Detective Sajou.
I climbed the stairs, heading for the second-year classrooms.
I had pressed Ashida for every last detail about Aizawa Rena’s ex-boyfriend. In exchange, I gave her an extremely thorough explanation of my personal ranking of Natsukawa’s top five cutest moments—information only I knew. She had been delighted. As she left, she looked me in the face with a bright smile and said, “Yeah, I was totally wrong. You’re gross,” which I suppose was her idea of being cute. I’ll butcher her for that later.
Anyway, Aizawa Rena’s ex was apparently a second-year senior named Arimura Kazuki. What Ashida had frequently witnessed in the hallway was Aizawa barging into the second-year classroom, only for him to walk her back to the first-year building. From that, it was obvious she had been completely smitten with Arimura-senpai.
I adjusted my Disguise Glasses and wandered down the corridor lined with second-year classrooms. The disguise was a precaution. It would be bad if any upperclassmen recognized me. I wanted to avoid any unnecessary contact.
“…………There he is.”
Arimura Kazuki. I had managed to track him down on social media. He had shorter hair than in his photos and gave off the strong impression that he was athletic. From a distance, he looked like a perfectly normal, reliable senior. What’s with that gymnastics instructor vibe…? He was nothing like me. That’s impossible, Aizawa-san…
I fiddled with my phone as I approached the senior and leaned against the nearby wall. He appeared to be in the middle of an animated romance conversation with several male classmates.
“Gotta be Minase, right? I wanna flip up those straight black bangs and get a look at her forehead.”
I understand. That mysterious allure is real.
Another senior was passionately talking about this Minase-san girl. I didn’t know who he was, but I completely got where he was coming from… There really is something dreamy about a girl who hides her forehead behind her bangs. If you blew on them and she let out a little “Kyaaan!”, it would be over for me.
“I’m into the third-year Sajou-senpai.”
“Pffft…!?”
A bombshell.
There was actually a senior who liked that Female Gorilla…!? No way! She’s the woman who screams at the bathroom scale when it makes her angry and lies about her weight. She’s the one who got in a bad mood and stole my hamburger steak at dinner! Wasn’t she supposed to be losing weight!?
“He said he wants to become her underling and get forcefully taken advantage of because it turns him on.”
So he’s a massive masochist. That tracks. That sister of mine really does suit a pervert. But I refuse to accept it. If my brother-in-law is a huge masochist, I’m cutting all ties. Come to think of it, that’s a seriously messed-up fetish!
Wait, none of that matters right now…! It was Arimura-senpai’s turn. With everyone else exposing their preferences like this, there was no way he could stay quiet.
Unfortunately, the girl the senior chose wasn’t Aizawa Rena. Since she had clearly approached me with some hidden agenda, I already knew she must hold a grudge against someone. But since I originally had no connection to Aizawa, I probably wasn’t the target. The most likely candidate was her ex, Arimura-senpai.
My theory was that Arimura-senpai had fallen for someone else. So he broke things off with Aizawa, and she resented him for it. The occasional “That’s just how guys are” vibe I sometimes sensed from Aizawa was probably caused by that.
Come on, Arimura Kazuki. Spill it. Just who the hell did you fall for?
“What about you, Arimura? How’s it going? I heard you got dumped by your girlfriend recently, right?”
“…………Huh?”
Whoa, hold up. Stop the cameras. Hahaha. Wait, what?
Huh? You got dumped? You were the one who got brutally dumped by Aizawa? My momentum wasn’t just stopped—it was completely shattered.
So does that mean… Aizawa Rena dumped Arimura-senpai because she fell in love at first sight with Sajou Wataru—me? That was the very first possibility I had already ruled out. Because it’s me. The guy with a face score of 55—sorry, I lied, probably around 42.
Then what? Did that mean Arimura-senpai was still—
“I’m into…… the first-year Natsukawa, I guess.”
…………Huh?
◆
“………”
I don’t get it.
No, this is impossible. When I really think about it, I’m just your average, run-of-the-mill high schooler. Usually when someone says that they turn out to be special, but I’m seriously, genuinely normal-spec. There’s no way I could unravel the complicated mess between a guy and a girl just by thinking about it a little.
Maybe I should just go with the flow and keep flirting with Aizawa. Sure, she’s definitely hiding something and doesn’t actually like me at all, but still.
It’s fine, right? She’s cute. I don’t mind being tricked. Letting yourself get fooled is what makes a good man, isn’t it? Right, girls of the world?
“…You just got back and you’re already sitting there making that scary face while deep in thought, Sajocchi?”
“I was contemplating my place in society.”
“Commoners should shut up and study.”
“Yeah, yeah, shut it, Sudra.”
“Alright! Challenge accepted!”
“Knock it off, you two.”
When I glanced to the side, Ashida was hugging Natsukawa from behind while she sat at her desk. It looked like the two of them had been having a little moment. Normally I would have done something to Natsukawa in this kind of situation, so Ashida must have found it suspicious that I had simply sat down in silence.
At a single word from Natsukawa, I obediently sheathed my spear like a loyal dog. Seeing that, Ashida grumbled, “Hah, you really are Sajocchi.” Yeah. That’s my philosophy. Remember it.
“Oh, I get it! You’re still thinking about Aizawa-san from the other day, aren’t you?”
“Huh? Oh, yeah… Well, I guess so.”
“………”
Wait a second. When it came to relationships between guys and girls, wasn’t there an expert right here in this very classroom!? Instead of racking my brain alone, if I just plugged into the Girly Network through Ashida or someone, the answer would probably pop up in five seconds.
“I have a question for you two.”
“Wh-what’s with you all of a sudden…?”
“About Aizawa and Arimur—”
“Saaaaajoou-kuuuun!!”
“Gwah!?”
The moment I tried to ask, a weight pressed down on my back. At the same time, a sweet voice reached my ears. The instant I recognized it as Aizawa’s, I immediately searched for the soft sensation being transmitted through my back. …!? There it is… I found it…!!!
This is… I’m sorry for saying they weren’t that big before, Aizawa. I think they’re a solid C-cup! What I’m trying to say is… I’m in heaven…
“A-Aizawa-san!?”
“Ah! Were you in the middle of talking? Sorry for interrupting~!”
“Nah, it’s fine. It’s just Sajocchi after all.”
Even commoners have the right to not have their conversations interrupted, Ashida-san!! Damn Sudra… You’ve got some nerve defying a commoner! But I’ll forgive you because girls are scary!
“…Aizawa, move. They’re soft.”
“Ew, pervert.”
“Die?”
………This really is heaven.
No, no, hold on. The fact that I got a little happy from being insulted by both Aizawa and Natsukawa must be some kind of mistake. I’m sure it’s just because that Female Gorilla living in the Sajou Family has infected me with a slight masochistic streak. Okay, it’s not slight at all.
“It’s not even lunchtime yet. What’s up?”
“No reason~? I just felt like talking to Sajou-kun.”
“I-is that so…?”
Lately, the frequency with which Aizawa came to see me had been slowly decreasing. Yesterday we had only met at that Azumaya during lunch. So what was her aim in coming to see me at this particular timing…? Not to mention the physical contact that had never happened before. Wait, doesn’t this level of clinginess require favorability to be at least 95%?
“Hey, hey, hey! Tell us why Aizawa-san broke up with her ex!”
“……”
Hey, wait a second? Thanks to you, I can’t even look Aizawa in the face anymore. What are you going to do about this atmosphere? Natsukawa’s jaw is hanging open too, and she’s still ridiculously beautiful. I almost wanted to peer down her throat. Haha, I’m so gross.
Why do girls transmit information so fast…?