"Sajocchi. Something happened between you and Aichi, didn't it?"
It was the third day since the mess with the Cultural Festival Executive Committee had come to light. Ashida had already sniffed out the fact that things were awkward between Natsukawa and me. She had pulled me over to the stairs with a tone of total conviction, leaving me with nothing to do but stand there in a daze. I guess to Ashida, the fact that Natsukawa and I weren't speaking despite sitting so close in class felt like a glitch in the Matrix. If anything, Natsukawa had been acting a bit avoidant ever since I'd forced my help on her after school the other day. She had stopped initiating conversation with me entirely. I just wanted to be a clam and hide in my shell.
"……Can you tell?"
"You've had a 'this is awkward' face on for a while now."
Gah, was it really that obvious? When we were in class, I was usually too busy shivering with excitement at the thought of Natsukawa staring at the back of my head. I had even been spending more time on my morning hair routine than anything else. I was out there using two hand mirrors just to make sure the back was perfect.
"I mean, Aichi is being way too blatant about it, too."
"Oh."
Was she…? Maybe because I was one of the people involved, I couldn't tell at all. I honestly thought I was the only one whose face was doing all the talking. Since I sat in front of her, the only way I could tell what was happening behind me was by sound. I had actually gotten so good at it that I could distinguish whether she was using a mechanical pencil or a ballpoint pen. At this rate, I’d be able to guess the brand of the stationery.
"……It’s like we’ve both become hyper-aware of the whole 'rejecter and rejected' thing again. I mean, it’s how things should’ve been from the start……… but maybe the way we were acting until now was what was actually weird."
Even after I had been rejected, instead of things getting awkward, I had actually ended up interacting with Natsukawa more than ever. I used to ask myself why that was, but it probably only happened because Natsukawa herself wasn't conscious of those boundaries. Her focus had always been on her family and home life, after all.
Love, huh…… Not long ago, I was so sure, like, 'This is definitely love!'…… but now everything felt so complicated. I couldn't really help interacting with the person who shot me down, but since I was still in love with her, I guess I was just a guy who couldn't let go. Still, even with how obviously out of her league I am, the fact that Natsukawa was even aware of me made me feel like all that effort was worth something.
"──I’m going to become a regular employee."
"What are you even talking about?"
If it had been raining, I would’ve delivered that line with way more gravitas.
You know, like a goal? Like the real world is what’s waiting for us once youth is over? It feels like finding a new version of yourself starts with becoming a functioning member of society, right?
……Actually, come to think of it, I’ve been working my tail off lately. I didn't feel like I was finding a new self; I felt like I was already stuck in the middle of a grind. I wanted to be a regular employee, but I definitely didn't want to deal with the Student Council or the Disciplinary Committee. Why? Because of the salary, man. Show me the money.
"I guess…… Sajocchi is already doing okay, then."
No, I wasn't okay at all. My wounds had been oozing more than ever lately. It hurt like crazy. In fact, I was bracing myself to throw my battered body into the fray at least three or four more times. Don't underestimate a regular employee, you punk. Wait, I wasn't even a regular employee yet.
"……It’s tough, isn’t it?"
"Huh? What is?"
"Nothing. It’s just clear that Sajocchi’s turn is over."
"Wait, what?"
Hold on, where did my turn go? I didn't even remember drawing a card. My field was wide open and I hadn't set any defenses. I was totally vulnerable to an attack from any direction; wasn't that a disaster?
"Let’s go back."
"Ah, yeah."
She grabbed my sleeve and led me back to the classroom. What was this, some kind of police escort? My freedom of movement had been seriously compromised lately. Between the Student Council, the Disciplinary Committee, and my Nee-chan, I was being hauled around way too much. Was everyone just playing catch with me? I could walk on my own, you know. I’m a bipedal primate!
◆
The hardest part was always going back to my seat. Natsukawa sat in the very back by the window on the courtyard side, and I was right in front of her. If I walked from the front, we’d have to lock eyes, and if I came from the back, I’d have to "attack" from the side. What did I even mean by "attack"…… it was my own seat.
"…………Hey…… Is that the Classical Japanese homework?"
"………Y-Yeah, it is."
When I spoke to her out of necessity, Natsukawa jumped a little and gave a wary reply. Her tone was so cold it basically said, "What about it?" Hey, don't be so icy. You’re going to give me a complex. Or worse, what if I awakened to a new world of kinks?
I’d messed up by talking to her while we were both at our seats. In short, neither of us had an exit. Haha, what were we going to do with all this awkwardness? Should we just start singing? I could go for a strategy where I dragged everyone around us into the awkwardness too. Cut the flesh to break the bone. If we were going down, let’s go down in style!
"──Um, hey."
"!"
Just as I was about to lose it, Natsukawa actually spoke to me. Just two little words. The vibrations of her voice soaked all the way into my brain. My eyes instinctively drifted toward her lips; I was definitely a terminal case. Honestly, if it was Natsukawa, I was down for whatever.
"Um…… about the Cultural Festival, I wonder what’s going to happen………"
"……"
The flighty mood evaporated instantly. She spoke while keeping her eyes glued to her desk—was it because she was awkward, or was she genuinely worried? As a first-year, she was doing her part, but she could feel the lack of progress personally. She was in an incredibly unfair position where she couldn't change anything no matter how hard she tried, yet she was the one her classmates would blame.
If I’d known it was going to be this much of a headache, I would’ve done everything to stop Natsukawa from joining the Cultural Festival Executive Committee. There was no way I’d be happy seeing my idol in pain.
"My Nee-chan…… the Student Council is on it."
"……I see."
Just because she was "my sister" didn't mean she had to be perfect all the time, and it didn't mean she couldn't act like a kid during a big yearly event. I knew that better than anyone from watching her. She was the demon of contrast, after all.
Even so, Natsukawa had always been a Goddess to me. I saw her as a flawless, perfect being, and it was her dignified attitude that helped me through my first part-time job. Because my head was once filled with nothing but her, I used to try to find her weaknesses or what she was bad at. Back then, I couldn't find a single thing…… so why was I only seeing them now?
──Being this close made me just instinctively want to protect her.
"You can call me if you need anything."
"Eh……?"
"Even when class prep starts, lunch breaks are separate, and after school won't be as crazy for the rest of us as it is for the committee. I might have stuff to do for the Student Council, but I can prioritize whichever one I want. So for now, put everything else aside and just work me to the bone. I’m used to it."
"What do you mean, 'used to it'……?"
She must have remembered my stories about my Nee-chan; Natsukawa let out a small, muffled laugh as if she knew it was wrong to find it funny. Seriously…… she had the weirdest sense of humor. If she laughed at that, I was going to have to go get bullied by my Nee-chan on purpose just to get more material.
I didn't care about Sasaki. There was no need for her to hold back her laughter. Just seeing that smile—the kind that melts your brain and makes you feel like your life expectancy just shot up—was something I couldn't help but want to see.
In moments like this, I had to laugh at how simple I was.
◆
"Wataru, do you have a second?"
"Hyo-eh!"
It was the Student Council President, Yuuki-senior. He had a totally different aura here than he did in the Student Council Room. Since the average looks in this classroom were what they were, his handsomeness was blinding. Wait, had this guy always been this tall? I really wished he wouldn't stand right next to me.
It was lunch, and I was about to go buy some food when he cornered me. Based on things my Nee-chan and the man himself had said, there were rumors he used to be a total playboy. Seeing him leaning against the classroom door, I could totally believe it. What was this? Was he a fashion model? If I were a stylist, I’d be running over to wrap an off-white scarf around him.
"W-What’s up?"
"It’s about the matter from the other day. It’s an urgent situation, so I roped in my family to investigate."
I heard some high-pitched fangirl squeals from the back of the room when he said "roped in." I wanted to shout that he didn't mean it in that way, but I wasn't a hundred percent sure. ……It’s not that, right? He didn't mean he "embraced" them in some weird way, right?
"I wanted to share what I found—or rather, there are very few people I can talk to without filtering myself. I thought I should tell you first, since you’re close to Kaede."
"I’ve got a really bad feeling about this……"
"Come with me."
I tried to signal that I really didn't want to be involved anymore, but he didn't take the hint. He did say it was urgent, so it might be a legitimate problem. I managed to switch my brain into serious mode and followed behind Yuuki-senior.
……Wait, hold on. Why was it that we were wearing the same uniform, yet his waist looked so cinched? Normally, these pants were pretty baggy, right? Why did everything about him look so stylish? Was he even stylish when he was in the bathroom?
Seriously, what was his deal?