"Yeah."
"You were always bad at doing things for yourself," she said with a sympathetic look. "It’s hard to tell if you're doing something because you want to or because you feel like you have to. That’s probably what’s making her anxious."
Yuri headed off to the drink bar. She had known me longer than anyone. Her words stayed with me.
Because I want to, or because I feel like I have to?
I told myself I wanted to. But I couldn't prove it. I had always been this way—moving for Hinako, for Tennoji-san, for Narika, for Yuri. I found satisfaction in being useful. But I hadn't been looking at myself.
What did I want? Where did I want to be?
"I have to figure it out."
I went back into the room. An hour later, we left the karaoke bar.
"Dinner time!"
We headed to the BBQ restaurant.
"It’s great that you actually came today, Itsuki."
"Yeah, last year you would have turned us down in a heartbeat."
The guys sitting near me laughed.
"Sorry about that."
"Don't worry about it! Just eat up!"
As the meat started sizzling on the grill, I thought of Hinako again. Was she resting? Was her fever down?
I realized I didn't know what to talk about. I just listened to the conversations around me. Movies, games, news—I was out of the loop on everything.
"Hey, did you hear? This guy finally got a girlfriend."
The guy next to me turned bright red.
"You've been talking about it since freshman year," I said, remembering.
"Yeah! I finally asked her out during the school trip. I’m glad I did."
Old stories were fine. I could join in on those. I congratulated him, feeling a bit out of my depth when it came to romance, but happy for him nonetheless.
"By the way, Itsuki, were you working at that teppanyaki place in the shopping district?"
"Yeah. Why?"
"We went there the other day, and the owner saw our uniforms. He was complaining about how much he missed the hard-working part-timer who used to go to our school. We figured he was talking about you."
"That sounds like him. I should go say hi."
"Anyway, tell us about you! What are you doing now?"
"Well, I'm working... it’s a live-in job. I do cleaning, some cooking, and I look after someone."
"Like a hotel?"
"Something like that." It was a close enough description.
"Sounds like hard work. But you're at Kikou Academy now, so money isn't an issue, right?"
"No, not really." I was still thrifty, though.
"So you must be traveling, going to theme parks, seeing all the movies!"
I gave a weak laugh. "Not exactly. I'm busy with work and studying every day. I don't really go out much. I haven't even gone shopping for months."
Between work and the intense curriculum at the Academy, I had less free time than ever. The Summer Seminar had been more of a boot camp than a vacation.
"Oh... I see..."
The conversation turned awkward. I didn't mean to bring the mood down. I didn't even think my life was particularly hard.
"Itsuki! We're going to the arcade after this! You in?"
I didn't have an answer for Hinako yet. But I felt like I was getting closer.
"Yeah. I’ll come."
◆
The arcade was a massive, five-story building. We played everything—music games, racing games, sports games. When I’d gone to the arcade with Hinako and the others, I’d won everything. Here, the tables were turned. I lost almost every match.
Most of them were much better at these games than I was. I felt a slight sense of isolation, but...
It’s fine. I’m not alone.
I remembered what Yuri had said. Living differently from everyone else wasn't a bad thing. The problem was the lack of resolve. Takuma-san and Hinako had seen through me.
"Man, I'm beat," one of the guys said. "Let’s take a break."
We sat down on a bench by the vending machines.
"Here, Itsuki. My treat." He handed me a sports drink. He watched me for a moment. "You’ve changed."
"I get that a lot. My posture, right?"
"No, not that. You're just... easier to talk to. Before, you used to get all weirdly formal and thankful over every little thing. It was kind of hard to deal with."
"Sorry about that."
"Hey, we’re hanging out tomorrow, too. Want to come?"
"...Sorry, I have to study. School is starting soon, and I need to be ready. The classes at the Academy are tough."
I expected him to find it weird. But he didn't.
"You look like you're having fun," he said with a smile.
"Fun?"
"Yeah. You wouldn't work that hard if you weren't enjoying it, right?"
"I guess you're right. I am enjoying it."
It was a simple, obvious truth. I loved my life at the Academy.
"It was hard at first," I admitted. "I didn't understand anything the teachers were saying. I had to study like my life depended on it. But what really surprised me was that everyone else was doing the same thing. They all work so hard, every single day. They have these clear goals for the future."
I realized then that it wasn't about talent. It was about consciousness.
"That’s why I want to be like them————"
I stopped myself.
(...Ah.)
The words had almost slipped out. I repeated them in my head.
I didn't need a complex vision. This was it.
"Itsuki?"
"Nothing. Never mind." I shook my head. "Sorry I can't come tomorrow."
"Don't worry about it. Just make sure you don't have any regrets."
He seemed to understand that I was struggling with something. I really was lucky to have friends like this.
"All right, let’s go again! I want a rematch!"
I had my answer. I could have gone home right then, but I wanted to stay. I didn't know when I’d see them again. I had found where I belonged, and it wasn't here—but I still cherished this.
◆
"Hinako!"
The moment I stepped through the front door, I called her name. Then I remembered she was ill.
"S-Sorry. Too loud."
"It’s okay... I was awake." Hinako shifted in her futon to look at me.
"Where’s Ms. Shizune?"
"Shopping. She wanted to get something healthy for me."
Ms. Shizune had probably stayed by her side until the fever broke before heading out. Hinako looked much better than she had when I left.
"Did you find your answer?"
I took a breath and spoke quietly so as not to strain her.
"I went to the reunion. I talked to my old classmates. I saw how they lived—the movies, the hanging out, the games. They all know the latest songs; they're all better at games than I am. They have this whole life that I’m not a part of anymore."
Hinako looked down, her expression pained. She still thought she’d stolen that from me.
"But... I didn't envy them."
Hinako looked up, surprised.
"I’m happy with the life I have now. I’m doing what I want to do."
Realizing that was everything. If I were only staying with her out of duty, I would have been jealous of them. But I wasn't.
It’s not a duty.
Being her caretaker, going to the Academy, studying, working—I did it because I wanted to.
"Hinako, when I met you... I was moved. I saw the way people like you live, carrying these massive responsibilities and working so hard to be worthy of them. I came to love that way of life."
I thought of Asahi-san, and the others. They were all so serious about their futures.
"I realized that I wanted to be like that, too. At first, I worked hard for your sake. But now, I want to grow for myself. I want to be someone who can stand beside all of you."
My efforts were my own. They weren't a burden.
"I don't know exactly what I want to do for a career yet. But I’ve decided one thing."
It was a goal I’d been carrying without even knowing it.
"I want to be a man who can carry weight. I want to bear responsibilities, just like you, or Tennoji-san, or Narika."
Or Kagen-san. Or Yuri. I respected them all.
"I don't need to live the way my old friends do. I want to stay in your world, Hinako."
I wasn't being bound by her. I was choosing to be there.
"I’m so glad," Hinako whispered, her eyes filling with tears. "I’m so glad... you aren't leaving, Itsuki."
She smiled through her tears, looking profoundly relieved. I reached out and gently stroked her hair.