The morning after our day at the beach.
As was our routine, we gathered in the dining hall.
Tennoji-san sat across from me, eating an omelet. She had been ordering the same thing for several days now; she must have truly taken a liking to it.
However, I noticed her body was trembling slightly.
"Tennoji-san, are you cold?"
"No. This is a tremor of anticipation... I have absolute confidence in this exam. This time, I shall finally prove my victory over Hinako Konohana."
I had wondered if the air conditioning was too high, but that didn’t seem to be the case.
"So the Summer Seminar ends today. It feels a bit lonely when you think about it," Narika murmured.
I felt it, and Hinako did too... Surely, everyone shared that sentiment.
"Konohana-san and I are scheduled to head back tomorrow, but what about the rest of you?"
"I shall be doing the same."
"I'm staying until the day after tomorrow. My father is going to inspect some of our stores, so I’m accompanying him."
Narika’s family owned Japan’s largest sports equipment manufacturer. Much like the families of Asahi-san and Taisho, their business was BtoC—catering to general consumers—and they had locations across the country. Since he was already in Karuizawa, he was likely taking the chance to visit the local branches.
After hearing their answers, I turned toward Yuri.
I had intended the question for her as well, but she was miles away, staring blankly into space.
"Yuri?"
"Eh? Oh, sorry. I wasn't listening."
She responded with a noticeable delay.
"Did something happen?"
"Nothing, it’s nothing like that."
Her reply lacked its usual spark.
In hindsight, inviting Yuri to the beach when she worked nearly every day might have been inconsiderate. She had been quite active at the shore, too; perhaps exhaustion was finally catching up with her.
"Is today the day the exam results are posted? I see... no wonder so many of the customers look anxious today."
Yuri remarked, scanning the dining hall.
If anything, our group was among the least worried. Hinako and Tennoji-san would undoubtedly secure high marks.
The only ones feeling any trepidation were Narika and me.
"Now that I think about it, Hirano-san, you were the one who tutored Itsuki, weren't you?"
"Pretty much. This guy gets so busy with his part-time work that he sometimes can't focus on his lessons at all. So, I’m actually a little confident in his academic progress."
"Oh?" the Young Ladies murmured, sounding impressed.
I wondered how Narika knew that, but then I remembered Yuri whispering to her before we went to the beach. They must have spoken privately without my knowledge.
When I thought about it, Yuri was generally high-spec. She had always put effort into her studies. "It’d be annoying if people thought I was just some idiot who only knows how to cook, right?" I recalled her saying something like that once. It was a very typical motivation for the competitive Yuri.
"Hey, what were the exam questions actually like?"
"They were... like this."
I pulled the exam paper from the bag under my chair and showed it to her.
Yuri stared at the questions for a long moment... and then she froze.
"Um, Itsuki... do you actually understand what this means?"
"I can at least make sense of the wording."
I could at least decipher what the problems were asking.
"Ah—yeah. I might understand a tiny bit of it, too."
"You’ve got to be kidding..."
How much time did she think I’d spent just trying to grasp those concepts?
"And so, um... were you actually able to solve this?"
As Yuri asked, I saw a strange flicker in her eyes.
Anxiety. For some reason, she was looking at me with a face full of dread.
I didn't understand the reason, but I answered honestly for now.
"If I’d actually solved it all, I wouldn't be making this face."
"...That’s true!"
Seeing my eyes, which likely looked like those of a dead fish, the anxiety vanished from Yuri’s expression.
"Well, a normal person couldn't solve stuff like this anyway! One way or another, Itsuki, you're still a person from our side of the world!"
"Guh... I can't even argue with you this time."
I had no rebuttal for Yuri as she stood there with her hands on her hips.
As I thought, I still hadn't truly caught up with the others at Kikou Academy. I felt the weight of my lack of effort.
"...Is that really so?"
Tennoji-san murmured under her breath.
"Now, now. Like I said before the test, if your score is bad, I’ll make you a hamburger steak set. That should cheer you up."
Given the Spartan education waiting for me from Ms. Shizune, I felt I’d need about ten hamburger steak sets to balance the scales.
"Send me a message when the results are out, okay? I’m working until noon today."
"...Got it."
It was almost time to head to the classroom.
I left the dining hall with Hinako and the others.
"To think the Summer Seminar ends today... it is a bit lonely."
"Yeah. The studying was brutal, but it turned into a good memory."
In the classroom, Tennoji-san and Narika were talking sadly.
The other students were engaged in similar conversations. Feeling that atmosphere, I looked back on the past week and felt a pang of loneliness myself.
"Now then, I will return your graded answer sheets."
The lecturer stood at the podium, calling out names and handing back papers.
"Tomonari Itsuki-san."
"Yes."
I was terrified to look.
As I timidly accepted the paper, the lecturer gave me a kind smile.
"You worked very hard."
"Eh...?"
"Hirano-san. You can go on your break now."
"Okay!"
Yuri, working as part of the kitchen staff, realized it was time for her break. She organized her tools and stepped out of the kitchen.
After putting her apron in her locker, she took out her smartphone and pushed open the door to the breakroom.
"Oh, Hirano-san. Good work."
"Thank you, ma'am."
There was one senior staff member already in the room—a friendly woman who had taught Yuri a lot since her first day. Not wanting to be awkward by sitting far away, Yuri pulled out the chair next to her.
"Hirano-san, you're only here until next week, right?"
"That's right. I actually wanted to study here a bit longer, but..."
"You have to help with the family business, right? You're so admirable for someone so young~"
"I do it because I love it, so it's fine! Our place isn't very big, and we have a huge menu, so it's hard to hire part-timers."
"So it's a small, elite team. That sounds very professional."
Hearing that didn't feel bad at all. A small smile tugged at Yuri's lips.
However, if her goal was to turn it into a national chain, she thought she might have to move away from techniques that relied solely on her own skills. She needed to develop cooking methods that even inexperienced young people could master with the right training.
As she pondered the path to her ambitions, another concern surfaced in her mind.
"Um, ma'am?"
"Yes?"
"Do you know anything about Macroeconomics?"
"Eh? Macro... what?"
Yuri said, "Never mind," and sat back in her chair.
As she thought, normal people didn't know these things.
If that was the case, Itsuki shouldn't have known them either.
It might be better to start prepping the hamburger steak set early. Yuri ran through the ingredients in her hotel room, wondering if she was missing any spices.
"...Oh, a message from Itsuki."
A notification appeared on her screen.
(Now then. I wonder how Itsuki's results turned out?)
She didn't know if the Summer Seminar even had a concept of "failing," but she fully expected him to be depressed. While mentally preparing words of comfort, Yuri opened the message.
About the exam results— Itsuki's message began.
"...............Eh?"
As she read on, Yuri’s mind went blank.
Itsuki had politely listed his scores for every subject.
But the numbers were completely different from anything Yuri had anticipated.
Since the day was over once the exams were returned, Itsuki and the others were likely already enjoying their free time. Yuri moved away from her senior and, with a trembling hand, called him.
The call connected almost instantly.
"Ah, um, hello? Itsuki?"
"What's up?"
"No, well... I saw the results."
Without realizing her voice was shaking, Yuri spoke.
"You were chosen as... a top academic performer..."
Itsuki had stated as much in his text.
Even though he had seemed so unconfident, even though he said he hadn't solved the problems... Itsuki had posted one of the highest scores among all the students in the seminar.
"Your scores... were amazing. I thought you said you weren't confident?"
"I wasn't, but it seems I wasn't the only one; everyone else was struggling too. There were students from schools other than Kikou Academy here, so I think I rose up the ranks relatively. At any rate, it looks like I’ve avoided Ms. Shizune's Spartan training for now."
She heard a sigh of relief over the line.
But Yuri’s anxiety wouldn't stop.
A cold sweat broke out on her forehead. Wanting to hide her roiling emotions, Yuri opened her mouth to say something casual—when she heard another voice.
"Well, it is exactly as I expected."
It was Mirei’s voice.
The usual Young Ladies must be with him. He had apparently put the phone on speaker.
"He understood the lesson content perfectly, so this result is only natural."
"I agree. Itsuki works hard every day. I figured he would eventually be able to keep up with the seminar. Unlike me."
Following Mirei, Narika chimed in.
"Considering how hard Tomonari-kun has worked, I think this is a well-deserved result."
Hinako's calm voice reached her ears last.
"I-I see..."
Yuri gave a stiff response.
The strange sweat wouldn't stop. Her breathing was becoming shallow and ragged.
"Oh, um... sorry. I have to get back to work, so I’m hanging up."
"Yeah. We’ll be at the hotel until tomorrow, so let's talk later."
Because it was over the phone, Itsuki didn't notice the change in Yuri.
The call ended.
Yuri stood there for a long time, clutching her phone.
(Everyone... believed Itsuki could do it.)
Hinako, Mirei, and Narika—they all took it for granted.
And yet...
(I was the only one... who thought Itsuki couldn't do it.)
When she actually thought about it, Itsuki was attending the prestigious Kikou Academy. There was no way he was actually bad at studying.
Even if his scores had been bad on this specific test—Itsuki was likely already smarter than her.
There was nothing Yuri could do for someone like that.
"Hirano-san, are you okay? You look pale..."
Her senior asked, sounding worried.
"I'm fine....I’m going back to work!"
Desperate to turn her eyes away from the truth she had just realized, Yuri threw herself back into her job.
"Well then, let's meet back at the Main Building in an hour."
Having returned to the hotel grounds, I addressed Hinako and the others.
"Hinako Konohana... I shall settle the score next time!"
"Please go easy on me."
Hinako smiled softly.
Tennoji-san let out a frustrated cry and stomped back to her room.
(Our scores were identical, so I wish she could just be happy for both of us...)
With a wry smile, I headed toward my own room.
It was 3:00 PM. Even in the lush greenery of Karuizawa, the heat was stifling at this hour. I wiped the sweat from my temples with the shoulder of my shirt.
After the seminar ended, we had spent some time chatting at a nearby cafe.
After we finished talking and grabbed some lunch, the Young Ladies said they had to report their results to their parents, so we disbanded for a while. Hinako had to call Kagen-san, leaving me with some free time.
(I’m glad Ms. Shizune praised me...)
Just before we split up, Ms. Shizune had complimented my results. When someone who usually works you to the bone gives you a compliment, it really means something.
"Phew."
I dropped my bag in my room. After a quick breather, I realized I didn't have anything to do. I could have just rested, but knowing we were leaving tomorrow, I wanted to enjoy the place to the fullest.
(Maybe I'll head over to the Main Building.)
It was early, but I figured I’d wander around until the meeting time.
I stepped out and took a leisurely stroll toward the Main Building.
As I entered the lobby, I saw a familiar, small figure.
"Yuri."
"Itsuki...?"
Yuri turned toward me.
"Is your shift already over for today?"
"Yeah, just finished. But I have to work a double shift tomorrow to make up for it."
In that case, today was the last time Yuri and I could talk properly.
I was wondering when we would see each other next... when I noticed her face looked off. She seemed depressed.
"Itsuki... you're really working hard on your studies, aren't you?"
"I'm in an environment where I can't survive unless I do."
When I answered, Yuri's eyes wavered with uncertainty.
"A-At any rate, you seem to be doing fine with studying, but what about sports?"
Yuri asked with a forced smile.
"I mean, Kikou Academy is big on sports, right? There are rumors about them winning national tournaments and stuff. Aren't the PE classes tough?"
"They are, but I'm actually pretty good at sports. I don't know about things I've never tried, like polo or skating, but I haven't had any trouble in class so far."
"I-I see..."
Yuri lowered her gaze.
"T-Then, what about the food? You must be starving for normal food by now, right? Honestly, don't you have complicated feelings about what they serve you?"
"Well, there is a bit of that."
"Then!"
With an urgent look, Yuri stared into my eyes.
"I’ll start making meals for you! Ms. Shizune invited me to work for the family, and even if that doesn't work out, I could deliver them to you—"
"No, I’d feel bad making you go that far..."
"But you're starving for normal food, right?"
Yuri put her hands on her hips.
"You don't have to hesitate! I mean, I’m your big sister, after all!"
There it was—her catchphrase.
But if I played along with the usual routine now, I felt like she really would start showing up at the Konohana estate with delivery bags.
"I appreciate the offer, really, but I’m okay," I said gently.
"Even though they're a high-society family, they don't serve multi-course meals every single time. At first, they gave me nothing but grand dishes to help me learn etiquette, but lately, the food has been pretty normal. Omelets, hamburger steaks, things like that. I don't get much B-grade gourmet, but everything is healthy and delicious. I'm perfectly satisfied."
I did want to eat Yuri's cooking, of course.
But I wasn't so desperate that I needed her to deliver meals, and I couldn't bear to burden her like that.
Yuri was working hard toward her own goals every day. I didn't want to be a shackle for her.
However, hearing my response, Yuri became visibly frantic.
"Ah, um... then, then..."
Yuri’s mouth worked wordlessly, her face looking as if she were about to burst into tears.
"Yuri, what's wrong?"
"I-It's nothing. More importantly, Itsuki, isn't there anything you're struggling with? I’ll help with anything...?"
"To be honest, there are plenty of things I'm struggling with, but..."
"Then—!"
For some reason, Yuri's eyes lit up.
But I continued.
"But I want to do my best on my own as much as I can. Lately, I’ve found that putting in the effort to grow is actually fun."
I still lacked the knowledge and experience to truly stand with the others at Kikou Academy. But I had learned the joy of closing that gap through my own hard work.
The satisfaction of a result was proportional to the effort invested.
That’s why I didn't want to take the easy way out.
"............I see."
Yuri looked down and gave a hollow response.
I watched her, feeling increasingly suspicious.
"Yuri, seriously, what is it?"
"...It’s nothing."
"I'm your childhood friend. I can see through a lie that obvious."
Honestly, anyone could have seen through her at that moment. She looked that fragile.
"Even if Itsuki understands me... I don't understand Itsuki at all anymore."
Yuri spoke in a low, flat voice.
"You seem so fulfilled in your new life."
"Well, yeah."
"Then... you don't really need me anymore, do you?"
For a moment, the question didn't make sense to me.
"Even without me, you're having fun every day. You're doing just fine on your own."
"No... even if that's true, it doesn't mean I don't need you, Yuri."
"Yes, it does."
"It doesn't—"
"—YES, IT DOES!!"
Yuri screamed.
"Because! You don't have to have me by your side anymore! You're doing great at school! Everyone seems to like you! You've become smart, and you're even careful about how you look and carry yourself! Itsuki, you're already in a world I don't know... you're living in a place where there's nothing left for me to do!!"
The emotions she had been holding back came pouring out like a broken dam.
And as if words weren't enough to purge the pain, large tears began to spill from her eyes.
"You showed me those exam questions this morning, and I didn't understand a single thing! What am I supposed to do for someone who can solve things like that!? You say you don't even need my food... there’s not one thing I can do for you anymore! So you don't need me!"
Listening to her cry, there was one thing I simply could not fathom.
I spoke up, desperate to reach her.
"Wait a minute. 'Nothing you can do'... what are you talking about? I haven't been with you all this time just because you were useful—"
"—LIAR!"
Yuri, red-faced and trembling with rage, shouted over me.
"Because! You wouldn't even meet me if I wasn't being useful!"
With that, she turned and ran out of the lobby.
I could only stand there, staring at her retreating figure in a daze.
After Yuri ran off, I sat on the lobby sofa, frozen like a statue.
About thirty minutes later, Hinako and Ms. Shizune appeared, along with Tennoji-san and Narika, who had apparently met them on the way.
The four of them noticed me and approached.
"Tomonari-san, is something the matter?"
My face must have been a mess, because Tennoji-san asked with genuine concern.
"I... had a fight with Yuri."
"Eh?"
"We got into an argument."
I didn't have the strength to try and hide it.
As I held my head in my hands, Hinako and the others fell silent.
"What was it... about?"
"...I don't really know."
I couldn't give Tennoji-san a real answer.
I didn't know why Yuri had been that angry.
But I knew those tears were my fault.
What had she been carrying all this time? I had to find out.
"...Wait. I know Yuri was being secretive about something until the day before the exam. She was meeting with you guys, wasn't she?"
In the past, Yuri had tutored me often. Narika knew that. There was no doubt they had spoken behind my back.
I asked the others, and it seemed my hunch was correct. Hinako and Tennoji-san both nodded along with Narika.
"Did she say anything? About me... or herself?"
I was desperate for any lead.
Perhaps because of the look on my face, the three of them answered immediately.
"I heard from Hirano-san that you two have been close since you were very young. She said she's known you since first grade, and that she's been cooking for you and giving you hand-me-down clothes for years."
That was true.
I had relied on Yuri for so much for such a long time.
"I spoke to her about you, Tomonari-san. Hirano-san was worried about whether you were getting along okay at Kikou Academy. When I told her you were doing perfectly fine, she looked... surprised."
Of course she was.
If I had told my past self that I’d be surviving at a place like Kikou Academy, I never would have believed it.
"It was the same for me. When I told her you were doing well... Hirano-san looked just a little bit lonely."
Hinako said, still in her Young Lady mode.
Lonely... I felt like I’d found the key.
Yuri was feeling lonely because of how much I’d changed. If someone you reunited with had transformed far beyond your expectations, it wasn't a hard feeling to understand.
"It is difficult to imagine from the current Tomonari-san, but it sounds as though the old you lived through Hirano-san's support," Tennoji-san observed.
"That's right. I was always supported by Yuri..."
As I started to agree with Tennoji-san, the realization finally hit me.
Ah, I see. That’s what it was.
"Tomonari-san?"
"Did you figure something out?"
Tennoji-san and Narika asked as I sat there with my head in my hands.
"Yuri knows the old me..."
Since I had asked for their help, I felt I should tell them.
I decided to explain the conclusion I’d reached—the truth behind my relationship with Yuri.
"The old me... didn't have any leeway."
My house had been poor for as long as I could remember.
My parents both seemed to have some form of work, but they had a habit of spending more than they earned on alcohol and gambling. I had no choice but to work as well.
I technically started my first official part-time job on my first day of high school, but if you asked when I actually started working, the answer was "for as long as I’ve been conscious."
Even in elementary school, I was helping with my mother's piecework.
My classmates had no idea what it meant to worry about a household budget. As if to say a child's only job was to play, they spent every day making a racket in the park.
I would watch them from a distance while I sat in our cramped house, stuffing tissues into promotional bags.
There was no way my heart wouldn't become twisted.
Especially for a child who was still so mentally immature.
"Itsuki! Let's go play!"
I met Yuri in elementary school. Apparently, we lived near each other, though I only learned that when she told me.
Yuri seemed to have known about me for a while. It was only natural. With parents who loved drinking and gambling that much, we were a neighborhood legend. Most of the neighbors whispered that our family was "best avoided," but the young Yuri approached me with the simple, innocent curiosity of someone who had just heard a rumor.
But I met her kindness with nothing but coldness.
Because I had no leeway.
"Sorry, I'm busy."
I had to go home and help with the piecework.
I had to go home and do the chores.
I was constantly irritable because I was skipping meals to save money.
I couldn't suppress the envy I felt toward my classmates who got to be carefree.
"Itsuki! Today for sure—"
"Sorry, I'm busy."
At the time, my heart was weak, and I would vent my stress on others.
Even if I never resorted to violence or verbal abuse, there was no doubt I was colder than necessary to Yuri, despite how many times she reached out.
Time and again, I turned her down.
Then, about six months after we met, Yuri changed her approach.
"Itsuki! Will you help me practice my cooking!?"
Yuri had wanted to be a chef since she was little, and she started making me eat various dishes under the guise of "tasting sessions."
It saved me a fortune on food.
"Itsuki! My house has all these clothes we don't need! Won't you take them?"
Every time the seasons changed, she would bring over clothes her parents didn't want anymore.
It gave me enough layers to survive the winter.
"Itsuki! Let's have a study session! Your grades have been bad lately, right?"
When my marks slipped, she would suggest studying together. She would go out of her way to summarize the important points in a notebook for me, allowing me to learn efficiently in the little time I had.
It kept my failing grades from bottoming out.
My heart still lacked any leeway, but Yuri must have seen through that. She figured that if she provided a benefit for me, I would let her stay by my side.
I didn't realize any of it back then.
But now, I finally understood.
In order to be with me, Yuri had been intentionally crafting her invitations like that.
"Yuri... has always made sure her proposals had some benefit for me."
As I finished my story, Hinako and the others looked solemn.
"Tomonari-san... you had such a past..."
"I... I didn't know it was that extreme," Tennoji-san and Narika whispered.
Yuri had always acted in a way that was useful to me.
And she was still doing it now.
When we reunited at this hotel, she called me to her room. It wasn't just a random visit; it was because she thought I was starving for normal food and wanted to cook for me for the first time in ages.
On the surface, Yuri could seem overbearing. But in truth, she only ever suggested things she thought would make me happy. She didn't suggest things unless she thought they’d be useful. The pajama party and the trip to the beach were other people's ideas. Not Yuri's.
She had been looking out for me this whole time.
For nearly ten years.
I realized now that her acting like a "big sister" started back then, too.
Without even knowing it, I had been putting immense pressure on her all these years.
"—I have to go find her."
I finally understood the rift between us.
A little while ago, I was blind to it and couldn't say anything as she ran.
But now, I had words for her.
Dinner didn't matter. I stood up and headed for the exit.
"Tomonari-kun."
Hinako's voice stopped me.
I turned back. She dropped her Young Lady facade so the others wouldn't notice.
"Is Hirano-san... someone precious to you?"
She asked with a very serious expression.
"Yeah. She's precious."
I could answer that immediately, without a shred of doubt.
She was my oldest friend, the person who had known me longest besides my family.
She was the kind girl who had been thinking of me since we were children.
If that girl was out there somewhere, hurting... I had to save her.
"I'm going."
I told Hinako and ran out to find Yuri.
In elementary school.
Yuri had once gone to school while hiding the fact that she was sick.
She probably had a slight fever. Her nose was running, her head throbbed, and her whole body felt strangely heavy. She’d considered staying home, but she’d just learned about "Perfect Attendance Awards" from her teacher and was determined to make it.
Fortunately or unfortunately, Yuri was good at acting energetic.
Even her family didn't notice as she walked through the school gates.
Since she was known for being a tomboy, she figured if she stayed quiet, they’d figure it out instantly, so she forced herself to be loud and cheerful.
She gave a bright greeting in the classroom.
She ate lunch while chatting happily with everyone.
And after school, she went to the classroom next door to find Itsuki.
At the time, Itsuki was just a classmate to her. But he was also a neighbor she’d known for a while. To the young Yuri, that made him special, and she wanted to be as close to him as possible.
But there was no deeper motive. She wasn't in love with him yet, nor did she pity him.
Itsuki is always such a killjoy.
Expecting to be turned down again, Yuri met his eyes.
"Yuri, are you feeling sick?"
He saw through her instantly.
Her family, her friends, even her teacher had been fooled—but with just a glance, Itsuki knew she wasn't well.
Because no one had noticed, she’d almost started to forget it herself...
Itsuki was looking at her. He was really seeing her. That realization struck a deep chord in her heart.
Looking back, that was the moment.
From that moment on, Yuri had loved him.
The sound of the waves brushed against her ears.
Sitting on the beach, Yuri remembered the past while watching the sky turn a deep shade of crimson.
(...What am I even doing?)
She’d just wanted a place to run to. Her subconscious had brought her back to the beach where we had all played yesterday.
Running all the way to the sea after a fight... I’ve got too much energy for my own good, she thought with a hollow sense of irony. She had enough for the train fare back, but it would be pitch black by the time she reached the hotel. She had a long shift tomorrow; she should go back and sleep.
As the sun dipped lower, the beach was nearly deserted. She could think in peace.
(I didn't mean to say those things...)
She’d said the one thing she should have kept buried.
You wouldn't even meet me if I wasn't being useful... Maybe that had been true for the Itsuki of the past, but the current Itsuki was clearly different. He had the mental leeway now to accept invitations that served no purpose.
No... If she was being honest, he’d gained that leeway a long time ago.
Sometime in late elementary or early middle school, Itsuki’s heart had matured. He’d stopped letting his irritation and his weaknesses show.
And he had become a "good person."
You can't act for the sake of others without having leeway yourself. From the moment people started calling him kind, he’d already moved beyond his old self.
She was the only one who hadn't noticed.
She was the only one obsessed with the Itsuki of the past.
"Because I am Itsuki's big sister!"
It was her shield.
She said it to Itsuki and to everyone else, but in reality, she was just saying it to herself.
Because I am Itsuki's big sister, I have to be useful.
It was a self-imposed prison.
She shouldn't have blamed him.
(Of course the Young Ladies saw through me... they knew how I felt.)
Hinako, Mirei, and Narika—they’d all asked her what she thought of him.
Of course she loved him. If she didn't, she wouldn't have spent her life thinking about him.
But she’d sealed those feelings away so long ago she thought they were invisible.
When they were little, Yuri had approached the Itsuki who had no leeway. Her heart would pound, and her face would heat up. Driven by the impulse of a first love, she’d tried over and over to make him look at her—and she’d failed every time.
At that time, she’d thought:
Ah... to Itsuki, my love is a burden.
So she sealed it. She looked for ways to make him look at her that didn't involve love.
In that sense, her "big sister" declaration was a double-edged sword.
Because I’m his big sister, I’m just taking care of my little brother. It's not like I actually like him or anything!
"...What a total tsundere."
The sea breeze stroked her burning cheeks.
It was all just a self-suggestion. She was afraid that if she showed her love, she’d lose him. This twisted dynamic was the only way she knew how to stay close.
She was the one who had chosen this path.
It was entirely wrong of her to blame Itsuki.
"Hey, you there."
A voice called out from the side.
Yuri turned to see two large men.
"Are you all by yourself?"
"It’s gonna get dark soon. We’ll give you a lift in our car. Why don't you have a drink with us instead?"
Both had dyed hair and visible tattoos.
Sensing danger, Yuri stood up and backed away.
"...No, thank you. I'm fine."
"Don't be like that. It’s rude to turn down a polite offer."
One of the men reached out and grabbed her arm.
"Stop it! Let go!"
"Whoa, your hands are cold!"
"Feisty and cute, isn't she?"
Anger flared in Yuri’s chest.
She’d been trying to think through the most important things in her life, and these lowlifes had interrupted her. Looking at their grinning faces, her irritation boiled over.
"I SAID, LET GO!!"
She swung her free hand and slapped the man across the face.
The loud crack echoed, and the man's smile vanished.
"...Hey. Don't push your luck, kid."
"Hi—!?"
The man clenched his fist.
Terrified, Yuri reflexively closed her eyes.
And then...
"—Looks like I made it in time."
A familiar voice reached her. She opened her eyes slowly.
Itsuki was there, holding the man's wrist.
I’d found her at the same beach we’d visited yesterday.
Despite how much she worried about it, Yuri’s height was a distinct identifier. By asking people if they’d seen a short girl in her specific outfit, I’d managed to track her down.
She must have been crying the whole way there.
There had been plenty of eyewitness reports.
"Who the hell are you?"
The man whose arm I held glared at me with pure venom.
"I'm her childhood friend."
I gave a short answer, pulled his arm, and executed a quick throw.
"Gua—!?"
The ground was soft sand; he wouldn't be seriously hurt, no matter how many times I threw him.
Seeing his friend go down so easily, the other man was stunned for a second before charging at me in a rage.
—Slow.
How much Spartan training did he think I’d endured under Ms. Shizune?
I caught his extended wrist, twisted it outward, and applied pressure to his elbow. Unable to withstand the force, he dropped to his knees.
"It hurts—!?"
Because he hadn't known how to take the fall, he’d landed face-first in the sand.
The two men scrambled up, faces covered in grit. They were just common thugs; they clearly didn't have the stomach for a real fight.
"Damn it...!!"
"Y-You’ll pay for this!!"
Spouting clichéd villain lines, they scrambled away and disappeared.
"Phew..."
I was glad I’d been able to drive them off.
But honestly, picking a fight with Yuri? Were those guys lolicons or something?
"Are you okay?"
I asked Yuri behind me.
"Y-Yeah. Th-Thanks—"
She cut herself off.
Remembering we were supposed to be fighting, she pulled back her vulnerable side and put her guard back up.
"W-What are you doing here? I-I didn't ask you to help me or anything."
"...You could at least manage a 'thank you.'"
"I-I-I don't even know what you're talking about!"
Her face was bright red, and it wasn't just the sunset.
Yuri wiped a nervous sweat from her brow, then her expression softened into something lonely.
"...You really have changed. You weren't this reliable before."
She looked me over from head to toe.
The lean muscle, the calm required to face down those men—the old me didn't have any of that.
"Yeah, I’ve changed. But because I changed, I was able to protect you."
I didn't regret the person I was becoming.
And I wanted her to accept that person, too.
"Yuri. I’m sorry I didn't realize until now."
I bowed my head toward her.
"The reason you’ve always tried to be 'useful' to me... it’s because of our past, isn't it? Because I turned you down so many times, you looked for ways to make staying with you a benefit for me."
"...Yeah. But that was my choice. It’s not your responsibility."
"No, it is."
"No, it’s mine."
"It’s mine."
"It’s mine!"
Neither of us would back down.
But I couldn't let her have this one.
Yuri was always so confident, so stubborn. Even when I worried about her, she’d just laugh and say she was fine.
I couldn't keep letting myself rely on her strength while she suffered.
"Yuri! I’m going to say this once, and I’m going to say it clearly!"
She flinched at the volume of my voice.
I pushed forward.
"I have never once looked at you that way!"
"H-Haaaaah!? Is that so? Is that how it is!? Fine! I’m not feminine anyway, so I get it!"
"No! That’s not what I mean! I mean I’ve never looked at whether you were 'useful' or not!"
"—!"
Her eyes went wide.
"W-What are you talking about? That’s a lie! Maybe you're different now, but the old you only stayed with me because I was useful!"
"No! That’s the misunderstanding!"
I spoke as loud as I could to the half-crying Yuri.
"The old me had no leeway. I didn't have time to play, and I couldn't stop myself from being cold to everyone. Naturally, I didn't have any friends."
It wasn't that people hated me; it was that I pushed them away.
Before I knew it, people stopped calling out to me. Only then did I realize how lonely I was. But it was too late.
"But even then, you... Only you kept calling out to me. To you, it might have just been because we lived close by, but to me, it was the only thing that kept me going."
I might have acted like she was a nuisance at first.
But her persistence slowly dug up the emotions I’d buried. The loneliness... the simple desire to play with someone... Yuri was the one who found those parts of me.
"So, I’d made up my mind. The next time you asked... I was going to say yes. I was going to be your friend."
I’d never told a soul.
It was a promise I’d made only to myself.
"And that day was the day you asked me to help with your cooking practice."
"Ah..."
Yuri let out a soft breath.
I think she finally saw it.
It was all a coincidence.
Coincidentally, I had decided to open up.
Coincidentally, Yuri had decided to start being "useful."
Because those two things happened at the exact same time, Yuri had spent a decade believing a lie.
She believed that utility was the price of companionship.
"I wasn't with you because you were useful, Yuri. You called out to me over and over. You never stopped looking at me. That’s why I was with you. Because it made me happy."
"...So that’s how it was."
As the misunderstanding crumbled, tears pooled in her eyes.
But I wasn't finished.
"And for what it’s worth, the person I am today is entirely thanks to you."
Yuri looked up at me, silent.
"After I became friends with you, I realized something. It felt so much better to be with people than to push them away out of a sense of inferiority. People call me a 'good person' now, but you're the one who taught me that. You taught me the warmth of being with others."
If I hadn't met her, I would still be drowning in the inferiority complex born from my family. I would have lived a life of isolation.
I never would have picked up Hinako's student ID. I would have assumed the students of Kikou Academy were people from a world that had nothing to do with me, and I would have walked right past it.
The day I met Hinako... that happened because of Yuri.
The fact that I survived my upbringing without becoming self-destructive was because I met her.
(It’s not 'I’m sorry' that I need to say.)
I’d wanted to apologize for not seeing her pain for ten years.
But there were more important words.
"Yuri... thank you. For supporting me all this time. I’m doing okay at Kikou Academy because of you."
I gave her ten years’ worth of gratitude.
Yuri’s tears fell onto the sand.
"Yuri, I have a proposal. Why don't we redo these last ten years?"
"Redo them... how?"
"Let's spend the next ten years together too. But this time, as equals."
I wanted her to stay with me—that was what I was really trying to say.
Because of Yuri, I met Hinako and became a student at Kikou Academy. And because Hinako, Tennoji-san, and Narika saw me as an equal, I was able to find my footing there. Their trust gave me the strength to work hard.
I wanted that same relationship with Yuri.
She was my first benefactor.
"............Ten years won't be enough."
Yuri wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and finally laughed.
"I’m staying with you for the rest of my life. Until you tell me you hate me."