Looking back on my life, the only real impression I have is how utterly miserable it has been.
Because I was born with silver hair, the people in my village never stopped tormenting me. They trampled the fields I plowed, threw stones at me even when I had done nothing, cheated me on my taxes, and found countless other ways to be cruel.
My mother died of illness, and Namia—the only soul who ever helped me—was murdered on the very day we promised to marry. Even now, the memory makes a black loathing seethe from the depths of my heart. No matter how many times I kill Dalga or the rest of those villagers, I doubt the rage writhing inside me will ever truly fade.
Yes, my life was always a sequence of miseries.
Yet, when I consider what the luckiest moment of my life might have been, I always arrive at the same conclusion: it was receiving the Skill: Save & Reset from Ageha. Without this skill, a monster would have devoured me long ago, and my miserable life would have ended in a miserable death. But thanks to this power, I am still able to draw breath.
In that sense, Ageha is my savior. I owe her a debt of gratitude I can never truly repay.
"Kiska, answer my question honestly. Why are you here in the World 100 Years Ago?"
And currently, that very savior had me pinned to the ground. I was flat on my stomach, being used as a footstool with my wrists bound. To top it off, a blade was pressed firmly against my throat.
"After Ageha did... whatever she did... I was sent to a world where there was nothing left."
"I don't understand what you're talking about! Listen to me—I negated the fact that I saved the world! I erased it! I destroyed it! What remains beyond that destruction is the World of Void, a place where nothing exists. No life is permitted to survive there. So how were you still alive in that world!?"
As she spoke, Ageha’s strength increased. Every time she pressed down, it became harder for me to breathe.
"He said... it was because I was an existence that had been removed from Causality."
"Who?! Who said that to you!?"
"Someone called the Observer appeared before me..."
"The Observer? What the hell is that!?"
"That Observer told me to go back to the Era 100 Years Ago..."
"Aaaaggghhh, stop it! I don't want to hear any more!"
In that instant, Ageha snapped.
Ah... blood was spraying everywhere.
It seemed Ageha had just slit my throat.
◆
I regained consciousness and opened my eyes, instantly aware that I had undergone a Return by Death.
Just like the time before, I was back inside the dungeon.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!!"
In front of me, Ageha was crouched on the floor, clutching her head and screaming at the top of her lungs.
"Hey... Ageha? Are you okay?"
I called out to her, unable to hide my confusion.
"Who is this Observer? What did they look like?"
She stopped screaming abruptly and turned her gaze toward me. I wracked my brain, trying to recall the details of that encounter.
"I’m not really sure. It’s hard to put into words... Overall, the figure was hazy and asymmetric. It didn't look human at all."
"Was it a God?"
"No. He said so himself—that he wasn't a God."
"...I see."
Ageha nodded and stood up, appearing completely drained.
"And you're saying this Observer person was the one who made you time travel to this era?"
"That’s right."
"How irritating. Knowing there’s something out there beyond my understanding. And you, Kiska... you just let yourself be manipulated by his words."
"Well, I mean..."
At the time, I couldn't think of any other way. I had no choice but to follow the Observer's instructions. Even now, I didn't think it was a mistake.
"To be honest, you're a nuisance."
Ageha glared at me with sharp, piercing eyes.
"As long as you’re here, the world will never end. And I want this world to disappear right now! So, please... just die. Once you're dead, I'll die right along with you. Then there won't be anyone left with <Save & Reset>, and no one will be left to stop the world from perishing."
She began to close the distance between us, step by agonizing step.
"Even if you tell me to die... if I die, I just go back to a point in time before it happened."
I had died hundreds of times already. Every single time, I had simply Returned by Death.
"Hey, don't play dumb with me. You must have realized by now that the Return by Death isn't forced. You can quit this game whenever you want. Every time you die, a screen appears, doesn't it? The one that asks: 'Would you like to try again? Yes / No.'"
She was right.
Every time I died, the words 'Game Over' appeared, and I was asked whether I wanted to try again. The very idea of choosing "No" was so terrifying that I had reflexively chosen "Yes" every single time without a second thought.
"Listen, you aren't the only one I gave <Save & Reset> to. I gave it to every single person who stepped into the Kataroff Dungeon. But everyone else gave up after dying maybe three times and chose 'No.' You're the only one, Kiska. You're the only one who stubbornly keeps choosing 'Yes' no matter how many times you die."
I felt like she had mentioned giving the skill to others before. But I finally understood. If I chose "No," the Return by Death would stop.
"So, Kiska, there’s no shame in choosing 'No.' What waits for you on the other side is an Eternal Sleep. Doesn't that sound better than this? Dying isn't so bad when you think of it that way. And I'll be right there with you. So, please. Just die."
She said it with a smile.
But it was a smile born of pure madness. Her lips were curled upward, but her eyes were cold and vacant.
"Well—"
The moment I tried to respond, my vision was flooded with crimson.
In the next heartbeat, my consciousness vanished.
◆
"Well, I suppose you wouldn't make it that easy for me."
When I Returned by Death and opened my eyes again, Ageha was already standing there, waiting for me.
"Look, Ageha—"
I couldn't finish my sentence. Ageha had already pressed her blade against the side of my neck.
"Kiska, I'm going to kill you now. Again and again and again—so many times you'll lose count. I’ll keep killing you until you're screaming that you can't take it anymore. And eventually, in your utter despair, you'll choose 'No' and stay dead. Until that moment comes, I'm going to kill you over and over."
I heard the wet spray of blood.
It seemed I was destined to be killed many more times before this was over.