“Hehe... Kazunari-san♪”
Sara-san gazed down at me as I lay with my head in her lap, her face adorned with an exquisite smile and a gentle look in her eyes.
Her hand repeatedly stroked my forehead and hair. She looked blissfully happy, occasionally letting out a soft, joyful sound.
“Gosh, those two are something else. Even with us right here...”
“They’ve completely entered a world of their own, haven't they?”
“Haha... I guess you could call it their specialty.”
“The strongest stupid couple, flirting anytime, anywhere, without a care for anyone else.”
“H-Hanako-san!”
“Hehe... but they look so happy, it feels almost wrong to rain on their parade.”
Believe me, I realized what was going on. I was fully aware of the situation and who was around us. I was sure Sara-san knew too, but for her, it was a matter of priorities. And since her top priority was always to spoil me with everything she had...
“Um, Sara-san?”
“Kazunari-san, it’s a ‘no-no’ for babies to talk, you know?”
“Ugh... Babu-babu.”
Seriously, what was I even doing saying “babu-babu”?! This was way too much of an impossible game!
“Hehe... how cute♪”
Sara-san wasn't the least bit fazed by my repulsed acting(?). In fact, she seemed perfectly normal—no, she looked about 30% more joyful than usual. She gently rolled my body over, turning me onto my side to face her.
As always, her movements were so natural that I couldn't offer any resistance.
“...Sara is seriously way too practiced at this.”
“...Issei didn't even try to fight it.”
“...Haha... well, for those two, this is probably just daily life.”
“...Satsukawa-senpai looks so lively.”
“Since you’re a baby right now, Kazunari-san, please don’t hold back. You can spoil yourself with me as much as you like, okay?”
“A-as much as I like...?”
“Kazunari-san?”
“Babu-babu.”
Succumbing to a mysterious pressure I didn't usually feel, I switched back to baby talk(?). Sara-san gave my head a big, satisfied pat-pat.
Well, if it made her happy, I suppose I could say it was my heart’s desire, but was it just my imagination, or did I feel like I was losing something vital...?
“Sara-okaasan, can Mio give the baby a pat-pat too?”
“Of course. Give him a nice, gentle ‘there, there,’ okay?”
“Yay!! Big Brother baby, there, there~”
“Sakura wants to do it too~”
“Yuki too~”
Having received permission, the smiling Mio-chan and the others began to simultaneously scramble—I mean, stroke my head.
As for why Mio-chan was calling Sara-san “Okaasan,” it was because Sara-san had told her, “Please call me Mother, okay?”
...Wait, this was no time to be thinking so casually!
How did I even end up playing the “baby”? Why were they calling her “Mother”? It all started with a little “playtime” that was essentially a humiliation play(?) for me...
…………………
…………
…
“I want to play house!”
Mio-chan suddenly made the declaration during the free time that served as both a post-meal break and preparation time for the next event.
I thought it was just a cute game typical of little girls and found it purely heartwarming... at first.
“Sakura wants to do it too!”
“Yuki too!”
Sakura-chan and the others immediately volunteered, and we decided to watch the three of them play house with interest...
“Big Brother, you play too!”
“Big Brother, come with us!”
“Big Brother, over here!”
...Or so I thought, until the three of them nominated me. To be honest, playing house at my age was pretty embarrassing, but if I’m being truthful, I actually had quite a bit of experience with it since I’d been forced to play along with Yuzuha countless times.
If it would make Mio-chan and the others happy, then I didn't mind—that was genuinely how I felt.
“Mio is the Mama!”
“Ehh, Sakura wants to be the Mama!”
“Hmph... Sakura-chan was the Mama last time!!”
Before they even heard my answer, Mio-chan and the others moved on to the role assignment. As is common in playing house, the role of the mother was the most popular, and as expected, the three of them began fighting over it...
“Hmm... then Sara Onee-chan is the Mama!”
“Eh?”
Sara-san, who had suddenly been nominated for the leading role, let out a small gasp of surprise.
Um... is that really okay, Mio-chan?
“Me...?”
“Yeah. Sara Onee-chan should do it!”
“Well...”
Sara-san looked toward me with a bewildered expression, but the final say rested with Mio-chan and the others.
“Then Sakura is the Big Sister!”
“Mio is a Big Sister too!”
“Yuki is a Big Sister too!”
They accepted it quite easily. Now there were three people in the Big Sister role. Then there was my role. I naturally assumed I’d be the father—which meant I’d be Sara-san’s husband. I felt a little nervous just thinking about it.
“So, what should I do?”
“Guess what? Big Brother is the baby!”
“...Pardon?”
Everyone was stunned. Even the mothers and Yukie-san had matching question marks floating over their heads.
The baby... Me? Why would it turn out like that?!
“Big Brother, lie down here!”
“Big Brother baby, over here!”
Sakura-chan and Yuki-chan seemed fully prepared to treat me like a baby. This was way outside my expectations. Does the role of father not even exist in modern-day games of house?
“Big Brother baby!”
“Um... okay.”
For the time being, I lay down where Mio-chan pointed. Immediately, the three of them surrounded me and began to pat-pat—or rather, vigorously scramble my hair.
“Sara Onee-chan Mama, come here too~”
“Y-yes. If you’ll excuse me...”
Sara-san sat down hesitantly and immediately put my head in her lap. The comfort of it felt like ascending to heaven. My hectic heart rapidly regained its calm...
“Pat-pat~!!”
“Yay!!”
...Or it would have, if Mio-chan and the others hadn't been being so aggressive with their pat-pats!
“Hehe... when you stroke a baby’s head, you have to do it more slowly and gently, okay?”
“Gently?”
“That’s right. Just like I’m doing, like this...”
As if showing them an example, Sara-san used exaggerated movements to demonstrate a gentle pat-pat.
“Big Brother baby looks like he feels good~”
“Mama is so good at it~”
“Hehe, then please take turns trying it. And also...” Sara-san smiled a little mischievously. “Please call me... Mother, okay?”
……………
……
…
And that was why I was currently in the middle of this playing house roleplay.
“There, there. Big Brother baby is a good boy~”
Oblivious to my inner conflict, Mio-chan looked so happy as she stroked my head with an angel’s smile. Sakura-chan and Yuki-chan joined in as well.
“Pat-pat~”
“Big Brother baby is cute.”
“What a good boy~”
“Hehe... Kazunari-san♪”
While the children stroked my head, Sara-san gazed at me with a gentle look while making a subtle appeal by holding my hands in hers.
I shifted my gaze and saw that Mio-chan and the others’ mothers were watching us with incredibly heartwarming smiles.
“What’s wrong, Hanako-san?”
“...I kind of want to join in.”
“I figured you’d say that. I'm surprised you haven't barged in yet.”
“If I did that, the Wife’s Pressure would probably crush me.”
Eririn was looking on, biased as ever. The only saving grace was that everyone seemed to find this normal, though that was a problem in itself...
Wait, this wasn't the time to be thinking so rationally!
“Big Brother baby, are you hungry~?”
“Ah, Yuki will go get some food~”
“No, Yuki-chan. A baby’s food is Mama’s o-bbai.”
“Ah, that’s right~”
“...Huh?”
I suddenly had a very, very bad feeling.
“K-Kazunari-san?”
“Eh? No, well...”
What should I do? If I said I was hungry, what did Sara-san intend to do?! Don’t tell me she’d actually... wait, don’t imagine that scene!!
“Okaasan, Okaasan! Big Brother baby is hungry~”
“Mama, give the baby the o-bbai!”
“A-ah... well...”
Even for Sara-san, this development was unexpected. She looked troubled by the children clinging to her.
“S-Sara-san, you don’t have to push yourself, okay? We can stop here...”
“Push myself? Kazunari-san, did you just say I was pushing myself?”
Her eyes went vacant.
“If it is for you, Kazunari-san, nothing is ‘pushing it.’”
“I did wonder if doing such a thing in front of so many people would be appropriate... but I see. This is strictly ‘playing house,’ and I will not allow myself to be thought of as incapable of this. Not for the sake of my pride.”
“Sara-san, wait!?”
Sara-san firmly held my head in place.
“Hehe... Kazunari-san, be a good boy, okay?”
She wore a beaming smile that made me feel like I couldn't resist at all.
“S-Satsukawa-senpai, you aren't actually planning to do it, are you...?”
“Kazunari unconsciously triggered her pride as a wife,” Hanako analyzed. “Normally, if it were just the two of them, this would be nothing to her, but the fact that he thought she was ‘pushing it’ because of the crowd is unforgivable for a wife.”
“Your analytical ability is as amazing as ever, Hanako-san.”
“Wait a second. Does that mean Satsukawa-san is seriously going to try it?”
“Looking at her, she just might... This is probably an unloseable battle for Sara.”
“Hauuu...”
“What kind of battle is she fighting?! Stop this scandalous behavior, Sara!!” Mayumi shouted.
I was too late. My attempt at being considerate had backfired, and now I had no idea how to stop her.