The day after the flurry of school events, each with its own share of trouble, began with a sluggish awakening. I woke up drenched in sweat from a fever caused by my injury, and I ended up having to take a bath—which was already an ordeal—after going a whole night without one. Exhausted from the start, I forced down a bowl of porridge Mom had made, swallowed some painkillers and fever reducers, and fell back into a deep sleep due to the side effects. I had only just woken up again.
"Man..."
Sitting on the bed, I muttered blankly with bleary eyes. Ever since I started high school, I felt like I'd been plagued by ill health—collapsing at school during the rainy season, and now a major injury in the autumn. It was strange... My body was supposed to be a High-spec Zombie, boasting enough sturdiness to recover countless times from Nee-chan’s senseless pro-wrestling moves, to the point where I'd even mastered techniques to counter them...
"Hm...?"
My phone vibrated. I had left it by my pillow since I first woke up.
It was already mid-afternoon. When I checked it, I found nearly twenty message notifications piled up. The class had held an after-party yesterday, so there were likely updates from groups I wasn't involved in. Opening the app, I saw that several people had sent messages directly to me.
[I figured you'd want to hear this. Get well soon.]
"Oh..."
It was a video of the karaoke session from the Class Rep, Iiboshi-san. When I played it, there was Natsukawa, holding the mic with both hands and singing. This was it—this was exactly what I was looking for. With this, I could find the strength to face Nee-chan again...!
[Here, you'd better be grateful.]
"This one too..."
A similar video arrived from Yamazaki. This time, not just Natsukawa, but Ashida was in the frame as well. Truly, a friend is a thing to be cherished...! He’d done his best work since I’d known him. I’d have to treat him to something next time.
"...Eh?"
And then there was Matsuda. We had a neutral relationship; we sat near each other but rarely spoke, yet for some reason, he had sent me a video of Natsukawa singing. It was a shot from a different angle than the previous two. He’d gone out of his way to register me as a friend just to send it personally; he must have been being considerate... What a good guy.
Then came Yasuda, Iwata, Ogami, and several other girls, all sending videos of Natsukawa singing—Wait, you bastards? Are you really filming this out of the kindness of your hearts? I can practically feel your base desires coming through the screen. Is there no low-angle shot?
The fact that they were all sending them without a word made me feel like they were being considerate, just like Matsuda, but... what was this feeling? It felt like someone was leaving greasy fingerprints all over my phone screen.
"...!"
While scrolling through the other senders with murderous intent, a certain name caught my eye. The display name was Yuu Ichinose. It was Ichinose-san's older brother, Kuma-san-senpai.
[She's calmed down now. It would be a help if you could contact her at some point.]
"..."
Words that felt somewhat desperate. His tone seemed less like that of a senior and more like that of an older brother. I could tell how much he cherished his little sister.
Last night, after finishing my call with Natsukawa, I had sent a message to Ichinose-san apologizing for making her worry. She had called me immediately afterward, but we could hardly hold a conversation. All I could hear on the other end was the sound of Ichinose-san sobbing while trying to say something falteringly. Honestly, I couldn't understand a word of it.
"I didn't think she'd actually cry..."
When I had messaged her brother to let him know, he had stepped in to support her. According to him, Ichinose-san had been deeply shocked and shaken by the news of my injury. I felt nothing but apologetic for this unforeseen situation. My telling Natsukawa that she was at her part-time job must have been a lie; her shift was different from what I’d heard from Ichinose-san before.
"...Phew."
With my heart racing a bit, I sent a message to Ichinose-san asking, "Hello, is it okay to call now?" A reply came about a minute later saying, "Yes." I told her, "Okay, I'm calling," and pressed the button. After the familiar melody played, I heard the click of the line connecting.
"Um... It’s been since yesterday, Ichinose-san."
"...H-Hello."
"Have you calmed down since yesterday?"
"Y-Yes..."
I spoke as gently as possible. I used to do the same thing back when we first started communicating at the part-time job. It felt nostalgic. The voice that came back sounded muffled and groggy, as if I’d given her a wake-up call.
"So, I'm sorry, okay? It seems I really made you worry."
"I-I should be the one...! I couldn't... even find the words to say to you..."
"I got injured because of my own clumsiness, so you don't need to worry about it."
"..."
"I guess... it doesn't work that way, huh..."
An awkward atmosphere drifted through the phone. It really felt like we’d reverted to the time when we were just beginning to get to know each other at work. We hadn't been close enough to call ourselves "easygoing" to begin with, but we were supposed to have reached a point where we weren't so reserved.
If you keep clashing reservation against reservation, the distance between you will never close. So, prepared for her to pull away, I took a step forward.
"I appreciate you worrying about me, but... well—was it really enough to cry over?"
"...!"
I asked in a slightly playful tone, making sure not to sound like I was mocking her. That way, I could gauge Ichinose-san's true feelings. I couldn't afford to get this wrong.
"...Is your injury... okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine."
The sudden change in topic caught me off guard. While slightly bewildered, I simply replied that I was okay, trying to act tough. In reality, there were parts of daily life I was currently struggling with, but I was a man. I didn't want to show weakness to a girl.
"—Yesterday... I couldn't even say... something as simple as that."
"Eh?"
"I'm sorry."
Question marks floated in my head. Ichinose-san hadn't done anything wrong. Whether or not Ichinose-san, who wasn't even involved, chose to worry about my injury was entirely up to her. To be honest, even if she had just greeted me with a casual "Good morning" when school resumed, I wouldn't have thought ill of her. I wasn't being friendly with Ichinose-san just in exchange for her kindness. That wasn't what friendship or a bond was about.
"You're very kind, Ichinose-san."
"—N-No, I'm not...!"
"Eh?"
The unexpected denial made me ask back in surprise. I knew about Ichinose-san's kindness from the way she handled books. Sometimes it might change form and become a weakness, but without it, the Ichinose-san of today wouldn't exist. It was a vital element that shaped her. To say she didn't have it now was something I couldn't accept; it was simply impossible.
"When I heard Sajou-kun had gone to the hospital, the first thing I felt was disappointment. I thought, 'What about our outing tomorrow?' I was sure it would be canceled."
"..."
"I hated myself for only thinking about my own concerns... Even when I tried to contact Sajou-kun, I didn't know what to say or when to call...!"
"Um, Ichinose-san—"
"Even if I wanted to visit you, I didn't know which hospital you were at...! I didn't know where your house was...! I... I don't know anything about Sajou-kun...!"
"Ichinose-san."
"I'm sorry...! I'm sorry for being unable to do anything...!"
"............"
What came through like a scream were Ichinose-san's jumbled emotions. That was likely the reality of it. She couldn't settle her feelings, didn't know what to do, and felt completely powerless. It must have been even worse if she was caught between her own selfish desires and her consideration for others. I had felt a similar frustration before. I remembered being able to do nothing but hang my head.
However, Ichinose-san had put those emotions into words and conveyed them to me. Honestly, I thought it was amazing. If you're clumsy, you can't put your feelings into words well. On the other hand, if you're clever, you try to process them within yourself. It was supposed to be something very difficult to do.
"It makes me happy, though."
"...Eh...?"
"It means you were looking forward to our date today that much, right?"
"Eh...?! Ah...!"
There was a certain Disputant who insisted this wasn't a date. The Attack Power packed into those words had been so great that it had been dealing continuous damage to my heart until just now, making me feel like I was going to throw up. But hearing Ichinose-san's tearful "I wanted to go on a date! Waaah! (※She didn't actually say that)" made my heart feel all warm and fuzzy. I was sure my left hand would be healed by tomorrow like in a gag manga.
"Was I wrong?"
"Hya—ah, no, it's not—um...!"
"I'll definitely make this up to you."
"Ah..."
"So—sorry about today. Let me rest for just a bit."
"Y-Yeesss..."
In effect, I was the one who had canceled the date at the last minute. Could such a kind girl really exist? Wait... maybe Ichinose-san is actually a really good girl when we're not in a professional relationship...?
"See you tomorrow at school."
"Yes... See you."
"Goodbye then."
With that, I waited a moment and then hung up.
My mood was bright. I felt bad for Ichinose-san, who still seemed unsettled, but I felt so peaceful that I almost forgot the pain in my left hand. Maybe it was just a side effect of the medicine. I felt like I could have some good dreams now, and to get better quickly, I should get one more—nap?
"........."
".........Hello."
"...Ah, um, hey."
The phone I was holding slid down onto the thigh of my navy blue sweatpants, and the impact finally made my throat move. But before I could weave the next words together, The Disputant—Natsukawa—who had stepped into the room, expressionlessly placed an eco-bag onto the nightstand next to the bed.
"This is... a get-well gift."
"Oh, thanks... You didn't have to do that."
Inside the bag were the usual items: pudding, Pocari, cartons of vegetable juice, and onigiri—Onigiri?! They were wrapped in plastic wrap?! Are these handmade by Natsukawa-san?!
"Um, this..."
Whether it was a dream or reality, seeing her act like a Goddess rather than The Disputant made my gaze wander back and forth between the onigiri and Natsukawa. As I tried to confirm who had made them, I felt a gentle warmth on my left hand.
"Is this it...?"
"Ah... N-Natsukawa."
Without lifting it, Natsukawa cupped my left hand in both of hers and stared painfully at the red-stained area facing upward. Since it had received treatment beyond the ordinary, its exaggerated appearance was enough to make anyone else turn away. I felt like Natsukawa's gaze alone made the regeneration of my skin tingle and accelerate.
"...Does it hurt?"
"Well... even with the painkillers, it still hurts a bit."
"...You're such a klutz."
"Yeah. Really. I'm an idiot..."
I'm sorry for calling you The Disputant. You are a Goddess. I will support you for the rest of my life. That's right, I'll set up a household shrine in my room. I shall offer prayers every day with this onigiri as the sacred object, and with my divine power, I shall ensure Natsukawa always takes first place in the horoscopes. Rejoice, everyone born in October.
"—I'm sorry."
"Eh..."
"Get well soon."
"Ah, Natsukawa."
With the empty eco-bag in hand, Natsukawa promptly left the room. Before I could stop her, I heard the sound of her footsteps heading down the stairs. It was such a sudden development that I didn't even have time to chase after her.
"...'I'm sorry'?"
Was it for denying the term "date"? For that... her expression and tone had been far too fleeting. I didn't think it was enough to cause Natsukawa such suffering. If that were the case, what on earth was she apologizing for?
'—I'm sorry. Right now... I'm not interested in romance.'
".........Heh, I'm used to it."
How many times had I heard those words?
A heart that wavers, changes, and shifts. Once one thing is understood, another mystery deepens. Even if one were to sustain an injury for someone's sake, it was of no use in seeing through the autumn skies.