"Phew..."
I sighed, exhaling as I settled onto my bed.
Evi had already fallen asleep; I could hear the faint, rhythmic sound of his breathing in the dark.
In the silence, I reflected on the first day of the Cultural Festival.
On the whole, it had been a success. The Maid Cafe was flourishing, and I took some pride in knowing I had fulfilled my duties as Lily to the best of my ability.
But as Amelia warned, I couldn't afford to be complacent. The real challenge was only just beginning.
"..."
I wasn't worried about the class project. My concern lay with Rebecca-senpai. She seemed to be in better spirits lately, but I hadn't missed the occasional flicker of shadow across her expression.
She appeared fine while we were on patrol today, but I suspected it was only because she was putting on a brave face.
Thinking about what the future held, I eventually drifted off into a slumber.
◇
"Ray. Ray, what’s wrong?"
"Master...?"
A dream.
I was dreaming.
I knew with total clarity that this was a dream. It had been a long time since I had revisited the past like this.
"It’s rare for you to take a nap."
"Yes. Perhaps I’m just tired."
This was, if I recalled... before the Far East Campaign had truly intensified. Now, even this memory felt like it belonged to a lifetime ago.
"Whew..."
"Alcohol again? The Colonel will scold you. And Carol will nag you, too."
"Idiot. I want to say I can’t get through this without a drink... but you’re right. I’ll stop for today."
Master set her drink aside and gazed intently out the window. She leaned back in her chair, her eyes fixed on something far beyond the horizon.
"The funeral."
"...Yes."
"It’s tomorrow."
"...I understand."
"Then that’s fine. I’m going to sleep for a bit."
"Yes."
With that, Master headed toward the bedroom.
The funeral she mentioned was for a comrade in our unit—someone who had lost their life on the battlefield during our recent operation.
It was my first time attending a funeral. I hadn't been able to mourn the people lost in my village. I didn't even know what had happened to my parents; I only knew that they were gone.
After I met Master, I met many other adults.
They were all kind people.
And yet, people died on the battlefield. Even though we had been together until yesterday, even though we had been talking so intimately, they were simply gone.
I wondered why. Why was I losing things again?
The next day, the morning of the funeral arrived.
Dressed in mourning clothes, we lined up at the church. As if to match our mood, it was raining—a torrential downpour. I wondered if the sky was wailing for us.
"..."
The ceremony began.
I placed a flower on him inside the casket. I didn't know the name of the flower, but it was beautiful. It reminded me of a single blossom I’d seen blooming proudly amidst the carnage of a battlefield.
Soon, his body was covered in a sea of pure white petals.
I could hear the sound of weeping and stifled sobs all around me.
I happened to look up at Master standing next to me. She was simply staring at his corpse with a detached expression.
He looked as if he were merely sleeping, as if he might sit up and wake at any moment. His face was that peaceful.
It felt like he might challenge me to a game of poker at any second. But that would never happen again. He was dead.
I had left my tears on the battlefield. I had said my goodbyes there, too.
I was the only person who had witnessed his final moments.
I had already heard his last words.
"Ray... you live on. I'll be watching you grow from the ends of this sky. Take care, Ray. I was truly happy to have met you. Thank you."
Hearing those words in my memory, I began to weep uncontrollably.
I was just so sad. Why did he have to die? Why, why... I searched for an answer, but there was none. There was no meaning to be found.
He would never return.
Only that cold fact remained.
Once again, I was forced to confront the ruthlessness of the battlefield.
"Ugh... ugh... hic... ugh..."
Carol was crying beside me. Usually a jokester, Carol was deeply sentimental. When a comrade died, she shed more tears than anyone.
Then came the burial.
The rain continued to pour, as if a bucket had been overturned in the heavens.
In the midst of the storm, Master and Abby-san didn't use umbrellas. As if lost in thought, they let themselves be drenched by the freezing rain.
I stayed by Carol's side, stroking her back as she broke down. It was the only thing I could do for her right then.
"..."
I lowered my umbrella and looked up at the sky.
Lead-gray clouds. Rain that never seemed to end.
I carved the ugliness of this world into my heart once more.
People die. Eventually, inevitably. I knew I would likely face many more deaths from now on.
With those thoughts, I seared the sight of his burial into my mind.
My memories of him would live on within me.
And I would carry his regrets. Master had taught me that by doing so, his death would not be in vain.
"Ugh... ugh..."
Carol was starting to calm down, her sobbing growing less frequent. Our gazes met. Tears still streamed down her cheeks without end.
I faced her.
"Ray-chan... thank you."
"No... it's okay."
"Ray-chan, please don't ever disappear."
"...I won't."
Carol hugged me tightly, and I accepted it. I had already let go of my umbrella.
When she finally let go, I walked over to Master and Abby-san.
Both were silent.
But looking closely, I saw that they were quietly shedding tears.
The tracks were washed away by the torrential rain, but there was no mistake—they were crying.
That’s right.
It was the same for everyone.
It was sad.
When someone precious is lost, it hurts.
The heart aches. It’s a sharp, chronic pain that eats away at you. We have to carry that burden as we continue to move forward.
Suddenly, I turned around. I knew this was a dream, but for some reason, I felt a gaze on my back.
"Ray-san...?"
Standing there was Rebecca-senpai. She was wearing her usual Academy uniform, staring at me in a daze. My own reflection was no longer that of a child, but my current self.
She was a foreign existence that had entered this world.
Rebecca-senpai and I were sharing this dream.
"Rebecca-senpai? Why are you here? No, this is... supposed to be a dream."
"Ray-san... who are you, really?"
"..."
This was a dream.
I had no obligation to answer, and the fact that we were even talking was likely just my brain's projection. Yet, I decided to give her an honest answer.
While being hammered by the relentless rain, I whispered softly.
"Senpai. I am—"
◇
"...A dream?"
I snapped awake.
My body was drenched in sweat. At the same time, I felt something warm trickle from my right eye. It wasn't a tear. It was blood.
Wiping it away, I headed to the washroom.
I washed the blood off my hands and checked my eye in the mirror. The bleeding had already stopped, and there was no pain.
But why did that dream feel so vivid?
Dreams of the past weren't rare. I often dreamt of the moments my comrades died and of their funerals. Right after the Far East Campaign ended, the nightmares had been constant.
The problem was Senpai appearing at the end.
I hadn't met Rebecca-senpai back then. And yet, there she was, looking exactly as she did now.
It felt unnervingly real.
I couldn't shake the feeling that this was more than just a dream.
Looking out the window, I saw the first light of dawn beginning to break.
The curtain was about to rise on the second day of the Cultural Festival.