My consciousness drifted downward, as if sinking into a deep slumber.
In the midst of that descent, I saw memories.
They were his memories, as they always had been.
I still didn't quite understand why I was seeing them, but I had been watching them for a long time now, reliving his life through his own eyes.
He had fought in the Far East Campaign, surrounded by death, lamentation, and wailing; yet, he had steeled himself and kept moving forward.
And eventually, he had come to this academy.
I saw myself in those memories, too.
It felt strange to look at myself objectively... but I seemed to smile quite a lot.
Thinking back, I feel as though I had been living with a certain sense of suffocation before meeting Ray-san. It wasn't that I was particularly dissatisfied with my life. I had friends, and the people in the Gardening Club were kind. Even if we kept a certain distance, Dina-san was always there for me.
But, after all, I was a daughter of the Three Great Noble Families, and nearly everyone I interacted with was a noble. Other people tended to keep me at arm's length.
Above all, not being able to speak properly with Maria was agonizing. But when I thought about how she was also suffering because of me, I felt I couldn't reach out to her. What we needed then was time apart.
“Rebecca-senpai. Good morning.”
A bow.
Ray-san was a very polite person. I had thought so from the first time we met, but he seemed so detached and philosophical that it was hard to believe he was younger than me.
The memories of us talking in front of the flowerbeds he made were still fresh. Although the watering duties were fixed, I had actually been cheating—I had deliberately scheduled my duties to coincide with Ray-san’s.
At the time, it was simply out of curiosity; I wanted to talk to him more. I was interested in him because he was an Ordinary, neither a noble nor from a family of sorcerers.
Then, the seasons turned.
I lost in the Magics Chevalier, but I felt I had been able to give it my all.
“Amelia. Congratulations on winning.”
“Ah, thank you...”
“Congratulations, Amelia-chan!”
“Amelia, you were amazing!”
“Congratulations!”
Amelia-san had won the Newcomers' Tournament.
It was a staggering display of magic. It was undoubtedly Origin Magic—a power that interfered with causality. For her to manifest such an ability... it was proof that Amelia-san truly did inherit the blood of House Rose, the head of the Three Great Noble Families.
In the midst of the celebration, I wasn't looking at her. Instead, I watched Ray-san’s profile from a distance. Seeing him—someone who usually wore such a stiff expression—smiling so happily was a fresh experience.
“...”
I pressed my hand against my chest.
A sharp throb of pain ran through me. I wondered what it was. Keeping my hand there, I thought.
Ray-san really was a special person. Even though he was an Ordinary and was ridiculed as a Withered Wizard, he still carried himself with dignity and simply walked his path straight ahead. I admired that.
Admiration.
Perhaps it was arrogant of me to wish that I could be like him. Now that I knew his past—that harrowing, brutal past—I realized he became the Ray White he is today precisely because he survived the Far East Campaign. To look only at the surface and wish to be like him... it was the height of presumption.
“I...”
I whispered softly, pressing my hand to my chest.
I didn't yet know the name of the emotion I felt then.
Eventually, I met Evan Bernstein. I learned of his designs and the true intentions of House Bradley. From then on, I tried my best to act as I always did, but I knew Maria and Ray-san had seen right through me.
However, I couldn't bring myself to talk about it.
Later, seeing Maria and Ray-san getting along so well made me feel jealous. It wasn't directed at Maria for laughing with him while I was suffering. I was surely... jealous of Maria in a different sense.
the memories continued to cycle.
Ray-san learned of the events occurring in the shadows of this kingdom and approached Maria for her cooperation. Both of them looked miserable. They looked so, so pained.
I couldn't forgive the act of hurting me for my own sake. And yet, it had to be done. Glimpsing their conflict, I shed tears.
I had thought I was alone all this time. But these two cared for me so much. Moreover, Father had made his choice out of concern for me as well. It was all for my sake.
After learning everything, the primary thought I had was not one of resentment. I was simply, deeply relieved. I realized that all my worries had been groundless. Everything had been done for me.
In an instant, I remembered the sight of Ray-san smiling. The days I spent with him passed by like a revolving lantern.
Ah. I see. That’s what it was.
Finally. I finally understood.
Surely, this emotion is called “.”
◇
“Ma... Maria...”
I woke up.
It seemed I was resting on Maria’s lap. She was desperately exercising magic, and a massive amount of Prima Materia was overflowing from her.
Looking to the side, I saw Ray-san fighting a man with a massive build. It could only be described as a struggle to the death. A sorcerer of my level could no longer even comprehend the abnormality of that battle. They were, quite literally, on a different dimension.
But that made sense. After all, Ray-san was one of the Seven Grand Sorcerers.
He was the Ice Sword Sorcerer.
“Ugh... guuuu... uuuuuuuuuuugh!!”
Maria was desperately maintaining a defensive barrier while protecting me. She was by no means a master of magic. She was barely able to block the stray fragments of Prima Materia being scattered by those two. If they were any closer, Maria would likely have collapsed already.
Even so, she gritted her teeth, drenched in sweat, as she forced her magic to work. Seeing Maria like that, I realized how much she had truly grown.
As her big sister, what I had to do now was support her.
“...Maria. You did your best.”
I ran a code, weaving my own into Maria’s magic to create a much stronger barrier. This way, Maria wouldn't have to keep her magic active indefinitely.
“Big Sister?! You mustn't push yourself!!”
Noticing the magical intervention, Maria shouted at me, her voice thick with worry.
“Hahaha... Maria, you can make a voice like that too...”
“Idiot!! You have to stay quiet!! We don't know for sure if you're safe yet!!”
“Hey... Maria.”
I gently placed my hand on her cheek. It was swollen bright red where I had hit her in a fit of emotion. In a way that wasn't like me at all, I had struck her body many times and even pulled her hair.
She was a mess. Even so, I couldn't help but think that Maria was beautiful.
“I’m sorry... for everything, all this time... I’m sorry.”
“——!!”
In an instant, Maria’s face stiffened, and she raised her voice even louder.
“Don't say that now! Not after all this time!! I have so many things I want to apologize to you for, too!! I know you were working so hard for my sake!! So don't apologize like that!!”
“...Maria.”
Her shoulders heaving, Maria let it all out. That fight back then had been our first real fight as sisters. I had thought sisters like us would never fight because we had both kept our true feelings bottled up in our hearts for so long.
I knew that while her words had been meant to provoke my emotions, they had also been her honest feelings. That was why I had apologized.
But Maria had become much, much stronger than I had realized. The words I should have said weren't "I'm sorry."
I forced my trembling throat to move and said:
“...Maria. Thank you for everything. I love you so much.”
I said it. I was finally able to say it.
I had wanted to tell her that all this time. When we were young, it was so easy, so why did those words drift further away as the years passed? I really am a fool.
But I finally said it. Ah, my lovely Maria. You are so very beautiful.
“That’s... I do too! Me too!!”
We both began to cry. Once they started, the tears wouldn't stop. Both Maria and I must have looked terrible—faces red and swollen, tears and snot running everywhere. We looked truly pathetic.
But Maria was still beautiful. So, so beautiful.
“I’ve always loved you, Big Sister!! That’s never changed, not since we were little!!”
I sat up and hugged her. As I felt her against me, I was moved by how much she had grown.
We are so alike, it’s almost hopeless. Our appearances might be different, but we are sisters after all. The way our hearts work is very much the same.
“Maria... thank you. Thank you for everything. Thank you for supporting me. Thank you for being born.”
“Dummy. You're a dummy, Big Sister. For me... hic... it’s exactly the same...”
“You’re right... we’ve been passing each other by for so long. But from now on, let’s talk properly. Just the two of us, okay?”
“Yeah...”
I stroked her head. Her body had grown, but Maria was still my cute little sister. It had been so long since I had gently stroked her head like this.
“Big Sister...”
“What is it?”
“I’m sorry for doing those things, even though I knew how you felt...”
“...”
I knew. Because we are sisters. I understood why Maria did what she did, and why I had been so shaken by it.
Ah, we really are fools... For two sisters to the same person.
“It’s all right, Maria. I forgive you.”
“Yeah... yeah!!”
Once more, we hugged each other tightly, sharing our warmth.
“Maria.”
“Yeah.”
“Ray-san was the Ice Sword Sorcerer, wasn't he?”
“Yeah... he was. Ray worked so hard this whole time. For your sake, Big Sister.”
“...Yes. I know.”
Then, together, we watched. We watched him as he fought desperately, even as he bled.
It was a sight I had seen many times in his memories. But I felt that the current him was different from the man in the past; he didn't have that same sense of precariousness. I thought the way he skillfully wielded his ice swords to confront his opponent was simply beautiful.
Ray-san was a special person after all. No, that's not quite right.
He was a person who was special to me. That was all.
“Ray-san...”
Squeezing Maria’s hand, we sisters watched over the outcome of the battle. There was nothing left to divide us anymore——.