The final school departure time arrived, and I found myself the target of bewildered gazes, not just from Natsukawa, but from the students at the front of the classroom as well. It was only natural—there was no way the work would ever be finished when every single word had to be written by hand. To prevent leaks to the outside, taking the documents home was strictly prohibited; the unfinished work was supposedly collected by category and redistributed the following day.
"...Is it always like this?"
"Eh...?"
"Sasaki's situation. And those second-year seniors."
"Well..."
When I asked Natsukawa after we stepped out into the hallway, she shook her head, looking like she found the question difficult to answer. I reflexively turned my whole body toward her at the unexpected response. Observing her expression, I could tell she was struggling to find the right words.
"Wait, it’s not?"
"That senior is a manager in the same Soccer Club as Sasaki-kun... In the beginning, she was actually really helpful and taught me a lot through him."
"...Oh?"
On the surface, they sounded like decent upperclassmen. However, Natsukawa was kind to a fault, so there was a chance she was just assuming the best of them. It was also possible that they were actually after the handsome Sasaki and didn't give a damn about Natsukawa. That might have been a cynical way of looking at it, though.
"I think they’re probably just fed up with the Cultural Festival Executive Committee. They've been venting their frustrations for a while now..."
"..."
I couldn't bring myself to ask what specifically they were frustrated about. When I had first barged into that classroom earlier, I had seen the absurdity for myself: the clearly excessive workload and the staggeringly inefficient way they handled it. If I were forced to work like that day in and day out, I might have grumbled about how I wasn't a child anymore, too. Well, I was a middle schooler until recently. Even so, their methods were crude.
"...Is Sasaki in the same boat?"
"Th-That’s not it! He just can't defy them... Inoue-senpai is the girlfriend of the Soccer Club captain... and she told Sasaki-kun, 'Let's just get out of a place like this and go to club practice'..."
"Tch..."
That was close. I almost clicked my tongue in annoyance, but I tilted my head up slightly and swallowed the urge.
I got it. I could understand. I understood why those second-year seniors viewed the Cultural Festival Executive Committee with suspicion, and why Sasaki was suffering, caught between his feelings for Natsukawa and the pressure from his upperclassmen. Why did I have to understand? My part-time job experience was being put to use in all the wrong ways... I might have been happier if I were still ignorant of that side of the world.
I shifted my weight to distract myself.
Part of me couldn't accept this. But I didn't know the true nature of that feeling. Was it because I was being used as an errand boy for the Student Council, or because I had seen the reality of the Cultural Festival Executive Committee? Normally, I’d think that was it, but I felt a strange sense of dissonance. It was something else. Something more.
"W-Wait a second...!"
Someone grabbed my sleeve. I had forgotten that I’d been walking faster to hide the displeasure on my face. It seemed I had almost left Natsukawa behind. I was surprised at myself for such an impossible slip-up. For me to actually forget about Natsukawa...
"Wait—ah..."
When I turned around, Natsukawa's face was closer than I expected. She was so incredibly cute that I was momentarily captivated. It was such a frequent occurrence by now that I didn't freeze in shock. I just thought, Ah, she’s cute. My self-awareness of "I love this girl" and my resignation of "it's no use getting my hopes up" worked together to create that feeling. To me, she was a superb view. But conversely, she was just part of the scenery.
—Ah.
I just didn't understand the point of distorting this superb view.
"—I, I have shopping to do, so...!"
Natsukawa pulled away abruptly and hurried off. It felt like watching a snow-covered landscape illuminated by the setting sun receding into the distance as I zipped past on a Shinkansen. It left me with a profound sense of lingering regret. For some reason, I felt like she had become something other than just an idol-like figure I supported.
If this was love... the urge to see her and the loneliness of being apart would normally attack me. I had experienced that many times since my second year of middle school. But what I felt now was a different kind of loneliness—a sense of desolation. It was like that feeling as a child when you were heading home from an amusement park. Was Natsukawa USJ or something?
Maybe this wasn't love anymore. Even so, my arrogance in wanting to keep her close to me, even if only a little, hadn't changed at all.
I felt a twinge of self-loathing.
◆
"Where's Nee-chan?"
"Who knows? Isn't she in her room?"
After I finished my bath, Nee-chan, who would usually be occupying the living room sofa and loafing around, was nowhere to be seen. I sat there happily fiddling with my smartphone while relaxing, but for some reason, I felt restless. As I thought, the best way to spend the post-bath hours was in my own room with an iced cafe au lait and a game.
I headed upstairs, listening to the sound of ice clinking against the glass. Maybe Nee-chan was exhausted, because not a single sound came from the second floor. Usually, I’d hear her voice chatting away with some gal friend. When she was talking happily, you couldn't miss it. Sometimes I still found it hard to believe that a sister like her was the Vice President of the Student Council. Moreover, I felt bad for her, having to deal with such a royal pain in the neck right in the middle of her exam year. I really couldn't imagine wanting to join the Student Council myself.
But she was her, and I was me. That was how we had kept our distance until now. If I tried to show her some unnecessary consideration or appreciation, "Gross" would be the best response I could hope for. In this case, the best choice for me was to do what I always did: completely ignore her circumstances and relax in my room.
...Wait? Did I leave my light on?
"Welcome home."
"Nuagh... Ow!!?"
Ugh, ow, ow, ow, ow!!
I slammed my elbow into the doorknob with all my might. My stubborn determination to protect the glass in my hand at all costs had backfired. I writhed in agony, tears welling up in my eyes right then and there. It hurt so much that I reflexively glared at Nee-chan, who had startled me.
"That’s terrifying!! Why are you just sitting normally on my bed!? You freaked me out!"
"Be quiet, why are you so jumpy?"
This was supposed to be my room, and I was the only one who should be here. It was only natural to be seriously freaked out when the light was on for some reason and someone was sitting motionless right in the middle of my bed. I seriously didn't notice her for a second. Don't "welcome home" me; I was about to drop dead and go home to the afterlife.
"Eh? Eh? Seriously, what do you want? Did you get the wrong room?"
"As if."
This woman... why was she acting so high and mighty while occupying my bed? Usually, you just sit on the edge in these situations, don't you? She was seriously sitting there like it was a floor cushion.
"Was it about the Cultural Festival... and—"
"Right, about the Cultural Festival Executive Committee."
"..."
If that was the case, I could understand why she came to my room. No, I still didn't accept her barging in and occupying my bed. Why did she have more of a "master of the room" vibe than I did? Co-Could it be... this actually wasn't my room to begin with...?
"Fine. Did you find something out?"
"...Huh? You're actually going to listen?"
"I mean, it's not like I'm eager or anything."
I set the glass on the side table and sat down on the bed. Now that I thought about it, this comfortable space I’d created was amazing. It was the pinnacle of privacy. I must have felt a lot of stress from the outside world. Paradoxically, that "outside" might actually be inside this house.
Regarding the problem with the Cultural Festival Executive Committee, I had a strong "let it be" attitude. But for me, there was a different issue. I couldn't afford to let the committee collapse.
"So—whoa."
Just as I was about to ask if she’d found something out, my vision swayed. I had no idea what happened, but I found myself thinking about how I definitely would have spilled my drink if I’d still been holding the glass.
"—...Huh?"
...Huh?
I had been sitting on the bed just a moment ago. If my vision suddenly swayed like that, well, I guess I’d been pushed down onto the mattress. Since I realized that, I wasn't all that surprised.
If only Nee-chan’s face wasn't looking down at me from directly above.
"............Um, what? Huh? Eh? What’s going on?"
What's happened?!
Inside my head, some lady who looked like a foreign language instructor was striking an "Oh my god!" pose in utter shock. Who even was she? I'd never seen her before. Was she my second personality? Or perhaps a memory from a past life? I was so panicked that I'd given birth to something bizarre.
"...Tch...!"
The culprit who had grabbed my shoulders and pushed me back was Nee-chan. As a result, she was looking down at me while my head rested on her lap, making an incredible face. Should I point that out? She looked like she was desperately enduring intense embarrassment. What was I supposed to do while being "endured" like this?
"............What's gotten into you?"
"S-Shut up."
It was so impossible that my shock went past the peak, cycled around once or twice, and I actually became calm instead. Perhaps Nee-chan had broken through some sort of barrier herself, because she had a defiant look on her face, like a delinquent who had just taken a punch in a fight and was wiping sweat from their chin while saying, "Nice one, let's go...!" Just make sure you don't drip that sweat on me. Seriously, what was this person fighting against?
Hey! C'mon!!
Oh, it was you again.
Are you OK?