Despite it finally being a day off, I didn't have the motivation to do anything.
But I'd already made a promise to Yuji...
Last night, Yuji—who I consider my best friend—sent me his usual message, and I ended up being quite blunt with him.
Worried by my attitude, he invited me to hang out at the arcade.
The moment we met in front of the station, his first words were, "You're in a terrible mood."
Yuji looked troubled, wearing an expression that was hard to describe, but it left quite an impression on me.
We had planned to spend time at the arcade, but in the end, I just wasn't feeling it, so we went to a family restaurant to talk instead.
Since Yuji and I kept each other updated on our lives, I didn't have to waste time explaining the unnecessary details of my situation.
Then, the conversation turned to what happened yesterday.
"Well... if someone you've been relatively close with suddenly treats you like any other random idiot, that’s bound to hit harder than usual."
"I was just deluding myself... thinking that I'd managed to open up to her a bit more than the other guys..."
"Hmm, I don't know her, so I can't say for sure, but was she really acting like that?"
"That's how it felt to me."
"I see... (This guy's prone to paranoia because of what happened back in Middle School. He might just be jumping to conclusions and overthinking things.)"
Yuji seemed to be lost in thought for a moment, but he quickly returned to his usual expression.
"Well, you might get a better idea the next time you see her. It could just be a misunderstanding."
That might have been true, but I was still terrified by the fact that Senpai had looked at me with "that gaze."
It felt as if she were implicitly telling me, "In the end, you're just like all the other fools..."
I thought I had earned some level of trust from her. The thought of being looked at with those eyes again made me lose any desire to see her.
"So, what's going on?"
Natsumi got straight to the point.
"It's about... what happened yesterday."
I reiterated the details of the situation I had briefly consulted her about over the phone last night.
"Unless I am mistaken... I may have hurt Takanashi-san..."
Ever since it happened, the look of sorrow on Takanashi-san's face had not left my mind.
To think that I might be the cause... it was a feeling I had never experienced before.
Had I... done something wrong?
And that final expression of his... what on earth did it mean?
"Hmm, I wanted to dig into this yesterday, too... but first, I have to ask: who exactly is Takanashi-san?"
I realized then that I hadn't actually told Natsumi anything about Takanashi-san.
Come to think of it, I had only ever spoken about him to my Grandmother...
"Ah!... I'm sorry. Takanashi-san is..."
I explained our interactions at the flowerbed and the incident involving my Grandmother.
There was more to it, of course, but a brief explanation seemed sufficient for now.
"Huh... for a modern-day boy... wait, do I sound like an old lady?"
"I believe Takanashi-san is different from other boys."
"I see, I see... So, what specifically happened yesterday?"
I explained the encounter at the stair landing.
I told her how I hadn't been there from the start, so I couldn't judge who was at fault.
How I had treated both parties the same way to remain impartial.
And how, because the other two had spoken first, I had ended up questioning Takanashi-san about the truth.
"Does that mean you gave him the same cold shoulder you give every other guy around here?"
"Yes."
I see... so that's what she did.
I've watched Sara's usual behavior almost every day.
She's ice-cold toward boys and purely businesslike toward girls. That's just the way Sara is.
Since I'm her friend, I know that once she actually opens up to you, she treats you normally.
But, for example...
"What happens if you're treated like that before you're even sure you've actually become friends?"
I have a feeling there's more to it than just that, but I can at least understand how this Takanashi guy might feel.
Still, for this girl—who is basically indifferent to everyone—to show such clear interest in someone... and a boy at that...
"Well... first off, I wouldn't say your response was necessarily wrong. I get the whole 'being fair' thing, and even if you trust him, it’s bad to make assumptions without evidence."
"Yes."
It seemed my actions were affirmed for the time being.
"However," Natsumi continued, "I don't know how much you realize this yourself..."
"But you don't exactly hide the fact that you loathe most guys. Sometimes, your attitude makes it clear that you don't even think they're worth your time."
It was true. I had felt that way about boys for a long time, and I had always been explicit with my attitude and words, assuming they were too dense to read the room anyway.
"It's actually gotten even worse over the past year, you know? It's a miracle you haven't made more enemies."
The past year...
That was likely when my impression of boys plummeted further due to the constant, frivolous confessions I had to deal with.
"And, while I don't know what Takanashi-san was thinking, he probably thought the two of you had gotten close to some extent. To be hit with that kind of attitude out of nowhere... well, he probably feels like he's just being lumped in with all the other idiots and that you don't trust him at all."
"That can't be... I truly believe Takanashi-san is different from the others."
"Yeah, you might feel that way, but he has no way of knowing what's in your head. You've never actually told him that, have you?"
"No... I haven't..."
"Do you have Takanashi-san's contact info?"
"Yes, we exchanged it previously."
Natsumi looked genuinely surprised.
"Huh... you actually did that with a boy? Well, whatever for now. Did you message him right after or last night?"
"No... honestly, I didn't understand what I had done wrong yesterday, so I didn't know what to say to him."
As I confessed the truth, Natsumi's expression turned complicated.
"Ugh, if you'd followed up right then, there might have been a chance to fix things..."
It seemed I had missed my best opportunity for a breakthrough.