"Look... seriously, hold on."
"Ah! Was I being a bit too pushy? Sorry~!"
"Well, no... it’s fine, but..."
Sensing that the situation was getting truly dangerous, I pleaded for her to get off me. Perhaps she actually listened when someone made a direct request, because she quietly pulled away.
Onitsuka-senpai took a step back, but the citrus scent that had enveloped me continued to drift through the air. I wanted to fan it away with my hand, but I didn't have the courage to do that right in front of her.
"So... Onitsuka-senpai?"
"Tamao is fine~! Repeat after me: 'Ta-ma-o'-senpai!"
"No, that's... a bit too sudden. I mean, is that really okay?"
"Yep, what is it?"
"No, I mean, could you just calm down?"
Onitsuka-senpai stood before me. Even though she had just pulled away, she was leaning forward so much it felt like she was about to hug me again. Much like when Ashida had found Natsukawa earlier, I could practically see a phantom tail wagging furiously behind her. Her hands, poised as if ready to pounce, were terrifying. What exactly about me was getting her so worked up...?
"Your sense of distance is... well, it's not normal."
"T-That’s right!"
"It's beyond being bold..."
"...? I mean, you're Kaede's Little Brother, right?"
Even Ashida, who was plenty fond of physical contact, was taken aback. Yet Onitsuka-senpai didn't seem to realize the gravity of what she had done. Just because I was her best friend's brother didn't mean she should go all "I want to hug him! I want to touch him!" It wasn't like I was a pet... well, I suppose I was a Shepherd for a while during the Cultural Festival.
"That's true, but... I am a guy, you know."
"I know."
I couldn't tell if she truly understood. Gyarus possess infinite potential. I couldn't read her thought process at all. She said it was "somehow" or "just because," but I didn't think she was simply doting on me. I felt like she had an ulterior motive.
"—That's why I came here to make you fall for me."
"What the hell?"
I accidentally slipped into informal speech.
Wait, that's scary. She was explicitly trying to seduce me. That hug was totally calculated. She was using her body for all it was worth. She came at me with one hundred percent of her feminine wiles. It was a honey trap.
Whether it was intentional or subconscious, it felt like the intermediate steps to her conclusion were completely missing. Why did me being Nee-chan's brother and coincidentally being of the opposite sex lead to "making me fall for her"? Where did the middle of that syllogism go? Where was the "step" in her "hop, skip, and jump"? She was just skipping the whole way. It was skip-logic.
"So, did you fall? Did you?"
"I didn't (almost, but I didn't)."
"Aww, so close! I feel like I was right there!"
"That was danger—no, not at all. Not even close."
"Sajocchi..."
"So simple..."
I realized there was a calculation behind that alluring embrace. Her goal was apparently to make me fall for her.
Hmph, this woman underestimated me. I almost got caught in the Jorogumo's web. Well, actually, I feel like I was caught by the Jorogumo herself before that. The citrus scent clinging to my body felt like a badge of honor... it wasn't a marking, was it?
"What do you plan to do after making me fall for you?"
"Eh? First, we date, obviously~"
"Eh?"
"Eh?"
Not using me and squeezing me for money before dumping me cruelly? We were actually going to date properly? I mean, was Senpai okay with that? I wasn't dangerous like Nee-chan, nor was I a moderately handsome guy with a good personality like Sasaki.
"A-And then?"
"Then we flirt and stuff, right~? And then, happiness!"
"..."
"Wa-ta-ru."
"Hah...!?"
Dangerous...! Her reason for making me fall for her was so simple and ideal that I almost liked her for a second...! I couldn't be fooled! Surely Senpai was hiding some true motive. If it had come to this, should I ask the forbidden question...? Should I? Because this wasn't even in the realm of a misunderstanding anymore.
"Senpai... do you like me?"
"? Nope."
"Dammit...! What...! What the hell... seriously...!"
"Sa-Sajocchi..."
My right fist punished my own knee. I almost threw out a left too. It wouldn't have just ended with pain. Gosh, my face was burning.
Now it was confirmed. This "best friend of my sister" was just a bad gyaru who got off on teasing younger guys. She didn't care what means she used as long as she could drop a guy, and she probably thought otakus were like filthy cockroaches or something. Alright, we're done here.
"...Fine. Then what's the reason for making me fall for you?"
"Hmm, I guess your affection level isn't high enough yet."
"—"
"Wataru has gone completely pale..."
...I see. This is what it means to be "led around by a woman." I felt like I'd become an adult again. This is how people grew. Ah... just for now, I wanted to get away from the opposite sex and play Smash Bros with just the guys. I wanted to feel at peace.
"Ahaha~ I guess it's tough with so little time. Job hunting is hard, so I thought I'd have you be my boyfriend to heal me."
No sooner had I been surprised by Onitsuka-senpai's words than Natsukawa stood up as if she had been spring-loaded.
"F-For a reason like that...! Even though you don't even like him...!"
"Whether I like him or not doesn't matter. It's not like we're getting married or anything~ As long as both parties agree and are having fun, I think it's fine~"
"T-That's..."
This low barrier to entry for romance... this was undoubtedly what you'd call a "normie." And the ultimate complete form of "Gyaru x Normie" at that. I never thought Nee-chan would have a party person like this as a best friend. I thought Shinomiya-senpai was her only friend.
Natsukawa, who had bit back, seemed unable to find a retort to Onitsuka-senpai's words. For the pure and upright Natsukawa, romance probably looked like two people slowly deepening their bond, falling for each other over a long time, and then one of them confessing to start dating. That wasn't wrong. It just wasn't the only reality.
—But, precisely because Natsukawa was like that, I...
"Well, people are free to do what they want, I guess."
"Ah! Does Little Brother think so too?"
"That's why this girl is fine the way she is. 'If you don't have romantic feelings, you shouldn't date.' She can just find someone with the same values, deepen their bond, and have their own way of dating. As long as they both agree and are happy, I think that's fine."
"Ah..."
"Wow, how cool."
It wasn't a sparkle moment. Wait... it didn't resonate at all. She was too strong. What was this ultimate complete being? She said she was job hunting, but was it really okay to let someone like this out into society...? I was terrified she'd get promoted based on nothing but her high tension.
The romantic theory Onitsuka-senpai spouted was probably just a random excuse. In the first place, someone who had reached the peak of being a normie likely didn't think about the "nature of romance" or anything specific. Even if forced to choose between two options, she'd probably just drift back and forth depending on the time and situation. Well, I guess that was fine. If she was happy that way.
"Ahaha, I see, I see... so that's how it is."
"?"
"You're not just close in age, you're more mature than I thought—Little Brother."
"Are you about to fall for me?"
"Yeah."
"Eh."
No way, seriously? Oh crap, I was getting excited. What do I do?
...Just kidding. She probably just gave that answer reflexively and carelessly. There was no way I'd be fooled at this point. This person was a high-level threat, second only to Yuki-chan. There was no way I'd ever fall for her. How many years did she think I'd been in love with one person? Give me a break.
"—I guess that's it for today."
"...!"
An aura of withdrawal emanated from Onitsuka-senpai. I couldn't miss this chance. The atmosphere around us was already getting pretty bad, so I needed her to leave as soon as possible.
"It's about that time, anyway. Isn't Nee-chan probably looking for you by now?"
"Keep this a secret from Kaede, okay?"
"I've got a loose tongue, you know."
I definitely couldn't not tell Nee-chan about this. I had no idea what their relationship was specifically, but if it was true, I needed her to keep a tight rein on this girl. Only a tiger can hunt a panther, after all. Shinomiya-senpai might be able to take her on with her bare hands, though.
"Then~ here's a bribe—"
"Hm? Eh—"
"Ah...!"
The left half of my vision was blocked. A soft sensation touched the eyelid I had closed in a panic.
When I opened my eyes, Onitsuka-senpai's lips were already moving away from my field of vision.
"Take it easy with your left hand. Hijimaro-style, okay?"
"..."
"See ya~"
The citrus scent drifted away. Perhaps because my brain had glitched, my blurry visual information was of no use.
The culprit left the classroom, completely unbothered by the fact that she was the center of attention. Not able to think of any parting words, I forgot how to move, my mind stuck on the pain in my left hand.
"...What... eh...?"
I suddenly snapped back to my senses after a large bubble popped inside my half-open mouth. I absentmindedly touched my eyelid with the tips of my left fingers, but there was only thin, dry skin there. I couldn't feel even a hint of moisture.
"...Eh?"
The first kiss I ever received from the opposite sex in my life was, surprisingly, on my left eyelid.
The level was so high that I didn't even feel any deep emotion. Rather, I felt a chill at how she didn't even care where it landed. Was this the path of the strong in romance?
"..."
"Ah, um... Sajocchi."
"W-What is it... look at me."
The two of them looked stunned. Even when I looked toward them for help, there was no favorable reaction. Natsukawa's voice came back sounding displeased. It seemed neither of them could find the words to change the atmosphere of the room. After hesitating, I voiced my straightforward question.
"What... is a 'Hijimaro'?"
"...Who knows."
"..."