“What do you think of me, Hinako?”
The face staring back at me from her round eyes looked so deadly serious that I almost wanted to laugh at myself.
Maybe I shouldn’t have asked. But there was no taking the words back now.
I remained silent, waiting for her answer.
“I…”
Hinako’s lips moved slowly.
“I think of Itsuki as… su…”
“Su?”
I was eager to hear the rest.
But along with her lips, Hinako closed her eyelids too―.
“Suuu…”
“She’s asleep!?”
No way.
What kind of timing was that?
Then again, this was Hinako. I already knew the girl could fall asleep under any circumstances.
The shock helped clear away the strange tension I had been feeling. In a way, it might have been a blessing.
Watching her sleep with such a peaceful, happy expression, I felt myself calming down as well.
(…At least I understand one thing now.)
I had finally come to terms with my own feelings.
“Hinako.”
No reply.
This would be nothing more than a self-satisfied monologue, but I said it anyway. I needed to put my emotions into words.
“I’m going to work hard… so I can become someone worthy of you, Hinako.”
Not because I had to stay by her side, but because I wanted to.
I had finally become fully aware that this was what I truly felt.
Making sure not to wake her, I gently pulled the futon over her.
It was about time I should carry her back to her room… but I decided to let her sleep like this just a little while longer.
◇
For the first time, Hinako was grateful she had kept up her act.
Pretending to be asleep, she was desperately trying to maintain a calm appearance.
Little by little, she rolled onto her side as though shifting in her sleep, turning her face away so Itsuki couldn’t see it.
She couldn’t hold it back any longer.
Her face was burning hot.
Her heart was pounding violently.
No matter how hard she tried to stay composed, she couldn’t stop the changes in her expression.
‘I’m going to work hard… so I can become someone worthy of you, Hinako.’
Itsuki’s words kept replaying over and over inside her head.
Each time they did, an uncontrollable surge of emotion rushed through her.
(I’m… acting really strange right now…!)
The confusion refused to stop.
Inside her heart, Hinako screamed.
(What is this…? What is this feeling…? It’s so strange… I can’t hold it back…!)
In truth, she felt like thrashing around wildly.
She just wanted to do something—anything.
If she didn’t, it felt like her body would burst.
Gripping the futon tightly, Hinako desperately endured.
When she cracked her eyes open just a sliver, she saw Itsuki sitting with his back to her, studying.
An overwhelming urge to touch that back came over her.
But she held herself back.
She had a feeling that if she got close to him now, she would stop being herself.
(I…)
She recalled the question Itsuki had asked her earlier.
(What do I… think of Itsuki…?)
My precious caretaker.
Someone whose company makes me happy.
That was what she had always thought, and she believed she had properly conveyed those feelings.
But… was that really all there was to it?
Could something like this truly be dismissed with such a simple answer?
No satisfying conclusion came to her.
Until the next time Itsuki spoke to her, Hinako continued to wrestle with her swirling thoughts.