That day, House Isono was in a state of excitement unlike any other in its long history.
Hanako-san, who had gone into labor a few days before her due date, was rushed to the hospital. A child of the hero of House Isono was about to be born. Moreover, that lineage was already spoken for by the Galactic Empire’s Imperial House. It was a certainty that they would produce an Emperor in either the next generation or the one after.
Talk about a guaranteed success for the advancement of House Isono!
It was actually Wifey’s plan, but I figured it would be impossible to force if the couple themselves hated the idea. However, I had already discussed it with that bastard Isono and Hanako-san. I intended to prioritize their personal happiness above all else.
In any case, the birth was happening. It was a smooth delivery via a Cesarean section, made even safer by Zork Technology. Thanks to nanomachines, the post-operative pain was almost non-existent.
While the birth was underway, the male relatives were holding a massive drinking party. Their wives, meanwhile, were quietly fuming. Eventually, I received a report from Isono’s Sister, delivered with a bright smile.
I did wonder, however, why there was a "G-r-r-r-rumble..." sound coming from the background. I didn't know anything about that, and I certainly didn't want to get involved.
In the midst of all that tension, that bastard Amada called me with a pointless message to brag, "My kid is just so cute~!"
I felt a surging sense of duty to punch him through the phone, but since Amada’s Baby really was adorable, I decided to forgive him.
"It’s your uncle-wuncle~!" I cooed, waving my hand at the screen.
A few hours later, I was relieved to hear that the child had been born safely. Since Isono would likely give a direct report later, we decided to hold our own banquet.
"A baby’s been born!"
Sizzle, sizzle went the yakisoba.
"Congratulations, Isono-kun!"
Everyone toasted. I prepared a meal packed with fried foods, completely ignoring any semblance of nutritional value. French fries, karaage, yakisoba, and fried rice! Come to think of it, we had some commercial-grade frozen mapo tofu, too. I dumped that in as well.
"Help yourselves, everyone!"
It started to feel like a buffet at a town Chinese restaurant, but if you worried about the details, you lost. Kinako and Momo-chan were getting their share of snacks as well.
And so, hyahha!
"More and more children are being added to our family too, aren't they?"
"Right~?"
Wifey and Claire seemed to be enjoying themselves. Melissa looked happy as well.
Man, this was great. All that was left was to uncover the true intentions of the Zashiki-warashi and Himorogi-chan. I didn't think they would do anything to our disadvantage, though.
Suddenly, the screen projected the scene at the House Isono drinking party. The men were being forced to sit in seiza while their wives chewed them out.
Is this... something I’m actually allowed to watch?
"It was interesting, so I broadcasted it," Fairy said, appearing with a sparkle.
We hadn't let ourselves go to the point of breaking things yet, so I figured we were forgiven. But it seemed the old men of House Isono had been dead drunk to the point of collapse. That was when Isono’s Sister and the other wives snapped. They were all forced into seiza and were being thoroughly scolded.
The voices of us guys in the room dropped an octave.
"Hey, Leo... do you think we’ll end up like that too?"
"Eddy... I’m sure you’ll be fine."
"Well, I mean, yeah, but..."
While we were whispering, Minerva-chan appeared behind us with a smile. "I consider myself a tolerant person, but..."
Instantly, I performed a jumping dogeza. I followed it up with another jumping dogeza. No one in the Pro-Emperor Faction hesitates when it comes to a dogeza.
Ah, we were already just like those bastards from House Isono. It was already too late for us.
"Geez, you don't have to dogeza! Leo-kun, you too!"
"B-but, Minerva..."
"I'm not particularly angry. Don't worry anymore, Eddy. Let's just talk things through properly as a couple as we live our lives."
Ah... how beautiful... I really wanted to show this to the men of House Isono who were currently being thrashed!
"It's not like our house is strict either~" Claire said to me.
"Umu, I only forbade passenger cars," Wifey joined in.
It was true that I usually did whatever I wanted without hearing any complaints. Bikes and cars were only banned because I had a habit of crashing them. If you asked if I was living as I pleased, I suppose I was. It wasn't something I’d go around bragging about as "freedom" or anything, though.
I heard that Leonidas-kun, who was my cousin on paper, was currently being shaken down for yakiniku by Big Sister-in-Law Uta. Compared to that, I felt like I had it pretty good. And they both intended for those outings to be dates!
Well, whatever.
It was only natural, but Wifey and Claire had due dates that were very close—maybe only a few days apart. I felt like that information alone would make people think I was a beast, but both of them had officially recognized the situation.
The media said some relatively harsh things, but the general public impression was, "He's human, so he's bound to have at least one bad habit." Actually, I had Lu's Mom say harsh things on purpose. It was all about venting. Since the public knew Lu’s Mom was my friend, her airing her grievances was received favorably as a friend’s concern.
Thanks to that, I felt like my womanizing was being somewhat overlooked. However, I didn't appreciate the suspicions that Helga was a new mistress. That was disrespectful to Helga! I made sure to have that officially refuted.
In any case, we were happy. Those who were unmarried before the Zork War were having children one after another. It was a full-blown baby rush. The women were cranking out babies left and right. Seeing my female classmates become mothers one after another somehow made me feel like we had become Taijin.
It was hard to fill the gaps they left at work, but everyone was sharing the load. Actually, brothers and sisters were being sent over from each house to help out. Rikochi was also talking about how nice children were.
"Ah, this is delicious. Leo-kun! This yakiniku is delicious!"
Was she talking about wanting children, or was she just focused on the food?
At this banquet, there were also people who had brought their babies along. Before long, I’d probably see swarms of toddlers running around.
As for the infants, One-O-One and Tatiana were helping out skillfully. Those two were amazing. I could understand Tatiana being good at it, but the fact that even One-O-One was helping out properly was impressive. Shi-yun, meanwhile, was just flustered alongside the Lady-in-waiting.
Hmm, I was starting to see a trend.
"Claire, by any chance, did Tatiana and One-O-One help out in the Obstetrics and Gynecology Ward?"
"You noticed?"
"Well, they’re taking care of the babies so fluidly."
"It seems they did a rotation there. For One-O-One, I think it was also part of her education to understand humans."
Big brother was intensely moved right now. I was overwhelmed by the growth of the younger generation!
"Humans really do grow... I’ll do my best too."
When I said that, everyone present looked at me in dead silence. What was with those looks? Why were they staring at me like that?
Then, Wifey let out an exasperated sigh. "Lord Groom, you do not need to do your best. Please, just relax."
...The Fate of the Jester.
I chewed on that thought along with a French fry.