"Sorry! If you still have time, could you come help us out?"
We had just returned from the gymnasium and were taking a breather in the classroom when the upperclassmen began packing up to leave. Sasaki-kun checked with them just in case, but it seemed their work for the day was done. Following their lead, I started tidying the materials I had spread across my desk when a senior from the Cultural Festival Executive Committee popped in from the neighboring room with a request.
"Eh? Is there still more to do?"
"Quite a few volunteers happened to get in touch today... and as a rule, we have to summarize the details on the same day."
"Hmm... all right, I get it."
Perhaps because his schedule allowed for it, Sasaki-kun readily prioritized the committee’s request. I heard later that the soccer club’s summer matches were already over, so things had finally settled down for him. Given the timing, I figured I shouldn't pry too much into that...
With a new reason to stay at school, a certain desire began to swell within my chest. The upperclassman told us to come over once we were finished cleaning up, and Sasaki-kun, traveling light, followed him out. Once I confirmed they had left the room, I walked past the Cultural Festival Executive Committee’s room and headed toward the classroom further down the hall.
The Disciplinary Committee.
Some time had passed since we returned from the gymnasium. If they were also packing up, Wataru might be among them. If he was, I wanted to at least exchange a few words.
"...I wonder if I can talk to him."
Until recently, the very thought would have been unthinkable. He was the boy who had relentlessly pursued me, never taking no for an answer regardless of how many times I rejected him. Since entering high school, he had only become more annoying, and I truly believed I would never feel any interest in him again. But why did I feel this way now? Even though he was right there, the fact that I couldn't even manage to speak to him felt agonizingly unsatisfying. Why was I so unsettled?
I reached the Disciplinary Committee’s base of operations. Perhaps because the classroom was so well-used, a distinct, administrative scent drifted from it, more so than in other rooms. I could hear a buzz of voices from inside. I didn't know why Wataru was participating as if he were a member himself, but I decided to take a peek.
The door was open.
".........Ah............"
I peered inside stealthily. While there was some light chatter, the committee members were moving through the room with documents in hand. Some seniors were talking seriously, while others discussed something seemingly complex. Although the space was cluttered and filled with overlapping voices, everyone seemed perfectly in sync with their tasks. To the people here, this was likely just their everyday routine.
Further back, among a group of people with laptops open, I saw Wataru.
He took a document from an upperclassman I didn't recognize and began typing its contents into the computer. His serious profile, the way he rested his chin on his hand—from this angle, every gesture was something I had never seen before. He looked like a complete stranger. Wataru, you can make a face like that...
".........He looks busy."
It was just like earlier at the gymnasium; it didn't feel like a situation where I could just call out to him. Wataru was clearly there to do his "work." Perhaps because I’d always had a somewhat flippant impression of him, I found myself momentarily captivated by the sight of him being so professional.
"..."
Now isn't the time... With that thought, I turned back toward the Cultural Festival Executive Committee’s meeting room. Wataru had noticed me earlier. Maybe he would come to see me once he was finished. If that happened, what should I talk about? I could tell him that Airi remembered the other day and wanted to see him. Or the funny story I heard from Kei. Or maybe just ask what he had been doing since summer vacation started—
"—kawa-san. Natsukawa-san?"
"Eh?"
I snapped out of it when someone tapped my shoulder. It was a second-year girl. She must have been calling my name for a while, as she was looking at me with a worried expression.
"We're done for today. Were you that focused?"
"Ah..."
Realizing I had been staring blankly, I hurriedly looked down at the paperwork in front of me. I couldn't quite remember what I had been doing until now. However, I saw a stack of documents I had filled out... it seemed my hands had kept moving unconsciously. That was strange... I felt like I had only just started a moment ago.
Looking around, everyone was finishing up for the day and preparing to head home. Aside from me, no one else had documents spread across their desk. Sasaki-kun was standing nearby, looking at me with the same concerned expression as the senior.
"It looked like you were in the zone, so I didn't want to interrupt..."
"Ah, um... I see."
Feeling strangely embarrassed, I worked quickly to tidy up the documents. Since I couldn't take them home, I stacked them in order so it would be easy to resume next time and handed them over. Once the desk was clear, I realized I was far more tired than I had thought.
"I've already confirmed everything that needed to be done today. Thanks for the help. Good work."
"Yes! Good work to you too, senpai."
After watching the upperclassman walk away, I began packing my things like everyone else. Looking at the clock, I realized nearly an hour and a half had passed since I started. I was shocked by my own concentration. No, maybe "concentration" wasn't the right word.
"What are you doing after this, Natsukawa?"
"Eh? I'm......... ah."
"Um... actually, I got a message from a senior in the soccer club saying 'Come over now.' Like I said earlier, if you'd like to come watch—hm? A phone call?"
I was about to say I was going home, but then I remembered what had been on my mind. After this committee work, I had intended to do something; that was why I had been so impatient for time to pass. What was it? How could I clear this lingering restlessness in my chest? I tried to pull the memory to the surface.
"Oh, hey, Yuki. What's up—"
"! ? !"
"Whoa!? Hey, calm down. Eh? Who was I talking to? No, wait a second. In the first place, you—"
I stepped out into the hallway with Sasaki-kun, who was still on his call. Perhaps because the late afternoon sun was slanting directly through the windows, the air felt thick and humid, clinging to my skin. In contrast, the shadows cast by the window frames along the corridor were strikingly beautiful. Just then, a sign above a classroom caught my eye.
"Disciplinary Committee."
"! I'm sorry, Sasaki-kun!"
In that instant, I remembered exactly what I had been waiting for. As the realization hit me, I shifted gears and found myself walking with a quickened pace before I even knew it.
"Ah!? Hey, Natsukawa—ah, no, Yuki, about Natsukawa—"
I peered through the half-open door of the Disciplinary Committee room. Three or four seniors were just about to leave. I scanned the room, but Wataru was nowhere to be seen. As the reality sank in, I felt my heart begin to hammer against my ribs.
Did he... already leave?
"Then it can't be helped, I'll give up." Why couldn't I just tell myself that? I didn't understand it myself. I should have just gone home normally, back to my routine with Airi. I could go shopping with my mother and talk about what to have for dinner... just like that, weaving together happy, ordinary days—
"...Ugh..."
What does it even mean to be a high school girl?
Even if I was happy, I felt a sudden, sharp aversion to the idea of my days continuing like this without any change. The high school life I had imagined was supposed to be much more lively.
It was embarrassing to say it out loud. I was afraid of what people might think. If that was the case, I should have just surrendered to the routine and waited for time to pass with my family. But before that passive happiness could take over, a thought that felt far too extravagant swelled within me.
I'm lonely.
I hurried past the stairs and out onto the open-air walkway leading to the other building. From there, I could see the central courtyard and the path leading from the school entrance to the gate. In the courtyard, middle schoolers who had finished their club visits were gathered in circles, chatting familiarly with current students. It was the perfect time for a shift change; the school entrance itself looked deserted.
"—Ah...!"
No, someone was there.
The sound of something being tossed onto the wooden slats reached my ears. Then came the familiar clatter of a metal shoe box lid closing. The boy who emerged from the school entrance tapped the heels of his loafers against the ground, slung his sub-bag over his shoulder, and walked out slowly. His face was obscured by the long shadows of the afternoon sun.
But that glimpse was more than enough to make me run.
I turned back into the building and bolted for the stairs. Several classrooms I passed were already dark and locked. The area around the Disciplinary Committee was now completely silent.
"......Haa...... haa............"
How long had it been since I last dashed down the stairs like this? My indoor shoes squeaked rhythmically, the sound echoing through the halls. While observing my own actions with a strange sense of detachment, I let my body move on impulse.
The school entrance was empty. I didn't really expect him to still be there. I forced myself to stop before bursting outside in my indoor shoes and hurriedly swapped them for my loafers.
When I finally stepped outside, the landscape before me was empty. Not much time had passed. Even if the person I saw had already left the grounds, he had to be nearby.
"......Haa...... haa......!"
My breath was shallow. I was confident in my athleticism, but my racing heart was outstripping my physical stamina. I scanned the schoolyard—the school store to the left, the cafeteria to the right—searching for that shadow near the school gate.
As I hurried forward, glancing left and right, I felt a gaze from the central courtyard beyond the piloti.
"..."
The rhythm of my heartbeat shifted. The speed didn't change, but my breathing suddenly began to steady. Though my heart was still racing, I felt myself regaining a sense of calm.
"..."
Why couldn't I find the words? It had been a while since we actually spoke, and we had only just seen each other's faces briefly today. My mind was clear, yet I couldn't control my legs as they carried me forward, still not knowing what to say. With every step closer, an indescribable emotion welled up from deep within me.
I had forgotten how to walk properly. Yet, I kept moving. I was probably walking strangely, and I didn't want him to see me like that. But if I didn't keep going, I wouldn't reach that surprised face.
Time seemed to stretch.
Wataru was frozen in an awkward half-standing position, staring at me. After agonizing over what to say, I simply blurted out the first thing that came to mind.
"—What are you even doing?"
"......S-Stretching my back?"
The ridiculous answer he gave blew away every ounce of my tension.