I was aiming for the ordinary... or at least, that was the plan.
"Alright, we're changing seats."
It was a sudden tragedy. My current seat was in the dead center of the classroom, right to the side of Natsukawa. Every day, I’d been over the moon, savoring the fragrance that drifted from her (I'm a pervert, I know). But if I ended up in some far-off corner of the room, I wouldn't be able to appreciate that anymore. On the other hand, I wouldn't be called on by the teacher, and I wouldn't be carelessly teased and turned into the class laughingstock. Wait, wouldn't that actually be a good thing?
"Okay! Next is—ah, Sajou-kun..."
"Eh? Yes..."
When I went up to draw a lot for the numbers assigned to each seat, Ms. Ohtsuki’s bright expression took a total nosedive the moment she saw my face.
Huh? What was with that look of disappointment? Did I do something weird to the teacher? Well, I did. Tardiness, sleeping in class, playing around during lessons... I guess it was no wonder she disliked me.
"Um, Ms. Ohtsuki."
"W-What is it?"
"I'm going to behave properly from now on, okay? Probably."
"Why 'probably'...? Just behave properly. Normally."
If I had a total of 100 points of focus to distribute, I’d been dumping about 98 of them into Natsukawa. Now that I’ve reallocated my stats into a more balanced build, I shouldn't have any more trouble waking up in the morning from the bittersweet ache of wanting to see her. Actually, I’ve always slept like a log at night anyway.
I looked up at the blackboard. Since the drawing had been ladies-first, the names of all the girls were already scattered across a bird’s-eye diagram of the desk layout. Scanning through the names starting from the far right, I eventually found Natsukawa's name.
I see, the second seat from the back in the center row... wait, she only moved back one seat. There wasn't much novelty in that; she probably didn't even feel like her seat had changed at all...
Fine, good grief...! I guess I’ll just have to sit next to her again. Since there’s no novelty anyway, I’ll just keep acting as the foil for the idol known as Natsukawa Aika!
"Number one. Okay, the very front by the hallway."
Of course.
◆
I looked ahead. A wall. I looked to the right. A wall. No scent.
It couldn't have been any more "fresh." In the three months since enrollment, my immediate surroundings were suddenly filled with wooden walls and students I’d never once spoken to. A literary girl who looked like she’d been plagued by constant misfortune sat to my left, but an invisible wall of wariness stood tall, screaming "don't talk to me." She already seemed immersed in her book; perhaps just the sight of me, who was always making a scene over Natsukawa, was bothersome to her. I could sense a blatant feeling of aversion.
Well, I didn't really mind. If anything, being surrounded by people I’d never spoken to and staying quiet might be a better way to project my original, true self.
I rested my chin on my hand and listlessly messed with my phone. By doing this, even if I stayed silent, everyone would be convinced: "Ah, this guy just doesn't have any friends sitting near him."
While I was secretly smirking and enjoying this "true me," two sudden impacts assaulted my backside. What was that explosive force?! Did I just spontaneously generate a bowel movement?!
"Yahoo, Sajocchi!"
"And who might you be?"
The girl sitting behind me was the one who had rudely kicked my rear through the chair. This Female Student A... what was I going to do with her?
"Hey, how mean! We’re comrades who fought over Aichi together!"
"Hmph, nobody 'won' anything. It’s impossible for Natsukawa to ever fall into anyone’s hands!"
"What’s with that confidence...? Well, don't mind the seat change."
"Same to you, Ashida."
I’ll admit it... Ashida was undoubtedly Natsukawa's closest friend. That was something even Natsukawa herself likely acknowledged, and I was sure they shared secrets that a guy like me would never be told. Good grief, how scandalous!
"So? Are you lonely? Are you feeling lonely?"
She was really enjoying teasing me. Ashida must have found my presence bothersome when she was trying to hang out with Natsukawa. After all, Natsukawa was always busy dealing with me... wait. Why can I only recall Natsukawa shouting insults at me?
However! I wasn't lonely at all! Even if I was separated from the idol Natsukawa, a fan of my caliber could still find flavor in watching her from afar! Hehehe, she’s beautiful today, too...!
"I'm not lonely. You're here, after all."
The fervor of devotion to an idol differs for every fan. That’s why it’s not something to be shared with others. It's only by letting your own passion boil and throwing it into your support that it shows its true value... and as a true gentleman, I should hide my real feelings and let the conversation flow!
"Ashida, if you care about Natsukawa, too—huh? What's with the wide eyes?"
"Huh!? —Ah! N-No, I mean, uh...!!"
"Hey, don't shout so loud..."
Before I knew it, Ashida was staring at me like a deer in headlights. It was so sudden that I thought she was making a funny face for a second, but when I spoke to her, she seemed genuinely flustered, so I guess not. She really was a noisy one; she definitely belonged in the volleyball club (total prejudice on my part).
"S-Sajocchi... you mean, instead of Aichi... it’s okay if it’s me...?"
"Huh? No, it's not."
What was she talking about? There was no way anyone could serve as a substitute for Natsukawa—Wait, why are you suddenly raising your fist—Ouch!? Why did you hit my back—Ow ow ow ow! It hurts! What's wrong with this girl!?
◆
Lunchtime. Exhausted from ending up in the front seat and the surprise attack from Ashida, I decided to buy a sweet bun at the shop and eat somewhere other than the classroom. That Ashida... she’d been shooting incredibly sharp glares at my back ever since that happened...
Now, where should I eat? This school had a courtyard, and there were many benches in the front schoolyard as well. It was designed like a small campus modeled after a university. For a day so close to summer, it was quite cool. A bench in the shade with few people around would probably be best.
"...Hmm?"
In the hallway just before the shoe lockers, a small female student wearing an armband was wobbling as she walked. She was holding a large stack of booklets in both hands, looking very precarious.
I looked right, then left. Good, no one's around. I won't be seen as a creep right now.
"...Um, excuse me."
"Hwah!? W-Who are you!?"
"...My deepest apologies."
I never thought I’d be looked at like a suspicious person by the very person I was trying to help. Wow, that actually hurt.
I stopped in my tracks and took one, two steps back to create some distance.
"Awawawa, I'm sorry...! I was just surprised because you spoke to me so suddenly!"
I’d spoken to her from a considerable distance... and from the front, too. Apparently, even that was too sudden for this girl. Was it my face? Is it just my face?
She had a slightly wavy bob, and that red ribbon—which was practically the same size as her head—looked incredible on her. Okay, she was cute. Like a total doll.
"Um... those looked heavy."
"Eh!? Ah, yes!"
"...Shall I carry them for you?"
Apparently, being treated like a suspicious person earlier had traumatized me. I ended up calling out to her timidly from nearly five meters away. I definitely looked like a creep now. What was with this bizarre distance?
"Eh, um... I’d feel bad, and..."
".........I see."
I don't know why, but that felt like the most painful rejection I’ve had lately. Well, this reaction was normal. If a girl was suddenly approached by a guy she didn't know, she'd naturally be wary. No, wait a second. If I were a cute girl and I was suddenly approached, I’d be wary, too—which means, conversely, if she was wary of me, it must mean I’m handsome...!?
Actually, no.
Not a chance.