Ever since I obtained Save & Reset, I feel like the value of my own life has hit rock bottom.
Death no longer means anything to me.
After all, I can just start over if I die.
In the beginning, I remember the pain and Mental Suffering nearly drove me insane every time I died. Now, I handle it much better than I did back then.
To say I am completely unfazed would be an exaggeration, though. There is no doubt that I am gradually growing accustomed to dying.
The fact that I am scares even me.
If that's the case, then how do I feel about killing others?
"See? There’s a Human right there."
I had brought Puppeteer to a specific location. Before me stood the Sealed Ageha.
『Hmm. But they’re behind a powerful Barrier. Even if I want to eat them, I can’t reach them like that.』
"I can break a Barrier easily."
Until now, I had been able to shatter them just by touching them. It should be the same this time.
『Is that so? Well then, by all means.』
At the sword's prompting, I began to walk toward the Sealed Ageha.
...Is this really the right thing to do?
I had considered many things on the way here. Which of the two should I sacrifice: Vampire Eudite or Ageha?
Vampire Eudite is dangerous. She’s killed me countless times, so leaving her to wander the Dungeon isn't exactly ideal. But I have memories of her that aren't all bad. That's why I hesitate.
And then there’s Ageha. Honestly, I have nothing but terrible memories of her. On the other hand, the number of times she’s killed me is far lower than Eudite.
I thought she would be safe as long as I didn't break the Seal, but whenever I interact with Eudite, Ageha somehow manifests as a Ghost separate from her Physical Body and tries to kill me.
Since I don't intend to see Eudite again, the risk of Ageha attacking me might be low, but she remains a threat nonetheless. Yes. Sacrificing her to Puppeteer is just a way to eliminate a future danger. It’s a necessary step to escape this Dungeon. I’m not doing anything wrong.
『What’s the matter? You’ve been standing there for a while.』
The voice snapped me back to reality. I realized my legs had stopped moving.
"Haa... haa... haa..."
My breath was shallow and ragged. My heart had been pounding erratically for a while now.
"Ngh... blegh!"
I doubled over and vomited. I stayed there on the ground, retching until my stomach was completely empty.
『Hey, hurry it up already.』
Puppeteer urged me on, but I couldn't even manage to stand.
Why do I feel so sick? Is someone attacking me? No, Ageha hasn't done anything. I’m simply being crushed by the weight of my own guilt.
Does the act of murder always carry this much Mental Suffering?
I started to hate myself for even thinking it was okay to sacrifice her. I’m the worst kind of person.
It's not that I've suddenly found a moral objection to the act of killing itself. After all, I've sworn Revenge against the Villagers. I hate them enough to want every last one of them dead.
But I can't feel that same hatred for Ageha.
Sure, she's caused me nothing but trouble. Objectively, maybe I have every right to kill her.
But... she told me she loved me.
Killing someone like that just because they’re an inconvenience is beyond despicable.
"I'm sorry... I can't. I can't kill her..." I muttered under my breath.
I might be pathetic. But my body simply refused to move.
If that's how it is, then fine.
Puppeteer, if you're not satisfied, then just kill me instead.
『Ah, geez. I guess it can't be helped.』
Suddenly, I heard Puppeteer's voice, sounding completely resigned. I was stunned; I never expected to hear such a tone from the sword.
『I'll give up on eating this girl. That's what you want, right?』
"...You're not going to eat me?"
『What's that? Do you want to be eaten?』
"...No, that's not it, but..." I said, slowly pushing myself up from the floor. "But you want to become a Human, don't you?"
『Well, yeah!』
"And to become a Human, you have to eat a Human, right?"
『But you won't let me!』
"Ah... right."
『Then we'll just have to find another way!』
I stared at Puppeteer in shock. I didn't know what kind of whim had taken hold of it... I didn't understand it at all.