This was way too much for a first-year like me to handle... If I hadn't been careful, I would’ve blurted out, "Uh, what am I supposed to do after hearing that?" A heavy-handed fist from Ishiguro-senpai probably would’ve come flying my way if I had. It was a good thing I’d stuffed my mouth with food.
"Second point."
Are you kidding me?
Wait, the first one is already over? I thought that was some pretty heavy stuff. So he was just sharing the reality of the situation with me for now? Man, it makes me anxious if you don't serve it as a Happy Meal bundled with a solution. Not that I necessarily want to know if it’s already been settled, but still.
"This is based on the information we obtained from you, Sajou’s younger brother, and the results of Kai’s subsequent investigation."
"Y-Yessir."
I felt like I was going to barf.
What if I’d given them useless information? I could tell the digestion of the bento side dishes I just wolfed down hadn't even started yet. I’m counting on you, Kai-senpai...! For my sake...! Give us some useful info...!
"I heard you collected some documents from the Executive Committee three days ago."
Watch your phrasing.
I didn't "collect" them. Could you just call it an errand? If anything, it was my first real errand. What? You're saying Nee-chan made me do errands for her plenty of times before this? Give me a break, you don't call those "errands." Those were a "lifestyle habit"...
"Just as you reported, almost all the documents handed over were indeed compiled by hand. Not just the documents from external support and volunteers, but even the internal materials were included, without exception."
"I see... That was the case, wasn't it?"
"The cause is the Cultural Festival Executive Committee’s advisor."
"...Huh?"
The cause of the handwritten documents is the advisor...? I only just found out there even was an advisor. Granted, I’d only peeked into the classroom a few times, but I never saw anyone who looked like a teacher there...?
Wait, hang on. "All handwritten"...?
"............No way, is it Oneda from Contemporary Society...?"
"Specifically, it’s Oneda Hitoshi, who’s in charge of Contemporary Society and Japanese History."
From what I’d heard, he was a male teacher over sixty who looked like a total geezer. If you even thought about chatting during his class, he’d launch into a long, persistent lecture, so we were always forced into fifty minutes of dead silence. It left an impression on me because, for the midterms and finals, the test papers were all copies of things he’d handwritten with a felt-tip pen on rough newsprint. I think there were a few incidents where girls with small handwriting had their correct answers marked wrong because he simply couldn't read them...
"Could this be because of that, too...?"
"No, that’s an issue with the teachers' rotations. Fundamentally, a senior staff member is supposed to take on the role of an event advisor, but, well... To tell the truth, during last year’s 'Movement,' while others treated him like a god best left alone, Oneda was someone who loudly took the side of the 'East'... Well, he was mostly just shouting, but it was convenient, so we let him be."
Another pain in the ass.
Apparently, he was just someone who’d been around forever. An old man who’d gone through several transfers and ended up back here to finish out his career. I mean, wasn't the theme for this year’s Cultural Festival something like "A New Era"? Why is the person responsible for the preparations someone who reeks of the Showa era and has such a loud ego?
"Setting aside the first problem, um... is there a solution?"
When I asked, Yuuki-senpai spoke coldly.
"There is. It’ll be a brute-force approach, but we’ll have no choice but to seek 'external cooperation' again this year. Naturally, we’ll use the budget allocated to the Student Council and the Cultural Festival Executive Committee."
"But the budget is—"
"I hear the Executive Committee is strapped for cash... but fortunately, it seems last year’s Student Council acted like spoiled brats. The school administration misunderstood and thought that budget was 'necessary,' so it was carried over to this year as well. Even those spiteful people couldn't have foreseen that far ahead, I suppose."
"...However, it's true that things are still precarious. That's why, instead of 'outsourcing,' we will use 'family members.' Fortunately, Renji’s family runs a top-tier IT company."
Whoa, whoa, whoa! I feel like this is moving way beyond the scope of student life! Seriously, why did you call me here? It's just a "You're probably curious, so we'll let you know!" kind of thing, right?! That's it, right?!
"Also, regarding Oneda, we’ll flatter him into being a mere figurehead. If he notices our intent and tries to make a scene, we’ll simply hold him accountable. The responsibility for forcing half-baked 'methods' onto the Cultural Festival preparations while neglecting the actual problems..."
"Eek..."
Scary! Ishiguro-senpai is terrifying! He has zero intention of being kind! Well, I guess being quietly made a figurehead is peaceful in its own way...? Either way, my condolences... I guess this is the downside of falling behind the times.
"Is Hanawa-senpai on board with this...?"
"Normally he’d find it a hassle... but that relates to the third problem."
"Eh...?"
"Well... this is the story that we’re hesitant to tell Kaede..."
While Ishiguro-senpai remained unfazed, Yuuki-senpai furrowed his brow with a bitter expression. He looked like the handsome protagonist of some Western game grimacing. Is the scenery in front of me actually real? He looks like he’d cheer up if I just handed him a shotgun.
Ignoring Yuuki-senpai, Ishiguro-senpai filled me in with an exasperated look.
"—The Executive Committee President, Hasegawa Tomoka, harbors romantic feelings for Hanawa Renji of the Student Council."
"Ngh...?"
Wait, things suddenly turned bittersweet... huh? What was all that complicated talk before this? You're bringing that up at the very end...? I feel like that’s the most trivial part of the whole story. Wait, are you serious...? Man, talk about a sense of emptiness...
In contrast to his cold demeanor from before, Yuuki-senpai's expression softened as he looked at me.
"I understand the feeling. But this is another headache... Apparently, because she didn't want to look incompetent in front of Renji, Hasegawa had been giving the Student Council false reports about the committee’s progress. I hear she’s been desperate to make the numbers match up at some point."
"Good luck with that."
"Wait. Listen."
When I tried to wash my hands of the situation immediately, I was stopped with genuine seriousness. Well, I didn't actually intend to run away. If I hadn't received the bento, things might have been different. I’ll be in your debt next time too!
"When it comes to romance, women must be handled with extreme delicacy. It would be troublesome if she did something unpredictable. You understand this much, right?"
"..............................?"
"............Sajou’s younger brother. This is a dimension that only some men can understand. I do, of course, but you likely won't."
............Whuh?
In other words, it's limited to "ikemen." It's one thing to say it yourself, but it's hard to accept when someone else says it to you. Let me tell you, even if you have a scary face, you're on the well-proportioned side, okay? Even if they don't talk to you, there are definitely girls who think you’re attractive, okay? You’re just rubbing salt in my wounds while pretending we’re in this together. It hurts, it hurts so much.
So that was it? From the way Yuuki-senpai talked, there are girls who use outrageous methods to get close to a guy when romance is involved? What? Do they really exist? Isn't that the kind of thing that only happens in shojo manga and stuff?
"In response to that, saying he’ll take responsibility for being loved, Renji—"
"Wait, whoa, wait...? 'Responsibility for being loved'?"
"...? What are you saying? It's only natural, isn't it?"
"……………………………………Eh……………?"
"Sajou’s younger brother, don't think too deeply about it. Just let it slide for now."
Is this... Japanese culture? Is this a Japanese thing? I’m Japanese, right...? Why am I being shocked by Japanese culture? Have I been too influenced by the West? I love hamburgers. I hate pickles, though.
"—And well, there are no problems regarding Renji."
"…………………………………………I see."
No problems. Yes, there are no problems. If Yuuki-senpai says so, then it must be true. It's just that I’ve newly learned that such a concept exists in this world. Yes, this is me climbing one step up the stairs to adulthood. Let’s go take "responsibility for being loved," everyone across the country!
"The problem is Kaede... Hasegawa’s actions this time fall into the category that Kaede loathes the most."
"True."
I deeply agreed with that. She has that delinquent leader vibe, after all. Neglecting work for the sake of her own image is exactly the kind of thing that would make Nee-chan go ballistic. You’d think as a fellow woman she could sympathize with romance, but that’s meaningless to the current Kaede, who stays perfectly composed in front of these handsome guys. She can’t stand it if things don't follow a logical path, even if it's not about herself.
Hey, Nee-chan. Isn't it inconsistent that you won't let me leave my bell peppers? I haven't forgotten my grudge about being forced to go get a flu shot, you know? The needle really hurt, okay?
Farewell, pepper steak.