It took about a week for my body to fully recover from the fever.
During that time, my apprentice maid, Mira, fussed over me constantly. She was a lovely older girl who kept her long, blue-grey hair tied back in a ponytail. Although she was only five years older than me and still a child herself, she was incredibly protective of me. She would bring my meals, her blue eyes narrowing as she insisted, "You won't get better if you don't eat it all." When I finished everything, she would smile with satisfaction and say, "There, there."
By the third day, when I was finally able to sit up, she leaned in close to peer at my face. "Are you truly alright? You aren't pushing yourself, are you?" When I told her I was fine, Mira let out a relieved sigh and smiled. "That's a relief. When the Young Master is bedridden, I lose all my energy too."
The mess inside my head gradually organized itself over the course of that week.
The knowledge of "that man" sat on a large shelf in my mind like a collection of books.
I could read them if I wished, but they didn't just open of their own accord.
My mind belonged to me; that knowledge was merely something borrowed.
And as I looked through those borrowed things, I conversely began to grow curious about my own world.
There was no magic in that man's world.
However, there was plenty of magic in his stories.
Shooting fire from hands, flying through the sky, healing wounds...
It seemed "that man" had been very fond of such things.
And in my world, magic actually existed.
...Wait. Does that mean I could really do those things?
Once that thought took hold, I couldn't stop.
"Father, I want to use magic."
I said this to Father on the morning I had fully recovered.
"Magic? Rein, you're only four. Normally, children start around six—"
"No. I want to do it now."
"You've only just recovered. Perhaps after you've rested a bit more..."
"No."
Father smiled troubledly, the blonde ponytail at the back of his head swaying as he shook it.
"...Were you always this stubborn?"
"I'm not stubborn. I just want to do it."
"No, that is exactly what being stubborn means."
Father agonized over it for a while, but he eventually gave in.
"I understand. However, you must stop the moment you get tired. That's a promise."
"Okay!"
He probably thought I would get bored of it right away. There was no way a four-year-old child could endure the tediousness of mana training. It was written all over Father's face.
"Listen, Rein. To use magic, you must first learn how to handle mana. You won't be able to produce fire or water right away."
"Ehh..."
"First, you must feel your own mana and become able to release and stop it. That is the first step."
He must have seen the boredom on my face. Father gave a wry smile.
"It’s tedious work, but nothing begins until you can do this. Will you do it?"
"I will."
"This is a Mana Release Stone bracelet. Try putting it on your wrist."
Father pulled a bracelet made of several faintly glowing stones from a small box. It was a small piece made to fit a child's wrist, but each stone was beautifully polished.
"Pretty."
"It is, isn't it? They're expensive," Father said jokingly.
Apparently, Mana Release Stones have the property of reacting to mana and drawing it out from within the body. When I put on the bracelet, the area around my wrist felt faintly warm.
"Do you feel anything?"
"...Yeah. It's warm."
"Good. Focus your awareness on that warmth. When you do, you should feel something flowing out from inside your body."
I did as I was told. When I concentrated on the warmth—ah, something was coming out.
I felt something slipping out from within me, passing through my wrist and dissipating into the air. It was like blood pulsing through a vein...
"It's coming out! Something's coming out!"
"Hahaha, that's right. That is mana."
Father laughed happily.
"Now, next, try to stop it. Focus on the idea of stopping the flow."
Stop it....It wouldn't stop. It just kept flowing out. I tried to concentrate, but it continued to drain steadily.
"Mmm..."
"Don't rush. That's how it is at first. Normally, it takes months before you can stop it."
In the end, all I could do on the first day was release it. My mana kept draining away without me knowing how to stop it, and before I realized it, I was exhausted.
"See, what did I tell you? That's enough for today."
"...Just a little more."
"No. A promise is a promise."
I reluctantly stopped. But I was already looking forward to tomorrow.
From the next day onward, Mother was the one who supervised my practice.
Father was busy with his duties as a lord; he couldn't be by my side every day. My older brothers and sisters had private magic tutors, but since what I was doing at four years old was still more like "playing," it didn't warrant a teacher's time.
So, Mother watched over me from the garden gazebo while she worked on her embroidery.
"Mother, it won't stop."
"There's no need to rush. Take your time."
Mother didn't give me detailed instructions about magic. However, she would immediately notice if I looked tired and tell me to stop for the day, and she would give a small nod whenever the flow weakened slightly.
That was enough.
In between, Mira would bring tea and snacks. She would watch me with a look of wonder while I was concentrating, then quietly head back inside.
I practiced the next day, and the day after that.
Even after a week, I couldn't stop it.
Mana was born somewhere in the center of my body and traveled through something like blood vessels—mana channels?—to reach the outside. When I focused on placing a membrane over the exit point to keep it from escaping, I began to feel the flow gradually weaken.
Just a little more. Just a little bit more.
In the second week, I focused on the sensation of tightening a faucet on the channel—and it stopped.
Release, then stop.
"...I did it!"
Mother looked up, her hands pausing over her embroidery.
"Rein... have you truly done it already?"
"Yeah!"
When Mother reported this to Father at dinner that night, Father's face was a mask of surprise.
"Two weeks? It usually takes half a year."
"Eh, half a year?"
"...Yeah. Learning it at this speed is incredibly fast. Especially for a four-year-old..."
Once I could stop the flow, the next step was adjusting the amount.
This was also difficult. Even if I tried to release just a little bit, it would either come out in a gush or not at all. It was another month before I was able to throttle the amount.
From that point on, just as Father had taught me, I practiced releasing a tiny, constant amount of mana. I kept a thin flow that perfectly balanced with the speed at which my body recovered.
"Why do I have to do this?" I asked during dinner one day.
"Mana recovers as you use it. Every time it recovers, the vessel grows slightly larger. That's why it's most efficient to keep using it constantly."
"Then wouldn't it be faster to release a lot...?"
"If you release too much, you'll empty yourself and collapse. You keep it flowing at a rate that balances with your recovery. It's tedious work, but it's the most certain way."
Once I became able to maintain that balance, I no longer needed to sit in the gazebo.
I trained so that I could keep the mana flowing while walking, while eating, or doing anything else. Mother's supervision ended as well, and I started doing it all day long, from morning until night.
As I did, I could feel the vessel within me gradually growing larger.
Yesterday's amount would start to feel insufficient, so I would increase the flow by just a little more, and then a little more. When I increased it, the balance would break and I would get tired again. But after a few days, I would adjust, and then I could increase it further.
The repetition was fascinating; I never got bored.
When several more months had passed, Father happened to come by to see my practice and spoke with genuine admiration.
"...Rein. You have considerably more mana than other children your age."
"Really?"
"Well, children your age haven't even started training yet. If you've been doing this every day for two years more than them, of course there will be a difference."
Father patted my head.
"You've stuck with it well. It's quite something."
"Hehe. It's because it's fun....But Father, when will I be able to use magic?"
"Well, it's quite early, but... in terms of mana quantity, it might be about time."
I might finally be able to use the magic I had longed for. I was overjoyed.