I didn’t understand.
I didn’t understand him, and I didn’t understand myself. Why did I have to feel so restless? It was all his fault.
We’d had a seat change. I’d moved one row back, and he’d moved to the very front seat by the hallway. I’d been happy about it at first—with that noisy guy gone, things would finally be quiet. I even thought it served him right, since he was now in a spot where the teachers could easily call on him.
But why? Why did I feel so uncomfortable? I was just being normal, not being bothered by anyone. I talked to people when I felt like it, and I stayed by myself when I didn't. Even though I was doing exactly as I pleased, why did it feel like this?
Kei sat right behind him. From the very first day after the change, she’d been proactive about engaging with Wataru. Seeing him look annoyed by her attention made me think that was just how he acted toward everyone besides me. But that only lasted for a little while.
If you have an acquaintance nearby, it’s only natural to talk to them. Even for someone like him, it was inevitable that he’d eventually start speaking normally with Kei. Lately, I saw them getting along quite often.
There was no one like that around me.
Perhaps that was why Kei came to see me whenever she had a spare moment. We talked often during breaks, and those times were always fun. Aside from her, a few other girls I’d only spoken to occasionally before had started coming over to chat.
In contrast, Wataru—that guy—stopped coming to me of his own accord.
One morning, while I was headed to school, I saw him walking ahead of me. I’d called out to him before I even realized what I was doing, which made me panic, but he just kept walking briskly as if he hadn't heard a thing. I lost my temper and grabbed the back of his collar to force him to turn around, only for his face to lunge right toward mine. I mean, anyone would have been startled, right? It couldn’t be helped that I ended up shoving my bag into him with a bit too much force...
"That’s a violent expression of affection..."
"I-It’s nothing like that!"
I remember thinking it had been a while since we’d actually talked. His idiotic-sounding remarks felt nostalgic, and sharp retorts slipped out of my throat with ease. Our back-and-forth felt strangely warm; even as I said terrible things to him, I felt my lips wanting to curl into a smile.
And yet, in that moment, he turned his back on me as if to end the conversation right then and there.
Wait.
If only I could have said that normally. But because it was Wataru, I’d been forceful when I tried to stop him. That was the first time I’d ever seen him look truly irritated. He had never looked at me like that before, and I found myself suddenly frightened of him. My voice had come out as nothing more than a tiny squeak.
We walked to school together after that, but we hardly spoke a word. I felt out of sorts for the rest of the day.
Then, some time later, I encountered those suspicious-looking upperclassmen on the way to school. For some reason, they were standing on opposite sides of the road, and I was too scared to pass through until I ran into him and his older sister. She was a cool, beautiful woman—so unlike him. I’d doubted they were actually blood-related at first, but seeing his unrestrained attitude toward her made it clear they were siblings. I wouldn’t want things to be that cutthroat, but I did find myself wishing I could have such an open relationship with my younger sister, Airi.
It had been an unusual situation, so we walked to school together as a matter of course, but it had been several days since I’d last spoken to him. He seemed to have forgotten our previous encounter; he was just the same old stupid Wataru.
Still, it irritated me how he sometimes treated me like some cold, heartless woman. Why would he even think of leaving me behind halfway when we’d walked to school together? Besides, I wasn't the kind of girl who would fall for someone just because they had a handsome face... P-probably.
I was still fuming at him for the way he’d looked at me with such a surprised expression when we reached the classroom. Kei came running out to meet us, sounding frantic. Apparently, the third-year Disciplinary Committee President, Shinomiya-senpai, was angry about something... W-wait, Wataru, what did you do this time?
As it turned out, Wataru had given Shinomiya-senpai a fake name. "Yamazaki"... That was Yamazaki-kun’s surname. Why on earth would he use someone else's name like that?
Shinomiya-senpai was truly cool—the kind of person every girl admired. Even Kei was looking at her with stars in her eyes. Standing beside her was a second-year, Inatomi-senpai. It might have been odd for me, a first-year, to say this, but she was incredibly cute. I just wanted to hug her and pet her head.
Right in front of me, Wataru made an appointment to meet the upperclassmen at lunch. Once fourth period ended, he left the classroom looking like he’d rather be doing anything else. Everyone watched him go with wry smiles... Y-yeah, it definitely didn't seem like anything romantic. Setting aside the fact that he was going to get scolded for using a fake name, I wondered why the seniors had been looking for him in the first place.
It felt like it had been a while since Wataru had been the talk of the class. Shirai-san, who was sitting nearby, was chatting happily with her friends about how they’d thought he had finally settled down lately, but apparently, they were wrong. No matter what he did, people just ended up exasperated with him.
I had a bad feeling about where the conversation was going, and sure enough, while they were all excited, they pulled me into it.
"Um... Natsukawa-san. You haven't really talked to Sajou-kun lately, have you? Did something happen?"
"Eh..."
My heart skipped a beat. For a moment, I thought it was a delicate question like the one Kei had asked Aizawa-san, but I didn't even need to think about it to know we weren't dating. The fact that he had feelings for me was common knowledge. I decided not to overthink it; Shirai-san was surely just asking casually.
"N-nothing in particular. He seems busy lately, and since our seats moved apart, this is just how things are, isn't it?"
"Oh... I see. That’s a relief. So you didn't have a fight or anything?"
Ugh, it was blinding. I could tell that Shirai-san and her friends were genuinely worried about us. Why did they have to take it so personally? It wasn't as if we were on good terms to begin with.
"T-that’s right! Besides, I’m busy taking care of my little sister and everything else."
"Wow... Natsukawa-san, you have a sister? How old is she? Do you have any other siblings?"
"Ugh..."
The conversation suddenly picked up speed, and Shirai-san and the others started bombarding me with questions. I-I wasn't used to this! What was I supposed to do?
In a panic, I pulled out my phone, opened my treasured folder of Airi photos, and handed the whole thing over to them. Their eyes lit up the moment they saw her. They started gushing about how cute she was, practically squirming where they stood. W-wait, don't make so much noise! There are boys around!
That continued until Kei finally came over to help me out.
Ever since I’d shared those photos of Airi, I’d started talking more with the people around me. Shirai-san had a younger brother, and she smiled wryly as she told me about how he was always playing pranks on her. When I told her, "You’re so kind, Shirai-san, that if you were my older sister, I might play pranks on you too, since I feel like you’d forgive anything," she gave me a bashful smile. What was with this girl? She was so cute.
Suddenly, I remembered Wataru’s older sister. I’d thought she was cool, but to be honest, I didn't think she seemed particularly "kind"... Yeah, I definitely wouldn't be able to play pranks on her.
Sasaki-kun from the soccer club apparently had a younger sister, too. Even though she was a middle schooler now, she still crawled into his bed sometimes, and he mentioned how he wondered if her rebellious phase would ever come. Personally, I thought it was better if it didn't come at all. Sasaki-kun was handsome, so I could understand why his sister would be attached to him. With a brother like that, I might have actually wanted one myself.
As for Wataru, though? Not a chance.